RE: Outed in reverse, and demo doms taking advantage...

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RE: Outed in reverse, and demo doms taking advantage... - 12/20/2007 9:28:49 AM

Dnomyar

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Joined: 6/27/2005
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Somethings are best left not said. A look or a headshake can communicate it just as well if not better. Why get into a pissing match with an idiot. In his/her mind they will have won it no matter what the outcome.

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RE: Outed in reverse, and demo doms taking advantage... - 12/20/2007 7:32:05 PM

YourhandMyAss

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Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
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Who said anything about a pissing contest. Protecting yourself dureing a demo and most expesially from the demo top, isn't a "pissing contest"

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar
Why get into a pissing match with an idiot.

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RE: Outed in reverse, and demo doms taking advantage... - 12/21/2007 4:52:06 AM

Dnomyar

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I have a certificate showing Im qualified to speak for everyone else. If you want one I will type one up for you. It is sad that you let someones words turn you into a negative person. Learn to disagree and ignore it.

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RE: Outed in reverse, and demo doms taking advantage... - 12/21/2007 4:54:41 AM

MzMia

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Joined: 7/30/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

Somethings are best left not said. A look or a headshake can communicate it just as well if not better. Why get into a pissing match with an idiot. In his/her mind they will have won it no matter what the outcome.

Enough idiots on here already, just to piss and moan!

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To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain

What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

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RE: Outed in reverse, and demo doms taking advantage... - 12/21/2007 5:43:41 AM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
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From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

I have a certificate showing Im qualified to speak for everyone else. If you want one I will type one up for you. It is sad that you let someones words turn you into a negative person. Learn to disagree and ignore it.

Your certificate is no good with me

Basically I strongly disagree with this

quote:

Somethings are best left not said. A look or a headshake can communicate it just as well if not better. Why get into a pissing match with an idiot. In his/her mind they will have won it no matter what the outcome.

In most cases it might be good advice, but to think that a "strong look" is the way to get people to behave themselves past childhood is rather not in keeping with my experience... It "might" work if one has the wherewithall to back up such a look, but tied up people usually don't. Personally speaking, people so disrespectful to my feelings would not get the chance to do it again, there is no activity (bondage in this situation) that I value more than my dignity and my boundaries...

Sometimes we have to find our voice and tell people where our boundaries lie, so that when we actually use nonverbal communication to let people know, they will believe us

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RE: Outed in reverse, and demo doms taking advantage... - 12/21/2007 7:15:42 AM

DMFParadox

Posts: 1405
Joined: 9/11/2007
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quote:

quote: TopCat

Dear T.-

Well, I do see a sorta common thread between the two- the people you are letting in.

Second issue first; I wouldn't make an issue in the moment- freezing up actually works for you there. You should, however, make the issue clear- more than clear- to the Top(s)-In-Question that the little no-big-deal playful behavoior (which I suspect is how they will portray it) is a big deal, and is not playful, as soon as the demo is over, make sure that there is a 3rd party witness to your statement, and next time it happens, (again, after the demo, show must go on and all that) inform the management that you will not work with him again.

On the first issue, well, maybe it's an NYC sorta thing, but my friends and I seem to close-mouthed about such things, and I really can't imagine a friend of mine blurting out sensitive personal information in a public place like that. In fact, we have a set of hand signals meaning 'I am OK, but stay clear' ,'come over so I can introduce you' 'and 'come over and be my significant other/ rescue me' (it's touching the ear for stay over there, touching the cheek for come on over, and touching the nose for 'save me').

Certainly, in a scene enviroment, mudane info spilling is considered very poor form. I'd sugest whacking 'em in the chops next time they do it.

Stay warm,
Lawrence

So what happens if your nose itches but you like your company and don't want an interrupt? Do you rub it with the back of your hand, or against a wall or something? j/k

Regarding the OP, rants 1, 2, and 2 1/2: Now, this whole issue is a fvcking hairball. Because a large part of sexuality for a lot of people is to have their boundaries pushed without permission. It annoys, insults, excites, and arouses. As does having boundaries that are fuzzily labeled as 'no' pushed... sometimes it's that act of saying no--and meaning it fully--yet having your desires overruled that is the most exciting. Bloody nuisance, that, and I sometimes wish people didn't work that illogically, but they do.

On the other hand, allowing this over-the-line behavior at all--not setting clear boundaries at all times and enforcing them--allows dangerous behavior to creep in. Public humiliation and firing at work, because your Master or munch mates let it slip to the wrong person? Getting raped by lack of resistance? These are real possibilities. So what's a submissive to do? What is right?

Sad to say, I don't have an answer, really. It's different for everyone. But don't hold grudges. Because nobody else really has an answer either; they just have to do what's best for them.

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"The role of gender in society is the most complicated thing I’ve ever spent a lot of time learning about, and I’ve spent a lot of time learning about quantum mechanics." - Randall Munroe

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RE: Outed in reverse, and demo doms taking advantage... - 12/21/2007 7:22:04 AM

Dnomyar

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Julia I even have a fake good housekeeping seal of approval on it. I was not refering to a person who is already tied up. I refered to that in a previous post. The op was refering to a public event. The one in charge should have stepped in and stopped the scene.

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RE: Outed in reverse, and demo doms taking advantage... - 12/21/2007 8:41:51 AM

juliaoceania

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Sorry I misunderstood

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Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

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