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Do Some Doms not like the idea of tying someone up? - 8/19/2005 5:13:31 PM

Hallittlelolita

Posts: 253
Joined: 8/11/2005
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Hi I have question, my Master likes the mental idea of bondage instead of the physical act itself. My question is do some Masters out there that think this way. I have told him that i I would blindfold myself and he said no, he said yes I own you but that dosent mean i have to tie you up. I'm trying to get him to but maybe I should just let it go for awhile and see if he get's into the idea his self.

Sincerely, Andie and her Master Hal

Post #: 1

RE: Do Some Doms not like the idea of tying someone up? - 8/19/2005 5:22:50 PM

EmeraldSlave2

Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Bondage is just a kink. Like all kinks, some people will love them, some people will hate them.

The Owner finds wax play extremely boring and bondage to be only used when necessary for restraints. I find was play extremely sensuous and bondage to be one of the most exsquisite things in the world.

I'm lucky in that I can find other partners who share my kinks and express them in other ways.

Most couples don't have perfectly matched kinks- one will like some things more than the other and vice cersa. Some people can learn to like them, some people don't.

Whatever kink you can think of, some will get wet and some will yawn.

(in reply to Hallittlelolita)

Post #: 2

RE: Do Some Doms not like the idea of tying someone up? - 8/19/2005 6:32:27 PM

FangsNfeet

Posts: 3758
Joined: 12/3/2004
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I do know doms who take the risk of decideing not to tie down there subs during a session. It's mostly done for the doms protection. If you really want to be tied up, kick him in the nutts a few times when he's tickling or spanking you. You can also start resisting him in a type of play rape situation that will make him more aggressive and may resort to some rope, duct tape, cuffs, and who knows what else. Either way, he'll start getting the idea that you are not incontroll of your body when he's dominating you and that he might need to resort to some bondage gear to controll you and your involontary reactions better.

_____________________________

I'm Godzilla and you're Japan

(in reply to Hallittlelolita)

Post #: 3

RE: Do Some Doms not like the idea of tying someone up? - 8/19/2005 6:37:56 PM

Wolfspet

Posts: 143
Joined: 1/11/2004
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I have to agree with Emerald Slave.
bondage is just a kink, and fortunately one we do not indulge in often. Wolf is lousy at ropework, and when the spawn were smaller, it was totally impractical for those "bursting in the door' moments children are prone too.

Sweetie, no offense, but there is no BDSM rulebook from on high. Couples & poly families, be it M/s, D/s, Gorean, or weekend warriors, define the paramaters of what is acceptable to them.

If it is kink your into, talk to him about it. He may just not like you telling him what he "should" do as a Master. If it is not something he is into, perhaps it could be incorporated as a reward type of thing.

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)

Post #: 4

RE: Do Some Doms not like the idea of tying someone up? - 8/19/2005 6:54:19 PM

MstrHellsFury

Posts: 388
Joined: 1/5/2005
Status: offline

speaking only from what happens in my household...my first is ok with whatever I do to her...my second on the other hand simply melts within the bonds of anything that binds her...to this end I do on many occasions withold this activity and reserve it for a reward...also I have her trained to configure herself as if she were bound and her headspace has become one of mental as well as physical binding...so to answer your question...there are degrees to which you can achieve the desired effect...also I would suggest..in whatever way you may be asking for this...be as humble as possible...I don't know your exact situation..but sometimes we puffdragons like to feel what you recieve comes from our need to fulfill your needs...not from demands to do so...also to show a slight disinterest in something spurs us to want to dig to push limits that we feel are within your boundries...so who's got who by the rope...

Fury

(in reply to Hallittlelolita)

Post #: 5

RE: Do Some Doms not like the idea of tying someone up? - 8/19/2005 6:54:20 PM

Ojedieu

Posts: 142
Joined: 1/17/2005
From: Michigan
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: EmeraldSlave2

Most couples don't have perfectly matched kinks- one will like some things more than the other and vice cersa. Some people can learn to like them, some people don't.

Very true, I'm a Switch, the hubby is Dom. When I'm submissive the idea of bondage is a major turn on for me, while it's not such a great thrill for him. He'd prefer a service-oriented submissive, with little emphasis on the bondage thing, while I find that extremely boring from my point of view. However, when I'm Domme mode, I also prefer service-oriented subs -- is that hypocritical or what?? At least I know what the attraction is, I just don't want to be one.

_____________________________

Ojedieu

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)

Post #: 6

RE: Do Some Doms not like the idea of tying someone up? - 8/19/2005 11:25:28 PM

Kinkypupper

Posts: 713
Joined: 9/26/2004
From: Portland oregon
Status: offline

"Mental control" and a bond of that nature is a LOT deeper then any kind of physical bondage.
Most if not probably ALL "Dom" types use mental control a lot more then they may realize or accept..

