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Switchs - 12/24/2007 8:06:33 PM

simplewhispers

Posts: 232
Joined: 12/27/2006
Status: offline

Confuse me, it seems to me that you either are dominate or you are not , submissive or you are not,in my opinion I would have trouble respecting a DOM that had allowed himself to be in a submissive state, and I did have one Dom tell me this evening that he would have the same issue with the sub,perhaps submission would not be sincere. Course I know this is only my opinion so I came here asking the ? Is the switch role more of a role play than anything else?

< Message edited by simplewhispers -- 12/24/2007 8:07:52 PM >

_____________________________

A silent woman is always more admired than a noisy one.
Season your admiration for a while With an attent ear. . .

simplewhispers

Post #: 1

RE: Switchs - 12/24/2007 8:18:03 PM

spanklette

Posts: 882
Joined: 2/22/2005
Status: offline

No...I am a switch...but, I am my Daddy's submissive partner and I really have no interest in being a Dominant partner for anything long term. Even if I was, that wouldn't make me any less submissive to my Daddy, as the two relationships are separate. One doesn't necessarily affect the other.

If Daddy enjoyed being a bottom, I would have no problem Topping Him and then returning to the status quo. Again, one dynamic wouldn't affect the other.

PS...I don't identify as a switch here because I don't want confusion as to whether I want to be a long term Dominant. The prospect doesn't interest me in the least, but it wouldn't bother me if either my Daddy or I did...it would just make life that much more interesting.

_____________________________

~spanklette~

"The important thing is this: to be able at any moment to sacrifice what we are for what we could become. " Charles du Bois

"Please don't shout, can't you see I'm not listening." Billie Myers

(in reply to simplewhispers)

Post #: 2

RE: Switchs - 12/24/2007 8:21:00 PM

summerblossom

Posts: 145
Joined: 11/17/2007
Status: offline

Just because your a switch, does not mean that you can't be sincere, honest, and trustworthy and it also doesn't mean that you don't take the lifestyle seriously. Don't judge someone by their title, judge them by their character on a long term basis and how they act.

(in reply to simplewhispers)

Post #: 3

RE: Switchs - 12/24/2007 8:23:08 PM

YourhandMyAss

Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline

It's nice to think one can be lumped into a simple are or are not box, however it don't always w*ork that way. People are far to complicated to fit into a box.

(in reply to summerblossom)

Post #: 4

RE: Switchs - 12/24/2007 8:25:35 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

I understand your difficulty with understanding this, but let me ask you- do you feel the same sort of relationship and energy "pull" with every single person you meet?

Switches simply are able to feel and be fulfilled by both a dominant pull AND a submissive pull depending on that particular relationship (or within the same one, but that's more rare).

Just like you don't feel a submissive pull to every and any person you happen by- but that doesn't mean your submission is role play when you DO feel and embrace it with someone.

< Message edited by LuckyAlbatross -- 12/24/2007 8:26:46 PM >

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to YourhandMyAss)

Post #: 5

RE: Switchs - 12/24/2007 8:46:19 PM

Einzelganger

Posts: 221
Joined: 4/8/2007
From: Orlando, FL
Status: offline

As far as a dom losing respect for having submitted at some point in time, remember that many dom/mes have submitted to another for educational purposes. As a result, I generally have alot of respect for them, as they truly know what it is they're putting their sub through; they've been there, done that, got the t-shirt, etc. Just my $0.02...

-Einzelgänger

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 6

RE: Switchs - 12/24/2007 8:56:15 PM

crouchingtigress

Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline

Sincerity never comes from the role you choose. Sincerity comes from how you choose to roll.

_____________________________

Service slut, durable plaything, and ponypenquincatdogpig, to Lee Harrington

This is him

"Its none of my buisness what other people think of me."

