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Alexedra -> RE: Switchs (sic) (12/26/2007 8:31:41 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: simplewhispers
Confuse me, it seems to me that you either are dominate or you are not , submissive or you are not,in my opinion I would have trouble respecting a DOM that had allowed himself to be in a submissive state, and I did have one Dom tell me this evening that he would have the same issue with the sub,perhaps submission would not be sincere. Course I know this is only my opinion so I came here asking the ? Is the switch role more of a role play than anything else?
I've read through the whole thread, and agree with much of what has already been said by other posters: Asking questions to learn is great, but the way this question is asked is off-putting. Nevertheless, I will attempt to look past the awkward language and understand the original poster's point. I will add some comments from my perspective.
I am a true switch in the sense that I have a deep, ongoing need both to top and to bottom, and I can do this with the same person. However, I am in no way submissive. I am dominant where being dominant comes naturally, and I defer where someone is superior to me in knowledge or ability. I can be dominant or submissive in role playing, although I find being submissive difficult to impossible with somebody I don't respect.
But how would someone trusting me enough to offer himself up to me in a submissive state, to bottom for me, cause me to lose respect for him? It would not! Instead, our relationship would have to be one of utter respect and trust to begin with before I would commit to that act. I am much more attracted to naturally dominant, powerful, successful men than to submissive men. Having a dominant man submit to my will for the duration of a scene is a powerful erotic experience.
Many of my play partners (all of whom so far have been male) have been able to switch, but some of them have a hard time switching with the same person. They can bottom to one person, but top another. Some get a different kind of emotional experience, or charge, from topping than from bottoming.
I don't think anybody should force themselves (let alone others) to perform in a role with which they are uncomfortable. It's not the same thing - but just as an example, I don't do anything sexually with women even though that would be a popular and pretty party scene, because I'm just not into it. So if somebody doesn't feel comfortable switching, then so be it. I just happen to be more versatile than most people when it comes to topping & bottoming.
It's really hard to put labels on the type of relationship(s) I'm looking for. That's why I say "a perfect switch for a perfect switch" in my profile - I'd love to find someone like myself who is willing to think outside the box - play and just have fun with it.
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