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RE: why do we serve? - 12/18/2007 1:02:09 PM

chellekitty

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FR to multiple people...

the.dark. : i completely agree that service is not exclusive to s-types, i appologize if my OP came off as that way, i tried not to have it seem to....rewards for D-types could be continuation of service from the submissive and "thank you's" amongst other things, and punishments could be removals of those things...if a D-type feared that if he did not provide service for his or her s-type, then they would retract their service, personally i don't think that would be a very healthy dynamic for me...however i can see that others would need an equal give and take in their relationship...

juliaoceana : yes, i was struggling to put that into words....the difference is that my D-type decides what shape my service takes....and i like this quote...can i borrow it....

quote:

Service is a human thing, not a D/s one in my mind

sweetnurseBBW : i, like you, need structure and control...service is one of the many ways i get it...and personally, if i am punished while i am providing service (because i didn't do it "right" or "fast enough", etc) it makes me not want to serve at all, and that ends a relationship, really quick...

thanks for all the replies, sorry for not replying to all personally
chelle

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One thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve. ~Albert Schweitzer

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RE: why do we serve? - 12/18/2007 1:26:48 PM

Gardenista

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Switching the focus of our D/s relationship from a more service-oriented style to one based on authority and plain obedience was actually a compromise I had to make with my husband. I really do enjoy serving, waiting on him hand and foot, anticipating his wants, etc, but it turned out he found that to be annoying. It was his suggestion that I re-frame the concept of service and turn it more towards the household, rather then him in particular. By following his authority and leadership, I serve our common goals.

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RE: why do we serve? - 12/18/2007 7:32:28 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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I will just highlight what others have said- service is something good people do to help their world to make it better for all involved. The best masters I've known tend to be the first ones to volunteer to serve.

For some people it's like masochism- they get a direct happy experience from service. For other it's practical- service makes things better and easier. For others it's an indirect pathway to an overall happiness in their relationship. And other reasons, and any combination therein.

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RE: why do we serve? - 12/18/2007 7:38:57 PM

Wildfleurs

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Joined: 9/24/2004
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I serve because I like to be of practical value to my owner - I like to be able to provide him with base practical things that make his life run smoother. I enjoy the feeling of satisfaction when I'm able to provide service and see the results from it.

C~

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RE: why do we serve? - 12/18/2007 7:50:25 PM

daddyncherry

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quote:

ORIGINAL: chellekitty

1) there is a need that needs to be filled, something that needs to be done - that is it, nothing more

This is defintiely something that works for me...if he needs something done, or i notice that something needs to be done then that is enough.

quote:

ORIGINAL: chellekitty
2) there is a reward for filling that need...

This is definitely a motivating factor....the good girl, or thank you or hug or a smile from my Daddy are some of the best things in the world to me.

quote:

ORIGINAL: chellekitty
3) there is a punishment for not filling that need....

In our relationship there really aren't punishments...though feeling i have disappointed in fullfilling a need i guess is punishment enough....i have lived a vanilla existence with a domineering guy where there were punishments (verbal/mental abuse) for failing even the smallest thing and all that did was crush me. Sure i tried harder to please, but because i wanted to avoid the tirade.

quote:

ORIGINAL: chellekitty
edited to add: after reading some of the responses, by reward i mean something external, whether it is tangible or non-tangible, anything from a "good girl" to a hug to a spanking....not included in reward are internal feel good feelings that we create after having done something fulfilling...

Ahhh ya had to go and add THAT part in LOL...that is one of the best parts about serving, aside from making my Master happy which is the best...sometimes i don't really know for sure how he feels (excepet absence of telling me it was wrong) and all i can do is go with the fact that i enjoyed the hell out of doing it for him....those warm gushy feelings inside while i am doing it.

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cherry

Walking through life, and fear with a smile on my face.
Walking directly through the eye of the hurricane...and through to the other side..without fear....realizing everything will be okay. :)

being obedient 1day at a time

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RE: why do we serve? - 12/18/2007 10:19:32 PM

juliaoceania

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quote:

juliaoceana : yes, i was struggling to put that into words....the difference is that my D-type decides what shape my service takes....and i like this quote...can i borrow it....

Feel free to

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RE: why do we serve? - 12/18/2007 11:00:07 PM

ownedgirlie

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I need to be useful, and to be managed. I need to love and give completely. The ways I express myself (love, gratitude, desire) are in giving of myself in unconventional ways. My Master takes and receives what I have a burning need to give. Nothing makes me happier than his satisfaction. I can see it in his face, and that is reward enough.

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Post #: 27