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10 Things to ponder going into 2008... - 12/17/2007 10:38:04 AM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
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*Number 10*

Life is sexually transmitted.

*Number 9*

*Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

*Number 8*
*Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.

*Number 7*
*Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day, teach a person to use the INTERNET and
they won't bother you for weeks.

*Number 6*
Some people are like a Slinky ...Not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile
when you shove them down the stairs.

*Number 5*
*Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

*Number 4*
All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to Criticism.

*Number 3*
Why does a slight tax increase cost you $200.00 and a substantial tax cut saves you $30.00?

*Number 2*
In the 60s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

*And The Number 1 Thought For 2008*

We know exactly where one cow with Mad-cow-disease is located among millions and millions of cows in America but we haven't got a clue as to where millions of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of Immigration .

!~HAPPY NEW YEAR~!

beth & Merc

Post #: 1

RE: 10 Things to ponder going into 2008... - 12/17/2007 12:04:19 PM

chellekitty

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Joined: 3/27/2005
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quote:

We know exactly where one cow with Mad-cow-disease is located among millions and millions of cows in America but we haven't got a clue as to where millions of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of Immigration .

i read this to my mom, and she said and i quote... "can't you just see millions of immigrants wondering around with tags in their ears?"

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Post #: 2

RE: 10 Things to ponder going into 2008... - 12/17/2007 4:46:11 PM

Saratov

Posts: 1716
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What's wrong with that idea?

(in reply to chellekitty)

Post #: 3

RE: 10 Things to ponder going into 2008... - 12/17/2007 4:48:12 PM

Sirandlil1

Posts: 272
Joined: 8/15/2007
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10 smiles is a great way to start the New Year....thank you

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Post #: 4

RE: 10 Things to ponder going into 2008... - 12/17/2007 6:19:24 PM

girlygurl

Posts: 6973
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Thank you that was funny.

girly

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Post #: 5

RE: 10 Things to ponder going into 2008... - 12/17/2007 6:26:32 PM

SeeksOnlyOne

Posts: 2012
Joined: 5/14/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

*Number 8*
*Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich. years ago a dear friend told me the secret to men......full belly and empty balls makes a happy man....and in so many ways, it is that simple........course in so many ways it aint some days too-lol

*Number 2*
In the 60s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal. i have the type of migraine that causes you to see these gorgeous flashing prisms of light.....takes about an hour to go all the way across my field of vision. when i had the first one, well, saying it freaked me out would be putting it mildly. after it happening a couple more times, i went to dr's and ended with a neurologist that i bet is an old hippie. after he assured me it wasnt dangerous and at least wasnt the painful one, i told him the circle of life is amazing. 20 years ago i spent money to see such pretty colors and now im spending money to make them go away...

*And The Number 1 Thought For 2008*

We know exactly where one cow with Mad-cow-disease is located among millions and millions of cows in America but we haven't got a clue as to where millions of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of Immigration . amen

!~HAPPY NEW YEAR~!
beth & Merc

but i loved them all-those just made me laugh the hardest... some laughter with genuine amusement, and in the case of #1, irony i think

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Post #: 6

RE: 10 Things to ponder going into 2008... - 12/17/2007 6:28:19 PM

SeeksOnlyOne

Posts: 2012
Joined: 5/14/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: chellekitty

quote:

We know exactly where one cow with Mad-cow-disease is located among millions and millions of cows in America but we haven't got a clue as to where millions of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of Immigration .

i read this to my mom, and she said and i quote... "can't you just see millions of immigrants wondering around with tags in their ears?"

i reckon to reply to that with"maybe thats what the dots in the middle of their foreheads are for" would be kinda non pc huh?

edited to add i think id like your mom-lol

< Message edited by SeeksOnlyOne -- 12/17/2007 6:30:16 PM >

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it aint no good til it hurts just a little bit....jimmy somerville

in those moments of solitude, does everyone sometimes think they are insane? or is it just me?

(in reply to chellekitty)

Post #: 7

RE: 10 Things to ponder going into 2008... - 12/17/2007 9:06:27 PM

laurell3

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That's great, thanks and happy new year!

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(in reply to Mercnbeth)

Post #: 8

RE: 10 Things to ponder going into 2008... - 12/17/2007 10:41:49 PM

rukna

Posts: 204
Joined: 12/13/2006
From: Bangalore
Status: offline

love them

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Post #: 9

RE: 10 Things to ponder going into 2008... - 12/18/2007 2:10:54 PM

vampchick88

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Joined: 4/10/2007
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#8 was my fav...but what if the guy is asks for a sandwich and has a hard on? Do you feed or fuck him first?

