Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

50/50?


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> 50/50? Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
50/50? - 12/12/2007 6:33:34 AM   
simplewhispers


Posts: 232
Joined: 12/27/2006
Status: offline 		What percentage would you say your role is in the Dom/sub relationship? Not just sexually, but in making household choices, responsiblities..... Just curious as to how the regular responsibilites are taken care of .

Thanks for reading.

_____________________________

A silent woman is always more admired than a noisy one.
Season your admiration for a while With an attent ear. . .

simplewhispers
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: 50/50? - 12/12/2007 6:35:20 AM   
asubmissiveheart


Posts: 462
Joined: 11/20/2006
Status: offline 		Nothing in life is ever 50/50.

(in reply to simplewhispers)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: 50/50? - 12/12/2007 6:42:14 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		We do not live together, but when we are together he makes all the choices he feels like making... which is most of them.

He makes choices for me even though I am not living with him.. not all the choices, because that would be impossible.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to simplewhispers)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: 50/50? - 12/12/2007 6:48:02 AM   
BloodLuna


Posts: 403
Joined: 10/28/2007
Status: offline 		luna would have to say that its actually closer to 60/50% with luna making more of the decisions.  weird right?  But Master works 12-13 hours a day and so luna takes care of the house, pays the bills, and does the groceries and the day to day stuff.  but when luna can't make a decision or isn't sure what to do - the final say is always 100% Master's. 

Right  now with luna on bed rest things are a little flip flopped.  Master has been doing like 60% of the normal household duties luna usually handles (dishes, laundry, dinner, um homework)  the great thing about power exchange is that its exchangeable

luna

_____________________________

"Old goths never die, they just need less makeup"



(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: 50/50? - 12/12/2007 6:52:04 AM   
ghitaPVH


Posts: 1363
Joined: 11/14/2007
Status: offline 		90/10. Sir makes all the desicions, ghita does all the work.

ok, not quite..you just cought me on a really bad day. grumbles about wondering how hard it is for a guy to wash a flipping dish around here.

_____________________________

Don't expect anything of me and I promise I'll never disappoint you.

"The true man wants two things: danger and play. For that reason he wants woman, as the most dangerous plaything. --Nietzsche"

(in reply to BloodLuna)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: 50/50? - 12/12/2007 7:12:31 AM   
CreativeDominant


Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline 		I would imagine it is whatever works in the dynamic.  I am not into micromanagement so some decisions...such as what to wear, when to get her hair cut/styled, when to go to the bathroom, etc....would be hers.  Even on bigger issues...such as her ums from previous relationships or her career, for example...I would tend to back away from anything other than an advisory role unless a decision she is going to make regarding those areas is going to have a big impact on not just that area but our relationship. 

(in reply to ghitaPVH)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: 50/50? - 12/12/2007 7:12:53 AM   
Gardenista


Posts: 146
Joined: 12/6/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ghitaPVH

90/10. Sir makes all the desicions, ghita does all the work.

ok, not quite..you just cought me on a really bad day. grumbles about wondering how hard it is for a guy to wash a flipping dish around here.



LOL! That made me laugh, because sometimes that seems to be the case around here, as well.

There are two areas around here where my husband's authority is stable and not prone to whimsy. All else is subject to change without notice. Like, for example... the gardening. I'll have a few projects going and he steps out either to help with the labor, or to throw in his (annoying) two cents.

I used to take care of all the housework until he decided the ums had to pitch in more. Thank you, hubby!

(in reply to ghitaPVH)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: 50/50? - 12/12/2007 7:25:46 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		Has to be at least 51/49 in the Doms favor for it to work.

(in reply to Gardenista)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: 50/50? - 12/12/2007 7:35:13 AM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: simplewhispers

What percentage would you say your role is in the Dom/sub relationship? Not just sexually, but in making household choices, responsiblities..... Just curious as to how the regular responsibilities are taken care of .


Its 100/100 percent whether in reference to responsibility or in consideration of receiving and giving. Each of us is 100% responsible for our relationship and what occurs in it. Choices made consider what would best serve 'us' - not one of us.

