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domiguy -> RE: A survivor's story (long post) (12/13/2007 5:41:23 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Maya2001
quote:
ORIGINAL: domiguy
quote:
BloodLuna
Why am I coming out with this on the boards after 7 years? Because I want to make it clear to those with any doubts that there is a difference between Consensual and Abusive. Because I want to make it clear that any person can say they are anything or anyone online, or in the beginning of a relationship.
This is definitely part of the lesson.....But folks, in reality isn't this the part of the message that should equally be gleaned?
quote:
BloodLuna
Warning bells should have gone off for me immediately. I'd been in the lifestyle 5 years at that point. The house was set up with his father living downstairs and B upstairs. A staircase on the inside reached the upstairs; there were two doors - one at the foot of the stairs and one at the top of the stairs and both locked from the outside. There were bars on every window of the entire house, even the second floor. I was told this was because of the neighborhood we were living in and that the locks on the doors were for my safety because his dad was a drunk.
If you think something is "off"...It probably is...Always go with your gut!!!
Although the abuser always deserves the blame for the harm that is administered....I truly believe there are many women on this site who possess the common sense and intuition that would have never allowed the above events to have ever transpired in the first place.
Many folks have no business being out here.
Use your noodles, you dopes.
She was young, she was naive, she may have been at a low point in her life where she hsd low self-esteem(this is especially what predators looks for)
it does not happen in just the BDSM world it happens in the vanilla world too, been there myself. So where on the planet should we be to be safe from predators if they exist in BDSM and the vanilla worlds. When a child is abused are they responsible or deserve what they got as well ???? Does the woman that dresses provocatively deserved to be jumped and raped? Did you never make mistakes in judgement? Were you never young and foolish and a tad too trusting? Were you never taken advantage of?
Men like B specifically seeking out those that are weak be it at time a women is just into a break up, that may have low self esteem , or they are naive and trusting probably like the case of the 2 14 year olds he vixtimized as well.
They turn on the charm, they spoil, they pamper, they make you feel like a goddess till they have you emotionally wrapped around their little finger beleiving they are some white knight in shining armour, it is not until they have you isolated do you become aware that something is not right by then it is already too late, do you think if she decide to bolt when she seen the windows barred he would have just let her walk , if they were in an isolated area , he would have simply taken her by force then. Who did you vote for last? did you vote for them based on their promises? did they keep them? Did you ever have someone you believein .. lie and fuck you over? did you ever get conned into a piece of drap car by a used car salesman? It is easy to point fingers and place blame but I doubt anyone will get through life without being a dope or conned at some point in their life, but that does not mean we deserve the violence that was done to Luna or other women who suffered similiar fates.
Luna is well aware she made mistakes she will be reminded of that for the rest of her life, she came on here to warn others that predators do exist and to be careful she does not need someone like yourself rubbing her nose in it , because all you succeed in accomplishing by doing is tearing away the self esteem she is fighting to rebuild, nor does she deserve it
First off, I think it was fine that Luna chose to share her story with others. I just thought it was appropriate to interject that the message that might have been lost in all of this is to use all of your senses before you find yourself in a similar situation.
There are a ton of people out here that ain't quite right in the head. So I called them "dopes." If people thought I was referring to Luna they would be mistaken...I didn't understand why some posters decided to chime in to explain that the events that transpired in their pasts were well beyond their control. Though this obviously is often the case, it was clearly not what I was alluding to. Many times unfortunate situations can be avoided if we take the time to listen to our inner voice, survey the landscape and not to be in such an incredible rush.
Maya, I find your post insulting....At no point did I suggest what happened to Luna was the same as child abuse. There is a huge difference. Many people although there are never responsible for the abuse that they recieve were to a certain degree co-conspirators.
First off, this is not Eharmony if you have some how failed to notice. This is not the "vanilla world." If you haven't taken the time, this is the place where women, whether subs or doms, routinely bitch about getting messages from men calling them useless cunts and whores and suggesting that it might be high time for them to get on their knees and engage in some top-flight cockswabbing. Eharmony? Sound vanilla? if so I've got to start hangin' at those spots.
Luna explained how she missed the warning signs....This obviously made little impression on you.
I didn't vote for Bush...I have made mistakes. I have regretted purchases that I have made. I have been lied to.
I have never stuck my hand in an aquarium full of pirhannas....I won't be the passenger in a car if the driver is impaired. I do my best to avoid situations and people that are gonna kill my tight and groovin' jam. When I lose my arm because I choose to drive home with a friend that was drunk....I will live with the ramifications of being called "lefty" while my friend heads to jail. Some people might ask me, "what in the fuck were you thinking letting that drunk asshole drive you home?" My response would probably be, "I wasn't." Now if we were both sober and then got creamed by a car whose driver was drunk then in most cases it would be considered as unforseeable as well as probably impossible to avoid. Any of this getting through?
Though it is nice to say that we are glad for Luna's safety and wish her well into the future....It doesn't change the situation that by not utilizing and ignoring her senses she became much easier prey for "person B" (I'm very confused if this is Divi, Bossyshoebitch, Micheal or Mine?)
Anywhooooo, I thought I would respond once again, not to be combative but to explain the "real and true" lesson of Luna's story....Trust me, it is not that there is a difference between consent and abuse....Event the most regressed of brains can probably kind of wrap their lil' pea-heads around that one....The lesson is to keep your brain active...Utilize all of your senses. If you brain says "get the fuck out of here!" don't let that tingling a twat talk you out of it. Just get the fuck out! Hopefully you don't get blind sided by the drunk in the other car! Go in peace....You dumb slits.
God is great. God is Good. Let us thank him for our brains......Now start using them....Amen.
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