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RE: Switchs - 12/24/2007 11:46:05 PM

simplewhispers

Posts: 232
Joined: 12/27/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: catize

Few people are dominant or submissive in every aspect of their lives. If you apply that thought to wiitwd perhaps switching would be easier for you to understand and accept.

This is true, I am both people in my life as to how I live it now, more dominate in choice making than I would like to be, just thinking it would be different in this lifestyle, thank you for your reply

_____________________________

A silent woman is always more admired than a noisy one.
Season your admiration for a while With an attent ear. . .

simplewhispers

(in reply to catize)

Post #: 21

RE: Switchs - 12/24/2007 11:51:17 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: simplewhispers
New way to ask ............ I do not understand the roles of switches, it confuses my mind. Nothing to do with any one person in paticular, so someone please explain to me how if I were to meet a switch how I could look at the situation differently.

I'm not sure what your prior experience is, but I'm somewhat surprised you haven't met one already- you've certainly been chatting with them in several threads here.

Perhaps the solution is to realize that there's nothing to realize- it's just people being fulfilled in the relationship dynamics which work for them.

However, I understand that's not the same as really getting "switches" and for that the thing that will most are
just getting to know switches. Seeing how it works in person and how very little confusion there is to the whole thing can go a lot farther than hours of intellectual gymnastics.

And to repeat- how you operate in your personal intimate relationship really means very little in relation to your personality and how you operate in any other relationship in your life.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to simplewhispers)

Post #: 22

RE: Switchs - 12/25/2007 12:13:52 AM

CuriousLord

Posts: 3911
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline

I have no intimate experience with a proper "switch". But, thinking about it, I'm pretty young. Most of my sub/slave's were vanilla before meeting me. I'm pretty sure that they can be either a sub/slave or vanilla now. While I suppose most of us don't consider it off the bat, isn't that being a switch? There is quite a difference between vanilla independence and slavery's demand for obidience.

In a way, I have some respect for switch's. True, I'm sure many are either confused about their identity or just enjoy a variety of roleplaying positions, but isn't it also entirely possible that someone simply has a more sophosticated identity?

(in reply to simplewhispers)

Post #: 23

RE: Switchs - 12/25/2007 3:43:39 AM

BiteGirl

Posts: 293
Joined: 4/27/2006
Status: offline

It's just like bisexuality... people who are "straight" and "gay", can't understand it. But in essence, we are all a little bi, in nature, just as a lot of "subs" and "doms" switch, "for the right person". It's all a game, they just want a lable for themselves. Makes their lives easyer. Other people just don't have time to restrain themselves as life is too short.

(in reply to catize)

Post #: 24

RE: Switchs - 12/25/2007 3:53:52 AM

KnOcala

Posts: 260
Joined: 12/19/2007
Status: offline

I list myself as a switch. I have a desire to submit to a woman strong enough to "break me" but have never been involved with one. I have had several relationships where I was dominant and enjoyed it but my lack of experiences and knowledge cause me to hesitate just saying I am dom. I hope to learn and experience as a sub but ultimately I see myself only being dominant. It feels right.

(in reply to catize)

Post #: 25

RE: Switchs - 12/25/2007 5:22:57 AM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

After having met and talked to and loved many people who are switches, I think that being a switch is probably more the norm than we'd like to believe. Much like I suspect being bisexual is more the norm for human beings.

I, personally, feel more dominant when someone who identifies as a switch kneels to me and submits to me, when he can also then be owned by me, that's an incredible rush.

While in BDSM I'm not a switch, it does nothing for me and whenever I've tried it, it frankly was very negative an often scary for the top, look at mundane life. We have to bend to others, we have to lead others, depends on the situation. To a degree I think most people can do that without much trauma.

We aren't as different from vanilla folks as we may like to believe. I think we (collectively) just are more conscious about our choices and more concerned with things being a choice or being good for the individual.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

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(in reply to simplewhispers)

Post #: 26

RE: Switchs - 12/25/2007 5:39:32 AM

chellekitty

Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: simplewhispers
New way to ask ............ I do not understand the roles of switches, it confuses my mind. Nothing to do with any one person in paticular, so someone please explain to me how if I were to meet a switch how I could look at the situation differently.

if you were to meet a switch you would interact with them as if they were human, just as if you were to meet a submissive or a dominant (the word is dominant, btw, not dominate)....people in this lifestyle don't walk around with their chosen lifestyle role labels printed on their forehead...you usually don't know for sure when you meet them...often you don't know until you are intimate with them...so, if you don't want to be intimate with someone who has switched...umm, don't be...

my not so humble opinion,
chelle

< Message edited by chellekitty -- 12/25/2007 5:40:02 AM >

_____________________________

One thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve. ~Albert Schweitzer

(in reply to simplewhispers)

Post #: 27

RE: Switchs - 12/25/2007 8:03:52 AM

mhawk

Posts: 509
Joined: 11/5/2007
From: Washington
Status: offline

my Mistress is a switch. it's just the way She is. She is only submissive to our Lord and that is what works for Her.but when it comes to the dynamics of having me here as our Lord's slave and Her slave as well,She is very Dominate in our interactions with eachother.it is something that is more "fitting" for her.i can't really explain it other than that.

