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begging - 12/23/2007 11:27:20 AM   
beltainefaerie


Posts: 610
Joined: 4/15/2006
Status: offline 		I get flustered when told to beg.  I'm sure that is part of the point, as my Master likes making me struggle with words, but I'm curious as to what others say when they beg for things.  I would love to be more verbal than I am in general during sex/bdsm, as all my lovers find talking hot.  Begging just seems to be the most difficult, despite my genuine desire for the thing I'm begging for, as well as genuine desire to please, so it seems like a good place to start.  Any examples and suggestions are appreciated.
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RE: begging - 12/23/2007 12:08:54 PM   
BoundDragon


Posts: 265
Joined: 3/20/2007
Status: offline 		For some people begging just comes naturally & the word just flow (guess I am one of the lucky ones) for others it is almost uncomfortable and takes a lot of effort.

It is hard to advise how best to improve your feelings about begging, just keep trying and it will soon become more natural feeling.
When begging I feel like I am totally his and this brings me comfort & also makes me feel so complete & sexy. It enforces his mastery over me which I just love & it makes me wanna just delve deeper into it

Dont know if this helps at all but I hope you progress & enjoy your begging exploits

(in reply to beltainefaerie)
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RE: begging - 12/23/2007 12:17:48 PM   
unravel


Posts: 90
Joined: 9/3/2007
Status: offline 		i wish i could help, but i feel i am at the same point as you are on this. begging is in my eyes an essential part of the D/s process, but i cannot say it comes naturally to me, at least not in the well-versed, lyrical way that i wish would come out of my mouth. i am not "bad" per se at it, but i wish i was much better, and more creative with it.
But as BoundDragon said, it improves with time and repetition.
unravel

(in reply to beltainefaerie)
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RE: begging - 12/23/2007 12:20:25 PM   
TethersEnd


Posts: 102
Joined: 1/29/2007
Status: offline 		begging is difficult for me also. 
begging seems to have a dual edge.  asking for something personal is out of charictor for me.
although i'm looking at begging from a general sense. 
sexual begging is easier once you've practiced it some.  :>) 

(in reply to BoundDragon)
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RE: begging - 12/23/2007 12:36:51 PM   
sublibrarian


Posts: 96
Joined: 12/23/2007
Status: offline 		I don't generally know what to say either... other than "Please Sir" and whatever it is I'm begging for.

(in reply to beltainefaerie)
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RE: begging - 12/23/2007 2:21:54 PM   
Littlepita


Posts: 1430
Joined: 10/6/2005
Status: offline 		The only time I'm good at begging is when I'm right on the edge of an orgasm and he tells me to beg. Then the words just flow out of me as I attempt to hurry up and get his consent. Other times, I don't like it and he rarely has me beg because I'll just fold and say forget it.

_____________________________

“I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.” – Anais Nin

(in reply to sublibrarian)
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RE: begging - 12/23/2007 6:39:34 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Practice practice practice

And make it a true NEED.

http://www.collarchat.com/m_1359065/mpage_1/key_begging/tm.htm#1359455
What do we get from?

Begging

Subs...asking/begging

The act of begging


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Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to beltainefaerie)
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RE: begging - 12/23/2007 7:18:27 PM   
SirJohnMandevill


Posts: 546
Joined: 11/10/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sublibrarian

I don't generally know what to say either... other than "Please Sir" and whatever it is I'm begging for.


That's always worked for me as a Dom, especially if her pleas become more urgent and breathless as I continue whatever I'm doing without giving in. A LARGE turn-on for me during play!

Les (Purveyor of Fine, Handcrafted Kink)



_____________________________

Iam an eroticist
I am a fully eroticized being
No more neuroses
I found my strip naked soul soup
With the deviant ingredient
---The B-52s

(in reply to sublibrarian)
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RE: begging - 12/23/2007 7:45:33 PM   
Rushemery


Posts: 310
Joined: 9/10/2007
Status: offline 		when it looks fake it sucks, it needs to be real and honest we need it hear it in your voice and see it in your eyes, feel the tremmers of antisipation before it gets good... thats the best I can say

(in reply to SirJohnMandevill)
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RE: begging - 12/23/2007 7:54:12 PM   
Zaraseeks


Posts: 130
Joined: 9/5/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Rushemery

when it looks fake it sucks, it needs to be real and honest we need it hear it in your voice and see it in your eyes, feel the tremmers of antisipation before it gets good... thats the best I can say

I agree with this on the submissive side....thats when it does it for me, when my body mind and spirit are begging, not just me saying things...that is so hot, when the need/desire is built up and my entire being is begging and pleading...mmmm

(in reply to Rushemery)
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RE: begging - 12/23/2007 8:05:57 PM   
Rushemery


Posts: 310
Joined: 9/10/2007
Status: offline 		I also have to throw in its not as much for for me if I have to tell you to beg its probably different for everyone but if I have to stop and say beg Im not doing something right but thats in my relationships

(in reply to Zaraseeks)
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RE: begging - 12/23/2007 8:47:07 PM   
LivingInSin


Posts: 326
Joined: 6/12/2007
Status: offline 		you know, begging has entered my mind alot recently. i would have to agree with rushemery though....if you have to be told somethings up you know? imo if its a true need the words will flow all on thier own. good luck!

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*Myth says that only the woman who has been an utter slave can be truly free------this is no myth*


(in reply to beltainefaerie)
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RE: begging - 12/23/2007 11:59:11 PM   
JennyGrl


Posts: 5
Joined: 4/26/2006
Status: offline 		I have a hard time with begging too.....

I think for me it is still a self consciousness thing.