_____________________________

Phil Moulton
A Sensual Touch
Locopony Racing
Portland Oregon

(in reply to Hallittlelolita)

Post #: 7

RE: Do Some Doms not like the idea of tying someone up? - 8/20/2005 4:04:23 AM

Focus50

Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: EmeraldSlave2

Bondage is just a kink. Like all kinks, some people will love them, some people will hate them.

The Owner finds wax play extremely boring and bondage to be only used when necessary for restraints. I find was play extremely sensuous and bondage to be one of the most exsquisite things in the world.

I'm lucky in that I can find other partners who share my kinks and express them in other ways.

Most couples don't have perfectly matched kinks- one will like some things more than the other and vice cersa. Some people can learn to like them, some people don't.

Whatever kink you can think of, some will get wet and some will yawn.

It doesn't happen often, Emerald, but I disagree with you here, especially your opening sentence....

I've often said D/s is about control and there's no better physical expression of control over another than with bondage. I love bondage in general, even as a kink, but it's so much more than that.... In the early stages of a new relationship, I spend a lotta time facillitating her feeling of helplessness and total reliance on me through bondage. It's not ropes that she feels relentlessly gripping her, it's me she's feeling - and that's one powerful dynamic to instil in one's sub. It sets the tone for the entire relationship.

Because of my own love of bondage in general, there's not much that doesn't include some form of restraint for her - with the notable exception of punishment. If I have something to do on the computer or a program I wanna watch etc, I usually incorporate bondage to keep her preoccupied and for my own viewing pleasure, too!

Specifically to the OP, mental bondage is a useful form of control and discipline (and torment) for her but it ranks a distant second in my own preferences.... In concert with your other thread about him learning the lifestyle on his own, it begins to feel that either he's a bit lazy or lacking in the confidence to actually try. I have a mate who won't come golfing with us because he's no good at it - because he's never golfed.... It's a nasty little circle of his own making - especially since I won't be intimidating him as I'm happy to break a hundred, and the others are only a few shots better....

You need to talk this through with him because I've yet to meet a sub who didn't love being bound....

Focus50.

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)

Post #: 8

RE: Do Some Doms not like the idea of tying someone up? - 8/20/2005 5:08:22 AM

Wolfspet

Posts: 143
Joined: 1/11/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50

I've yet to meet a sub who didn't love being bound....

Focus50.[/color][/font]

Sorry Focus, but maybe you need to get out more.

I know more than a few.

(in reply to Focus50)

Post #: 9

RE: Do Some Doms not like the idea of tying someone up? - 8/20/2005 5:58:01 AM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

I've always enjoyed mild bondage when in sex play with a partner. I could go quite happily without binding any one in a BDSM play time. having said that, I do love shibari but for me it is an art form rather than a form of BDSM....

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Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to Wolfspet)

Post #: 10

RE: Do Some Doms not like the idea of tying someone up? - 8/20/2005 6:32:55 AM

Focus50

Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Wolfspet

Sorry Focus, but maybe you need to get out more.

I know more than a few.

To what end, to actually meet subs who don't like bondage? Will they also be so presumptive and patronising in their manner? Think I'll take care of my own social agenda and liasons.... back at ya.

Focus50.

(in reply to Wolfspet)

Post #: 11

RE: Do Some Doms not like the idea of tying someone up? - 8/20/2005 7:45:42 AM

fastlane

Posts: 2159
Joined: 5/26/2005
Status: offline

Start using sublimal stimulation on him. Instead of saying Try...say Tie.
For example...Tie this ice cream honey, I think you'll like it. Then when the weekend rolls around suggest that you go to a Thai resturaunt to eat. Then suggest that you both go to a bar and Tie one on. In no time you'll end up hogtied.

Just Tie it...it couldn't hurt?

_____________________________

Just because it hurts, doesn't necessarily make it a bad thing.

(in reply to Focus50)

Post #: 12

RE: Do Some Doms not like the idea of tying someone up? - 8/20/2005 7:53:27 AM

pinkpleasures

Posts: 1114
Status: offline

WTF?????? Do Y/you really mean i could find my One and STILL not get my bondage fantasises fulfilled? That's as shocking as telling me some Doms or Masters don't f**k!

Well, it's definately a prerequisite for me; maybe i should change my profile to say "Dom or Master must enjoy bondage and f**king".

i want all the intangibles; intimacy; security; protection; yada yada yada. But there had damn well better be bondage and sex!

ROFLMAO

pinkpleasures

< Message edited by pinkpleasures -- 8/20/2005 10:29:49 AM >

_____________________________

(in reply to Focus50)

Post #: 13

RE: Do Some Doms not like the idea of tying someone up? - 8/20/2005 8:08:25 AM

MstrHellsFury

Posts: 388
Joined: 1/5/2005
Status: offline

pink...I'd give you two thumbs up on that but some here might try to put catches on them and string me up...lol...oh the ties that bind...

