Attractive as a sub. Not as a domme.

Attractive as a sub. Not as a domme. (Full Version)

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kitttty -> Attractive as a sub. Not as a domme. (12/16/2007 6:35:47 PM)
So, I feel that I might not be very attractive as a domme. I don't know this for a fact, but I feel like there are all sorts of things counting against me. I am 5 ft tall, I weigh only 100 lbs, I have very little money, no car and roommates. I am young and relatively inexperienced. But I somehow felt that many of these things made me attractive as a sub to a man. In some ways I dont even feel comfortable dominating people sometimes. If I want a girl sub, is it bad to be a very small and young woman myself?

LadyHibiscus -> RE: Attractive as a sub. Not as a domme. (12/16/2007 6:40:58 PM)
There is an amazing domme on these boards who is your size. Physical size has nothing to do with domination. If that were the case, how could any of us dominate men, or even women, who were physically stronger? This isn't a rodeo!

Phin -> RE: Attractive as a sub. Not as a domme. (12/16/2007 6:41:51 PM)
everyone has to start somewhere. everyone has to be inexperienced at sometime. some people will not be willing to submit to an inexperienced Dom/me. As far as the money situation, some people feel like they have to have money, some people love the person.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Attractive as a sub. Not as a domme. (12/16/2007 6:43:03 PM)
It's bad if you're trying to get involved with someone who wants a stereotype and not an individual. Now, the money and car thing would legitimately put me off because it shows lack of independence and security for the stage of life that I am at and would expect in a partner. Ask yourself if you're really at the stage in your life to get into a serious relationship or if other things should be taking priority.

MasterFireMaam -> RE: Attractive as a sub. Not as a domme. (12/16/2007 6:44:29 PM)
It's not bad to want what you want. However, let me suggest that what's making you unappealing is your lack of self-acceptance. This can lead to an attitude of a "damsel in distress" which is often appealing to the Rescuer and Knight achetypes. These are very prevalent in men. Basing a relationship on the victim/rescuer dynamic is unhealthy.Work on your selfand you'll find that you'll be more accepted for who you are, not matter what you choose that to be. Master Fire

Level -> RE: Attractive as a sub. Not as a domme. (12/16/2007 6:48:16 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: kitttty So, I feel that I might not be very attractive as a domme. I don't know this for a fact, but I feel like there are all sorts of things counting against me. I am 5 ft tall, I weigh only 100 lbs, I have very little money, no car and roommates. I am young and relatively inexperienced. But I somehow felt that many of these things made me attractive as a sub to a man. In some ways I dont even feel comfortable dominating people sometimes. If I want a girl sub, is it bad to be a very small and young woman myself? If you're genuinely dominant, and enjoy dominating, then being small, young, and poor shouldn't get in your way, unless you let it.

summerblossom -> RE: Attractive as a sub. Not as a domme. (12/16/2007 6:49:25 PM)
i would LOVE to be 100 pounds! appreciate what you have, not what you don't have

kitttty -> RE: Attractive as a sub. Not as a domme. (12/16/2007 6:51:22 PM)
I theoretically prefer dominant partners who are successful because for me success is sexy. Granted, I live in a city and it is common for people not to have cars here and rare for people not to have roommates. But part of the reason I live in the city is because I could not move out to the suburbs as I would need a car and I cannot actually afford one. And I often speak with subs from out of town and they are able to have their own living spaces and vehicles. Thus, I feel like the disadvantaged one. I plan to go to school next year, so I won't be acquiring a car or more money anytime soon. Bummer.

kitttty -> RE: Attractive as a sub. Not as a domme. (12/16/2007 6:55:58 PM)
quote: If you're genuinely dominant, and enjoy dominating, then being small, young, and poor shouldn't get in your way, unless you let it. I never felt it hindered my ability to dominate men since they can almost always expect to have greater physical strength. Many submissive men also value youth and the media ideal of female appearance, just as vanilla men do. But I see that many women prefer older Dommes, taller Dommes- basically Dommes that fulfill what women typically look for in dominant men. I was sad to observe this.

petdave -> RE: Attractive as a sub. Not as a domme. (12/16/2007 6:57:43 PM)
Pff. If you were actually a young, Dominant, 100-lb woman and could prove it, you wouldn't have to worry about being attractive to anybody. You would be amongst the elite, the fractions of a percent, the fantasies. S'lotta doubt for someone who's turning away unwanted suitors [8\|]

kitttty -> RE: Attractive as a sub. Not as a domme. (12/16/2007 6:58:18 PM)
quote: i would LOVE to be 100 pounds! appreciate what you have, not what you don't hav Thanks. It is the case that some women take interest in me because they like smallness. Ot because they like the stereotyped male ideal of physical beauty in women. So, that is good for me.

