RE: "protect the property" (Full Version)

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BloodLuna -> RE: "protect the property" (12/16/2007 6:02:37 AM)

luna's Master changed his definitions of protection and property when luna went on bed rest with the pregnancy.  At first - protect my property meant that luna was to take care of herself: dress well, stay healthy, exercize, meditate, and care for what he considered to be a valuable possession.   It also meant that luna was not allowed to mutilate or damage his valuable possession (2 years ago luna was a self-cutter)  It also meant that she should care for his home, his animals and anything he cared about to the best of his ability because he trusted her to do so.
 
but  luna is an over achiever, a type A mover and a perfectionist.  When the bedrest order came from higher up the food chain (doc) luna had a VERY hard time obeying this order.  she was constantly up on her feet, cleaning, arranging, cooking, unable to give up the need to be busy.  After all, it was her job to take care of everything - and she was unable to "protect" the slave and do so at the same time.  Sso the order for luna to "protect the property was recinded.  luna, temporarily disabled, was no longer able to "protect the Master's property" (ie herself and her role combined)  and so it fell to Master to do it for himself.  luna was stripped of her rights to make decisions, to care for the house, or do anything other than lay in bed.  the Master assumed the role of protector himself - he cared for luna, the house, the animals.  luna had to adjust to the fact that the dishes might not be put away in the right spot, but they were clean.  and luna was safely tucked in bed.
 
so yes, luna can see that sometimes "protect the property" cannot possibly be the sub/slave's "job" 
 
hope this .02 made "cents"
 
luna



KnightofMists -> RE: "protect the property" (12/16/2007 6:10:12 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ghitaPVH

Im more concerend with what he means by no longer believeing in it.


I agree... this is a huge red flag to me



mhawk -> RE: "protect the property" (12/16/2007 6:51:59 AM)





to me "protect the property" means just that. protect the property.

that is something my Lord highly beleives in.He has no issue if others say things against Him or what He does for example.but if someone were to directly "attack" (and i use that term lightly) His wife or (me) His slave He would most certainly defend us at any given cost.

for example say we were out at a party or dinner and someone was randomly hitting on His wife or me and it was obviously unwanted(as it is from others) He would take the person aside and at least talk to them first.i'm just guessing on this next part that if said person didn't get the point after that and kept persisting than all i can say is i woulnd't feel sorry for the guy.

i would seriously wonder if a Dominate or Owner didn't protect who or what is theirs.enve His wife,my Mistress told me out front the others night after some time together,when i get docile and vulenrable after a flogging it intensifies Her outlook to and i quote "feircely protect me".

that's just my thoughts





ghitaPVH -> RE: "protect the property" (12/16/2007 7:45:32 AM)

I am so glad Im not the only one with a sword near my bed. you have no idea how greatly this has helped me feel more..normal....



MidMichCowboy -> RE: "protect the property" (12/16/2007 8:14:09 AM)

ghita
My best friend sleeps with a sword under his bed. He is an expert with it. I prefer a shotgun. I thought protection for the house was normal.

As for the "protect the property", you really have to talk to him and find out his feelings. My first read on what you said was that he was tired and spiritually wore out. That does happen with caregivers. But, that is just a guess, brought on by my personal experiences. We all have a different context, so guessing what one person means with a phrase is just about impossible. Its like a pentacostal minister doing a whole sermon on just one phrase from a bible that's been translated a few times. Most likely, its wrong.



Phoenix2raven -> RE: "protect the property" (12/16/2007 9:09:44 AM)

So with out getting to long winded or to personal what my submissive is referring to is  about a miscommunication.  I did not mean don't take care of the property. What I meant is be aware of my new limitations by asking can you do this sir. Because I have new physical limitations that hinder me from helping her to get proper rest and have caused a rift in our D/s. The miscommunication we had is because I was unable to give her an immediate answer to my statement which caused her to become fearful. That to me is very understandable because in my experience protect the property is one of the most basic tenants of a D/s relationship. My bad for not explaining my statement immediately so now I'll open my mouth and insert my foot. My new limitations have put a very difficult strain on our relationship. I'm not sure about the wording but it may be something to ask about in another forum post. How is D/s affected when both Dom and sub are disabled and how other Dom's and subs deal with it. 
Thanks, Phoenix 



DesFIP -> RE: "protect the property" (12/16/2007 9:20:36 AM)

Control is in the mind and heart. The physical stuff does not make up D/s.

