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BondageSlaveMN -> RE: If you were 18 years old now. (12/18/2007 1:55:20 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: AAkasha
Thanks to the Internet, all someone has to do is google a few terms and they are inundated with a lot more information than they could imagine. What does this mean for young people who are kinky? Most say it's a good thing - after all, having information, and knowing you are "ok" is a good thing. But what about the types of content out there and how you view it and interpret it?
Using myself as an example, I was tying up the opposite sex as soon as I was old enough to date. There was no internet around that time. I knew I liked bondage when I saw it on TV. I had never seen pornography, though. I think I was babysitting and saw a few issues of "FORUM" magazine and read some of the stories, and found the sex stuff and kink to be kind of odd, but not that titilating. All I had available to me at that time was the college library where my brother attended, as I sometimes went with him to have access to more selection than was at my public library. Through research I landed upon some articles in texts like "Journal of Sexuality" and the works of deSade and Sacher-Masoch, but this was all a bit overwhelming; after all, I just liked to tie guys up. I was still a virgin. The idea of "kinky sex" was -- well, weird, and did not seem too *normal* to me. I imagine, now, what would have happened if I had done that same research on today's Internet. WHAM. I would have been really overwhelmed. Would I have decided it was sick and twisted? Would I have thought that kinky people were freaks and weirdos? I had very limited experience to go on, after all. I knew what I liked was exciting, but I knew that *reading about* what some kinky people did seemed awfully twisted and odd.
The only reason I didn't start suffering from fear, self loathing and depression was because I was well adjusted and not that worried that something was wrong with me. I didn't want to do *that stuff* after all, I was just happy with my little bondage games. And, I thought, deep down, I would probably grow out of it. Remember, I was still a virgin.
It wasn't until my sexuality evolved that I got less freaked out by some of the ideas and imagery (granted, I did not SEE most of it, I read about it) and more comfortable with it, but still, I took it all in baby steps. I also know that by self experimentation, at my own pace, with guys I dated, I sort of followed a path that felt natural, and there was no expectation of what I was supposed to do. Kink, to me, seems presented in a very "this is how you do it," way on the net. The materials I had access to didn't say how you did it, or what you labeled it. And there were so few materials available, anyway.
I don't know what would have happened to me if I had the Internet instead of the library, and I had "help" rather than just did it on my own and did what felt comfortable and natural. I also don't know what would happen to me if I had met a "submissive" (with more experience than me) to tell me how to do it, vs. just gradually exploring with boyfriends that found it odd, exciting, and at least worth a try - but, were along for the ride, and not there to tell me how or what to do.
I wonder what risk there is of new, younger people (or, new people in general) getting so inundated with imagery and messages that they can't find their own sexual identity. I went through a period of time that I completely dismissed all BDSM erotica, both written and visual, as useless to me. It wasn't until I discovered gay male bdsm (in the form of the magazine, "Bound and Gagged") that I realized as a female with toppish bondage fetishes, there did exist some erotica that would appeal to me. I found het BDSM porn to be objectifying and silly, and it held no erotic appeal for me. What if that had been all I had to base my early investigations on? I was better off trying to fumble through "Venus in Furs."
Is the Internet a good thing for someone who is trying to find out what their urges really mean?
Akasha
The Internet has become a powerful tool in the modern era. While my previous remark is stating the rather obvious, I don't feel that most people grasp the gravity of such a statement. As with any tool, it has the ability to be used for both good and bad. The most powerful the tool, the greater it's capacity to inflict harm or do good.
Think of capital punishment. The implementation of such an institution has been both beneficial (arguably) and harmful. Some innocent persons have died because of capital punishment; some crimes have been prevented.
The Internet has become, one might argue, the most powerful tool available in society today. It has the power to absolutely corrupt minds. It has the power to give unfettered access to the most vile and grievous information. With a few key strokes, you can be well on your way to synthesizing methamphetamine or constructing a bomb. Remember, knowledge is power.
The Internet also has the ability to promote growth and nurture a curious mind. It has the ability to help youth who are lost in questions of their own sexuality. I know the Internet has personally helped me to come a lot closer to accepting who I am.
But, despite the Internet's great capacity for good, I feel as though it is under the grasp of those who promote evil. Type a BDSM query into your favorite search engine and you are bound to be drowned in pornographic results. Is this the kind of information that will be nurturing to a curious impressionable mind? Of course not. Perhaps some youth will be able to take this information in stride and ultimately be unharmed, but I think the majority will suffer injury. Viewing porn is not going to help a person come to terms with themselves.
Lastly, consider the capability of the Internet to put two persons in contact with one another. Consider how many sexual predators lurk on the Internet. What a calamitous scene.
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