OK, Here it is- How to find...

OK, Here it is- How to find... (Full Version)

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LotusSong -> OK, Here it is- How to find... (12/20/2007 3:31:35 PM)
... A Mistress! Get out from behind the computer and into a munch.. if you can handle that.. get to the local dungeon or whatever local 'scene' is available. You will get that information at the munch. There, show your personality, act like a HUMAN being and show your personality. Not an "unworthy..or worm boy..or whatever".. that's the fantasy speaking, deal with reality first..find out what the person you are interested in is... well, interested in. This is important, because when you are done with a session, what you have left is you and all she has is herself. THAT is what both of you have to offer. I hope this helps. edited to correct my sorry typing! (it's either that or I'm typing in "tongues" ...)

LadyPact -> RE: OK, Here it is- How to find... (12/20/2007 3:55:59 PM)
Cool. This post just goes to show I'm not the only one out there who thinks like this. From time to time, I also wonder why some can't understand this easy answer to the question.

ShaktiSama -> RE: OK, Here it is- How to find... (12/20/2007 4:59:08 PM)
Barring this, you can always send a monthly Paypal payment to me, ShaktiSama the Great, and I will send you a weekly newsletter telling you What Is Expected of My Loyal Minions. Included will be recipes, scourging exercises, and adventures in self-humiliation which you will undergo for my amusement. Yes, you too can have a Real Live Internet Mistress! This week's adventure: ordering fast food while wearing no pants! Join my Internet harem today! [:D]

AFlyInYourWeb -> RE: OK, Here it is- How to find... (12/20/2007 5:14:35 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ShaktiSama Barring this, you can always send a monthly Paypal payment to me, ShaktiSama the Great, and I will send you a weekly newsletter telling you What Is Expected of My Loyal Minions. Included will be recipes, scourging exercises, and adventures in self-humiliation which you will undergo for my amusement. Yes, you too can have a Real Live Internet Mistress! This week's adventure: ordering fast food while wearing no pants! Join my Internet harem today! [:D] What? No link?? [:o] Let me guess: when I get to the counter at Burger King, I'm supposed to say: "Gimme a Whopper, but hold the pickle." Would using the drive-in window be considered cheating?

MsCfromMelbourne -> RE: OK, Here it is- How to find... (12/20/2007 5:22:45 PM)
When you find the local scene, make friends of all persuasions: Doms, other subs (especially femsubs....they are great little match makers!), fetishists, crossies etc etc Discreetly let people know you are single and sub. If they like you, eventually someone will tell a Mistress about you and fix you up. Mistresses don't like being hit on by complete strangers. You will probably be politely told to get lost if you only focus on Mistresses at munches, dungeons etc. You usually need allies, connections and friends in the scene to land a Mistress...... ........unless you look like Brad Pitt. Then the Mistresses will probably fight eachother to grab you first and pop that BDSM cherry!

darchChylde -> RE: OK, Here it is- How to find... (12/20/2007 5:49:52 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LotusSong ... A Mistress! Get out from behind the computer and into a munch.. if you can handle that.. get to the local dungeon or whatever local 'scene' is available. You will get that information at the munch. There, show your personality, act like a HUMAN being and show your personality. Not an "unworthy..or worm boy..or whatever".. that's the fantasy speaking, deal with reality first..find out what the person you are interested in is... well, interested in. This is important, because when you are done with a session, what you have left is you and all she has is herself. THAT is what both of you have to offer. I hope this helps. edited to correct my sorry typing! (it's either that or I'm typing in "tongues" ...) does this mean nobody wants pictures of my penis? DAMN, there goes 3 gigs of memory on my camera

MsSaskia -> RE: OK, Here it is- How to find... (12/20/2007 5:49:56 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ShaktiSama Barring this, you can always send a monthly Paypal payment to me, ShaktiSama the Great, and I will send you a weekly newsletter telling you What Is Expected of My Loyal Minions. Included will be recipes, scourging exercises, and adventures in self-humiliation which you will undergo for my amusement. Yes, you too can have a Real Live Internet Mistress! This week's adventure: ordering fast food while wearing no pants! Join my Internet harem today! [:D] Your newsletter has recipes? I better start working on my content! [:D] On second thought, crap! I don't have a newsletter. SO much work ahead of me!

MsSaskia -> RE: OK, Here it is- How to find... (12/20/2007 5:51:26 PM)
Cardboard cutouts of undifferentiated, personality-free, generic slaves are in limitless supply. It's definitely possible to show personality and still be polite and respectful. Good advice!

LotusSong -> RE: OK, Here it is- How to find... (12/20/2007 6:20:17 PM)
My slave and I have been enjoying our collar for 11 years. I followed my own advice. Go with the attitude of getting involved in the "kommunity'- you'll have more fun while you are looking My slave was the most unlikely candidate. Nine years older, white hair, but one hell of a body :) I had no intention of looking for a slave to collar. I was busy learning what I could form the meetings and people and that I talked to. Here this guy had 6 years experience..mostly with pro-Dommes. I had to get him to see ME and not what he thought I should be. While I was capable of anything, I made sure he knew I had limits and his submission depended on MY definition and not his. He asked for my collar one night. I said "what the hell, nobody else seems to want you" :) I'm glad I did.

aidan -> RE: OK, Here it is- How to find... (12/20/2007 6:59:43 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MsCfromMelbourne ........unless you look like Brad Pitt. Then the Mistresses will probably fight eachother to grab you first and pop that BDSM cherry! I look like Brad Pitt and George Clooney...If you smashed their heads together. [8D] No, seriously now (You can be serious? Shut up), for all my ranting and cheerleading about how awesome a tool them thar interwebs are for making connections and learning about BDSM and all that jazz...Yeah. You've got to get out there to really make it happen. Do whatever you can, whatever you must, but get involved. When I'm in a city with a scene, I go to clubs. I visit with kinky friends when I find myself in their parts of the world. I visit New York City every few months to go to Paddles. It's not a lot, but it's what my budget affords, and it's something. That's the important part, my fellow submissive dudes. That you at least try. "Touching was, is, and always will be the true revolution."