Fury

(in reply to pinkpleasures)

Post #: 14

RE: Do Some Doms not like the idea of tying someone up? - 8/20/2005 8:10:20 AM

sub4hire

Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

My old dom used to say you are not a dom until you give your submissive an order and he/she obeys. No matter what was happening to them, they obey. No bonds needed.

I believe that as well. That is the true test of control. If you never achieve that you will never achieve that sort of control over your submissive.

As far as doms not wanting to play with bondage, well I've never met one. I'm sure there are people out there.
The reason why some may tell you they do not like to tie is because they may feel uncomfortable tying someone up. Great damage can be done if not done right.

It is easy to think you know how to do something then find out later that you were doing it all wrong and harm has been done. There is a proper way to do everything within this lifestyle.
There are plenty of discussion groups and demo's out there for those who want to learn.

(in reply to Hallittlelolita)

Post #: 15

RE: Do Some Doms not like the idea of tying someone up? - 8/20/2005 8:23:38 AM

EmeraldSlave2

Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50
You need to talk this through with him because I've yet to meet a sub who didn't love being bound....

I know a few who don't. I know a few relationships that incorporate absolutely no kink into their relationship.

You create a nice dynamic of always being right below though- if they don't like bondage then they aren't really subs, therefore all subs love bondage.

It's great that you love it and it's a great part of your life...but some people don't get anything out of it at all. That doesn't make them not subs or doms any more than not liking flogging does.

(in reply to Focus50)

Post #: 16

RE: Do Some Doms not like the idea of tying someone up? - 8/20/2005 9:22:23 AM

Hallittlelolita

Posts: 253
Joined: 8/11/2005
Status: offline

Wow thanks for all the responses

. I think my Master is finally getting the hint LOL. He finally said He is going to beat my butt today for being a naughty girl. Believe me it took awhile like two months for Him to say that i bet two more months and He will be ready to tie me up hopefully. I guess i just need to take things one at a time and not rush. Please wish me luck.

Sincerely, andie and her Master Hal

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)

Post #: 17

RE: Do Some Doms not like the idea of tying someone up? - 8/20/2005 10:34:32 AM

pinkpleasures

Posts: 1114
Status: offline

quote:

pink...I'd give you two thumbs up on that but some here might try to put catches on them and string me up...lol...oh the ties that bind...

Fury

Master...why would people be angry if You agreed with me about f**king and bondage?

Hallittlelolita; very good news. i hope He finally gives you all you want. Best wishes.

pinkpleasures

< Message edited by pinkpleasures -- 8/20/2005 10:37:04 AM >

_____________________________

(in reply to MstrHellsFury)

Post #: 18

RE: Do Some Doms not like the idea of tying someone up? - 8/20/2005 10:43:17 AM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

I agree with Emerald. I know people in D/s that have never picked up a whip, flogger, or rope. It's all about personal preference.

Master could care less about intricate bondage. He just doesn't have the patience for it. Me on the other hand, I love it, adore it, salivate over it. He will use restraints when we play, but it's not the detailed rope bondage that I like.

Our life is happy and fulfilled. When I really feel the need for rope, I politely bring it to his attention (I have his permission to do this). Sometimes he indulges me, sometimes he doesn't.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to pinkpleasures)

Post #: 19

RE: Do Some Doms not like the idea of tying someone up? - 8/20/2005 12:10:45 PM

slavedesires

Posts: 669
Joined: 3/2/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Hallittlelolita

Hi I have question, my Master likes the mental idea of bondage instead of the physical act itself. My question is do some Masters out there that think this way. I have told him that i I would blindfold myself and he said no, he said yes I own you but that dosent mean i have to tie you up. I'm trying to get him to but maybe I should just let it go for awhile and see if he get's into the idea his self.

Sincerely, Andie and her Master Hal

Andie.... from the day we met, Master has never used a toy on me of any sort.
Others have before Him and after i met Him for He does generously needs me to be used for His pleasure with another.
When i am bound by others, play/scene with others, no amount of bondage or toys used can do to me what He does. It is a physchological, physical and emotional surrender that physical bondage can never touch. He has never punished me physically either.
If your dom needs not have any of the extras to create your surrender, very much unlike other subs or slaves that need externals, then your headspace is truly of obedience to your one. Congratulations. He is right, if you are His, then nothing external will make your soul and body any more his.
blessings, shy

_____________________________

i speak only my personal opinion, sometimes O/ours.

"i am the keeper of fragile things and i have kept what is indisolvable."
....the greatest gift.....vulnerability

(in reply to Hallittlelolita)

Post #: 20

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