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RE: Fear of real life encounters - 12/28/2007 3:52:58 PM

erebus

Posts: 169
Joined: 1/15/2004
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I'd follow your past experience and just meet for coffee. Isn't that how we all do the vanilla date thing? Maybe lunch, maybe dinner, but nobody in their right mind would seek to play or invite someone home on the first date.

Just relax and be yourself. I myself don't get nervous. I believe that if it is meant to work out, it will work out. If not, then no.

There are a lot of fish in the sea, as they say. Take it easy and don't build up the possibility that this might be the answer to your prayers, because it most likely isn't.

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RE: Fear of real life encounters - 12/28/2007 5:31:29 PM

Prinsexx

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I am going to meet for a first time tomorrow.
I love meeting for the first time but I really am travelling this time and I hope I feel comfortable and safe...
if not I'll let you'll know....it's been four months since I split with a Dom who still says he won't release me...but I have released myself both physically and psychologically...
nothing ventured nothing gained....

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RE: Fear of real life encounters - 12/28/2007 5:31:44 PM

heartcream

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Personally I have not met anyone from here at this time. I like to imagine it sometimes though. I like to imagine what it would be like. I figure he would probably be entirely different than I imagine him to be.

I would definitely be nervous. For loads of reasons. I would still go and consider myself lucky to be meeting up. Ideally the first meet would be a coffee, I think that is a very good approach that some folks take. It allows less pressure and the chance that if the chemistry is not there to gracefully unfold. As someone here once said, by having the first meet a coffee date there is not too much to lose.

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RE: Fear of real life encounters - 12/28/2007 5:33:55 PM

LadyPact

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A very timely thread.

Actually, I've never had anyone that I've met on line not show up for a meet. I think I weed out the no show types somehow. Either that, or I've just been lucky.

It's funny about the timing on this thread, because the anniversary of when I met pet some time back just passed. W/we were one of those instant internet connections that met the following day. The plan was just for dinner, but it worked so well that it continued past. My pet was My boy for sometime after that, and I was rather sad to lose him this past year.

Back to the question. Yes, I do get nervous still at the first meeting, but I never let that stop Me. Sometimes, great things can happen.

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RE: Fear of real life encounters - 12/28/2007 8:14:33 PM

TemptingNviceSub

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I am always nervous,probably always will be nervous..Personally, I hate that I get nervous...it tends to my way of thinking, affect my natural personality, and thus they get a person who is not me!..Sometimes, eventually I can chill and my natural effervesence comes out..sometimes it does not....I have not experienced being stood up...but...there have been a few times, I wish I had been!..

..Tempting

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RE: Fear of real life encounters - 12/28/2007 10:20:43 PM

CuriouslyKat

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Joined: 8/21/2006
From: Kansas
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*fast reply*

I full out panic before a first meet. I mean, I pretty much run around going "OMG! OMG!" and waving my arms around. I eventually calm down right before and am fine once the meet gets going. Well, except for the giggling....I always giggle when nervous. It does make for interesting times!

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RE: Fear of real life encounters - 12/28/2007 10:49:23 PM

peppermint

Posts: 5171
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
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Yes...as an uncollared sub i had lots of anxiety when meeting CM people...well..not other subs but sheeeeesh....i was scared of the Doms.

Time, meeting many others, and confidence of being collared means that meeting others is sooo much easier now. In fact, we just met a couple this evening for the first time. We enjoyed talking and are planning on getting together tomorrow evening.

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RE: Fear of real life encounters - 12/28/2007 10:57:57 PM

junecleaver

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I'm always nervous. Of course, I'm nervous when strangers in the mall/bar/bookstore talk to me in general. So the thought of meeting a stranger--just to talk--makes me even more nervous. However, it's always been worth it.

