RE: Marrying your Dominant

RE: Marrying your Dominant (Full Version)

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SirJohnMandevill -> RE: Marrying your Dominant (12/18/2007 5:39:27 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LaTigresse Just don't forget the legal "benefits" of divorce before you marry..........[:D] Ah, yes. Something I still have to face down the road.[sm=ugh.gif] My .02 zlotys: The chances are pretty good that when I do find someone for a LTR, she'll be old enough to have gone through the divorce mill herself once or twice. Since I hope to find a strong, intelligent submissive, she'll also likely have her own career. Under those circumstances, we might agree that a piece of state-sanctioned paper is unnecessary. But I also would have no qualms about marrying a woman that I truly love. Those last two words, of course, are the 800-pound Godzilla in the room.... Les (Purveyor of Fine, Handcrafted Kink) Les

bestbabync -> RE: Marrying your Dominant (12/18/2007 5:56:42 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Prinsexx quote: ORIGINAL: takenbyjohnr07 if you are not married to each other do you want to be? This of course assuming that you are in a real time healthy and loving relationship.Or do you think it would take your current relationship in a different direction that you don't want to go in. . Marriage is a construct about which there used to be clear and definite agreements. In some cultures there still are: processes (arranged for example), rituals (engagement for example), dowry (let's not forget that one) and sanctions (divorce equals homelessness for example). Perhaps here, this forum being what it is...a collarme opinion exchange, we have already let go of the consensus about marriage and I ASSUME WE HAVE A MORE CLEAR CONCEPT OF WHAT BDSM MEANS THAN THE TERM MARRIAGE. WHERE THE TWO CONSTRUCTS COLLIDE, OR MERGE, OR EXCLUDE that is where the individual issues reside. (Sorry not shouting, caps lock inadvertently on and I am too tired to re-type....) I have been married three times and still equate marriage with vanilla life. I still equate marriage with power over rather than exchange. I am still referred to as 'Mrs' in both casual and official dialogues about the children. I am exhausted by saying I am no longer married so I don't bother. I don't know if I ever want to marry again. To me there would be no benefits to it other than financial ones and since I am completely financially independent I really don't see the point. As to D/s: that dynamic has always held more meaning for me. Prinsexx, you said it perfectly! i have finally given in to my submissiveness and happier than ever! i have had 2 vanilla marriages and 1 swing lifestyle marriage. not one of them made me happy. what will make me happy is to continue with my new D/s relationship. i feel more joy and happiness now than ever before! happy christmas everyone!

IrishMist -> RE: Marrying your Dominant (12/18/2007 7:20:47 PM)
quote: Nope, and we don't either except for my need for health insurance, which is the only reason we have the piece of paper. Neither of us wear rings, collars, or any symbol of marriage. Hell, we resemble each other enough that he's often taken to be an uncle or much older brother and a few times to be my dad. My point was (read carefully) that once you make the commitment to a relationship marriage becomes nothing but a tool to manage insurance and financial concerns. Hmm now see, that's interesting. We were together ten years; only married for the last year and a half. After the first year, I was on his insurance; he and his kids were on mine. No marriage. The only reason we married was so that when he passed away, I could contest the kids going back to their mother; which I did and won custody. I would not have gotten custody if we had not married.

Wildfleurs -> RE: Marrying your Dominant (12/18/2007 7:45:13 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: takenbyjohnr07 if you are not married to each other do you want to be? This of course assuming that you are in a real time healthy and loving relationship.Or do you think it would take your current relationship in a different direction that you don't want to go in. . I'm not married to him and I like the way things are. My viewpoint may change, but I really do have problems reconciling marrying a slave. C~

