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Dealing with all the E-Mails - 8/19/2005 3:38:18 PM   
tuttalila


Posts: 47
Joined: 8/17/2005
From: Italy
Status: offline 		I just joined these boards 2-3 days ago, and already there are a LOT of e-mails in the inbox from... well, I'm not sure who most are from exactly. It just seems impossible to answer everyone personally, but at the same time seems rude not to.
Just wondering how others dealt with this -- Also what does "trolls" mean? I've seen it pop up once or twice, but I wasn't quite sure

lila

_____________________________

put out that lamp when thou wishest.
I shall know thy darkness and shall love it.

R.Tagore
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Dealing with all the E-Mails - 8/19/2005 4:17:02 PM   
JohnWarren


Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: tuttalila

I just joined these boards 2-3 days ago, and already there are a LOT of e-mails in the inbox from... well, I'm not sure who most are from exactly. It just seems impossible to answer everyone personally, but at the same time seems rude not to.
Just wondering how others dealt with this -- Also what does "trolls" mean? I've seen it pop up once or twice, but I wasn't quite sure

lila


Troll comes from the fishing term meaning "throw out a net or a bunch of hooks and just see what gets caught." In the sense you are using it, it's basically a person who sends out dozens of messages to anyone 1/ breathing 2/ the right sex and see who replies.

They are the grit of the email universe.

_____________________________

www.lovingdominant.org

(in reply to tuttalila)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Dealing with all the E-Mails - 8/19/2005 8:08:36 PM   
quietkitten


Posts: 1082
Joined: 2/5/2005
From: Alberta, Canada
Status: offline 		It gets better after a while.... once you are off the "new" list, the e-mails calm down a bit.
Just grit your teeth and do your best!!!

_____________________________

The number 1 cause of stress is reality.

I miss my old Avatar :(

<< I am a depressed procrastinator with Alzheimers -- I am going to end it all.... tomorrow... or the next day.

Now what was I talking about again?

(in reply to tuttalila)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Dealing with all the E-Mails - 8/19/2005 8:38:01 PM   
fastlane


Posts: 2159
Joined: 5/26/2005
Status: offline 		I never e mail newbies....or anyone else for that matter. Damn, no wonder I'm still spankning myself?

What's that e mail address again?

_____________________________

Just because it hurts, doesn't necessarily make it a bad thing.

(in reply to quietkitten)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Dealing with all the E-Mails - 8/20/2005 2:03:37 AM   
tuttalila


Posts: 47
Joined: 8/17/2005
From: Italy
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: JohnWarren
Troll comes from the fishing term meaning "throw out a net or a bunch of hooks and just see what gets caught."


Thanks! That definitely sums up a bunch of what is in my inbox...



_____________________________

put out that lamp when thou wishest.
I shall know thy darkness and shall love it.

R.Tagore

(in reply to JohnWarren)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Dealing with all the E-Mails - 8/20/2005 9:50:53 AM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		I got a flurry of emails before I had even put anything in my profile! What can I say, some folks will write to anyone in hope. :)


(in reply to tuttalila)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Dealing with all the E-Mails - 8/20/2005 12:50:57 PM   
LadyofLight


Posts: 60
Status: offline 		It is insane how some email others w/out bothering to even read the profile first. There is some very good information in this forum about the different kinds of profiles.Good Luck.I gave up trying to be polite and respond back.I only write those that capture my mind.If they can't get my attention,why bother?

(in reply to tuttalila)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Dealing with all the E-Mails - 8/20/2005 10:12:43 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		Ah, did you read the discussion where we cranky dommes were chastised for not being polite enough to respond to the sincere? I have gotten somewhat better about responding with a "no, thank you", but I admit some of my notes have the tone of harshness. Where is the SENSE of someone from Russia writing to me and expecting a serious response?

(in reply to LadyofLight)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Dealing with all the E-Mails - 8/21/2005 4:56:08 AM   
FTopinMichigan


Posts: 571
Joined: 7/5/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Where is the SENSE of someone from Russia writing to me and expecting a serious response?


Agreed! Especially, when the profile specifically and clearly details an interest in local contacts only.

I've added a note into my "journal" on here, to let them know if they're not local (as indicated in their profile, as compared to my own), then I will immediately delete their e-mail.

On another Personals site, you have the option to send an automated response when an e-mail is received. I have a note sent out that sez, "Hi! If this is your initial contact with me, this is just a quick note to let you know that your e-mail has been received, and will most likely be reviewed within the next 24 hours. I will ONLY reply via e-mail if you are local to Detroit, our interests match, and if you have submitted a thorough introduction, copy of your profile, and picture (as requested)." (A second e-mail usually follows the first. lol)

Yes, I have received some nice notes, and compliments from men from out of the area (mostly out of the country), but I would be wasting my time and theirs to pursue correspondence with them, if my interest is only real life, and no casual encounters/travelers. And yes, they immediately tell me they are willing to relocate to me, but don't even sign their name to their e-mail. Always good for a giggle.