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RE: Fear of real life encounters - 12/28/2007 11:04:59 PM

MaamJay

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Most people are a little nervous when meeting someone new ... I am as sub or Domme! And in either mode I get talkative and a little bit giggly. Fortunately Master found that endearing

I recommend keeping a first date vanilla, coffee, lunch, a walk in a safe populated park, whatever floats your boat. However, that said, after having long talks and felt a HUGE connection, there have been a few occasions where I took the risk to go further and to go into some mild play. I don't regret them, it was something I thought carefully about at the time, and they worked out well. I still think I am in My right mind though

Good luck to the OP!
Maam Jay aka violet[A]

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RE: Fear of real life encounters - 12/30/2007 10:22:46 AM

zhouwuatsien

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Joined: 8/28/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: daddyncherry

i was totally scared to meet my Master/Daddy the first time....even though it was only going to be for coffee(and after almost 4 months talking)....i'd been in a LTR and hadn't dated in a bunch of yrs, much less online. So i was waay more than nervous.
When we did meet we hung out and talked for a couple of hours and before we parted he kissed me up against a wall (OMG i almost fainted...it was the first time i'd kissed anyone else for alot of years because i wanted to-*sigh*)...He asked me to if i was going to walk him to his car and i declined....i confessed to him not too long after on the phone, that i just had a weird feeling that if i'd walked him to the car and he had told me to get on my knees and "ya know", that i just wouldn't have been able to say no to him. (now, i know that to be true :))

HOT!!! That shit is some Erotic Story Material RIGHT THERE!

---

On another note though, I do lots of things when first meeting someone from ONline. Something I've always done is that I've pictured something that just seems right with the person I'm meeting. And I discuss that with the girl, to see whether it sounds right to her.

This isn't a sexual scene (sometimes), but where we meet, how we meet. I almost need to have special. I've never done the coffee shop thing really. I've met people at airports, and hugged for what seemed like forever (like those annoying people you see in public *sweatdrops*) and then go window shopping in SoHo. A few times, I've actually met on College Campus, but I wanted it to be at 6am when all the people were gone and it's like you have the campus to yourself. A lot of times I like to go to a secluded place where you can watch the sunrise (but that's because I like that kind of stuff).

I think I've been as scared as anyone I've ever met, if not more scared though. But I have something else to concentrate on other than "just" the person and Coffee.

< Message edited by zhouwuatsien -- 12/30/2007 10:31:45 AM >

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RE: Fear of real life encounters - 12/30/2007 10:30:04 AM

came4U

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Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
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No, not scared to meet another human.

Met vanilla from online, they were nothing that they claimed to be, looks or personality.

Never met a D (well, one, long time friends now) from a similar site, I think ALT longgggggg ago )4yrs ago-ish.

Yeah I was kinda nervous - only because he WAS all he said he was and more. He drove to my town, bought me lunch, drove me home and a lil kiss. I should have stuck by him, but I didn't. No one since has made me curious enough to ask for a meet.

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RE: Fear of real life encounters - 12/30/2007 11:14:59 AM

littlelostbunny

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Heck, I still get nervous about going out to lunch with people (both kinky and non-kinky) I've already met in-person once or twice before.

I had met members of a TNG group on-line but never had a chance to meet any of them in person until the night of a play party. That night certainly helped to establish connections and friendships and I'm so glad I went.

I have yet to meet anybody one-on-one, mostly because I'm nervous about it. It's definitely intimidating, even though I know that it's drinks only and (more than likely) no play.

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RE: Fear of real life encounters - 12/30/2007 4:49:09 PM

SirJohnMandevill

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Joined: 11/10/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: TallDarkAndWitty

but I still get butterflies when I meet someone new for the first time.

That's me. I'm not known for a lack of self-confidence,

but I want to make a good first impression. It's the old NASA astronaut's prayer: "Please, God, don't let me fuck up...."

Once we get into the swing of things -- if, in fact, we do -- my butterflies leave for the stratosphere.

Les (Purveyor of Fine, Handcrafted Kink)

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