Level -> RE: Attractive as a sub. Not as a domme. (12/16/2007 6:58:37 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: kitttty quote: If you're genuinely dominant, and enjoy dominating, then being small, young, and poor shouldn't get in your way, unless you let it. I never felt it hindered my ability to dominate men since they can almost always expect to have greater physical strength. Many submissive men also value youth and the media ideal of female appearance, just as vanilla men do. But I see that many women prefer older Dommes, taller Dommes- basically Dommes that fulfill what women typically look for in dominant men. I was sad to observe this. Maybe you could find an older woman, with a kink of being in thrall to a younger woman? Might solve your money issues, at the same time [:)]

kitttty -> RE: Attractive as a sub. Not as a domme. (12/16/2007 7:09:27 PM)
I am talking to a wonderful lady who is late 30s and some kind of ultra loaded european aristocrat with multiple estates. It's fucking hot. I also talk to a seriously hot lesbian stripper. It's sort of odd being a character of fantasies in real life. Not to sound silly, but I am a very good looking girl with not much else going for me. I don't want to be and Im trying to improve but in the meantime, I want a sub girl who will respect me.

Level -> RE: Attractive as a sub. Not as a domme. (12/16/2007 7:16:01 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: kitttty I am talking to a wonderful lady who is late 30s and some kind of ultra loaded european aristocrat with multiple estates. It's fucking hot. I also talk to a seriously hot lesbian stripper. It's sort of odd being a character of fantasies in real life. Not to sound silly, but I am a very good looking girl with not much else going for me. I don't want to be and Im trying to improve but in the meantime, I want a sub girl who will respect me. Well, just be careful; lots of "ultra loaded European aristorats" are hairy men working at Sonic, if you know what I mean. Or worse, so, use caution. (Assuming the "talking" is online)

kitttty -> RE: Attractive as a sub. Not as a domme. (12/16/2007 7:18:34 PM)
Nope. Phone talking. Speaks English with an accent, and french and italian without one. European lady. Might be a tranny for all I know, but that's fine with me.

kitttty -> RE: Attractive as a sub. Not as a domme. (12/16/2007 7:20:48 PM)
But I did not tell the european lady about my height. The lesbian stripper knows and she dislikes it. Major road block.

Level -> RE: Attractive as a sub. Not as a domme. (12/16/2007 7:26:38 PM)
This stuff takes time, so, don't get discouraged.

petdave -> RE: Attractive as a sub. Not as a domme. (12/16/2007 7:27:09 PM)
Okay, we're gonna need to get a lot more explicit if this is gonna qualify as wanking material... i'm still too stuck in the eye-rolling stage to really get in to it. [:'(]

kitttty -> RE: Attractive as a sub. Not as a domme. (12/16/2007 7:32:17 PM)
Yes. I expect it will take some time to form a good relationship. Took me enough years to find my Dom. quote: Okay, we're gonna need to get a lot more explicit if this is gonna qualify as wanking material... i'm still too stuck in the eye-rolling stage to really get in to it Roll your eyes at what?

petdave -> RE: Attractive as a sub. Not as a domme. (12/16/2007 8:08:21 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: kitttty quote: Okay, we're gonna need to get a lot more explicit if this is gonna qualify as wanking material... i'm still too stuck in the eye-rolling stage to really get in to it Roll your eyes at what? The "well, the Older, Wealthy European Aristocrat thinks I'm hot, but the stripper thinks I may be too short for her, so Am I Hot Or Not??" bit. If a wealthy older woman was hot for your bod, would you be all worried about your hotness? No. You'd be seducing her, and to hell with us. You broke the whole suspension of disbelief deal without a single long, thick, studded dildo being rammed into a single wet quivering hole. Fail.

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