RE: BBW and rejection (Full Version)

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Aileen1968 -> RE: BBW and rejection (12/29/2007 1:23:08 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: backseatbebe

I am curious how many BBWs out there have also encoutered such malicious abuse after telling a Dom they are not interested?

You see I respond to every mail I recieve, even to those who do not interest me.
Usually my rejection message is very short and sweet "not interested (perhaps insert reason; distance, age etc), best of luck to you".
Now just taking the time to respond is more than most people on here do, yet it seems to bite me in the ass a lot of the time.
Because "Doms" respond back to tell me how they never wanted to be with a "porker", "fatty", whatever anyways.
There isn't much I can do about this, other than brush it off and know that they are only reacting to something we all find painful, rejection. Sure you can say this helps weed out the losers, but what if I hadn't rejected them I would have never known their true feelings. So how do we know a Dom is just as ok with our weight as we are?

But I'm curious how routine this is for girls like myself? How often do you recieve an insult after saying no thank you, when minutes before they might have been offering you the world (ie. plane tickets to see them, how they are youre prefect match, asking to play with you, etc).

And on the other side, I'm wondering if skinny girls have to deal with something simialir? What do Doms use as their malicious insult since calling you fat isnt there as their easy out?


Thus the reason I rarely respond to emails anymore.  People get nasty and defensive when turned down.




SirJohnMandevill -> RE: BBW and rejection (12/29/2007 1:34:12 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: RoughFN

"You see I respond to every mail I recieve, even to those who do not interest me."

I just wanted to publicly comment on and thank this behavior. I always appreciate it.

Now, I am one of the (rare?) ones that does go to the trouble of composing an individual message for each person I speak with and it's always quite annoying to get no answer in reply. Yes, yes, I know the sub girls on here get bombarded with thousands of messages for every yahoo in the book, so I'm not going to hold it against them.

And don't get me wrong - of course I'd much rather have a positive reply than a rejection. :-)

But if somebody takes the time to respond with a simple "No, thank you", it emphasizes that she has some degree of class and further that she knows her proper place in the pecking order, even if that place isn't with me specifically.

As for the putzes that respond negatively to that, don't worry about 'em, they're not worth the effort. But there are at least some of us out there that appreciate a negative response over none at all and encourage the behavior.

So, basically, "Thanks."


Great post, RoughFN! I use the same methods as you do, and appreciate all responses, positive or negative. Many female subs realize we aren't all horny, oversexed guys wanting a quick hit....

Les (who doesn't want you to think I'm NOT horny and oversexed) [sm=hello.gif]







phoenix92901 -> RE: BBW and rejection (12/29/2007 2:32:06 PM)

It doesn't just happen here.  My Sir and I met on a vanilla BBW dating site and I'd been subjected to insults on there as well as in a BBW chat room that I frequent.  I find it really funny how someone can be sooooooooooo complimentary one second then utterly degrading after you politely say "thanks but no thanks" for whatever reason... distance, lack of common interests, etc.
 
I looked at it this way... they saved me a bunch of time and effort by showing off their true colors right away.  They also paved the way for me to meet and appreciate a truly wonderful Man.




DarkDaddyZ -> RE: BBW and rejection (12/29/2007 4:11:39 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Daddysredhead

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkDaddyZ

I even have occasional outbreaks of schmukism.



Say it ain't so!  DDZ, I just can't believe it...  please don't make me cry!  [:(]

~ winks at cha ~  [;)]

Red

But Maybe IntenseMaster won't mind [:D]




domahpet -> RE: BBW and rejection (12/29/2007 4:27:22 PM)

well, i have been super skinny, and this curvy thing i am now, and ive notice i got far more insults then.
ive also noticed that the ones insulting me now are usaully 4 inches shorter and 50 pounds lighter. no worries, what the
heck would I want with someone like that anyway? My curves ROCK




seeksfemslave -> RE: BBW and rejection (12/29/2007 4:40:44 PM)

Sensitive soul that I am I find it very odd to find that BB people in general  and BBWs in particular are subject to so much abuse.
I would have to say that many very overweight people can look a bit grim but to actually give 'em verbals over that fact is just plain wrong.




subFA -> RE: BBW and rejection (12/30/2007 7:51:37 AM)

Well there are guys that don't appreciate BBW/SSBBW and there are guys that love them. I'm in second group and basicly I think I dated only one girl who wasn't plus size since I can remember. I wouldn't bash people with different tastes - if they don't like big girl it their choice - they just don't know what they are loosing ;) But on the other hand size bashing comments can't be accepted as any other comments regarding look, race, sexual orientation etc. You don't need to love it... let other people do it. 




sunshinemiss -> RE: BBW and rejection (12/30/2007 8:40:54 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkDaddyZ

I have had many thin submissives approach me and wonder why I like bigger girls.  I shouldn't have to explain that and sometimes I just don't.