We don't look at the fact that 100% of the money comes from one of us any more than we look at 100% of the laundry is done by one of us. We look at it as 100% of what has to be done is done usually by the person best suited, skilled, or best able to do so, but just as often as a team with a common goal. Decisions are based upon the same concept and having the same consideration to a common goal.

Our relationship is complementary not based upon one's needs and another's fulfillment of those needs. There isn't a situation where 100% of the ideas come from one side and 100% of the effort comes from the other. The situation is resolved with 100% effort from both, serving 100% of us.

(in reply to simplewhispers)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: 50/50? - 12/12/2007 7:48:12 AM   
wisteriaV


Posts: 438
Joined: 3/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

Has to be at least 51/49 in the Doms favor for it to work.

LOL Ok had a good laugh with that one. Actually each person needs to give 100%  for it towork. However, in reality the 100% can vary depending. If Master is sick in bed, I don't expect him to make decisons...If I am sick in bed then Master wouldn't expect me to get up and take care of his needs. It's all give and take depending on the situation.

_____________________________

Every story has two sides , much like a coin and neither one is totally perfect.
If it doesn't float your boat, then don't get in the water~!

(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: 50/50? - 12/12/2007 8:04:41 AM   
Valyraen


Posts: 746
Joined: 2/14/2007
Status: offline 		I work an 8-hour shift as a CSR, so I'm out of the house for about 10 hours every day and come home around 11:30 - midnight every night. Kitten has a bad back which is aggravated by the weight that her breasts put on her. If you want an average of how much energy we exert in taking care of household responsibilities, on most days it's about 30/30, some days 40/30 or 30/40, depending on whether one of us has had a good day.

V

_____________________________

CM's Resident Fuzzy Kitteh

There is no creature more loving than a hungry cat.

Valyraen in ValyraenandAqua

(in reply to simplewhispers)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: 50/50? - 12/12/2007 8:09:01 AM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: simplewhispers

What percentage would you say your role is in the Dom/sub relationship? Not just sexually, but in making household choices, responsiblities..... Just curious as to how the regular responsibilites are taken care of .

Thanks for reading.

Depends on the people involved. I know it's a poor answer; but it really is also true. Some people are quite content and happy with a very unequal percentage; and then some are not.

As long as the people involved are happy with the status quo; more power to them for making it work for them.

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.


(in reply to simplewhispers)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: 50/50? - 12/12/2007 8:11:40 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

Its 100/100 percent whether in reference to responsibility or in consideration of receiving and giving. Each of us is 100% responsible for our relationship and what occurs in it. Choices made consider what would best serve 'us' - not one of us.

We don't look at the fact that 100% of the money comes from one of us any more than we look at 100% of the laundry is done by one of us. We look at it as 100% of what has to be done is done usually by the person best suited, skilled, or best able to do so, but just as often as a team with a common goal. Decisions are based upon the same concept and having the same consideration to a common goal.

Our relationship is complementary not based upon one's needs and another's fulfillment of those needs. There isn't a situation where 100% of the ideas come from one side and 100% of the effort comes from the other. The situation is resolved with 100% effort from both, serving 100% of us.


QFT



_____________________________
RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: 50/50? - 12/12/2007 8:14:27 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline 		I don't live in a household with only two adults so the 50/50 isn't possible.

Then it depends on the category of decision that needs to be made and then the follow through.

The majority of the decision making is in my hands for most things -- I ask for information routinely from my husband and my slave both. Even though I do not make the bulk of our household income (yet, we'll see what my interviews this spring turn up) I do have veto over all financial decisions simply because I am the person with the strongest reality check on what we can and cannot afford. Most mundane matters involve money so that places much of the decision making in my hands.

When it comes to things getting done, I'm over 90% reliable, I'm not perfect.

My slave is probably over 90% reliable.

My husband is like 75% reliable meaning eventually he'll get it done but 90% it will not be in what I consider (or my slave considers) any sort of timely fashion.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to simplewhispers)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: 50/50? - 12/12/2007 8:18:05 AM   
ctrlaltdelete


Posts: 284
Joined: 11/6/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth
Its 100/100 percent whether in reference to responsibility or in consideration of receiving and giving. Each of us is 100% responsible for our relationship and what occurs in it.