So the note about the possibility of me being non responsive is there, but I figure they don't read that either, or they would have complied with the initial intro, or not at all, if out of the area.

The delete option saves me time on e-mail correspondence.

K

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Dealing with all the E-Mails - 8/21/2005 9:34:24 AM   
tuttalila


Posts: 47
Joined: 8/17/2005
From: Italy
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Ah, did you read the discussion where we cranky dommes were chastised for not being polite enough to respond to the sincere? I have gotten somewhat better about responding with a "no, thank you", but I admit some of my notes have the tone of harshness. Where is the SENSE of someone from Russia writing to me and expecting a serious response?


I just got the hang of searching past posts for answers to my q's, and I see it's a very common issue!

_____________________________

put out that lamp when thou wishest.
I shall know thy darkness and shall love it.

R.Tagore

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Dealing with all the E-Mails - 8/21/2005 11:17:38 PM   
txparanoid


Posts: 31
Joined: 12/31/2004
Status: offline 		Heh. You should be so lucky... I don't know what it is, but my mailbox is anything but flooded.

(in reply to tuttalila)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Dealing with all the E-Mails - 8/22/2005 5:45:27 AM   
FTopinMichigan


Posts: 571
Joined: 7/5/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: txparanoid

Heh. You should be so lucky... I don't know what it is, but my mailbox is anything but flooded.


txparanoid, you might try changing your SN. I don't know too many people that would seriously want to enjoy somone that self indentifies as "paranoid!"

K

(in reply to txparanoid)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Dealing with all the E-Mails - 8/22/2005 6:10:44 AM   
MsSonnetMarwood


Posts: 1898
Joined: 2/10/2005
From: Eastern Shore, Maryland
Status: offline
quote:

I just got the hang of searching past posts for answers to my q's, and I see it's a very common issue!



You can set your email to filter out emails from those from other countries, other states, age ranges, etc. I generally only filter out those from foreign countries.

I have found that the less I have in my profile, the more email from out in left field I get. I recently updated my profile, and that's cut down significantly on the email. The good news is that it means that a number of people are reading my profile. The bad news is that it's more irritating when I get the emails from those that don't fit my criteria.

_____________________________

~Ms. Sonnet Marwood~

Deja Moo: The feeling you've heard this bull somewhere before.

(in reply to tuttalila)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Dealing with all the E-Mails - 8/22/2005 11:59:49 AM   
lonewolf05


Posts: 830
Joined: 6/21/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Heh. You should be so lucky... I don't know what it is, but my mailbox is anything but flooded.


yeah. i know that's right.

i have never............had a full mailbox. the most i have ever had were maybe 3 msgs at one time.
i think maybe i'm jealous.

lol

wolfie

_____________________________

"there is no gravity, life sucks!"


(in reply to txparanoid)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Dealing with all the E-Mails - 8/22/2005 12:28:50 PM   
pandora29


Posts: 22
Joined: 8/19/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: tuttalila

I just joined these boards 2-3 days ago, and already there are a LOT of e-mails in the inbox from... well, I'm not sure who most are from exactly. It just seems impossible to answer everyone personally, but at the same time seems rude not to.
Just wondering how others dealt with this -- Also what does "trolls" mean? I've seen it pop up once or twice, but I wasn't quite sure

lila


I am glad someone has had the chance to post this question because i was wondering the same thing.I have been flooded with e-mails and many not even closely matching my requirements.I have read many of the posts and thank E/everyone for the information i am recieving.Now that i know how to weed out uncompatable subs it will make things alot easier for me.

Pandora

(in reply to tuttalila)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Dealing with all the E-Mails - 8/22/2005 4:22:43 PM   
Castalia


Posts: 1
Joined: 8/11/2005
Status: offline 		Hello there, I just wanted to say that I'm a relatively new person to collarme, and yes, I got a huge flood of emails. The way I handled it was to send a quick email back nearly immediately which said that I had received the email, and that if the querant (sp?) could just wait patiently, that I would reply.

I let all know in no uncertain terms that impatient, sammy, "hi again!" (when it's multiple times!), and "remember me?" emails would be grounds for termination of consideration.

Inevitably, there were those who did not take it seriously. I informed them that they were eliminated.

What remained was a thinner list of respectful responses which I felt free to respond to at my leisure. Those who waited the most patiently were by far the most suitable. Not saying this will work for all, but I'm pleased with the results.

By insisting on respect and good manners from the get-go and being specific about what I wanted in my profile, I have been able to feel no remorse when I reject someone who is not a good match or has behaved inappropriately.

If anything, it's made the best, most well-qualified responders *more* ardent, more eager yet just as respectful.

