In person or Online?

In person or Online? (Full Version)

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Jeffff -> In person or Online? (12/17/2007 6:44:05 AM)
Regarding the thread about behavior. In your minds, is there any difference in your expectations between "real life" interaction and the internet? Jeff damn....... I meant to put this in the general bdsm area

camille65 -> RE: In person or Online? (12/17/2007 6:49:58 AM)
In my expectations? No. Hence my ongoing sense of... disappointment in how so many seem to accept that being behind a computer means they can say whatever they want. Usually saying things online they never would offline to someones face. Yes there have been times when I have crossed my personal line but not often and I always regret it. I will admit that I was brought up in a home that emphasized manners and personal communication and I wonder if that made for the difference. shrugs I have no answers for others behavior but I think I will continue to have high expectations simply because that is a part of me.

takenbyjohnr07 -> RE: In person or Online? (12/17/2007 6:50:54 AM)
Good manners and being kind to people knows no bounds. Whether you are who you say you are or not. Behind that screen is a human being presumably with feelings. If a person believes that because this is a forum that they may abuse anyone at anytime for their enjoyment. i feel as sorry for them as the people who condone their behavior.

mnottertail -> RE: In person or Online? (12/17/2007 6:52:07 AM)
I did not read that thread, but I will say that my desire is that there is no difference, that is, that within reason I expect the person to be overall who I think they are in personality, looks and deportment.....of course, there is something lost in translation on the screen, but it shouldn't be so far outta goddam whack that it and the person are unrecognizeable. And yeah, for the most of anyone that I am sparking, I expect to meet.... If I want friends I will get a cockroach. Ron

IrishMist -> RE: In person or Online? (12/17/2007 7:00:11 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Jeffff Regarding the thread about behavior. In your minds, is there any difference in your expectations between "real life" interaction and the internet? Jeff damn....... I meant to put this in the general bdsm area No. I am the same in real life; I hope that other people are to. Notice I did not say 'expectations'. I have no expectations from anyone online; or in real life.

lauren0221 -> RE: In person or Online? (12/17/2007 7:00:35 AM)
I have the same expectations for online interaction as I do in real life. Are they always met? Heck no. I work down at the Pizza Pit And I drive an old Hyundai I still live with my mom and dad I'm 5 foot 3 and overweight I'm a scifi fanatic A mild asthmatic And I've never been to second base But there's whole 'nother me That you need to see Go checkout MySpace 'Cause online I'm out in Hollywood I'm 6 foot 5 and I look damn good I drive a Maserati I'm a black-belt in karate And I love a good glass of wine It turns girls on that I'm mysterious I tell them I don't want nothing serious 'Cause even on a slow day I could have a three way Chat with two women at one time I'm so much cooler online So much cooler online

KatyLied -> RE: In person or Online? (12/17/2007 7:11:49 AM)
quote: my desire is that there is no difference, that is, that within reason I expect the person to be overall who I think they are in personality, looks and deportment.....of course, there is something lost in translation on the screen I agree with this. Yes, there are things lost in translation. And sometimes there are people who tend to assume certain personalities on message boards that aren't exactly how they are in real life. My hope would be that a person is genuine, in whatever form that takes for them. I know this is not always the case. And seriously, you can't know the entirety of a person from what they post on a message board, you need to talk, spend time, to really know/understand another.

toservez -> RE: In person or Online? (12/17/2007 9:13:15 AM)
No I have no different expectations. I think most people go online and live in a vacuum then get upset when they see less then perfect behavior and maybe more importantly expect to get better treatment or consideration from groups and types of different people then you might normally get in real life. That younger and more attractive woman online is still just not going to be that interested in that way older out of shape man because she calls herself submissive and he calls himself dominant. The fact is in real life there are plenty of rude, inconsiderate, game players, and liars. Plenty of real life interactions with the same issues of not being serious, flirting with no intention, gross misrepresentations and all other things you see in cyber. The difference is in real life these are more found in the non verbal queues or easier to spot. In cyber they are just hidden easier.

lauren0221 -> RE: In person or Online? (12/17/2007 9:56:56 AM)
A more serious answer - even with the best of intentions, we humans can tend to idealize someone we have never met. Even if someone is not deliberately misrepresenting themselves, misunderstandings can occur. It is much easier to be the perfect submissive, or perfect Dominant online. There are no physical limitations, no problems with online toilet seats being left up or down, no concerns about how much cyber money someone overspent and for what, etc etc. I do my very best to be who I am, whether online or in person. And no matter how strong the attraction and connection may seem online, there is no guarantee it will translate to real life.

eevin -> RE: In person or Online? (12/17/2007 10:05:05 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: camille65 In my expectations? No. Hence my ongoing sense of... disappointment in how so many seem to accept that being behind a computer means they can say whatever they want. Usually saying things online they never would offline to someones face. For me, there's a freedom of anomity on line that allows me to say things that, IRL, i'm just too shy or worried about hurting someone's feelings to utter. But i still don't act mean or say these things TO that person. Its just a way to vent frustrating energy to get out what i'm feeling all twisted up inside about.