(in reply to Einzelganger)

Post #: 7

RE: Switchs - 12/24/2007 9:29:53 PM

Muttling

Posts: 1612
Joined: 9/30/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: simplewhispers

Confuse me, it seems to me that you either are dominate or you are not , submissive or you are not,in my opinion I would have trouble respecting a DOM that had allowed himself to be in a submissive state, and I did have one Dom tell me this evening that he would have the same issue with the sub,perhaps submission would not be sincere. Course I know this is only my opinion so I came here asking the ? Is the switch role more of a role play than anything else?

I would say that YOU need to learn how to respect OTHERS!!!!!!!

What meets your needs and pleases your or your Dom/Domme is totally irrelevant to the needs of others. Your need to define others by the definitions you define yourself is an EXTREME weakness.......one that should be avoided.

I am a switch. I love to be dominated and I love to dominate others.......but ONLY when the desire is mutual. I play with PURE dommes and PURE submissives, but I push them to show me their desire before I take my role in the play. When I am in a relationship it is very complicated and hard to find the right one. I seek a woman who can be self assured enough to sieze control or to let control go or to be my equal, depending upon her mood....or mine.

Switching is complicated. The fundamentals for me are a desire for a deep love AND a desire for a kinky relationship of equality. Such things are very rare and hard to find. I envy the pure submissives and the pure dominants, but that is not who I am.

(in reply to simplewhispers)

Post #: 8

RE: Switchs - 12/24/2007 10:19:23 PM

Phin

Posts: 1802
Joined: 2/26/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: crouchingtigress

Sincerity never comes from the role you choose. Sincerity comes from how you choose to roll.

nicely said... may I use that in my sig line?

_____________________________

"Isn't wonderful when our bruises show what we hide in the back of our heads?"Fayetteville band, Nephilym

"He is my angel, my devil, my naughty boy, but above anything else my Master"My girl sin

(in reply to crouchingtigress)

Post #: 9

RE: Switchs - 12/24/2007 10:29:06 PM

Muttling

Posts: 1612
Joined: 9/30/2007
Status: offline

ummmmm...................I hate to say that I missed the depth of your statement, but I TOTALLY missed it.

I second Phin's request and would like to make it my sig line. (with the proper acolades.)

(in reply to Phin)

Post #: 10

RE: Switchs - 12/24/2007 10:37:23 PM

laurell3

Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: simplewhispers

Confuse me, it seems to me that you either are dominate or you are not , submissive or you are not,in my opinion I would have trouble respecting a DOM that had allowed himself to be in a submissive state, and I did have one Dom tell me this evening that he would have the same issue with the sub,perhaps submission would not be sincere. Course I know this is only my opinion so I came here asking the ? Is the switch role more of a role play than anything else?

Like using skin color, weight, height, salary, etc., judging people by roles is rarely a good way to have any understanding of the person underneath.

I am a switch. My submission is completely uncompromised by it with a Dominant partner. My domination is equally uncompromised with a submissive partner. Neither are role play to me and I personally do not switch with the same person unless they are also a switch or I am ordered to and even then it's difficult as I identify with someone based on one or the other. Switches can be just a sub or just a Dom for the right person. The perception they all run around topping from the bottom or flipping their partner is just silly.

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to simplewhispers)

Post #: 11

RE: Switchs - 12/24/2007 10:56:48 PM

MaamJay

Posts: 2101
Joined: 9/2/2005
Status: offline

OP, what's the point of asking a question when you've already made up your mind? If you'd come here asking "I don't understand how switches go from one to the other, would somebody enlighten me please?" then you would have appeared open-minded and might have learned more. You must realise that what works in your mind doesn't have to be what works for others. Maybe you are an all-or-nothing, black-or-white type of person, some of us have the good fortune to be able to work with all the shades in between. Don't knock us for that and we won't knock you!

In My case I am BOTH Dominant and submissive preferably at the same time with 2 entirely different people. Even switch isn't a particularly good label for Me, I've been described as a Duality, and that's a better fit. It is eminently possible for me to give full submission to Master whilst retaining control of My sub/slave. It's as natural to Me as breathing. I don't compromise on either. And My subs have NEVER lost respect for Me as a Dominant even as they watch me sub to Master. If anything, I earn more respect as they see me serve Him well, and watch what He can dish out! They know I ask nothing of them that i am not willing to give myself to Him.