(in reply to simplewhispers)

Post #: 28

RE: Switchs - 12/25/2007 8:19:03 AM

simplewhispers

Posts: 232
Joined: 12/27/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: chellekitty

quote:

ORIGINAL: simplewhispers
New way to ask ............ I do not understand the roles of switches, it confuses my mind. Nothing to do with any one person in paticular, so someone please explain to me how if I were to meet a switch how I could look at the situation differently.

if you were to meet a switch you would interact with them as if they were human, just as if you were to meet a submissive or a dominant (the word is dominant, btw, not dominate)....people in this lifestyle don't walk around with their chosen lifestyle role labels printed on their forehead...you usually don't know for sure when you meet them...often you don't know until you are intimate with them...so, if you don't want to be intimate with someone who has switched...umm, don't be...

my not so humble opinion,
chelle

Treating someone as being human is not nor has it ever been an issue for me . As far as having a relationship with a switch it probably would not be an issue with me unless I knew it first then as I stated in the first post, I think I would find it hard to issue the respect needed and wanted to someone who had been a switch, thus the reason I asked for help in explaining , thank you for those that have done what I asked,and thank you for the correction of my spelling,still learning ......

_____________________________

A silent woman is always more admired than a noisy one.
Season your admiration for a while With an attent ear. . .

simplewhispers

(in reply to chellekitty)

Post #: 29

RE: Switchs - 12/25/2007 8:39:27 AM

summerblossom

Posts: 145
Joined: 11/17/2007
Status: offline

so simplewhispers...you go down the list and thank everyone but me for their thoughtful replies..was mine not thoughtful enough for you?

(in reply to simplewhispers)

Post #: 30

RE: Switchs - 12/25/2007 8:58:01 AM

OldBastardly1

Posts: 651
Joined: 7/22/2006
From: Atlanta, GA
Status: offline

you have *got* to be kidding.....right?

_____________________________

Old Bastard

"You cannot make footprints in the sands of time if you're sitting on your butt. And who wants to make buttprints in the sands of time?" -- Bob Moawad

(in reply to summerblossom)

Post #: 31

RE: Switchs - 12/25/2007 9:13:02 AM

LotusSong

Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline

Oh you just opened a can of worms here. It goes like this:

The question will be met with-

I am only domme/dom/sub to my partner.. but the opposite to everyone else.
I'm extremely talented..why should I limit myself?
I need to cover all my bases
I don't live in a box like YOU

..then it goes..
Some say: But when I submit/Dominate.. I seek a TRUE Dom/Domme/submissive (meaning one that doesn't switch.. hence they then rummage through the "boxes" they so detest)

There are many threads on this in the Ask A Switch forum.

_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.

(in reply to simplewhispers)

Post #: 32

RE: Switchs - 12/25/2007 9:43:29 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: summerblossom
so simplewhispers...you go down the list and thank everyone but me for their thoughtful replies..was mine not thoughtful enough for you?

Dang, do you realize how catty and bitchy you've been making yourself look since you started posting?

Yes, it can be irksome when someone goes down the list to thank everyone and not thank you- but that's a lot better than coming out and directly saying "Except yours, that was crap."

You pointing it out and making focus get put on you is just really tactless and unnecessary.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to summerblossom)

Post #: 33

RE: Switchs - 12/25/2007 10:06:12 AM

OldBastardly1

Posts: 651
Joined: 7/22/2006
From: Atlanta, GA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: summerblossom
so simplewhispers...you go down the list and thank everyone but me for their thoughtful replies..was mine not thoughtful enough for you?

Dang, do you realize how catty and bitchy you've been making yourself look since you started posting?

Yes, it can be irksome when someone goes down the list to thank everyone and not thank you- but that's a lot better than coming out and directly saying "Except yours, that was crap."

You pointing it out and making focus get put on you is just really tactless and unnecessary.

Yeah....what she said.