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Marrying your Dominant (12/18/2007 7:47:45 PM)
http://www.collarchat.com/m_1302688/mpage_1/key_marriage/tm.htm#1302769 Which means more to you? http://www.collarchat.com/m_664645/mpage_1/key_marriage/tm.htm#664658 Questions regarding marriage and Ds or Ms relationships http://www.collarchat.com/m_576306/mpage_1/key_marriage/tm.htm#576397 Master, boyfriend, husband http://www.collarchat.com/m_83805/mpage_1/key_marriage/tm.htm#83805 Ds love and marriage http://www.collarchat.com/m_132827/mpage_1/key_marriage/tm.htm#132827 bdsm and marriage http://www.collarchat.com/m_239723/mpage_1/key_marriage/tm.htm#239723 Marriage and Ds http://www.collarchat.com/m_247668/mpage_1/key_marriage/tm.htm#247668 Ring or collar, what's the difference? http://www.collarchat.com/m_291606/mpage_1/key_marriage/tm.htm#291606 Marriage and bdsm http://www.collarchat.com/m_455701/mpage_1/key_marriage/tm.htm#455701 Marriage and bdsm lifestyle http://www.collarchat.com/m_466530/mpage_1/key_marriage/tm.htm#466530 Marriage and femdom

smilingjaguar -> RE: Marrying your Dominant (12/18/2007 7:49:31 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: IrishMist Hmm now see, that's interesting. We were together ten years; only married for the last year and a half. After the first year, I was on his insurance; he and his kids were on mine. No marriage. The only reason we married was so that when he passed away, I could contest the kids going back to their mother; which I did and won custody. I would not have gotten custody if we had not married. I got sick pretty quickly and he had good insurance with no pre-existing conditions. We had been together 3 or 4 years at that point. I needed some procedures and surgeries to get better and his employer only provided insurance to wife and child, so we talked it over and decided that we had decided to be together forever anyhow and got married within a few days. I had my procedures done the same week because his employer knew the situation and rushed the paperwork. It didn't change anything in how we lived our lives except that I was no longer gravely ill thanks to the surgery and availability of medical care. It doesn't mean we aren't romantic or don't love each other. It just means in the big picture of our relationship that's all the marriage license is...a piece of paper that allowed me to get insurance. We'd be right where we are regardless of whether I could have gotten the insurance without marrying him or not. About the only time anything related to marriage comes up is when he reminds me I swore to obey...

MzMia -> RE: Marrying your Dominant (12/18/2007 7:54:28 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyChef I can relate. I hope to meet the right submissive man who will eventually become My slave and the future mr.husband/slave. This is also how I feel! Thank you for saying it for me LadyChef~[;)] I will add, I would only consider married to a collared submissive, that had been collared at least 3 years.

kitttty -> RE: Marrying your Dominant (12/18/2007 8:16:14 PM)
I'm obsessed with it. And it causes some problems.

denika -> RE: Marrying your Dominant (12/18/2007 8:38:03 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: takenbyjohnr07 if you are not married to each other do you want to be? This of course assuming that you are in a real time healthy and loving relationship.Or do you think it would take your current relationship in a different direction that you don't want to go in. . We are in a real-time loving and healthy relationship, but we are also married to other's, our partner's opinion and place in our life is paramount and our primary responsiblity. The fact we have each found our mates and each other is something we both feel incredibly lucky and blessed to have. Wolf's denika

SirMichealspeach -> RE: Marrying your Dominant (12/18/2007 8:45:08 PM)
I have been collared to Master for 2 yrs now and we are getting married Dec 30th of this year. I do not forsee anything changing in our D/s life persay. if anything i think it will enhance our D/s relationship. SirMichealspeach

TemptingNviceSub -> RE: Marrying your Dominant (12/18/2007 8:47:49 PM)
I just realized that maybe I need to make marriage a hard limit...too weary to get on that merry go round horse again...[:'(]...Tempting

takenbyjohnr07 -> RE: Marrying your Dominant (12/18/2007 8:57:03 PM)
Congratulations! We are all happy for you. Enjoy!

Rayne58 -> RE: Marrying your Dominant (12/19/2007 2:15:33 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SirMichealspeach I have been collared to Master for 2 yrs now and we are getting married Dec 30th of this year. I do not forsee anything changing in our D/s life persay. if anything i think it will enhance our D/s relationship. SirMichealspeach Sir and I have been married just over a year, and been together for 4. That is how it has worked out for us [:)] Wishing you all the best [sm=flowers.gif]

NakedGirlScout -> RE: Marrying your Dominant (12/19/2007 3:34:10 AM)
My master and I got married right off the bat, due to immigration issues and my needing to sponsor him. Though it was a shotgun wedding, both of us have never been happier in our lives and we don't notice that being married has changed anything except our commitment to one another. Going on strong 2 years now [:D]

