laurell3
Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
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quote:
ORIGINAL: heartsemerge
quote:
ORIGINAL: sexyred1
There is no "reason" for being submissive. You just are. It is either something you were born with and discovered early on in your life or you discovered it later. You cannot be "trained" to be submissive if you do not have the "desire" to be. Why force something?
I always wonder at these questions because for me, the answer is simple: if something turns you on and you crave it, it means you should do it. If something turns you on intellectually only, but does not trip your trigger, then perhaps you are not truly craving what is it is, but instead intellectualizing that you "should" be submissive.
And..sometimes it takes a special relationship to bring something out in someone, my ex never experienced being Dominant until he met me. Now he wonders how he could have lived without it.
As a young person getting into this, you have plenty of time to figure things out, truly.
Submission does turn me on, and to be honest without someone to make happy or to please, I feel as if I have no real reason or excitment in my life. When I say I find it difficult to submit, it isn't because I truely am not submissive, it is because I have yet to find a balance in my life outside of D/s, therefore throwing D/s into it only complicates things. How can one seek a TPE if they are struggling to have power and control without A Master? Love to me is submission, but love doesn't always come easy and sometimes you need to take things slowly. What Dom's I have found never took things slowly... they just always expected and put pressure on me to please them. Walking on eggshells does not make me try harder. It has the opposite affect.
and MystressDream ty so much for you response. It was good advice.
Without getting into the whole prior thread posted by your partner previously which alleged several rather significant health issues for you, I think what you suggest about balance in overall life is where you need to begin. I'm not sure anyone can make any relationship work without a strong sense of self and overall balance in life and if what he said was true, you need to get a handle on that before you can move forward and integrate someone else in your life. You're not alone, there are many here that struggle with mental health and/or physical issues and every single one of us has limitations.
When you feel like that is met, I think you need to find someone that is realistic about your limitations and who you are as a person. The fact that you have limitations does not mean you are not submissive, it means that you are human. Finding someone that nutures the part of you that desires to please them and accepts you as a complete human being with limitations and advantages and works with you to overcome those limitations instead of attempting to make you someone you are not, will make a huge difference.
< Message edited by laurell3 -- 12/27/2007 3:24:52 PM >
_____________________________
I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.
When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.
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