LotusSong -> RE: OK, Here it is- How to find... (12/20/2007 7:15:00 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: aidan No, seriously now (You can be serious? Shut up), for all my ranting and cheerleading about how awesome a tool them thar interwebs are for making connections and learning about BDSM and all that jazz...Yeah. You've got to get out there to really make it happen. Do whatever you can, whatever you must, but get involved. When I'm in a city with a scene, I go to clubs. I visit with kinky friends when I find myself in their parts of the world. I visit New York City every few months to go to Paddles. It's not a lot, but it's what my budget affords, and it's something. That's the important part, my fellow submissive dudes. That you at least try. "Touching was, is, and always will be the true revolution." While going to micsellaneous clubs is a start.. try to be a frequent at the one you like the best. Getting your face out there and known as a 'regular' helps a lot. They know you are not just passing through for an occational thrill. People start looking for you to show up then if there is an interest. And volunteer to do work for the club, it gives you credibility as someone who is interested in the whole picture.

aidan -> RE: OK, Here it is- How to find... (12/20/2007 7:22:00 PM)
Well, for me, and for a lot of people I'd imagine who come to a site like CollarMe specifically looking for a partner, it's that finances and geography stymie me. Rural hometown, rural school, no personal mode of transportation, all make for regular trips to the club and events just this side of unfeasible. What you suggest, LotusSong, it's solid advice. I'm not arguing that, and it's the next step when I finally can implement it. What I was trying to say with the above post is that even when odds are against you, there's still opportunities if you're willing to be dedicated and go out of your way. If BDSM is important to you, you'll find a way to get out there in the community.

aidan -> RE: OK, Here it is- How to find... (12/20/2007 7:24:54 PM)
Another suggestion: if there's no community or scene where you reside, than start it yourself. Try to network with people (relatively) local, organize a munch, start a club at college (if applicable). If there's no scene, be the scene, if that makes any sense.

slavekal -> RE: OK, Here it is- How to find... (12/20/2007 7:29:40 PM)
Right you are. I did a blog post about just this topic a while ago. So many guys who say they want a Mistress are nothing but internet wankers. It is not easy, but it sure ain't impossible to find a quality Mistress.

LadyHibiscus -> RE: OK, Here it is- How to find... (12/20/2007 7:30:00 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: darchChylde quote: ORIGINAL: LotusSong edited to correct my sorry typing! (it's either that or I'm typing in "tongues" ...) does this mean nobody wants pictures of my penis? DAMN, there goes 3 gigs of memory on my camera Bring em on, cutie! :)

LotusSong -> RE: OK, Here it is- How to find... (12/20/2007 7:35:23 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: aidan What I was trying to say with the above post is that even when odds are against you, there's still opportunities if you're willing to be dedicated and go out of your way. If BDSM is important to you, you'll find a way to get out there in the community. Understood :) I was just elaborating. At least you are getting out there and provide a good example. It will pay off eventually :)

darchChylde -> RE: OK, Here it is- How to find... (12/20/2007 7:39:00 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus quote: ORIGINAL: darchChylde quote: ORIGINAL: LotusSong edited to correct my sorry typing! (it's either that or I'm typing in "tongues" ...) does this mean nobody wants pictures of my penis? DAMN, there goes 3 gigs of memory on my camera Bring em on, cutie! :) sorry to tease; other than the fact that i've taken no pics of my wee willy, i can't go around showing Ma'ams property like that

undergroundsea -> RE: OK, Here it is- How to find... (12/20/2007 7:50:28 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ShaktiSama Included will be recipes Now are these recipes towards sadism or service? The distinction could be rather important. For instance, if it a recipe towards SM, and the poor chap thinks it's a recipe towards service, and then there he is one day serving a domme, and he says, tonight's her birthday so I'll pull out one of the recipes I got the training program of ShaktiSama The Great, and, well, there could be lots of trouble ;-) Cheers, Sea

ShaktiSama -> RE: OK, Here it is- How to find... (12/20/2007 7:58:57 PM)
Perish the thought! None of my loyal minions would ever forsake me for another! No other woman's approval matters. Pay no attention to the woman behind the curtain! I am the Great and Powerful Domme! (Nevertheless, I'll be sure to mark the recipe section "Treats Your Mistress Will Love" with special notes on how to mix up a nice moisturizing masque to keep my mane shiny, or a dark chocolate truffle to serve between polished teeth. [:D])

Dolce -> RE: OK, Here it is- How to find... (12/20/2007 8:04:44 PM)
Aww...and here I was hoping for /real/ recipes... Tis the downside to being a single sub. I have noone to cook for!! Granted, I hosted a small vanilla party tonight, and baked up a storm (as I always do). I love to cook...but if I cook, I wind up eating it for a week! ~Dolce, who loves her 500-watt Kitchenaid mixer and her convection oven [:D]

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