RE: Confidence in ownership (questions)

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RE: Confidence in ownership (questions) - 12/16/2007 4:40:51 AM

TysGalilah

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quote:

ORIGINAL: batshalom

quote:

ORIGINAL: Ryugen

A check in the mail is fine

Ah, grasshoppa, it is something we each pay to ourselves when we come to enlightenment.

ohhhh I liked that Batshalom : )

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RE: Confidence in ownership (questions) - 12/16/2007 5:01:46 AM

juliaoceania

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Your questions are good, but I find myself skipping the first couple of paragraphs, and I am sure the wordiness of them are going to be an obstacle to getting responses. Personally I get bored by posts that go on and on with no seeeming point, and yours could be written much more succinctly

quote:

As a submissive/slave, is it reassuring to you that your Master/Mistress/potential Master/potential Mistress owns and takes good care of inanimate objects he owns, motor vehicles he owns, pets he might have, or that he owns and takes care of a house/apartment/land? By reassuring I mean does it make you feel more comfortable in submitting to them, doing what they tell you to/ask of you, being in their care, and give you more faith in them and reason to trust them?

I would not equate ownership and care of me with ownership and care of inanimate objects. I am not a materialistic person, and if things get broken, or lost, or borrowed and never returned I put zero energy into that. While appreciating what one has is a good value, putting lots of importance on it isn't necessarily. Now if the person had no commitment to their pets, that would be a turn off.

quote:

Also, while I realise most subs/slaves look for a Dom/Master/Mistress that is of close age to them, are there any reasons for this other than (perhaps) a better ability to relate to them from having similar upbringings and perhaps exposure to the same world events and times? I realise many subs/slaves value life experience as a positive quality in their ideal Dom/Master/Mistress, but does that mean the younger subs/slaves are looking for older Dom's/Masters/Mistresses because of the chance of them having more life experience?

While age may not equate to maturity, do many young subs/slaves look for older Dom's/Masters/Mistresses because of the prospect that they may be more mature than a younger equivalent?

Simply, no

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RE: Confidence in ownership (questions) - 12/16/2007 5:11:21 AM

TysGalilah

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[As a submissive/slave, is it reassuring to you that your Master/Mistress/potential Master/potential Mistress owns and takes good care of inanimate objects he owns, motor vehicles he owns, pets he might have, or that he owns and takes care of a house/apartment/land? By reassuring I mean does it make you feel more comfortable in submitting to them, doing what they tell you to/ask of you, being in their care, and give you more faith in them and reason to trust them? ]

re: inatimate objects:   not in a materialistic way, no.
   but I do think that it can reflect the "self-control or lack there of" they have in their own lives when they care to take care of and have pride in what they have worked hard for and have around them.
( I highlighted " can " because it's not an absolute statement of fact and can vary of course )

I will admit to feeling cautious and question the declarations made by some profiles of "masterful abilities to help the submissive be all she can be ! and expectations they have in their potential partners" > meanwhile behind them in their picture is a room filled with stacks upon stacks of clutter, empty beer bottles and fast food containers littering the room....no organization of any sort around the desk and their appearance looked like they didnt have the sense to put a shirt on and comb their hair to make a first impression in a profile picture.
   then their journal complaining that no one responds to their emails!..

but as long as I am being honest > I will say I feel the same reaction when I see pictures like that of the s'types too.   what does that say about how they take care of themselves. ?

and gee what does that say about me , that I look for that stuff ?? LOL   groan.
says I was raised by a father who  accepted nothing less than perfect from me..and a mother who was a clean freak...
yikes..

I am still trying to find a balance about that in my own life.
so don't really mean to come across as judgemental
just trying to answer the question by OP honestly as I feel it.

Pets? yes, definately. A very good indication.

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RE: Confidence in ownership (questions) - 12/16/2007 9:20:01 AM

Ryugen

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quote:

ORIGINAL: batshalom

quote:

ORIGINAL: Ryugen

A check in the mail is fine

Ah, grasshoppa, it is something we each pay to ourselves when we come to enlightenment.

Damn, and here was me hoping for an easy million

(and I realised after posting, and still not knowing how to edit, that it's "cheque"

)

To the others who have posted since last I did, thank you very much for your responces.

juliaoceania; Right you are, I'll cut down on all the unnecissary wording and try and get any points I have across a lot earlier in my posts. Thank you for the reply and advice!

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RE: Confidence in ownership (questions) - 12/16/2007 12:10:46 PM

RCdc

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My opinion?(Yeah - ya didn;t ask for it, but hey)
Your phrasing and wording is working just fine. So what if some people find it wordy? If anyone spends time answering reading and answering your questions, they will respond whatever. Otherwise, you not really being true to yourself and asking how you really want - and those that find your words too wordy or fuss over the way you want to ask, aren't really worth you time anway surely?
I do not wish to appear rude and it is my opinion, but I wouldn't change for others just to make them happy. You can't please everyone all the time.

