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A spark of interest - 12/27/2007 7:49:55 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Have you ever noticed that so many are out there with hopes of meeting, but they cant keep up a simple email convo?  If it's really what they want, do it or gett off of the pot already.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: A spark of interest - 12/27/2007 7:53:05 PM   
MisPandora


Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline 		Yep, and they use everything in the world (including making up that you sent them away) as an excuse for their poor communication.

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to LadyPact)
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RE: A spark of interest - 12/27/2007 7:59:03 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		Do you sometimes think there are only three guys in the world, and they are only making the rounds between us, thanks to the joy of cutting and pasting?

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[page 23 girl]



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RE: A spark of interest - 12/27/2007 8:04:38 PM   
RumpusParable


Posts: 1923
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: NYC now!
Status: offline 		Haha, that would explain some things, LadyHibiscus!

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Relationships come and go, but plastination is forever.

I generally use fast-reply. If directing my post at someone specific I will indicate so.

Minimal summary: Artist, Disabled Veteran, Vegan, Pornographer, and Agender dominant female.

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
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RE: A spark of interest - 12/27/2007 8:11:17 PM   
MisPandora


Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Do you sometimes think there are only three guys in the world, and they are only making the rounds between us, thanks to the joy of cutting and pasting?

I know so.  They send me the same email every three months and I send them the dates and copies of what they've sent me in the past LOL

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
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RE: A spark of interest - 12/27/2007 8:50:40 PM   
PanthersMom


Posts: 2215
Joined: 11/26/2007
From: Cleveland Ohio
Status: offline 		sounds like some of the emails i've gotten in the past.  they must be busy going thru form letters and their addy lists.

PM

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I miss my ex, but my aim is improving!




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Profile   Post #: 6
RE: A spark of interest - 12/27/2007 9:14:56 PM   
MsLadySue


Posts: 2254
Joined: 12/18/2004
Status: offline 		They can't/won't keep up an email conversation simply because we don't respond with the wanking fodder they are hoping for in response.

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I love it when someone insults me. That means I don't have to be nice anymore.

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RE: A spark of interest - 12/27/2007 9:41:15 PM   
MsSaskia


Posts: 415
Joined: 9/9/2004
From: Denver
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Do you sometimes think there are only three guys in the world, and they are only making the rounds between us, thanks to the joy of cutting and pasting?


Ha!  I got FOUR emails yesterday from one guy.  They were each addressed to different dommes at Pavlovia (my house), but were absolutely identical.  I sent him back four absolutely identical emails.  Another domme in my city said she'd heard from him too and showed me the email she got from him.  Unbelievable.

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: A spark of interest - 12/28/2007 5:34:55 AM   
MsCfromMelbourne


Posts: 777
Joined: 2/15/2007
Status: offline 		I only just discovered that when you hit reply, your email history with that person comes up. 

I had no idea I was writing "sorry, not looking - did you read my profile?" over and over to the same few men!

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Profile   Post #: 9
RE: A spark of interest - 12/28/2007 5:39:05 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline 		About once a month I get a note from the same guy who in reality doesn't live that far from us.

However, we talked the first time he contacted me and we are not a match -- he is monogamous, I'm clearly not; he's mostly interested in sexual play, I'm interested in DS or SM no promise or sex; he isn't bi and if I were adding to the household that would be almost a requirement.

Yet once a month he still sends me a note as though there's not "history" function or I can't remember what he looks like. Just yesterday he sent me a note asking if we could chat on yahoo. Usually I'd reply and remind him that we've talked and we aren't compatible and I'm not looking to add but this pissed me off of I just ignored him.

I mean, come on! If you aren't compatible it is doubtful that will change and if it does change that's probably several different life experiences or years from now.

It isn't like nothing happens in this state. Everyone from this state gets a link to a yahoogroup for various events around the region. He could find other venues and a damn well lot of other people. Yet he keeps trying with me.

This time I just followed my own advice and ignored him. Hopefully Miss Manners is correct and he'll stop contacting me now.

So anyway, thanks, LadyPact, for giving me that opportunity to vent.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: A spark of interest - 12/28/2007 5:47:37 AM   
undergroundsea


Posts: 2400
Joined: 6/27/2004
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MsSaskia
I sent him back four absolutely identical emails. 



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Profile   Post #: 11
RE: A spark of interest - 12/28/2007 6:40:42 AM   
littlesarbonn


Posts: 1710
Joined: 12/3/2005
From: Stockton, California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Have you ever noticed that so many are out there with hopes of meeting, but they cant keep up a simple email convo?  If it's really what they want, do it or gett off of the pot already.


Going back to the original post (the rest of this thread has gone off the usual route of "I can't stand it when men keep writing me when I've already turned them down):

There could be something else going on as well, because I know that I often find myself as one of those "hopefuls" that discontinues an email conversation. For me, after a certain amount of conversation, I start to believe that the person isn't really interested in me, but is being polite by continuing the conversation. I realize that she probably has multiple conversations going on with many other guys (due to the ratios of who attracts more conversations), so I cut my losses and hope to find someone else that's interested in continuing a conversation that will actually lead to something.

And by something, I don't mean instant play, sex, or anything of that nature. I mean actually meeting someone in person to see if we're socially compatible with each other. But that so rarely happens because people are trying so hard to ward off any potential partner through email first, that I honestly believe there are some really cool people who have made the hoops to reach them so difficult that they've in reality given up on actually connecting with anyone but some ideal that doesn't exist or decided with a simple game theoretic rational choice perspective to just find someone who doesn't make it so difficult to connect.