CalifChick -> RE: In person or Online? (12/17/2007 11:25:51 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Jeffff Regarding the thread about behavior. In your minds, is there any difference in your expectations between "real life" interaction and the internet? No Jeff, my expectations are the same. I still expect you to send flowers on my birthday. And chocolates. The good ones, not the garbage they sell at the dollar store. And a pretty new toy... and... I should stop now. [:D] I am the same here as in real life. The internet doesn't give me any more courage to say things I wouldn't normally say, because I'm normally that outspoken and direct anyway. However, I don't expect anyone else to be the same way. I expect that on the internet they are more direct, more forthright, more courageous and less "flawed" than in real life. If I'm wrong, then it's just a bonus. If I'm right, then I'm not surprised. Cali

sexyred1 -> RE: In person or Online? (12/17/2007 11:56:39 AM)
Jefff, You cannot expect anything from people; people are simply fascinating creatures who are bound to behave in a myriad of ways. You can only expect certain things from yourself and be the judge of your own behavior. I am a very outspoken and honest woman, I also tend to be quick with a comment, and some think I am a sparkling wit while others find me bitchy. Do I care? Not a whit. Why? Because those I am interested in communicating with, I believe I will find my common ground with, the old saying that water seeks its level is as true online as it is in real life meetings. Are there some people who portray themselves differently online and hide behind the monitor? Sure enough. But it is usually clear enough when you read enough postings from particular people. The leveling factor for me is consistency. If someone posts in a consistent manner I can tell alot about them (only whatever they are putting forward of course since none of us know a thing about each other until we meet or talk in person). What I detest with every fiber of my being though are hypocrites, those posters who cry foul over others who disagree with them or do not post the way they would like. Which is fine except for the transparently veiled insults they try to invest their cries of "oh look how mean and horrible everyone online is, why can't we all just be gentle and courteous to each other because I have such thin skin and I am so insecure I have to cry out to the world that I am _______ every other day". That both amuses and disgusts me, but again, I have no expectations of anyone online or off line. Only of myself and I set those expectations pretty high.

girlygurl -> RE: In person or Online? (12/17/2007 12:00:13 PM)
My communication in person and online are pretty much the same. If I were to meet someone they'd see the same silliness, they read online. Yes, I have a serious side and even a sincere side... but it's all the same on and off the computer. Oh wait... there's also the nasty slutty side too, but I don't share her with everyone [:D] girly

wisteriaV -> RE: In person or Online? (12/17/2007 12:35:14 PM)
I don't have expectations from anyone online at all. They can be nice or proper pricks or some margin of grey between the two. I can always shut off the computer and ignore the net. My interactions with people in " real time" is completely opposite. I have expections of at least common manners from those folks I interact with in person. My standards for myself are quite a bit higher and what Master expects of me goes a tad bit more above that.

IrishMist -> RE: In person or Online? (12/17/2007 12:44:01 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: girlygurl My communication in person and online are pretty much the same. If I were to meet someone they'd see the same silliness, they read online. Yes, I have a serious side and even a sincere side... but it's all the same on and off the computer. Oh wait... there's also the nasty slutty side too, but I don't share her with everyone [:D] girly Well fiddlefuck. Come on....you can share....[:D]

sexyred1 -> RE: In person or Online? (12/17/2007 12:45:33 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: IrishMist quote: ORIGINAL: girlygurl My communication in person and online are pretty much the same. If I were to meet someone they'd see the same silliness, they read online. Yes, I have a serious side and even a sincere side... but it's all the same on and off the computer. Oh wait... there's also the nasty slutty side too, but I don't share her with everyone [:D] girly Well fiddlefuck. Come on....you can share....[:D] Ya gotta love a girl who uses the word fiddlefuck in a sentence! [:D]

IrishMist -> RE: In person or Online? (12/17/2007 12:48:30 PM)
quote: Ya gotta love a girl who uses the word fiddlefuck in a sentence! [:D] LMAO my teenager one day, accidently said that. She meant to say fiddlesticks and it came out fiddlefuck. LMAO It kind of stuck with me.

MasterFireMaam -> RE: In person or Online? (12/17/2007 12:53:17 PM)
No, not really. I am, however, often disappointed with how those on the internet fall so much shorter of my expectations than people in person at a lifestyle function. Perhaps this is why I have, as of yet, to have a successful relationship begin online. Master Fire

DesFIP -> RE: In person or Online? (12/17/2007 1:09:48 PM)
I don't walk around having expectations of others either in r/l or online. If I did, imagine how disappointed I would be all the time. I hope to meet people in both venues that are self aware, mannerly, kind, and caring. And I am always happy when such a hope comes true.

eyesopened -> RE: In person or Online? (12/18/2007 2:36:59 AM)
The problem with online communication is that the reader will tend to read from their point of view or their mood at the time and that may not match the writer's point of view or mood when writing. Without body language or other nuance it's easier to misundertand the meaning of written words. Perhaps i don't communicate as well in writing as other people. i find it much easier to commincate in person than on line. Beacuse of that, i tend to be more forgiving of what people write, and try not to read my own mood into other people's words.

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