Be safe
the.dark.

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RE: Confidence in ownership (questions) - 12/16/2007 3:07:49 PM

unravel

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This post got me thinking, so thank you for that! :)

In the end, i am not so sure it would make a different to me in terms of the Dominant's pride of ownership, or lack thereof, for items such as a car or other materialistic goods. While i am one to take care of "my stuff", i try to avoid being judgmental of others on such small things. We are all different.

For pets, it is different. They are live beings, and i am a huge animal lover, so anyOne who would be abusive of pets or anything like that would surely not get my confidence.

As far as age is concerned, i do not feel it is a factor for me in either direction, be it a younger Dominant or an older Dominant. Age is a relative thing, to how one perceives oneself, and how one acts and behaves and thinks on an every day basis.

unravel

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RE: Confidence in ownership (questions) - 12/16/2007 3:08:29 PM

adoracat

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~~fast reply~~
(cause i like to read what others wrote)

the thing that sold me most on Daddy? the girls approved of him. oh, he and i had talked for hours on the phone, weeks more than that on IM and emails exchanged...

but when he came into my home, and the dogs stopped barking, wagged their tails, and begged for pettinses...even the one who was extremely skittish? i trusted that. he was good to the puppygirls, and he's been even better to me. the puppies were right. (two german shepherd dogs)

kitten

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Post #: 27

RE: Confidence in ownership (questions) - 12/17/2007 2:36:12 AM

RCdc

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Oh kitten, that made me smile and think of my birds.
I have two parakeets, who are nervous and skittish with strangers. Anyone with birds will know how their pupils dilate when nervous but with Darcy they were absolutely fine even for the first time, eating from his fingers when offered, which is completely unheard of when strangers are around as they usually dive into their box.

the.dark.

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RE: Confidence in ownership (questions) - 12/17/2007 4:30:00 AM

diaperboy99

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From what I can see from the responses so far, all refer to subs.

My opinion for what its worth, is that slaves do not have rights and in an ideal world not even the right to choose their owner so the questions are moot. I does not make sense to me that a slave Owner would have a slave as their SO, and to call a slave a partner is very demeaning to the Owner. It seems odd that so many who purport to be slaves, have their Dom/Master/Owner as their "partner". How can a Master/Mistress and a slave be partners? By definition one owns the other.

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RE: Confidence in ownership (questions) - 12/17/2007 4:53:19 AM

RCdc

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It may be the definition (loose) but as you would know (maybe) there are many types of slaves - who are you to dictate what an Owner calls and determines his/her property to be?

the.dark.

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RE: Confidence in ownership (questions) - 12/17/2007 7:43:58 AM

porkchop

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Joined: 2/6/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: diaperboy99

Dom/Master/Owner as their "partner"

I'll not get into speaking for anyone else/painting the world with one huge paintbrush... but the partner thing? There are three of us in Sir's house, and I do think of this as a partnership. We're just not equal partners.

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RE: Confidence in ownership (questions) - 12/17/2007 7:54:29 AM

IrishMist

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

It may be the definition (loose) but as you would know (maybe) there are many types of slaves - who are you to dictate what an Owner calls and determines his/her property to be?

the.dark.

Ditto

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RE: Confidence in ownership (questions) - 12/17/2007 9:22:05 AM

batshalom

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quote:

ORIGINAL: diaperboy99

in an ideal world

You have a good point but do keep in mind that this is your ideal world and not necessarily anyone else's.

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RE: Confidence in ownership (questions) - 12/17/2007 12:01:20 PM

Ryugen

Posts: 69
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

My opinion?(Yeah - ya didn;t ask for it, but hey)
Your phrasing and wording is working just fine. So what if some people find it wordy? If anyone spends time answering reading and answering your questions, they will respond whatever. Otherwise, you not really being true to yourself and asking how you really want - and those that find your words too wordy or fuss over the way you want to ask, aren't really worth you time anway surely?
I do not wish to appear rude and it is my opinion, but I wouldn't change for others just to make them happy. You can't please everyone all the time.

Be safe
the.dark.

Thank you very much for your opinions, I'm glad of them. I am not going to reply to my most recent thread in General BDSM because it seems to have completely gone off on a tangent with almost none of the most recent posters paying enough attention to the subject of the 'disclaimer'

I'd rather it fall off the main page and cease being paid attention to. It seems a lost cause now. Perhaps I shall try to recreate the actual topic of discussion I was aiming for at a later time when I can find a better hypothetical scenario to apply the topic to.

As to the 'ideal world', be careful what you wish for, diaperboy.

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