Here I am happy to identify primarily in My Dominant role as it is that side of Me that is now seeking a 24/7 sub to live with Master and Myself. The sub side of me is well and truly content with Master.

I suggest you open up your mind to new ideas and possibilities ... don't be too quick to reach opinions and to judge ... and you will be amazed at what you can learn!

Maam Jay aka violet[A]

_____________________________

Life is a song ... and I love singing it! (By me!)

(in reply to simplewhispers)

Post #: 12

RE: Switchs - 12/24/2007 11:11:23 PM

hisannabelle

Posts: 1992
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Tallahassee, FL, USA
Status: offline

greetings simplewhispers,

my dominant has switched in the past, and i have considered taking a submissive of my own, but although i've topped him (for sm purposes) since we got together, he is very much my dominant and i am very much his slave regardless of whatever else is going on.

i choose not to identify as switch because i am a slave at heart who would like the emotional experience of being served by someone...not that i would choose to do so out of a need to extert dominance, which i don't really have. he identifies as dominant because that's what he is, in this relationship. he may have been partly a switch in his previous relationship, but dominant is who he now. that's open to change, but not likely.

we are both polyamorous and both bisexual (well, he's curious), so i can see us looking at other ways of putting relationships together, given our history, despite the fact that we both do see ourselves as currently fitting the categories of "master and slave." it makes a lot of sense to me personally...but then i'm a love no limits kind of girl. i can love anyone regardless of gender, age, orientation...for secondary relationships, that'll all just depend on how well the person fits with what everyone's needs are at that moment.

respectfully,
annabelle

_____________________________

a'ishah (the artist formerly known as annabelle)
i have the kind of beauty that moves...

(in reply to simplewhispers)

Post #: 13

RE: Switchs - 12/24/2007 11:23:30 PM

simplewhispers

Posts: 232
Joined: 12/27/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Muttling

quote:

ORIGINAL: simplewhispers

Confuse me, it seems to me that you either are dominate or you are not , submissive or you are not,in my opinion I would have trouble respecting a DOM that had allowed himself to be in a submissive state, and I did have one Dom tell me this evening that he would have the same issue with the sub,perhaps submission would not be sincere. Course I know this is only my opinion so I came here asking the ? Is the switch role more of a role play than anything else?

I would say that YOU need to learn how to respect OTHERS!!!!!!!

What meets your needs and pleases your or your Dom/Domme is totally irrelevant to the needs of others. Your need to define others by the definitions you define yourself is an EXTREME weakness.......one that should be avoided.

I am a switch. I love to be dominated and I love to dominate others.......but ONLY when the desire is mutual. I play with PURE dommes and PURE submissives, but I push them to show me their desire before I take my role in the play. When I am in a relationship it is very complicated and hard to find the right one. I seek a woman who can be self assured enough to sieze control or to let control go or to be my equal, depending upon her mood....or mine.

Switching is complicated. The fundamentals for me are a desire for a deep love AND a desire for a kinky relationship of equality. Such things are very rare and hard to find. I envy the pure submissives and the pure dominants, but that is not who I am.

I am here asking questions trying to learn, I have not judged you or anyone else, nor do I disrespect you or anyone else IT IS A QUESTION , with my opinion , I realize there are many opinions which is WHY I phrased this as a question and told you how I felt, I was looking for other views. Simply other views. AGAIN I AM NOT disrespecting others or the role you play , simply seeking understanding.

_____________________________

A silent woman is always more admired than a noisy one.
Season your admiration for a while With an attent ear. . .

simplewhispers

(in reply to Muttling)

Post #: 14

RE: Switchs - 12/24/2007 11:25:51 PM

simplewhispers

Posts: 232
Joined: 12/27/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: crouchingtigress

Sincerity never comes from the role you choose. Sincerity comes from how you choose to roll.

