How to address a submissive the first email?

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How to address a submissive the first email? - 12/26/2007 4:52:54 AM

MidMichCowboy

Posts: 665
Joined: 3/23/2007
Status: offline

I’d like to address this to slave or submissive ladies. How do you prefer to be addressed in your first email? It may be an email wanting to get to know you or commenting on a post on the message forums. I don’t feel comfortable (nor do I feel it proper) to start out an email – “Slut” or “Little one” or “Slave” or any of the other endearing words one uses … once you’ve established a relationship.

I was raised out west and I tend to address ladies as “Ma’am”. I don’t jump into assumed intimacy or assume that every woman will roll over and submit just because I call myself a Dom. In fact, I hope they don’t (read my profile for what I am looking for). So tell me ladies, how would you like an opening email to be addressed?

_____________________________

I want to capture your mind, your spirit, your soul, your body, your devotion and your love. Then, will I give you my heart.

Post #: 1

RE: How to address a submissive the first email? - 12/26/2007 4:57:01 AM

KyttynTheMynx

Posts: 4880
Joined: 5/10/2006
From: Moosecrotch, Va
Status: offline

How about using whatever opening line you favor, paired with their screenname? Or just flat out start writing.

_____________________________

Hibbie's Hottie

The next time you think I give a fuck, remember the 3 F's... Unless you are Feeding me, Financing me, or Fucking me, I don't give a fuck!!

"Kyttyn: The Other White Meat!" - DRH

10 Miles of Hot Chocolate Lovin'.

(in reply to MidMichCowboy)

Post #: 2

RE: How to address a submissive the first email? - 12/26/2007 5:06:35 AM

lusciouslips19

Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline

I can tell you what I dont want. Someone talking of spanking me on first e-mail. Writing errotic sexual fantasies or commenting on my breasts.Trying to order me around. Dont laugh it happens all the time.

You are like any man courting a person. Tell me about who you are,show a genuine interest in me knowing me and wanting to establish a friendship.

(in reply to KyttynTheMynx)

Post #: 3

RE: How to address a submissive the first email? - 12/26/2007 5:21:55 AM

plushiecat

Posts: 109
Joined: 12/18/2005
Status: offline

Why not just use their nick? They likely chose the nick because they like it. :) I call no one 'Sir' merely because he has a capped nick. he's not 'my' dom until we talk...just as someone isn't 'your' sub until the discussion is had. How about simply saying 'hi'?

(in reply to lusciouslips19)

Post #: 4

RE: How to address a submissive the first email? - 12/26/2007 5:25:29 AM

NakedGirlScout

Posts: 370
Joined: 1/10/2006
From: Toronto
Status: offline

MidMichCowboy,

Sounds like your ideas are on the right track. Address women respectfully and make a comment on something particular about her likes/dislikes or opinions. Even if you're not a match with each other, this approach will make friends with people who could very well introduce you to others that you'd never have found.

(in reply to MidMichCowboy)

Post #: 5

RE: How to address a submissive the first email? - 12/26/2007 5:29:42 AM

txnights05

Posts: 51
Joined: 7/12/2005
Status: offline

"I've read your profile" is a good beginning...

Good ones to me start out something like the following i received...

"A most intriguing and interesting posting. It certainly shows knowledge of yourself and what you seek. I am an intelligent, thoughtful, complex, experienced Dominant man. I am seeking......"

I want to know that they have actually taken the time to look at my profile
I want to know what they are seeking and some indication that they think there is compatibility based on what they read in my profile
I also want it to be a personal-only-for-me email and not a copy/paste thing they send out to everybody
I want it to be spell checked and have proper grammar usage
Full words and some attempt at punctuation helps assure i will reply

Humor also is appreciated.

While i don't respond to "nice tits!", i did respond to "wow..... mails ya an industrial sized bottle of ibuprofen for your backache......winks"

with...

"lol... slipped in under the radar with that one..."

I will respond to an intelligent, thoughtful, or humorous email.

pam

edited to add: As far as being addressed goes... i don't really think any particular greeting is needed... most of mine don't have one. "Hello" works just fine for me.

< Message edited by txnights05 -- 12/26/2007 5:34:51 AM >

(in reply to MidMichCowboy)

Post #: 6

RE: How to address a submissive the first email? - 12/26/2007 5:30:53 AM

wandersalone

Posts: 4666
Joined: 11/21/2005
Status: offline

I am more likely to respond to someone who starts off by saying 'hi' and then giving me a reason why they have written eg. they read something in my profile which they wanted to comment on.