IrishMist -> RE: Marrying your Dominant (12/19/2007 5:45:31 AM)
quote: I got sick pretty quickly and he had good insurance with no pre-existing conditions. We had been together 3 or 4 years at that point. I needed some procedures and surgeries to get better and his employer only provided insurance to wife and child, so we talked it over and decided that we had decided to be together forever anyhow and got married within a few days. I had my procedures done the same week because his employer knew the situation and rushed the paperwork. It didn't change anything in how we lived our lives except that I was no longer gravely ill thanks to the surgery and availability of medical care. It doesn't mean we aren't romantic or don't love each other. It just means in the big picture of our relationship that's all the marriage license is...a piece of paper that allowed me to get insurance. We'd be right where we are regardless of whether I could have gotten the insurance without marrying him or not. About the only time anything related to marriage comes up is when he reminds me I swore to obey... Ahhh ok. Our insurance never had the stipulation in it that it had to be 'wife or child'; only that the person had to be under your care for 6 months and that you could show that.

laurell3 -> RE: Marrying your Dominant (12/19/2007 10:03:23 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: kitttty I'm obsessed with it. And it causes some problems. Yes you are, but you're starting to recognize it and that's a good step.

MasterFireMaam -> RE: Marrying your Dominant (12/20/2007 12:04:13 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: domiguy I don't think that someone in their twenties is quite ready to take the step of marriage.....Or maybe that was just me. CL, I think it would greatly behoove you to wait a substantial time after graduation and not to be in such a rush. What could possibly be the hurry? From experience: getting married young CAN work...but it often doesn't. It really depends on the people involved and the circumstances of the relationship. I was 18 when I married the first time. I think it worked for as long as it did (decade) because we didn't actually live together for more than six months at a time. I'd go back to school or he'd go out to sea. But, it DID work. We made decent decisions like keeping me in school and not even thinking about kids until he was retired (he was 12 years old) and one of us could spend a siginificant amount of time with them (we never had kids since we divorced shortly after he retired). In the end, we fell apart due to the typical lack of communication skills that plague humans. Of course, one could argue that the reason it worked was because there was at least one partner with some life experience in the relationship. However, I've seen young marriages end in distaster, too. Most are two young kids who are married about two years and then start having children, which put such a strain on the marraige that by the time there are two (and sometimes three) children, the adults have had it. Then comes the very nasty divorce where the kids are used a manipulation tools. So, having gone through it and watched it happen to several of my second husband's friends (he was younger than me), I'd actually agree with Domiguy: wait for a while. Master Fire

shivvy -> RE: Marrying your Dominant (12/20/2007 12:37:12 AM)
i'm nearlly 22 and i been collared by my Master for 18 months. W/we are engaged and saving up for O/our own place. Master says He wants U/us to have O/our own house 1st, and then W/we're saving up to get married, but i dunno when then will be.... i just know W/we are saving and saving and saving. i'm sorry that some P/peoples marrigies neva worked out, but i really luv my Master, and He really luvs me and tink, and i will do woteva it takes to make O/our marrige work [:)]

whiteslavebitch -> RE: Marrying your Dominant (12/20/2007 2:25:02 PM)
I have been married once previously for >20 years. Master has never been married. I don't need it for benefits, as I have my own, and I support myself and a UM. Neither of us feels it is necessary to get married. I feel more commitment to him than I ever felt towards my ex-husband.

SlaveTiffany -> RE: Marrying your Dominant (12/20/2007 3:51:02 PM)
I know that I'm comming to the thread a bit late, but I'd like to put my outlook in as well. My Master and I were married before we became Master and slave, but I've noticed that we occasionally "revert" to husband/wife as opposed to Master/slave when we're not really thinking about it. (Partly explains my refusal to put certian things in lowercase..then again, I half assed majored in english) Sometimes I think it would have been easier to not have been married at all, but at the same time, I doubt we would have been comfortable enough to even try since we're both fairly new. To me, being married to my dominate is one of the "Catch 22" deals. It has it's good points and bad points. Ta!

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