Email conversations a lot of times end up being small talk bantering that I really despise with a passion. It's one reason I don't do well on instant messenger because I generally don't have a lot of inane things to say to someone but tend to be more forthright with important things and then move from there. But in this type of atmosphere, you end up having to be "conversational" over and over to the point of absurdity. I was in one "conversation"-relationship for some time that ended up with continuous miscommunications because she wouldn't just pick up the phone and call (or give a phone number so that someone could call her). Finally, as great a person as she may have been, I ended up just giving up because nonstop frustrating conversations really don't lead to fruitful relationships.


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http://www.littlesarbonn.com/Stickman/Stickman.htm
The Adventures of Stickman and the Unemployed Lego Spaceman

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Profile   Post #: 12
RE: A spark of interest - 12/28/2007 8:57:42 AM   
Politesub53


Posts: 14862
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Do you sometimes think there are only three guys in the world, and they are only making the rounds between us, thanks to the joy of cutting and pasting?


i wonder who the other two are ? 

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: A spark of interest - 12/28/2007 9:08:54 AM   
subfever


Posts: 2895
Joined: 5/22/2004
Status: offline 		PS53, uh-oh... you blew it. What's wrong with you, are you spiking your morning coffee again? Now the cat is out of the bag. Maybe we'd better delete the 342,000 extra profiles between the three of us. All that freaking work for nothing.

Should we tell them who the 3rd guy is? 

(in reply to Politesub53)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: A spark of interest - 12/28/2007 9:15:31 AM   
pixelslave


Posts: 1444
Joined: 8/19/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Do you sometimes think there are only three guys in the world, and they are only making the rounds between us, thanks to the joy of cutting and pasting?


To do that they'd have to learn to use the CTRL + C and the CTRL + V shortcuts.  Do you think they'd be up to that when they can't write more creatively than I've heard?  And in case you're wondering, I'm not one of the 3.  That's far too many ladies on CM than I could possibly ever keep up with, plus I'd want to write a personal note to each one of them like Santa Clause does!
 
 - pixel


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Chivalry isn't dead! It's for those who have it in their hearts & are willing to be taught. It's a way of life, a code of honor; this one's armor still needs some polishing!

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: A spark of interest - 12/28/2007 9:35:25 AM   
Aimtoplease101


Posts: 319
Joined: 2/8/2006
From: San Diego, California
Status: offline 		Does this happen with any more frequency in the D/s context than in vanilla relationships?

Interpersonal interactions are a question of numbers-- there are so many factors that go into compatibility and probability. 

We probably all have stories of going on dates in which we thought everything was going swimmingly, and then realized that the other person had no interest in a second date.

I try not to let it bother me-- although individual cases do make you wonder.

Think of it this way-- if they can't bother to keep up an interesting conversation with you, would you really want to further pursue a relationship anyway?

Regards, ATP

_____________________________

Pleasing you pleases me.

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: A spark of interest - 12/28/2007 9:38:26 AM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Have you ever noticed that so many are out there with hopes of meeting, but they cant keep up a simple email convo?


Most people I know absolutely suck at online communication. They will go through periods were youll get a message every hour on the hour and then go silent for weeks. I always wonder if its an attempt to see if I am interested enough to come looking for them online, or if they really are that bad about maintaining contact.

DV


_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: A spark of interest - 12/28/2007 1:56:33 PM   
KindLadyGrey


Posts: 358
Joined: 11/6/2007
Status: offline 		Maybe I haven't been around long enough to be jaded yet, or maybe I've just been on the internet for such a large percentage of my life that this sort of thing hardly pings on my radar.

Right now I'm talking to something like ten different local boys on IM. Sometimes some of them disappear without any explanation. Sometimes they come back and sometimes they don't. There was one I actually went out with twice and then he dropped off the face of the planet for the holidays. I have no idea if he's going to contact me when he gets home or not. I hope he does because I really liked him, but if he doesn't I'm not chasing after him.

This is going to sound horribly arrogant, but this thread is a Domme bitchfest anyway so what the hell :P

I do not chase boys. It's just undignified.

If I am interested, I will offer to meet them for coffee once, but after that the ball is entirely in their court to maintain contact and interest. I'll pick up the slack if an actual relationship develops, but I simply lack the time and attention span to keep track of every boy I meet once or talk to on the internet, even if I do like them. I'm sure this leads to some of them going home after a coffee date and being sad because they assume I must not like them if I don't contact them to pursue another meeting.

But yeah, Lady Pact, if a sub wants to meet a Domme here, they really need to be on the ball. The numbers are against them to begin with. Inexplicable disappearing acts just won't fly.

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: A spark of interest - 12/28/2007 2:27:44 PM   
PsyVamp


Posts: 1026
Joined: 10/30/2006
Status: offline 		I like to use the email as a way to get to know the person so when they can't hold up an email conversation, I lose interest. 
The easiest way for me to forget they exist is for them to send me one line answers to my question.

I've been through all the writing courses and I make sure to ask open ended questions when I am after information.  I even tell them that reading is a passion of mine.  Maybe I'll just have to be like the English teachers and ask for two pages, double spaced with a 12 point font.

Lady Jag

_____________________________

Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive. .
Could a blue screen of death constitute being defenestrated?
~Owner of wolf~ (one of them, anyway)

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: A spark of interest - 12/28/2007 2:50:13 PM   
Dominatist


Posts: 87
Joined: 7/18/2007
Status: offline 		Welcome to kinky and vanilla...online dating.

(in reply to PsyVamp)
Profile   Post #: 20
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