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pixelslave -> RE: A spark of interest (12/29/2007 1:52:37 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: MaamJay
quote:
ORIGINAL: KindLadyGrey
I do not chase boys. It's just undignified.
If I am interested, I will offer to meet them for coffee once, but after that the ball is entirely in their court to maintain contact and interest. I'll pick up the slack if an actual relationship develops, but I simply lack the time and attention span to keep track of every boy I meet once or talk to on the internet, even if I do like them. I'm sure this leads to some of them going home after a coffee date and being sad because they assume I must not like them if I don't contact them to pursue another meeting.
I'm basically with this ... I won't chase subs. I might make the initial approach, but if they don't respond favourably it dies there and then ... I do My best to respond to messages they send helpfully and in a timely way ... I ask open questions encouraging them to write ... but I won't do the chasing, whether they are male or female. My Mum taught me that "It's the boy's place to try and the girl's place to deny" ... ok, she was trying to teach abstinence LOL! However, I interpret that in the D/s sense to be "It's the sub's place to try and the Dominant's place to deny" ... if I want to deny that is! It's also My place to say "OK!" I feel that if a sub isn't willing to put effort into maintaining a relationship with Me, given that I do respond, then they are not likely to be willing to put effort into doing as I require or maintaining that relationship ... so they're not going to be what I need. So yes, I also get frustrated by those who purport to want this ... and then drop off after a couple of messages.
Maam Jay aka violet[A]
Gosh, it seems to me that you ladies are sending us subs some mixed signals here, either that or I'm misinterpreting your posts. To me, it's a two-way street. I need to sense there's a mutual interest in continuing a dialogue in order for me to continue writing. Like you, I've received the one-line responses that essentially ended email conversations as they left me with nothing to reply to. When that happens, am I expected to "stick my neck out", write again and inquire for more information about your interests? Or am I to accept that you had no interest in learning more about me since you didn't ask, and then be the polite gentleman and leave you alone? [&:]
We subs are often in something of a conundrum in what to do. The women on these boards claim to be dominants, yet often don't seem to want to send us signals to direct conversations where they'd like them to go. If we assert ourselves, which I often tend to be inclined to do (it's the "hey, you're not my Domme and I'm not your sub [yet] approach"; instead you're a woman I might want to get to know), we're then labeled as a man who's not a "twue" submissive and dismissed as such. [>:]
I only submit to one woman at a time and not all women are going to be appropriate partners for me to have a D/s relationship with. I'm not just looking for any Domme to serve, I'm looking for one who's right for me just as Dommes are looking for a sub who's right for them. I could care less about the statistical imbalance that's purported to exist, not to sound overly confident, but I know I have a lot to offer the right woman and will eventually meet her. Presumably the right woman will be sharp enough to recognize me when I meet her, and if not, probably isn't the right one for me. Sometimes we subs have to sort through a lot of "princesses" before we kiss the right one. [;)]
I hope you ladies will think about the messages you send. If you're interested in a sub, I suggest you find a way to let him know so you'll be giving him encouragement to continue to contact you. Perhaps the ones who haven't continued to write or IM you, weren't given the right kind of nibbles to cause them to return and chase the bait! [8D]
- pixel
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