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The Future of Nursery Rhymes - 12/12/2007 12:37:39 PM   
petaraven


Posts: 19
Joined: 3/5/2007
Status: offline 		Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
The structure of the wall was incorrect
So he won a grand with Claims Direct.

It's Raining, It's Pouring.
Oh sh * t, it's Global Warming.
  
Mary had a little lamb
her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with her
between two chunks of bread.

Simple Simon met a pie man going to the fair.
Said Simple Simon to the pie man
'What have u got there?'
Said the pie man unto Simon
Pies you d * ckhead.

Mary had a little lamb
it ran into a pylon.
10,000 volts went up its ar * e
and turned its wool to nylon.

Georgie Porgie Pudding and Pie
kissed the girls and made them cry.
When the boys came out to play
he kissed them too cause he was gay.

Jack and Jill
Went up the hill
And planned to do some kissing.
Jack made a pass
and grabbed her ass
Now two of his teeth are missing.

Mary had a little lamb
Its fleece was white and wispy.
Then it caught Foot and Mouth Disease
And now it's black and crispy
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RE: The Future of Nursery Rhymes - 12/12/2007 3:15:12 PM   
rubberpet


Posts: 1743
Joined: 4/6/2006
From: The Land of Voodoo
Status: offline 		Those were really good!  I needed that laugh!   Allow me to post a few of my faves.

Jack and Jill went up the hill
with each a buck and a quarter,
Jill came down with two-fifty...
Oh, what a fuckin' little whore!

Little Miss Muffet, sat on her tuffet,
eating her curds and whey,
along came a spider, sat down beside her,
and said, "What's in the bowl, bitch!"

Little boy blue
'cause he needed the money!

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RE: The Future of Nursery Rhymes - 12/12/2007 4:22:47 PM   
MistressPav


Posts: 350
Joined: 11/14/2007
Status: offline 		ROFL

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RE: The Future of Nursery Rhymes - 12/12/2007 6:27:55 PM   
JackM1


Posts: 137
Joined: 2/3/2007
Status: offline 		"jack and jill
went up the hill
to fetch a pail of water.
no one knows how, but when they came down
they had a baby daughter"

"jack and jill
went up the hill
to fetch a pail of water.
jack got high and unzipped his fly
and jill said 'i dont wanna'"


ehhehee...ah...remnants of my youth...

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RE: The Future of Nursery Rhymes - 12/12/2007 7:26:19 PM   
Sub03


Posts: 600
Joined: 4/30/2005
Status: offline 		hi ho hi ho it's off to work we go
I paid my buck now I want my f*ck
hi ho hi ho hi ho

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RE: The Future of Nursery Rhymes - 12/12/2007 8:05:37 PM   
Moloch


Posts: 1090
Joined: 6/25/2005
Status: offline 		Yankee doodle went to town riding on his mother every time he hit a bump he got another brother!

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RE: The Future of Nursery Rhymes - 12/13/2007 12:14:26 AM   
HypnoticDan


Posts: 463
Joined: 5/23/2007
Status: offline 		jack be nimble,
jack be quick.
jack stand still -
you're making me sick!

mary had a little lamb
a pint of lager and some ham
a side of beef, a can of spam
a lobster and a little jam,
some porridge hot, some borscht quite cold,
some liquid grape (vintage quite old),
sushi, curry, stir fried noodle,
a deep fried snake and then some poodle,
a truffle and a yard of ale,
some mushy fruit that was on sale,
a pound of walnuts (maybe more)
an ostritch egg (or more like four)
a chocolate fudge cake and some mutton,
even the gunk in her belly button!
a little butter, a little bread
...and in the morning, she was dead.

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RE: The Future of Nursery Rhymes - 12/13/2007 12:28:50 AM   
darkesttdesire


Posts: 25
Joined: 10/11/2007
Status: offline 		Come into my parlour said the Master to the sub,
with empty words and promises of the local bdsm club,
Hey Hey lil sub, DON'T fall into his deadly trap,
Alot of wanabe Masters are full of F**king CRAP!!!!

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RE: The Future of Nursery Rhymes - 1/13/2008 3:22:59 PM   
ZeeandTaz


Posts: 8
Joined: 12/28/2007
Status: offline
little slave margret
knelt on a carpet
wishing master would play
along came the flogger
biting on her shoulders
and margret went to space
 
 
little subbie sue
come blow your master
the maids in the attic
the butlers in his room..
where is little subbie sue?
she's fast asleep on her back
with leather cuffs all askew
 
 
slave be nimble
slave be quick
avoid the crack of my whip
slave be nimble
slave be quick
and get the cane right quick!

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RE: The Future of Nursery Rhymes - 1/23/2008 1:47:12 AM   
SirWolfr1


Posts: 1
Joined: 1/22/2008
Status: offline 		Jack and Jill
Went up the hill
Each had a buck and a quarter
Jill came down with two and a half
Ya think they went up there for water??

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RE: The Future of Nursery Rhymes - 1/23/2008 10:36:03 AM   
ItalianSMistress


Posts: 427
Joined: 1/19/2007
From: Niagara Region Ontario Canada
Status: offline 		Nursery Rhymes by Marley:
 
 
3 monkeys sittin' under a coconut tree
Discussing things as they are set to be
Said one to the others
Now listen you two
There's a strange rumor that can't be true
They say man was descended from our noble race
But the very idea is a big disgrace
No monkey ever deserted his wife
Or her baby and ruined their lives
YEAH, the monkey's drift is mine.
 
Listen now I man he say Jack and Jill went up the hill to sell some marijuana
Buck up the fed dey broke jack crown
And Jill came tumbling after
Little Bo peep she lost her sheep
To thief inna di pasture
and if one try do dat again
It's goin to bring disaster
King of Kings and di Lord of Lords
Everlasting Everlaster
Inspired I and I to be a microphone blaster
Me nah goin bow down to no slave master
Help di youths dem first and ask ya question dem after
 
 
I had to share, I love those, lol

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RE: The Future of Nursery Rhymes - 1/23/2008 10:38:26 AM   
Hanable


Posts: 3284
Joined: 3/19/2007
From: BFE ohio
Status: offline 		very nice... i love it.

H >:)

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RE: The Future of Nursery Rhymes - 1/23/2008 11:32:36 AM   
bislaveforuse


Posts: 6
Joined: 1/19/2008
From: Ohio
Status: offline 		loved it!

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Profile   Post #: 13
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