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laurell3 -> RE: I fucked up my LSAT. I am going to cry. (12/24/2007 6:55:41 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: kitttty
Told my dad (biological father). I also mentioned that I would have been a lot less stressed taking it if he hadn't yelled at me so much the days before. I took off work for a few days to study and went home (bad bad idea). So, my dad is giving me a six month disowning and he says that if I do better without him ever speaking to me, then it proves that Im better off without him 'trying to get me to do well'. Strange because he is against me going to law school anyways.
I bet he means it to. The last disowning I got was for four months (although it wasn't a deliberately specified time period)- did not hear one word from him. It was because he saw my birth control shot perscription and he was fucking livid to guess that I was engaging in 'activity'. Good lord would he proud of me now- me belonging to a Master as a sexual pet and all.
Because I took a few days off of work then, I worked today and now I'm all alone for X-mas and looks like I am mainly getting the threat of punishment and a temporary disowning. No, its not true. My aunt sent me a gift certificate. My mom sent me some make up. And my friend mailed me a card.
I any case, this isn't the type of thing that makes me depressed. I think that because Master says he will see me as soon as he gets back and because he is being communicative with me, I feel almost content.
My goal is to finish a draft of my diversity statement today. If I do that, I will feel okey dokey, I think.
God, I really really hate my score. It makes me want to hit something really hard.
Any male subs out there that need a sadist?
Well this explains alot about your view of yourself. Success, accomplishment, esteem, self-worth come from within. I don't know your family, but I can tell you it took me three years of therapy to learn that my family has some serious limitations that have nothing to do with me or my value and should not be any type of measuring stick for how I feel about myself. It took several years for my mother to learn that when she criticises me, there is no place in my life for her. Until you can learn that you are a valuable human being because of you and how you feel about you, your successes will always be limited and hollow.
I know you were probably kidding with the statements about seeking a male sub to hit in anger, but it isn't actually very funny however it's rather applicable to the image you have created of yourself here. Other people are never an appropriate dumping ground for your own issues.
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