_____________________________

Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter. Martin Luther King
Godmother of the subbie mafia
My all time favourite threads
http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=2002501
http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=790885

(in reply to MidMichCowboy)

Post #: 7

RE: How to address a submissive the first email? - 12/26/2007 5:42:42 AM

sambamanslilgirl

Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline

"Hi, *insert nickname here*, etc etc" is always a good start

addressing me as "slut" or anything else wouldn't be appropriate because only Daddy has the right to call me those names.

_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...

...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to MidMichCowboy)

Post #: 8

RE: How to address a submissive the first email? - 12/26/2007 6:09:31 AM

littlebitxxx

Posts: 732
Status: offline

I don't think you could ever go wrong being polite and warm but not overly-friendly. Good day/morning/afternoon/evening, hi, hello, greetings and salutations.....
littlebit, Sage, ma'am, lady, princess, sweetie, darlin', sweet lady, my dear........
All these are welcome to my eyes, versus the slut, bitch, whore, etc that seems to be popular.

_____________________________

There is no such thing as can't unless it is followed by yet

It is the meaningless little acts that become meaningful in the doing.

The people that mind don't matter and the people that matter don't mind.

(in reply to MidMichCowboy)

Post #: 9

RE: How to address a submissive the first email? - 12/26/2007 6:15:39 AM

sunshinemiss

Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline

I myself prefer "hello sunshinemiss" just because I know you are writing to me and not just anyone... i don't like the lilone, dear, sweet girl, etc. You don't know me, so you shouldn't be calling me those things until you do. Ok snuggums? See, doesn't seem right. Sigh.

And you know, I know what you mean... I have the same thing about Doms... Hello MidMichCowboy.... Seems very appropriate to me.

my 200 won
peace.

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to littlebitxxx)

Post #: 10

RE: How to address a submissive the first email? - 12/26/2007 6:20:25 AM

lusciouslips19

Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlebitxxx

I don't think you could ever go wrong being polite and warm but not overly-friendly. Good day/morning/afternoon/evening, hi, hello, greetings and salutations.....
littlebit, Sage, ma'am, lady, princess, sweetie, darlin', sweet lady, my dear........
All these are welcome to my eyes, versus the slut, bitch, whore, etc that seems to be popular.

I dont want to be called names like"my dear, sweetie or darlin". either. A first e-mail should not enclude endearments. these are reserved for those who have a farmiliarity. Words like baby or darlin or my dear assume an intimacy that has not been exchanged.
Say hello . Use my handle name.

(in reply to littlebitxxx)

Post #: 11

RE: How to address a submissive the first email? - 12/26/2007 6:23:22 AM

Sabella

Posts: 265
Joined: 7/26/2005
Status: offline

"Hi/Howdy/Hello/Dear Sabella" works for me

_____________________________

“The giant Grof was hit in one eye by a stone,
and that eye turned inward so that it looked into his mind and he died of what he saw there.”
From The Forgotten Beasts of Eld, by Patricia A. McKillip

(in reply to sunshinemiss)

Post #: 12

RE: How to address a submissive the first email? - 12/26/2007 6:55:06 AM

lockmeupplease

Posts: 202
Joined: 8/9/2006
Status: offline

When I am addressed in a first e-mail as "slave" or "slut" I assume the writer doesn't actually want to get to know me but is looking for money, and a review of their profile usually confirms that. Older non-Pros often use "boy", but I find it rather presumptuous. There have been many good alternatives listed in this thread.

(in reply to MidMichCowboy)

Post #: 13

RE: How to address a submissive the first email? - 12/26/2007 8:14:47 AM

decstorm37

Posts: 95
Joined: 11/12/2007
Status: offline

Lots of great ideas in the post already. When i had my profile up on the other side my Master sent me an email. It said Hi storm hope you are having a good day. It was short sweet and to the point. Those were the ones i replyed to b/c there was not sexual overtone. Even though we all like and enjoy BDSM no reason to talk to any of us with out a little respect.

Storm.

_____________________________

You do not appreciate the value of something until you lose it!!!! MASAI saying

(in reply to lockmeupplease)

Post #: 14

RE: How to address a submissive the first email? - 12/26/2007 8:47:45 AM

girlygurl

Posts: 6973
Joined: 8/5/2007
From: in the palms of His hands
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MidMichCowboy

I’d like to address this to slave or submissive ladies. How do you prefer to be addressed in your first email? It may be an email wanting to get to know you or commenting on a post on the message forums. I don’t feel comfortable (nor do I feel it proper) to start out an email – “Slut” or “Little one” or “Slave” or any of the other endearing words one uses … once you’ve established a relationship.

