Aura of violence

Aura of violence (Full Version)

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Level -> Aura of violence (12/25/2007 12:13:36 PM)
Something IrishMist said in another thread caught my eye. quote: I am attracted to the aura of violence that a man has about him. Any thoughts on this? *thanks for the thread idea, IM [:D]*

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Aura of violence (12/25/2007 12:16:12 PM)
It can definitely be part of attraction for me- but it's not what really makes me want to get into a commitment. That's much more a long term, slow burn consistency and strength of character, that thread of steel in someone. Aura of violence is just like the yummy caramel ribbon in the ice cream for me.

DesFIP -> RE: Aura of violence (12/25/2007 12:18:22 PM)
Doesn't work for me. Aura of violence translates to anger management problems. Been there, bought the tee shirt, never again.

sexyred1 -> RE: Aura of violence (12/25/2007 12:20:14 PM)
It is attractive, but it all depends on how manageable it is. If he has no control over his impulses, then Houston we have a problem. If he can channel it into some constructive play scenarios, then fine. And sometimes an aura can be misread.

MadRabbit -> RE: Aura of violence (12/25/2007 12:24:07 PM)
I happen to work with a man who has an "aura of violence". He is a lot like "Bad Santa". A miserable emotional cripple who spents his entire life at the bottom of a bottle because he can't cope with how spiritually devoid he is. He fills the entire workplace with a black funk with his despair and "I am going to snap and punch somebody" attitude. Amazingly enough, despite his complete lack of communication skills, self hatred and hatred of others, violent emotional instability, and self absorbed narcissism, he has a girlfriend and she continues to somehow stay with him for over a year. He has served as a powerful counter-role model for me as the kind of man I hope to never become.

juliaoceania -> RE: Aura of violence (12/25/2007 12:30:13 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP Doesn't work for me. Aura of violence translates to anger management problems. Been there, bought the tee shirt, never again. I would rather agree with this.... I do not think being able to be violent as being attractive. That being said, I like knowing my man will not back down to those attempting to bully him

celticlord2112 -> RE: Aura of violence (12/25/2007 12:32:21 PM)
The power to create, the power to defend, the power to protect, is at times indistinguishable from the power to destroy. Perhaps, for some, "violence" equates to "power".

sexyred1 -> RE: Aura of violence (12/25/2007 12:35:04 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MadRabbit I happen to work with a man who has an "aura of violence". He is a lot like "Bad Santa". A miserable emotional cripple who spents his entire life at the bottom of a bottle because he can't cope with how spiritually devoid he is. He fills the entire workplace with a black funk with his despair and "I am going to snap and punch somebody" attitude. Amazingly enough, despite his complete lack of communication skills, self hatred and hatred of others, violent emotional instability, and self absorbed narcissism, he has a girlfriend and she continues to somehow stay with him for over a year. He has served as a powerful counter-role model for me as the kind of man I hope to never become. Amazingly enough, one never knows what goes on behind the closed doors of other's private relationships. You only know what you see of him and what he conveys to you, you have no idea how he treats her.

TreasureKY -> RE: Aura of violence (12/25/2007 12:35:20 PM)
I'm with celeste and MadRabbit on this one. "Aura of violence" holds no attraction for me and conjures only images of recklessness, anger and despair. While I greatly admire a man who has control over himself and his life, I'd prefer they not have that kind of angst to have to control. As all humans have their moments of weakness, I'd rather not risk experiencing up close those moments when he loses control.

MadRabbit -> RE: Aura of violence (12/25/2007 12:41:55 PM)
With such harsh judgements on another man, I figure it's at least fair to mention that I have my own little dark place that I can and have gone a few times, particularly in scenarios where I am being bullied, physically overpowered, or feeling weak/helpless. Blood-red, murderous, pure, bone breaking and head slamming rage where I am capable of doing things to a human being that I never thought I had it in to do. It's something I am aware of and even fear about myself when the right catalysts start to happen and I feel that energy boiling up inside of me. Edited to Add : What scares me the most is how much I like it. The same feeling of bliss I get when I am in sadist mode is the same feeling I get when I go there...only 100 times stronger.

Rianne -> RE: Aura of violence (12/25/2007 12:42:11 PM)
quote: I happen to work with a man who has an "aura of violence". He is a lot like "Bad Santa". A miserable emotional cripple who spents his entire life at the bottom of a bottle because he can't cope with how spiritually devoid he is. He fills the entire workplace with a black funk with his despair and "I am going to snap and punch somebody" attitude. Amazingly enough, despite his complete lack of communication skills, self hatred and hatred of others, violent emotional instability, and self absorbed narcissism, he has a girlfriend and she continues to somehow stay with him for over a year. He has served as a powerful counter-role model for me as the kind of man I hope to never become. I don't know if I've ever seen a more definitive or accurate description of my father when he was an active alcoholic. Then he got sober and whittled it down to quote: complete lack of communication skills, self hatred and hatred of others, violent emotional instability, and self absorbed narcissism, And he used to get amazing women...it always astounded me.

xiam -> RE: Aura of violence (12/25/2007 12:55:15 PM)
I heard someone say once, "I want a man who would be capable of killing me but would never actually follow through with it..." Food for thought. :)