How to handle the fact that neither of you can keep doing everything? Accept it, it will happen to all of us with age. Can you afford a housekeeper twice a month to scrub out bathtubs? Can you hire a neighborhood teen to shovel snow and rake leaves? Are there any agencies you can call to take some of the burden off, any family or friends.

But both of you are going to need to be very clear about how you feel and express it when something changes even if you suddenly feel bad in the middle of mopping the kitchen floor. When you can do something do it but don't overdo it. And do schedule in rest breaks.



Sinergy -> RE: "protect the property" (12/16/2007 10:24:35 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: topcat

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub
Comes running down the stairs with his sword and mine to give to me. [:)]


Bad Master! BAD! <THAWK!>
 
No running with swords! <thawk!>


I used to do front rolls over 5 foot objects with swords.

I almost never cut myself.

Bruce Leeergy

p.s.  What really hurts is trying to learn the three section staff.  A weapon designed by an idiot, full of sound and fury, dangerous to nobody but the user.



AFlyInYourWeb -> RE: "protect the property" (12/16/2007 10:50:18 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ghitaPVH

I am so glad Im not the only one with a sword near my bed. you have no idea how greatly this has helped me feel more..normal....


I prefer a 12-gauge myself, but that's probably because my fencing skills never rose above the level of pathetic [:'(]



AquaticSub -> RE: "protect the property" (12/16/2007 11:29:30 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ghitaPVH

I am so glad Im not the only one with a sword near my bed. you have no idea how greatly this has helped me feel more..normal....


We've got one on my side, two on his, two of mine in the hallway, some more downstairs....

We're never very far from sharp objects. Now, if we count as normal... I don't know! [:)]



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: "protect the property" (12/16/2007 11:49:14 AM)

Well Luna, I'm glad that you and your master have found a workaround at this stage of things for you guys.  But I really implore you to find help and work on this need to please and need to be in control and doing things, even to the detriment of yourself and your relationship.  You don't want to be that example for your offspring.  In order for your saying "yes" things to have meaning, you must be meaningfully able to say "no" to things as well.



GoddessTeaze -> RE: "protect the property" (12/16/2007 11:56:16 AM)

ORIGINAL: Phoenix2raven
quote:

my Sir shocked me this morning by saying he no longer believes in "protect the property."

I think you should ask your Sir,
what it is He ment.

Wwe can all tell what Wwe think,
but Wwe can't mindread Him.

B safe


GoddezzT`

P.s: apparently He told you better now what He ment?
I just read His post. Well then this is old news!



ownedgirlie -> RE: "protect the property" (12/16/2007 11:57:35 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Control is in the mind and heart. The physical stuff does not make up D/s.

How to handle the fact that neither of you can keep doing everything? Accept it, it will happen to all of us with age. Can you afford a housekeeper twice a month to scrub out bathtubs? Can you hire a neighborhood teen to shovel snow and rake leaves? Are there any agencies you can call to take some of the burden off, any family or friends.

But both of you are going to need to be very clear about how you feel and express it when something changes even if you suddenly feel bad in the middle of mopping the kitchen floor. When you can do something do it but don't overdo it. And do schedule in rest breaks.


Great advice.

I hope to read other opinions that have to do with the OP as well, as it's an interesting topic, to me.