I was raised out west and I tend to address ladies as “Ma’am”. I don’t jump into assumed intimacy or assume that every woman will roll over and submit just because I call myself a Dom. In fact, I hope they don’t (read my profile for what I am looking for). So tell me ladies, how would you like an opening email to be addressed?

Greetings MidMichCowboy,
Thank you for posting this thread! Although, I don't look for emails from other Doms, I do get them on occasion. If I get them "slut" doesn't sit well with me. I am my Sir's lilslut, but that's it! I've been told being called "slut" is a good thing, and it really doesn't bother me when those I know call me slut... but a stranger? naw.

I can speak only for myself, but when I receive an email simply addressing me as "girlygurl" is acceptable.
Now, if you call me "Ma'am" well jeeze.... although that is very polite.... I still prefer the "girlygurl".
Thanks for asking the question.... Good luck to you!

girly

(in reply to MidMichCowboy)

Post #: 15

RE: How to address a submissive the first email? - 12/26/2007 8:59:50 AM

sexyred1

Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline

I agree with most of the posters. Just call me sexyred1, say something intelligent, cute, funny or that shows you either read my profile in it's entirety or saw something on the forum.

Do not say just Hi, (nothing much to work with there), slave, slut, god forbid subbie, girl, etc. If you use slashy speak like How are Y/you or ask me for my Yahoo ID, I will know you did not read the profile. If you ask me what I am into on the first email, not good. If you ask, ASL, I am deleting you. If you ask, what am I seeking, I already said in my profile, so be more specific or just say, Hi, I read your profile, it seems like we might be compatible, please read mine and let me know if you would like to chat.

Compliments are always nice, but all you can do to reply is say thanks. What I find worse than sexual comments are the cut-and-paste ones that initially sound good, like "Intriguing profile, you sound intelligent....etc." until you read further and then the person has said something that reveals the email as generic such as, "seeking brunette in the Houston area" when he is writing a redhead in the NJ area.

< Message edited by sexyred1 -- 12/26/2007 9:02:50 AM >

(in reply to girlygurl)

Post #: 16

RE: How to address a submissive the first email? - 12/26/2007 10:36:35 AM

Missokyst

Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline

I perfer being called by my screen name or simply Kyst. So, "Hello, Kyst I hope you are having a great day." Works well. It is also nice if they let me know why they are emailing me. Since I run a group I sometimes get mail from people seeking info. Occasionally some of my local members will comment on things I have written, particularly when the day has been tough. Random people will drop me an email about my profile, or what I write in forums.
And then there are the people who just say
"Hi."
Those are my most unfavorite because what then? I did not initiate the exchange, do they expect I will come up with a topic for them to respond to? I never get why someone would simply say hi, if they don't know you.
I no longer respond to those.
Kyst

_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley

(in reply to girlygurl)

Post #: 17

RE: How to address a submissive the first email? - 12/26/2007 11:06:09 AM

lusciouslips19

Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

I perfer being called by my screen name or simply Kyst. So, "Hello, Kyst I hope you are having a great day." Works well. It is also nice if they let me know why they are emailing me. Since I run a group I sometimes get mail from people seeking info. Occasionally some of my local members will comment on things I have written, particularly when the day has been tough. Random people will drop me an email about my profile, or what I write in forums.
And then there are the people who just say
"Hi."
Those are my most unfavorite because what then? I did not initiate the exchange, do they expect I will come up with a topic for them to respond to? I never get why someone would simply say hi, if they don't know you.
I no longer respond to those.
Kyst

I dont either(respond to His only). Nor anyone talking about spanking me right off the bat!

(in reply to Missokyst)

Post #: 18

RE: How to address a submissive the first email? - 12/26/2007 11:33:18 AM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

Aqua with a capital A. Start on equal footing with (hopefully) equal respect on both sides. I like to go from there.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to MidMichCowboy)

Post #: 19

RE: How to address a submissive the first email? - 12/26/2007 11:34:17 AM

beeble

Posts: 799
Joined: 5/25/2005
From: UK
Status: offline

I'm not female but...

There's no strong `tradition' of using a salutation in electronic messages. It's acceptable and polite to just start with `Hi' or `Hello' or even just get straight on with your message. (Assuming your message is acceptable and polite, of course.) If that feels too impersonal, there's always `Hi/Hello [screenname],' or `[screenname],' .

`Ma'am', the way you intend it, is very polite. The only thing I'd worry about is that it's more commonly used to address Dommes and your submissive correspondent might think you were yet another idiot wanting to be dominated by anything in a skirt. So make sure your first paragraph makes it clear you're not. :-)

< Message edited by beeble -- 12/26/2007 11:37:42 AM >

(in reply to MidMichCowboy)

Post #: 20

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