And for me there are times when I am genuinely begging for things and others when I am told to beg for something that I really might not want so much, in which case I think it is hard to beg with passion.  But, I find myself getting turned on in my frustration over begging in those circumstances. 




(in reply to LivingInSin)
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RE: begging - 12/24/2007 12:55:38 AM   
desertdancer


Posts: 1095
Joined: 5/12/2006
Status: offline 		I'm a stuborn kitten, if I'm told to beg for soemthing I no longer want it.  It's like a brick wall goes up and I am suddenly over it, I don't want it, don't need and wont have any of that... even if it is something I REALLY want. 

Why am I this way? Not a feckin' clue.  I wish I knew why I was this way so I could stop it.  I've looked at it and myself quite a few times..but I can't puzzle it out.  Now please understand, I am not a brat, nor am I a smart ass with my Master.  It's just some sorta mental block, like when he brings out that damn ball gag...I get a block.

Begging makes me pout.  It makes me feel like a two year old in a candy shop who can't buy anything unless they have a tantrum for it.  I guess begging is hard because when I am kittening and serving, I want to do so with grace and beauty and begging brings me down. Begging takes me to childhood.  I don't feel graceful when I beg. 

I guess this could be a turn on though, watching your pet struggle for grace whilst struggling to beg.  Master says he's not a sadist..the rare times he makes me beg makes me think otherwise of him !

~dancer



< Message edited by desertdancer -- 12/24/2007 12:57:32 AM >

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* Shimmy Shimmy *

(in reply to JennyGrl)
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RE: begging - 12/24/2007 1:35:47 AM   
NorthernGent


Posts: 8730
Joined: 7/10/2006
Status: offline 		Begging isn't second nature, and there are a few good reasons:

1) Pride.
2) Insecurity.
3) Conditioning - we're conditioned to be orderly and restrained.

For those who struggle, encouragement and patience from your Doms will help; similarly, some effort from yourselves to let yourselves go will be useful - "shy bairns get no broth"!

I'd think about suggesting to your Doms that they may want to lead you down the path with a spot of encouragement. As ever, it's a learning process: you don't get it right first time? never mind, get back on the horse and try again.

_____________________________

I have the courage to be a coward - but not beyond my limits.

Sooner or later, the man who wins is the man who thinks he can.

(in reply to beltainefaerie)
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RE: begging - 12/24/2007 3:14:27 AM   
Rushemery


Posts: 310
Joined: 9/10/2007
Status: offline 		Dancer, sure it can be a turn on, for me watching your face go threw the emotions of going against your normal personality would bring a huge smile to my face, I would think he gets that 5 sec. stare first before you start and I bet hes grinning before he even says it, 

(in reply to NorthernGent)
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RE: begging - 12/24/2007 3:25:55 AM   
desertdancer


Posts: 1095
Joined: 5/12/2006
Status: offline 		5 seconds..more like 5 minutes !  I can actually feel myself growing smaller..kinda like Alice when she sipped from the bottle that said "drink me"  

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* Shimmy Shimmy *

(in reply to Rushemery)
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RE: begging - 12/24/2007 3:34:28 AM   
Sabella


Posts: 265
Joined: 7/26/2005
Status: offline 		Begging isn't the tough part for me - once we've reached that stage it's easy, it's been determined what I want! It's the part BEFORE that that can get tough. Expressing what it is that I want. Now if it's a conversation of "you want THIS?" YES! "Then beg for it" well that's easy. But if it's "what do you want?" um. "SAY IT!" *cringe* "NOW!" I want you to do XYZ "Good girl, now beg for it" OOohhh

_____________________________

“The giant Grof was hit in one eye by a stone,
and that eye turned inward so that it looked into his mind and he died of what he saw there.”
From The Forgotten Beasts of Eld, by Patricia A. McKillip

(in reply to Rushemery)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: begging - 12/24/2007 5:10:01 AM   
beltainefaerie


Posts: 610
Joined: 4/15/2006
Status: offline 		It has been nice to see that I am not the only one and to hear a few suggestions. 

Thanks LA for the links!

To Rushemery and LivingInSin, I must add that I am one of those subs that goes non-verbal during play.  All my joy, terror, desire, etc, is expressed through my moans, pleading eyes, and body language, but not usually words.  I tremble and whimper and cry.  Often, he simply enjoys these natural responses.  If Master desires my speech, he tells me, in making me count strokes, beg or whatnot.  "Thank You, Master" seems to be the only thing I can manage on my own, unless in response to a direct question or directive.  I always answer and fairly immediately, but words simply do not come naturally in my subspace.  There is nothing wrong with me, or my relationship with my Master, I just want to get more fluid with words, because I know he would enjoy it.  As part of service to him, I am always striving to improve my skills at things he enjoys, and since he likes to hear me beg, I wish I could come up with more than, "Please, Master,__________".  I want more creativity, especially since in my normal life I am very verbose. 

NorthernGent, I definitely think it is especially # 2 and 3 that you mentioned, for me.  Master has never complained about my begging and he is very encouraging.  He certainly rewards my efforts and acknowledges that he knows I am doing something which is hard for me.  I just want to be more comfortable doing it and/or have more creativity in what I say.

Sabella, I adore that part too.  I love being made to say things that are difficult for me. (and I've been told it makes me blush pretty)

I look forward to seeing what others have to say.

(in reply to Sabella)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: begging - 12/24/2007 5:12:18 AM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline 		Honestly,  I wish I had the problem of being nonverbal during play....I'm sure the neighbors do too.

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I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to beltainefaerie)
Profile   Post #: 20
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