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Post #: 10

RE: 10 Things to ponder going into 2008... - 12/18/2007 3:29:48 PM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: vampchick88

#8 was my fav...but what if the guy is asks for a sandwich and has a hard on? Do you feed or fuck him first?

Well, since you asked; I think the answer is obvious...

You make the sandwich hand it to him along with a beer and let him use your head as a coaster while you give him a BJ.

(in reply to vampchick88)

Post #: 11

RE: 10 Things to ponder going into 2008... - 12/19/2007 7:00:03 PM

chellekitty

Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SeeksOnlyOne

i reckon to reply to that with"maybe thats what the dots in the middle of their foreheads are for" would be kinda non pc huh?

not non-pc, just ignorant...the only people with the dots in the middle of their foreheads are Hindi's....and they are the least of our problems...i believe it is the Arabic and illigal Mexicans/Cubans/fill-in-your-favorite-love-to-hate-hispanic-ethnicity that people have problems with

_____________________________

One thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve. ~Albert Schweitzer

(in reply to SeeksOnlyOne)

Post #: 12

RE: 10 Things to ponder going into 2008... - 12/25/2007 6:29:38 PM

Griswold

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Joined: 2/12/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

quote:

ORIGINAL: vampchick88

#8 was my fav...but what if the guy is asks for a sandwich and has a hard on? Do you feed or fuck him first?

Well, since you asked; I think the answer is obvious...

You make the sandwich hand it to him along with a beer and let him use your head as a coaster while you give him a BJ.

Now THAT is a thinking man!

(in reply to Mercnbeth)

Post #: 13

RE: 10 Things to ponder going into 2008... - 12/25/2007 10:32:23 PM

rubberpet

Posts: 1743
Joined: 4/6/2006
From: The Land of Voodoo
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Griswold

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

quote:

ORIGINAL: vampchick88

#8 was my fav...but what if the guy is asks for a sandwich and has a hard on? Do you feed or fuck him first?

Well, since you asked; I think the answer is obvious...

You make the sandwich hand it to him along with a beer and let him use your head as a coaster while you give him a BJ.

Now THAT is a thinking man!

That may be a thinking man, but he would surely be a dead one if he tried that with Vampchick88! LOL She isn't any ordinary Domme, boys. That girl would take the plate the sandwich is resting on and crack you upside the head with it, take that beer can and shove it up your ass with a steeltoe boot, and watch you writhe in pain as She ate the sandwich, laughing at you!

Ahhh, gotta love Her! She's psycho, but cute...so it all balances out!

< Message edited by rubberpet -- 12/25/2007 10:33:02 PM >

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Collared and devoted property of Mistress Lorelei (vampchick88) as of 3/26/08.

Rubberpet - The Resident Anti-Subby and mysterious shadowy figure known as Voodoo, proud hitman and wiseguy for the Subby Mafia.

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Post #: 14

RE: 10 Things to ponder going into 2008... - 12/26/2007 12:51:30 AM

BiteGirl

Posts: 293
Joined: 4/27/2006
Status: offline

I loved this one:
Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

(in reply to rubberpet)

Post #: 15

RE: 10 Things to ponder going into 2008... - 12/27/2007 4:56:47 PM

HypnoticDan

Posts: 463
Joined: 5/23/2007
Status: offline

if he has a hardon and is asking for a sandwhich you make it with a bagel because he's planning to fuck it.

(in reply to BiteGirl)

Post #: 16

RE: 10 Things to ponder going into 2008... - 1/5/2008 5:26:55 PM

Hanable

Posts: 3284
Joined: 3/19/2007
From: BFE ohio
Status: offline

lol all very true... and chelle.. i agree with ur mom.. that would make them easer to find as well.

H >:)

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Post #: 17

RE: 10 Things to ponder going into 2008... - 1/7/2008 11:55:47 PM

tsatske

Posts: 2037
Joined: 3/9/2007
From: Louisville, KY
Status: offline

*Number 8*
*Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.

Good Lord, if I followed this advice, Master would die of starvation, and then where would I be?

(in reply to Hanable)

Post #: 18

RE: 10 Things to ponder going into 2008... - 1/8/2008 12:38:42 PM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
Status: offline

~ Add these 8 simple solutions to every day problems ~

1. If you are choking on an ice cube simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat. Presto! The blockage will instantly remove itself.
2. Avoid cutting yourself slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold while you chop. 3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink.
4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.
5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.
6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.
7. You only need two tools in life - WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape. 8. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

(in reply to tsatske)

Post #: 19

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