TreasureKY -> RE: Aura of violence (12/25/2007 1:01:40 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MadRabbit With such harsh judgements on another man, I figure it's at least fair to mention that I have my own little dark place that I can and have gone a few times, particularly in scenarios where I am being bullied, physically overpowered, or feeling weak/helpless. Blood-red, murderous, pure, bone breaking and head slamming rage where I am capable of doing things to a human being that I never thought I had it in to do. It's something I am aware of and even fear about myself when the right catalysts start to happen and I feel that energy boiling up inside of me. I understand the place that you refer to, MR, but I do think there's a great difference between the ability to utilize violence when provoked or necessary and the persistent presence of chaos that the expression "aura of violence" invokes. FirmhandKY somewhat touched on that "dark place" in a description of himself... "I am a man who avoids conflict and violence, unless it is required, and then I don't half-step, I go for total death and destruction. I'm a pacifist who believes that violence is sometimes the only correct response." We all have our dark sides. The difference is between accepting that it exists, or being attracted to it.

LadyLupineNYC -> RE: Aura of violence (12/25/2007 1:11:23 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: xiam I heard someone say once, "I want a man who would be capable of killing me but would never actually follow through with it..." Food for thought. :) This is a good generally summary of what I tend to find attractive in a sub: the fact that at any moment he could stand up off his knees and turn the tables around is part of the intellectual and tactical appeal of BDSM for me. My ultimate sub? Jason Bourne; just the right mix of wounded bird and hyper-alpha male…[:)]

daddyncherry -> RE: Aura of violence (12/25/2007 1:17:29 PM)
i used to seek out those with an aura of violence..in my teens and early 20s....i think it was part of my life lessons while i sought out a Dominant....this only led to abuse. Just to clarify, i wasn't actively seeking a dominant at the time (had no clue) but it was a similar mindset to what i was seeking in a dominant....its such a thin little line between control and violence and until i was able to experience the awful part of it i couldn't distinguish between what i was seeking and a vanilla abusive guy. Alot of the same character traits are present in what i found and what i was really looking for.....The only issue was some of the important things were missing in the violent guys and the violence is missing in guys like my Daddy....Things like self-esteem, honor,self-restraint to name a couple were the missing components.

MadRabbit -> RE: Aura of violence (12/25/2007 1:20:40 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TreasureKY quote: ORIGINAL: MadRabbit With such harsh judgements on another man, I figure it's at least fair to mention that I have my own little dark place that I can and have gone a few times, particularly in scenarios where I am being bullied, physically overpowered, or feeling weak/helpless. Blood-red, murderous, pure, bone breaking and head slamming rage where I am capable of doing things to a human being that I never thought I had it in to do. It's something I am aware of and even fear about myself when the right catalysts start to happen and I feel that energy boiling up inside of me. I understand the place that you refer to, MR, but I do think there's a great difference between the ability to utilize violence when provoked or necessary and the persistent presence of chaos that the expression "aura of violence" invokes. FirmhandKY somewhat touched on that "dark place" in a description of himself... "I am a man who avoids conflict and violence, unless it is required, and then I don't half-step, I go for total death and destruction. I'm a pacifist who believes that violence is sometimes the only correct response." We all have our dark sides. The difference is between accepting that it exists, or being attracted to it. I agree completely and thank you. That was really insightful and will have to think on that. It used to bother me in the past on a moral level, because it existed, but not much anymore. It bothers me somewhat because I am attracted to it. As I mentioned, it crosses over into my sadism and why hurting people sexually is a strong part of my sex life. Much like the all-to-worn-out pop culture references to the dangers of the Dark Side of the Force, there is power in rage and violence and at least to me, it's the same kind of power I find in consentually inflicting pain on women. Blissful, elating, and almost sickeningly bitter-sweet. I've found it kind of interesting because with a few personal conversations with sadists I respect heavily for their character and balanced psyches, they have confided in me they have the same issue with rage as I do.

Level -> RE: Aura of violence (12/25/2007 1:29:34 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross It can definitely be part of attraction for me- but it's not what really makes me want to get into a commitment. That's much more a long term, slow burn consistency and strength of character, that thread of steel in someone. Aura of violence is just like the yummy caramel ribbon in the ice cream for me. quote: I heard someone say once, "I want a man who would be capable of killing me but would never actually follow through with it..." LA, does what xiam wrote above define "aura of violence" to you?

Level -> RE: Aura of violence (12/25/2007 1:30:50 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: xiam I heard someone say once, "I want a man who would be capable of killing me but would never actually follow through with it..." Food for thought. :) Blasted women, wanting it all.... [:D]

sazmira -> RE: Aura of violence (12/25/2007 1:32:17 PM)
Works spiffy for me.

BitaTruble -> RE: Aura of violence (12/25/2007 1:32:45 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MadRabbit Blood-red, murderous, pure, bone breaking and head slamming rage where I am capable of doing things to a human being that I never thought I had it in to do. It's something I am aware of and even fear about myself when the right catalysts start to happen and I feel that energy boiling up inside of me. Edited to Add : What scares me the most is how much I like it. The same feeling of bliss I get when I am in sadist mode is the same feeling I get when I go there...only 100 times stronger. I am astounded. When a slave tells you that get to that same place, but from a mindset of passion, trust, love, obedience and respect, you say it's impossible and they are mental but it's all possible when it's from blood-red out of control rage .. and, you like it and you go there! I am, truly, astounded. Celeste edited to add: I apologize for the highjack, Level. I'm still picking my jaw up off the floor.

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