Hallelujah and Amen!

Couldn't have put it in any better terms than that!

_____________________________

The opinions expressed in my posts are strictly mine and do not seek to imply that my personal beliefs are representative of those of ANY other individual(s). Should these opinions hurt your little feelers, you are free and welcome to stop reading them.

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: 50/50? - 12/12/2007 9:46:14 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		I stand by my 51/49. Whats the use of being a submissive if the Dom/Domme dose'nt have the final say?

(in reply to ctrlaltdelete)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: 50/50? - 12/12/2007 9:49:13 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

I stand by my 51/49. Whats the use of being a submissive if the Dom/Domme dose'nt have the final say?


If I was in a relationship that was 51/49, that would suggest I was dominant 49%  of the time?
Nah. That would suck.
 
the.dark.

_____________________________
RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: 50/50? - 12/12/2007 9:53:05 AM   
ctrlaltdelete


Posts: 284
Joined: 11/6/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar
I stand by my 51/49. Whats the use of being a submissive if the Dom/Domme dose'nt have the final say?


I would go with that too, if the question had been about who has the say in the relationship. But the original question was:
"What percentage would you say your role is in the Dom/sub relationship? Not just sexually, but in making household choices, responsiblities..... Just curious as to how the regular responsibilites are taken care of ."

To me, this is not just a question about who makes decisions, but about the complete and entire dynamic inside the relationship. What is said, what is done, what is contributed, and what choices are made and which responsibilities exist. That, in its entirety means to me that both sides can give no less than 100% - hence the 100/100.

If the question comes down to who bears authority and responsibility for choices and decisions made in the relationship, I agree that the distribution should be in the very least 51/49 in favor of the dominant portion of the couple/family.


_____________________________

The opinions expressed in my posts are strictly mine and do not seek to imply that my personal beliefs are representative of those of ANY other individual(s). Should these opinions hurt your little feelers, you are free and welcome to stop reading them.

(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: 50/50? - 12/12/2007 10:06:55 AM   
gorgeous1


Posts: 367
Joined: 11/14/2007
Status: offline 		Final decisions on all things...100% hubby, but the decisions are not made without debate and my input. He is the head of the household, the captain of the ship, and I am his first mate. If the decision was a mistake, he is 100% accountable for it. In almost 10 years of marriage only a few decisions were made by him that I disagreed with, and they DID end up being the wrong decision, but he was man enough to admit it.

As far as mundane daily life, he earns almost 100% of the money, and while he is gone earning it, I do 100% of the work of keeping the ship on course and afloat.

When he's home, we both work together to do what needs to be done. I would say he does quite a bit more "domestic" things than is usually expected of a man who is the breadwinner, but then again, I do quite a bit more "manly" stuff around the house. I do about 95% of the yard work, I scamper up the ladder to hang the Christmas lights or paint the wood trim, and my kids refer to the Power Tools as "Mommie's tools." I'm not the kind of girl who waits around for months on end for my husband to hang a towel rack.

Car maintenence...100% hubby. I don't even put gas in my car.

I gotta brag on my man for a minute here...I LOVE how on weekends, he does 100% of the diaper changes, and how he knows I need a break from the house and kids, and I take off for at least two hours every Saturday to just window shop, or do whatever.

We definitely have a D/s relationship that spills into our mundane lives, but I have no problem with asking for a bowl of frozen yogurt, or for him to bring me a glass of water, or massage my feet. I guess we both get what we need, and the percentage doesn't really matter, as long as we're both satisfied in knowing that we put each other first.

_____________________________

Wife/property of CapnSpankins...and loving every minute of it! Visit my juicy blog http://www.kinkycrafts.info/gorgeous-blog/gblog.php for updates on my slave training!

(in reply to RCdc)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: 50/50? - 12/12/2007 2:47:04 PM   
simplewhispers


Posts: 232
Joined: 12/27/2006
Status: offline 		thank you for your comments .

_____________________________

A silent woman is always more admired than a noisy one.
Season your admiration for a while With an attent ear. . .

simplewhispers

(in reply to gorgeous1)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> 50/50? Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.125