quote:

ORIGINAL: xBullx

Greetings,

I glanced at this thread in passing initially and didn't think much about it; but then curiosity struck and I came back to see the responses more so than the question. That in itself provoked a response of my own.

I thought I’d share a Gorean perspective for consideration. Not to prove any point but rather to offer a perspective.

If I met any of you on the street; at no point would I attempt to determine your lifestyle choices, appearances can be deceiving; the first thing that attracts me to someone are those lustful traits. It has to be a female, that's personal preference; a set of long legs and a nice ass always gets my attention, tits are nice, but a fine ass always wins my interest. Now this would be the same whether I was walking down the street, whether I was at a Gorean gathering, or any other alternative lifestyle event. I don't believe that vanilla is a choice as much as an ignorance to what is out there. If a submissive is in the company of a dominant they feel a connection to and the dominant has any desire to command this creature, well the sub will most certainly follow whatever path the dominant beast takes. But the physical appearance is simply the initial attraction, the at first glance thing, even though there is much more to the for your eyes only effect. Beware of those that cast deceptive motives.

I'll bore you in a sec with some of our Gorean philosophy so you understand what I see when I look at a girl, no matter the physical location. Hell it could be with a simple cashier at the Mall. When I see a girl that is physically attractive, I might test her with a hard stare, a playful gesture, some very direct discourse or a casual wink and then observe her reaction. This will divulge a great deal about her receptive nature and in part, her personality. You can't always tell who the truly devoted submissive is versus the Venus Flytraps simply by observing their attire or sometimes deceptive facade. Tons of females wear overly revealing clothes and yet you actually find some very remarkable wenches dressed in deceptively conservative clothing. So it’s all in the response to a man's initial contact with her. In other words, it's all in the eyes, that gets the ball rolling or not.

I love the bashful, yet curious look in response to a subtle stare. A girl with manners that isn't simply being courteous do to a job is a big attraction. How gracefully she moves and the effort she puts into herself, with regards to her appearance. So many girls want the easy to manage hairstyle. To me that can demonstrates a lazy nature. Do you ever look at the background in the photos of the girls here on CM, or when you meet a girl and you might get to see her car. Is it full of junk? I love long flowing, silky smooth hair that demonstrates personal pride. Be it straight or wavy. I like natural women. Clothing that is actually concealing yet still affords her natural shape to the man's visual pleasure is more alluring for me. I like a woman that embraces her nature, yet leaves the degree she will reveal it publicly to her "master". The, I am all woman and want to be taken and discovered by him, yet not just any him is most attractive to me.

I like all nature of the female beasts, but I seem to favor the girl that is somewhat afraid to discover the truth she knows is there, yet longs desperately to find a man that will selfishly unleash it, use and make it his own.

Now for the Gorean philosophy part, I hope I don’t put anyone to sleep, but it helps understand what we or at least I think; they have been running a couple good threads about this in the Gorean section lately. Within all of us lies the whole spectrum from submissive to dominant. Our nature and DNA tend to effect what we feel most comfortable as. In that the old saying “be that which you” are comes to play. For example, in moments of emergency a powerful dominant could quite possibly shudder and tremble in submission to save its life; or an intent submissive can rise to dominance to preserve life. Neither would be comfortable maintaining this on a long term basis, but in rare circumstances, necessity is the mother of invention.

I tend to be in casual observation an average dominant male, I have my specific preferences I mentioned, but it is my belief that when I am faced with the average submissive female, the more dominant I am the more submissive she will become and in return the degree of submission that she reflects inspires an even greater degree of domination in me. There will be natural and nurture effects from both sides, but in the end the nature that she is most comfortable achieving and the same for myself will shine through, that is if neither of us deny our nature.

Imagine a gas gage scale, half full being your middle ground, half submissive, and half dominant. For the sake of pecking order the average dominant is the 3/4 full mark, and the average submissive is the 1/4 full mark. The more or less one person is to the other, will cause the tanks to adjust, the amount of fluid must remain constant. So if the dominant is only a 5/8ths dominant, the submissive tank must rise to 3/8ths or the tanks will be inconsistent. That is the first thing to avoid; the second is if you are uncomfortable with the level you must operate at. That will ultimately very with every person you meet. I have a wife that is comfortable operating at a 3/8ths and I in turn operate at 5/8ths with her. My ideal slave would be more 1/16 to my 15/16ths. But again that would depend on the girl. I might be willing to alter it a slight degree one way or the other. It's about creating harmony with who you are, and who they are. Not fighting to be something we are not. And the crazy thing is that everyone you meet will alter the level in your tank.

So just go out there and live and if you are honest with yourself and you find people that are the same, you will be attracted to a lot more than you realize. Open your minds and your hearts to limits untold. Use the lifestyles to find likeminded folk, not simply to limit the scope of who you encounter. Remember the Breakfast Club, within each one of us is a Princess, a Flake, a Nerd, a Jock, a Criminal and a Kinkster....OK they left out kinkster, but that is always implied isn't it.

This seemed like a good thread to inspires some rational thought and discourse....take it or leave it.

Live well,

Bull

quote:

ORIGINAL: sodsta

A quick question...

If you are submissive, and you meet someone new, do they become more attractive to you when you find out they are Dominant? Or, say, you're friends with someone, on a fairly casual level, and you've never viewed them in a sexual light before - do they suddenly develop a certain sexual appeal when you discover they are a Dom/me?

The same question goes for Dominants who meet someone new and find out they are a submissive. Does this change your perception of them? And does that person become more attractive to you when you discover this?