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FirmhandKY -> RE: English or American Babes? (12/22/2007 4:00:04 PM)
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FR/FYI:
I did a search for "Ugly British Women" because I read that there was a global survey that ranked the "attractiveness" of women in general by nationality.
Didn't find it (and doubt it really exists), but I did find a blog by an American living in London who isn't real fond of the British. I'm NOT recommending him because he has a point. I AM recommending him because some of his posts are abolutely hilarious as well, although very, very insulting to the Brits.
I want to apologize in advance to anyone from the Isles, but ... humor wins out ....
The Duke of New York blog
An example:
Monday, October 1, 2007
An Essay on England. Featuring several American ironical devices.
The English are a funny bunch. Well, in truth, they’re an infuriatingly tedious bunch of fungal encrusted yeast infections, but to get the piece started, let’s call them funny.
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Canadian geneticists studying British school children in 2004 concluded, (hesitatingly of course) that there is evidence to suggest “measurable chromosomal damage” to the English gene, which may go some way to an explanation.
The study suggests a possible link between chromosomal damage and alcohol, which the English have a long history of abusing. Other suggestions include the English tradition of inbreeding between family members but whatever the cause, the damage helps explain why so many, many English people have weak chins, round faces, thinning hair, a tendency toward mongoloid features and a general look that seems ever so slightly Downes Syndrome in appearance.
Except the people with Downes Syndrome of course.
They look like English runway models.
And the cruelties of Mother Nature do not stop at the Englander’s gaspingly hideous good looks. The English are notoriously badly made. Pale skin that freckles in the sun, teeth that appear to grow virtually sideways out of their gums, a predisposition toward halitosis, chronic dandruff the size and shape of corn flakes, EEES (or Enormous-English-Ear Syndrome), pipe cleaner arms, chest hair that looks like it grew in an arse, notoriously sensitive tummies and long, hairy ET fingers that seem to have seventy five knuckles on each hand.
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For example, the unpleasant, often indefinable odor of the common English person is largely due to their attitude toward personal hygiene, which is unenlightened to say the least. Queen Victoria is still highly regarded by the British people as a woman of consummate cleanliness and was famed for indulging in regular baths, “up to two a week”.
The reluctance of the typical British person to engage in regular washing is best encapsulated in the long-standing American joke, overheard in a London tavern.
MAN: Hey, that guy was the best salesman I ever met. Why I dare say he could even sell a bar of soap to an Englishman.
MAN2: Ha ha. Now I know you’re joking.
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The form of English most people mistakenly believe has been exported to the rest of the world is called The Queens English and is referred to as such largely on account of the fact that the only person in the whole of Britain who speaks that way, is the Queen. And she’s German.
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Firm
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