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This is my understanding regarding the use of the honorific "Master". No, He need not own a slave to become or remain a Master. Whether searching or not, a single Man can be a "Master" if He has chosen to pursue M/s relationships as opposed to other things on offer at the BDSM banquet. A Master seeks a slave; one who wishes to be owned and will not set limits.

A "Dominant" is a Man who has chosen a D/s relationship; He will pursue a D/s relationship with a submissive woman and she will have hard and soft limits, which He will stretch but always respect.

Men do not lose Their identiities as "Master" or "Dominant" while developing Their experience or searching, but some have difficulty accepting that a submissive woman or slave They have contacted will (in my opinion) wish to address Them by Their first names, not as "Master", "Dominant" or "Sir".

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ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

I have issues with the way the word "Master" is used. This is just my opinion folks; it in no way makes it a rule or a law. Just a view.

I just had a discussion through IMs that started like this:

"Hi! 25 yo Master, new to the scene, looking for a female sub or slave."

Since he was obviously a novice and didn't currently have a slave or submissive, I asked him what made him a "Master"? (By which he was rather offended)

Webster's defines a Master as: 1) A man who rules over others a) head of household b) an employer c) one who owns a slave or animal 2) A person very skilled or able in some work, profession or science. (This is the abbreviated version)

In my thoughts a Master is someone that has achieved a high level of learning in a special area. For example: a Master Electrician or a Master?s Degree in Business Administration. In this context it means that you cannot declare yourself a "Master", someone else has to give that title to you. In some of the societies in the BDSM D/s realm this would mean that you would earn your ?leathers?. A status bestowed upon you by other Masters. In the very least, I believe that you are not a "Master" until someone else calls you one.

Following that line of thought my Master mentored for two years under another Dominant learning techniques and safety. He is at the very least proficient in every area of play that he engages in and in some cases considered to be an expert on the subject, giving lectures to local groups. He has studied the protocol and the positions that are part of some societies. He has made an effort to become a "Master".

So, the next line of thought would be that a Master would be one who has an "owned" submissive or slave. Under that context it would mean that unless you currently own a submissive or slave, you are not a Master but a Dominant.

So, when someone asks you, "What makes you a Master?" What's your answer?

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So, the next line of thought would be that a Master would be one who has an "owned" submissive or slave. Under that context it would mean that unless you currently own a submissive or slave, you are not a Master but a Dominant.

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ORIGINAL: MstrssPassion

I have always enjoyed your quote, "*Dominate is a verb, Dominant is a noun. You cannot be a verb.*"

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So, when someone asks you, "What makes you a Master?" What's your answer?

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ORIGINAL: pup

A lot of Sir's and Madam's in my circle do not use Mistress or Master intentionally as it feels to them a title that means you have learned it all, and have nothing else to learn.

God forbid I should ever Master an art, why would I keep forward on that path?

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ORIGINAL: APhacetoSit

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So, when someone asks you, "What makes you a Master?" What's your answer?

the answer is that you make me a Master is your choice to accept me (or anyone) in that role.
i spent a great deal of time in the military pondering the use of Sir and Ma'am to junior and less experienced people. i found it generally tended to distract them for long enough to get done what needed to be done. Arguing over what to call someone is fruitless. Believing that any title empowers them is a matter of personal choice.

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ORIGINAL: ManOwner

I despise the title "Mistress." It is archaic, gendered, diminutive bullshit. Also irksome to me is the double meaning of the word. "The mistress," as they say, "is what's between the mister and the mattress."

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Yes, except "dominant" isn't a noun (except in music). It's an adjective. Since you have Oxford handy, look it up.

Lordandmaster

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dominant
A noun
1 dominant

(music) the fifth note of the diatonic scale
Category Tree:
abstraction
╚relation
╚social_relation
╚communication
╚written_communication; written_language
╚writing
╚notation; notational_system
╚musical_notation
╚note; musical_note; tone
╚dominant
B adjective
1 dominant

exercising influence or control; "television plays a dominant role in molding public opinion"; "the dominant partner in the marriage"

2 dominant

of genes; producing the same phenotype whether its allele is identical or dissimilar

http://www.wordreference.com/definition/dominant

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ORIGINAL: ManOwner

It doesn't feel right to me to use the word "Master" as a descriptive term. I regard it as a form of address only, and a good one. I despise the title "Mistress." It is archaic, gendered, diminutive bullshit. Also irksome to me is the double meaning of the word. "The mistress," as they say, "is what's between the mister and the mattress."

Before I joined the online kink community, I always thought a slave should call me "Master." I hate that I have grown accustomed to "Mistress" instead, and now "Master" sounds strange to me. I really hate the fact that male subs are not used to calling a female "Master," and I have to explain my point of view to them, and then they still don't quite get it. It's discursive violence against women, if you ask me.

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ManOwner:

Before I joined the online kink community, I always thought a slave should call me "Master." I hate that I have grown accustomed to "Mistress" instead, and now "Master" sounds strange to me. I really hate the fact that male subs are not used to calling a female "Master," and I have to explain my point of view to them, and then they still don't quite get it. It's discursive violence against women, if you ask me.

OddBall:

Yes "Mistress" has been used in the vanilla world for "the other woman" and is certainly used with derision by the jilted spouse. I would venture to say that your sub(s) would only use it with respect. Now the mister and mattress remark did give me a chuckle but i'm sure that either lady in the infidelity would find it hurtful for differing reasons.

The word "Mistress" is now violence against women? Oh come on. I would not belittle abused women by trying to equate a gender specific term with abuse. In the BDSM realm it is gender specific respect. Let me ask this, do you also dislike the use of Ma'am, Madam, or Miss and want to be addressed as Sir? Or how about any other job/title with a masculine and feminine? I can clearly see it is a touchy matter with you but, of course, I am not privy to those details.

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ORIGINAL: ManOwner


Discursive violence, at least as I use the term, means causing harm through discourse. I did not intend to equate it with physical violence against women, although I did purposefully choose that phrasing to invoke a sort of comparison between two forms of sexism.

I know that male subs use the title Mistress with respect. Only, to my ears it has never sounded half as submissive or deferential as Master. The Ma'am/Sir thing is more complicated. I don't think it's entirely the same thing as Master/Mistress, because throughout my life I have seen the title Master used for a female quite a bit. I do not feel right being called Sir, although I have noticed on Star Trek: TNG that they do call women that in The Future. Ma'am is about the only thing I feel comfortable being called by a male sub that I don't own, since I can't think of anything better at present.

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ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

So, when someone asks you, "What makes you a Master?" What's your answer?