Very interesting , thank you for your reply

_____________________________

A silent woman is always more admired than a noisy one.
Season your admiration for a while With an attent ear. . .

simplewhispers

(in reply to crouchingtigress)

Post #: 15

RE: Switchs - 12/24/2007 11:27:31 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

It would be helpful to understand Simple that when you say "I find it hard to respect a dom who is a switch" it is as bad as saying "I find it hard to respect a woman who is submissive."

You're basing your level of respect of someone based on their innate orientation- if you don't feel your innate orientation should be an issue when it comes to some stranger respecting you, you really shouldn't use it towards others.

I understand you find it hard to UNDERSTAND the concept and experience of a switch and your questions are very common and legitimate. But when you bring up simply respecting someone for their life and orientation, you add a lot more load than I think you mean. I respect your honesty for admitting to having an irrational prejudice, but that's what a lot of people are reacting to, not just your questions.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to simplewhispers)

Post #: 16

RE: Switchs - 12/24/2007 11:28:21 PM

simplewhispers

Posts: 232
Joined: 12/27/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: spanklette

No...I am a switch...but, I am my Daddy's submissive partner and I really have no interest in being a Dominant partner for anything long term. Even if I was, that wouldn't make me any less submissive to my Daddy, as the two relationships are separate. One doesn't necessarily affect the other.

If Daddy enjoyed being a bottom, I would have no problem Topping Him and then returning to the status quo. Again, one dynamic wouldn't affect the other.

PS...I don't identify as a switch here because I don't want confusion as to whether I want to be a long term Dominant. The prospect doesn't interest me in the least, but it wouldn't bother me if either my Daddy or I did...it would just make life that much more interesting.

Very nice reply , thank you for taking the time to provide the information to me.

_____________________________

A silent woman is always more admired than a noisy one.
Season your admiration for a while With an attent ear. . .

simplewhispers

(in reply to spanklette)

Post #: 17

RE: Switchs - 12/24/2007 11:29:50 PM

simplewhispers

Posts: 232
Joined: 12/27/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

I understand your difficulty with understanding this, but let me ask you- do you feel the same sort of relationship and energy "pull" with every single person you meet?

Switches simply are able to feel and be fulfilled by both a dominant pull AND a submissive pull depending on that particular relationship (or within the same one, but that's more rare).

Just like you don't feel a submissive pull to every and any person you happen by- but that doesn't mean your submission is role play when you DO feel and embrace it with someone.

You are correct I do not feel the same with each person I meet. This gives me something to think about. Thank you for your response.

_____________________________

A silent woman is always more admired than a noisy one.
Season your admiration for a while With an attent ear. . .

simplewhispers

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 18

RE: Switchs - 12/24/2007 11:35:53 PM

simplewhispers

Posts: 232
Joined: 12/27/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

It would be helpful to understand Simple that when you say "I find it hard to respect a dom who is a switch" it is as bad as saying "I find it hard to respect a woman who is submissive."

You're basing your level of respect of someone based on their innate orientation- if you don't feel your innate orientation should be an issue when it comes to some stranger respecting you, you really shouldn't use it towards others.

I understand you find it hard to UNDERSTAND the concept and experience of a switch and your questions are very common and legitimate. But when you bring up simply respecting someone for their life and orientation, you add a lot more load than I think you mean. I respect your honesty for admitting to having an irrational prejudice, but that's what a lot of people are reacting to, not just your questions.

New way to ask ............ I do not understand the roles of switches, it confuses my mind. Nothing to do with any one person in paticular, so someone please explain to me how if I were to meet a switch how I could look at the situation differently.

_____________________________

A silent woman is always more admired than a noisy one.
Season your admiration for a while With an attent ear. . .

simplewhispers

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 19

RE: Switchs - 12/24/2007 11:42:23 PM

catize

Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline

Few people are dominant or submissive in every aspect of their lives. If you apply that thought to wiitwd perhaps switching would be easier for you to understand and accept.

_____________________________

"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

(in reply to simplewhispers)

Post #: 20

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