Phoenix2raven -> RE: "protect the property" (12/16/2007 12:12:26 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: AFlyInYourWeb
With apologies to Issac Asimov, I have modified his Three Laws of Robotics to define my understanding of "protect the property":

  1. A submissive may not seriously injure themselves or, through inaction, allow themselves to come to serious harm.
  2. A submissive must obey orders given by the Dominant, except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.
  3. A submissive must protect the Dominant's other property as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law.
*laughs* that is so good, i need to print it out and hang it up! thank you :)
raven



Phoenix2raven -> RE: "protect the property" (12/16/2007 12:20:12 PM)

HottLicks, thank you for your long and thoughtful post. you ask good questions! my former partner accused me of using my illness to get out of doing "real work," but Sir and i have discussed that ... he says he felt that way early in the relationship, but then he watched me and saw that it wasn't the case. actually i get into doing too much, always seeking something to do even if i'm stuck in bed, which is why i have the standing orders not to over-do things.

we're still discussing the issue ... he said he's posted to this thread and i'm plugging my way through it, sort of dreading it *lol* but not really, it's all good because we'll have even more to discuss. your thoughtful post brings up a lot of very good questions i can ask of Sir.



Phoenix2raven -> RE: "protect the property" (12/16/2007 12:32:46 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: HottLicks
I couldn't agree more with this!  I have seen that passive agressive type behavior and it gives a bad rap to a lot who don't use it.  In many illnesses, there are good moments and bad moments and some can make no sense at all and people will think the ill are playing a game of choice.  I have seen people be fine one minute, having fun and the next look like they are on their death bed.  Honesty in a situation like this is the only way a partner can be assured that their partner isn't playing a game.


ohhh i know what you're talking about!! after i first became disabled, i saw both a grief counselor and a pain therapist. i learned early on that i have to be brutally honest when i'm asking for what i need, even if it's TMI or embarassing, so that anyone who chooses to take on the caregiver role with me doesn't burn out! i was matched up with a "buddy" who was a caregiver, so i could hear what they had to go through, which is amazing. i was a bit of a caregiver myself all my life, but not in a 24/7, long-term relationship. burnout has to be prevented, definitely. i warned Sir when we met, after describing my conditions, that he could burn out, and i never wanted that to come between us. he has to be as brutally honest as i am, about his limitations, you know?

thank the Goddess for the caregivers, and bless them, for putting up with so much shite! if i won the lottery, i'd send Sir on one of those spa cruises, where you get totally pampered to death :)



Phoenix2raven -> RE: "protect the property" (12/16/2007 1:16:00 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Phoenix2raven

So with out getting to long winded or to personal what my submissive is referring to is  about a miscommunication.  I did not mean don't take care of the property. What I meant is be aware of my new limitations by asking can you do this sir. Because I have new physical limitations that hinder me from helping her to get proper rest and have caused a rift in our D/s. The miscommunication we had is because I was unable to give her an immediate answer to my statement which caused her to become fearful. That to me is very understandable because in my experience protect the property is one of the most basic tenants of a D/s relationship. My bad for not explaining my statement immediately so now I'll open my mouth and insert my foot. My new limitations have put a very difficult strain on our relationship. I'm not sure about the wording but it may be something to ask about in another forum post. How is D/s affected when both Dom and sub are disabled and how other Dom's and subs deal with it. 
Thanks, Phoenix 


*raven flies across the forum to hop into Phoenix's lap and kisses him madly!* nice to see you here in black and white, Sir! *giggles* (yes, i'm a silly person.) i understand what he meant now, and have helped him gently remove his foot from his mouth (lest he get foot and mouth disease).

seriously, Sir and i have been talking about this offline and reaching a lot of great compromises and realizations. we're in the same room right now, going through the thread together. it's given me a few smiles and laughs, but also a lot of things to think deeply about. i SO want to be Sir's caregiver, during his time of limitations! it's just my heart speaking, i want to take as good care of him as he does of me. right now we're the blind leading the blind,  but when i try to take care of him, i sometimes overdo it and end up crashed myself. like, we recently moved, and i was so worried about Sir hurting himself that i ended up packing and trying to move wayyyyyy too many boxes, and i'm still recovering from that. which means he has to take more care of me, and it can get to be a vicious cycle.