_____________________________

Old Bastard

"You cannot make footprints in the sands of time if you're sitting on your butt. And who wants to make buttprints in the sands of time?" -- Bob Moawad

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 34

RE: Switchs - 12/25/2007 10:12:40 AM

simplewhispers

Posts: 232
Joined: 12/27/2006
Status: offline

BLANKET"thank you "

_____________________________

A silent woman is always more admired than a noisy one.
Season your admiration for a while With an attent ear. . .

simplewhispers

(in reply to OldBastardly1)

Post #: 35

RE: Switchs - 12/25/2007 10:13:10 AM

MichaelR

Posts: 9
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CuriousLord

I have no intimate experience with a proper "switch". But, thinking about it, I'm pretty young. Most of my sub/slave's were vanilla before meeting me. I'm pretty sure that they can be either a sub/slave or vanilla now. While I suppose most of us don't consider it off the bat, isn't that being a switch? There is quite a difference between vanilla independence and slavery's demand for obidience.

In a way, I have some respect for switch's. True, I'm sure many are either confused about their identity or just enjoy a variety of roleplaying positions, but isn't it also entirely possible that someone simply has a more sophosticated identity?

My initial reaction to your post was to wonder why you imply that independence and submission are mutually exclusive. (granting, of course, that perhaps you didn't and I only inferred that) . My next reaction was to follow that out and wonder if a viewpoint where those things ARE contradictory could be part of some peoples difficulty in "getting it" when talking about switches.

I confess, myself, to not "getting it" on anything more than an intellectual level. No more than I "get" why people are gay, or use drugs, or enjoy rollercoasters, or have unfailing belief in some deity. Intellectually, perhaps, but not in any way that allows me to truly grasp the scope of these things as those that embrace them might. Some things, outside my own experience or desires, will never click with me enough to truly understand them on any deep or personal level.

To the OP:

Keep asking questions. Sometimes you get dogged for the manner in which you present it, sometimes for having the audacity to ask in the first place. But, at worst you get to observe how the respondents react to things; at best, you gain some info that might help you get a better grasp on something you weren't understanding.

(in reply to CuriousLord)

Post #: 36

RE: Switchs - 12/25/2007 11:26:55 AM

simplewhispers

Posts: 232
Joined: 12/27/2006
Status: offline

thank you for being kind

_____________________________

A silent woman is always more admired than a noisy one.
Season your admiration for a while With an attent ear. . .

simplewhispers

(in reply to MichaelR)

Post #: 37

RE: Switchs - 12/25/2007 12:16:25 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

I can't imagine being an auto mechanic. That doesn't mean I don't acknowledge they exist and are good at what they do.

Personally I couldn't imagine switching with the same partner day to day, but that's a problem with me.

But there are people I've met who I have no trouble telling what to do when they are confused. And then there are those few who I go to for advice. So switching with different people seems easier to me. But that just shows my limitations, not theirs.

To say this another way. I'm a het, sub female. And yet there are billions of men I won't submit to. I submit to one. If I can refuse to submit to anybody else, am I just role playing? Because by the op's viewpoint a twue sub would submit to everyone. Since obviously this isn't how it works, then obviously just because the op can't imagine it doesn't mean switching doesn't work for others.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to catize)

Post #: 38

RE: Switchs - 12/25/2007 12:53:07 PM

KiandPhoenix

Posts: 205
Joined: 8/1/2007
Status: offline

I don't have a problem with it, and my lady is a switch. She only subs to men, and is domme to women in general. Recently she has decided she can domme to some men as well, but to me she is always a sub. So even though she is a switch, her role within our relationship never changes, and does not cause a problem. If she begins a relationship with another person as a domme, then it will add a new aspect to our relationship in that I will help direct her in her learning process, but it wont affect our relationship dynamic.

She, on the other hand, has some problems with seeing someone out of their role. If a dom decided to be a sub once, she can never have the respect for them as a dom that she would a dom who she never saw sub. At least that is what she once told me. Now I personally think that she would be fine with a dom who she never physically saw with her own eyes being in the sub role. I think something psychological happens when you see someone on the sub end of a relationship.

~Ki

(in reply to catize)

Post #: 39

RE: Switchs - 12/25/2007 12:59:42 PM

MadRabbit

Posts: 3460
Joined: 8/9/2006
Status: offline

I think the real confusion is that people automatically assume that every switch is dominant the first 5 minutes and then submissive the next 5 minutes with the same partner as opposed to the role is determined by who the partner is. Submissive to Jack, but dominant to Jim.

Of course, I am sure despite my post that people will continue to be confused by switches and secertly continue to hate them and ignore their existance so they won't lose their sense of security in their perfect little black and white outline of how BDSM works.

_____________________________

Advice for New Dominants
The Unpolitically Correct Lifestyle Definitions

Obama is NOT the Messiah! He's just a VERY NAUGHTY BOY

(in reply to simplewhispers)

Post #: 40

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