Z-


Dark Daddy Z - big girls everywhere are chanting "you da bomb!"  as we say in Philly.... *winks




undergroundsea -> RE: BBW and rejection (12/30/2007 9:05:40 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: backseatbebe
but what if I hadn't rejected them I would have never known their true feelings.


I don't think what you are seeing in his second message is how he truly feels. How he truly feels is what motivated the first message, which is that he felt interest in you based on the information in your profile.

What you are seeing in the second message is emotional immaturity. You are seeing someone who has been rejected and has taken offense to the ego. And this person has become vindictive and wants to deliberately offend you and hurt you. In this state, he is not saying what he feels but what he thinks will hurt you. You will hear about these type of messages from all women.

With the large number of unsolicited emails women receive, I have come to not expect a response if there is no interest. I do appreciate it when one does take a moment to write a response to decline. I think the approach of sending a thank you note and blocking them will likely be the simplest. If it makes you feel better you can include a sentence that says that due to many persons responding in a mean-spirited manner to prior no-thank you notes, you now block the sender as a rule--it is not related to the specific person but to the general situation.

Cheers,

Sea




winterlight -> RE: BBW and rejection (12/30/2007 10:03:21 AM)

I am a BBW who is currently losing weight. I find that when you are large (in least in my case) i am viewed as not being there. I saw hi to people i am ignored. People look through me. I have no idea why. I think I am a very positive person and friendly. I just don't get ignorant people and that is what they are ignorant. I agree ignorant people come from all walks of life, socio-economic, races etc. I just move on from that experience, that is all i can do.

If I ever got a reply that i was a fat slob etc. i would simply write back and say that you are immature and i am glad i can cross one immature person off of my list of possibilities (i just typoed possibilities and almost put pissibilities) LOL...

I look for somebody that is fun to be with, likes the things i like. When you get down to it in time no matter how old you are time has a way of catching up with you and you will no longer be young and pretty anymore and what will you have left? As Judge Judy says and i love this quote: "Beauty fades, dumb is forever". I totally agree with that one! If you just go by looks what do you really have in the way of compatibility? An empty shell...




MsPleasure -> RE: BBW and rejection (12/30/2007 4:22:43 PM)

Not yet, I'm size 12/14 which is considered a plus size for models.




willing2try1984 -> RE: BBW and rejection (1/6/2008 6:08:47 PM)

i don't get these, i do however get the " you need to lose" weight ones. i have only had one so called "dom" say some really crazy crap to me. but at that time i had a daddy so i didn't care and i wasn't interested in his bean pole butt anyway lol




lalbobbilynn -> RE: BBW and rejection (1/6/2008 6:40:25 PM)

No matter here, there (r/t), or anywhere some folks will pick You apart no matter the vernacular You choose to decline them. i have been told i am fat b/c i have a face shot (sorry no T & A until at the very least a coffee was forthcoming!!!), i never volley back w/ the fact i was a dancer for nine yrs; that effort alone would take more than i put forth in flatulating. i am also dumb/retarded/mean/to headstrong, and just over all not a submissive of any kind. Geeesh, i am so indebted to so many for finally locating my authentic self!!!
Skinny/fat/educated/mentally challenged by choice/tall/vertally challenged ...... is never the real matter when slinging insults at total strangers.




badnursie1151 -> RE: BBW and rejection (1/13/2008 11:03:14 AM)

I have not had anyone on CM be that rude, but I have that I am a BBW in my profile so if they dont want to talk to me they dont have to. There are lots of men out there that like "full figured" women. Those that want Barbie dolls need to look elsewhere. As long as my Master likes me... who am I to care what others think.




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