I admit, I probably have significantly more patience than most. The onslaught of mail is slowing down now, and I am finally catching up. I've corresponded with some truly extraordinary folks, and I've really appreciated (for the record) the patience required of the subs responding to my profile.

Take care,

Mistress Castalia


(in reply to pandora29)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Dealing with all the E-Mails - 8/22/2005 9:47:31 PM   
TiNeedsHouseboy


Posts: 145
Joined: 4/24/2005
From: Big Apple blossom blown to The Windy City
Status: offline 		Don't worry about the mail inundation. Answer mail that seems sincere. Tell the rest to take a long walk off a short pier, or simply delete inappropriate contacts. It always amazed me how, when I'd register for the first time, while my profile was sitting there, with no info, pending approval, it was like the locusts were attacking! Talk about desperation!

quote:

ORIGINAL: FTopinMichigan
Yes, I have received some nice notes, and compliments from men from out of the area (mostly out of the country), but I would be wasting my time and theirs to pursue correspondence with them, if my interest is only real life, and no casual encounters/travelers. And yes, they immediately tell me they are willing to relocate to me, but don't even sign their name to their e-mail.

I don't get it with these guys from overseas and some of the odd mail they send.

The corker was a guy in Germany. When I didn't answer his initial totally inappropriate e-mail, he waited a couple of weeks and sent me a second -- as if he'd never before written. In the second one, he offered to bribe me (that was a new manifestation from him) if I'd move to German to live in HIS house. He'd pay my airfare, plus as long as I lived with him and took care of his do-me needs (which are rather extreme RE: sadism and humiliation), he'd pay me in Euro dollars -- roughly $1,000 per month (whoop-dee-do), plus food for as long as I cared to stay. Yeah, that's gonna happen.

Then, there was some dude from the Netherlands, who I had regular IM and e-mail contact with -- but I was just interested on an intellectual level. I had no interest in him as any sort of partner. Apparently, that didn't penetrate. He said he wanted to visit to Chicago. I told him that I'd be happy to show him around and be a tourist guide, but I had no intentions of staging any BDSM interactions. Brother, did he ever blow his stack! Apparently, he had big plans to meet and play in preparation for relocating to be with me. He took it as a personal affront when I told him I had no "partnering" interest in him. In fact, he started to act like such an asshole, I was very glad that I wasn't the least bit interested.

Takes all kinds.

~ Ti ~

(in reply to FTopinMichigan)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Dealing with all the E-Mails - 8/22/2005 9:55:10 PM   
TiNeedsHouseboy


Posts: 145
Joined: 4/24/2005
From: Big Apple blossom blown to The Windy City
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: txparanoid
Heh. You should be so lucky... I don't know what it is, but my mailbox is anything but flooded.

quote:

ORIGINAL: FTopinMichigan
txparanoid, you might try changing your SN. I don't know too many people that would seriously want to enjoy somone that self indentifies as "paranoid!"

Second the motion! Plus you might wanna consider revamping your profile to sound positive, instead of having such an off-putting tone from the get-go. Posting a picture where you're smiling, not looking peeved, would help, too. Everything about you screams: STAY AWAY! Also, if you're married or attached (is that what "can't commit" means?), you need to be up front about it.

~ Ti~

(in reply to FTopinMichigan)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Dealing with all the E-Mails - 8/23/2005 6:08:12 PM   
SimplyWickedGRL


Posts: 6
Joined: 6/19/2005
Status: offline 		sigh.. iw ish i had an answer for you. I hvae the smae problem.

When you find out.. let me know. Preferbale not through email though...lol

(in reply to tuttalila)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Dealing with all the E-Mails - 8/31/2005 2:12:37 AM   
txparanoid


Posts: 31
Joined: 12/31/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TiNeedsHouseboy

quote:

ORIGINAL: txparanoid
Heh. You should be so lucky... I don't know what it is, but my mailbox is anything but flooded.

quote:

ORIGINAL: FTopinMichigan
txparanoid, you might try changing your SN. I don't know too many people that would seriously want to enjoy somone that self indentifies as "paranoid!"

Second the motion! Plus you might wanna consider revamping your profile to sound positive, instead of having such an off-putting tone from the get-go. Posting a picture where you're smiling, not looking peeved, would help, too. Everything about you screams: STAY AWAY! Also, if you're married or attached (is that what "can't commit" means?), you need to be up front about it.

~ Ti~


I look horrible when I smile.

And I'm not attached - when I say I can't commit - it's not because I'm seeing anyone - it's because I'm moving to another country in a few months.

Are you sure EVERYTHING screams "stay away?" Can you get more specific? You know, why doesn't anyone ever tell me these things?

That picture is the only good picture I have of me looking good. And yeah, I was a little peeved when it was taken - I was just about to testify in front of the Texas Senate.

(in reply to TiNeedsHouseboy)
Profile   Post #: 20
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