TMI but i was just complimenting my Sir on how "suave" he looked last night when we went out to dinner together, and right after i said the word "suave," he belched quite loudly. that's what i'm sayin'! suave, baby!

*stop me now or i'll smarm up the whole forum with silliness*



adoracat -> RE: "protect the property" (12/16/2007 2:01:21 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ghitaPVH

I am so glad Im not the only one with a sword near my bed. you have no idea how greatly this has helped me feel more..normal....


two knives in the bedside table
two swords in the bedroom, by the door
two swords in the hall closet

:)

kitten, who needs to check on how sharp they are, its been a while...



adoracat -> RE: "protect the property" (12/16/2007 2:17:25 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Phoenix2raven

quote:

ORIGINAL: Phoenix2raven

So with out getting to long winded or to personal what my submissive is referring to is  about a miscommunication.  I did not mean don't take care of the property. What I meant is be aware of my new limitations by asking can you do this sir. Because I have new physical limitations that hinder me from helping her to get proper rest and have caused a rift in our D/s. The miscommunication we had is because I was unable to give her an immediate answer to my statement which caused her to become fearful. That to me is very understandable because in my experience protect the property is one of the most basic tenants of a D/s relationship. My bad for not explaining my statement immediately so now I'll open my mouth and insert my foot. My new limitations have put a very difficult strain on our relationship. I'm not sure about the wording but it may be something to ask about in another forum post. How is D/s affected when both Dom and sub are disabled and how other Dom's and subs deal with it. 
Thanks, Phoenix 


*raven flies across the forum to hop into Phoenix's lap and kisses him madly!* nice to see you here in black and white, Sir! *giggles* (yes, i'm a silly person.) i understand what he meant now, and have helped him gently remove his foot from his mouth (lest he get foot and mouth disease).

seriously, Sir and i have been talking about this offline and reaching a lot of great compromises and realizations. we're in the same room right now, going through the thread together. it's given me a few smiles and laughs, but also a lot of things to think deeply about. i SO want to be Sir's caregiver, during his time of limitations! it's just my heart speaking, i want to take as good care of him as he does of me. right now we're the blind leading the blind,  but when i try to take care of him, i sometimes overdo it and end up crashed myself. like, we recently moved, and i was so worried about Sir hurting himself that i ended up packing and trying to move wayyyyyy too many boxes, and i'm still recovering from that. which means he has to take more care of me, and it can get to be a vicious cycle.

TMI but i was just complimenting my Sir on how "suave" he looked last night when we went out to dinner together, and right after i said the word "suave," he belched quite loudly. that's what i'm sayin'! suave, baby!

*stop me now or i'll smarm up the whole forum with silliness*



*hugs*  oh YAY for good communication!! 

and i laughed....my mama used to have the same situation with the word "suave"... and my father would belch.  then say "that's me, all 'swave' and 'deboner' "  (rather than suave and debonaire)

kitten, smiling



smilezz -> RE: "protect the property" (12/16/2007 2:19:13 PM)

*chucklez*

Ohhhh if Master were here to reply to this one. LOL!

Seeee ghita, not only do i sleep with Bladez, they are strategically placed around the room, the house, each and every room after that. I also sleep with a weapon next to the bed, i also am at all times Armed. The only time i am not fully armed (on body) is when i am safe in the house or where there is no weapons allowed at that time.


(I'm going on a hijack tangent public service announcement for a moment: I live in a state that allows me to carry a weapon without license as long as it is not concealed...IF you happen to be out in the weeee hours of the morning walking your Dog(s) and they are NOT on a leash and I happen to be coming in the opposite direction and your Dog(s) start charging me...again!...........they WILL get shot. Sooooooo on that note, carry on, thanks for reading, sorry for the hijack, it needed to be said, i said it...blah, blah blah...have a great day)


~smilezz~



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