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[Poll]

BDSM deception...how much will you admit to?

I have never told anyone anything other than the truth.

69% (39)

I told a few fibs when I was starting out.

12% (7)

I created a "backstory" for myself but dropped it a few years ago.

0% (0)

I created a "backstory" for myself and still use it.

5% (3)

I have no experience but my "backstory", but everything else is true.

1% (1)

I am not who/what I say I am.

1% (1)

I have four profiles, one for each gender and side of the slash.

8% (5)

Total Votes : 56

(last vote on : 2/4/2008 1:46:36 AM)
(Poll will run till: -- )

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BDSM deception...how much will you admit to? - 12/28/2007 8:42:12 AM

TallDarkAndWitty

Posts: 1893
Joined: 6/12/2004
From: Rochester, NY
Status: offline

There are countless threads decrying the horrors of deception in the BDSM world, be it Ancient Training Houses or men pretending to be women or simple no-shows. Yet, how much are you willing to admit to deceiving others yourself?

I will get the confessional train rolling by admitting to my two indiscretions:

1) Back in 1994, I think, there was this web-based chat service called "Bianca's Smut Shack" that had a "Basement Chat" for those into BDSM. I spent a few weeks there as a Domme. I wish I could remember my screen name... Anyway, I developed an online relationship with a fem sub, and once I realized I could never do anything more than chat online with this woman (maybe?) I dropped the persona and never went back.

2) I told my first real slave (again back in 1994 or 1995) that I had seen a Dutch slave training manual dating back to the 19th century, filled with illustrations of positions and training regimens.

Why is it that we do this? I consider myself to be very open, honest, and, quite frankly, out about my experiences and desires, yet I felt it necessary to create some myths about myself and my experiences. Is the pressure on dominants to be experienced so overwhelming that we have to lie about our experience in order to get some? And is that kind of pressure applied to other genders/sides of the slash?

What do you think?

Taggard

_____________________________

A most rewarding compliment is an insult from the ill-informed.

My slave: Kat (RainaVerene on the other side) and her website: RainaVerene.com

Post #: 1

RE: BDSM deception...how much will you admit to? - 12/28/2007 8:43:57 AM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

I go for getting blowjobs, that is my story and I am sticking to it.

Ron

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to TallDarkAndWitty)

Post #: 2

RE: BDSM deception...how much will you admit to? - 12/28/2007 8:53:07 AM

sexyred1

Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline

I never have lied about any BDSM experience...why would I? All of my real life experience was amazing and my stories better than any lie I could have made up. I just do not choose to reveal all my stories until I really get to know someone.

Sorry. but I do not get deception, if you deceive once even in a seemingly innocuous area, you will deceive again in a more important one. Some people enjoy the myth more than their own reality.

(in reply to mnottertail)

Post #: 3

RE: BDSM deception...how much will you admit to? - 12/28/2007 10:06:42 AM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

I have never fibbed about my lack of experience or subsequent experience, but I did fib about my name before, to a guy online about 8 years ago. I told him my name is Anne and it's not. A couple of weeks later I told him my real name.

I don't think I'm going to hell for that, though :)

(in reply to TallDarkAndWitty)

Post #: 4

RE: BDSM deception...how much will you admit to? - 12/28/2007 10:24:10 AM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

If your name ain't either ownie or yout, you sure as fuck ARE going to hell.

Vinny

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to ownedgirlie)

Post #: 5

RE: BDSM deception...how much will you admit to? - 12/28/2007 10:28:24 AM

sambamanslilgirl

Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline

the truth ...nothing but the truth from me

_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...

...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to mnottertail)

Post #: 6

RE: BDSM deception...how much will you admit to? - 12/28/2007 10:47:20 AM

SL4V3M4YB3

Posts: 3506
Joined: 12/20/2007
From: S.E. London U.K.
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: TallDarkAndWitty
"Bianca's Smut Shack"

Where did all the quality sites go?

Once I pretended to be a goat but I'm sure you don't want to know why.

I admire you candidness TallDarkAndWitty.

< Message edited by SL4V3M4YB3 -- 12/28/2007 10:50:08 AM >

_____________________________

Memory Lane...been there done that.

(in reply to TallDarkAndWitty)

Post #: 7

RE: BDSM deception...how much will you admit to? - 12/28/2007 10:52:29 AM

EvilGenie

Posts: 1323
Joined: 9/10/2007
From: Morocco and Maine occasionally
Status: offline

My lifestyle experiences, and my life in general, are and have been far more interesting than any tale I could have told. In fact, most think what I tell them is a tale until they get to know me and realise that is is not. Nah lying is no fun when my truth is quite fascinating.

I don't lie anyway. When I have fibbed in my life, which is rare and not about bdsm, it makes me want to

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)

Post #: 8

RE: BDSM deception...how much will you admit to? - 12/28/2007 10:54:46 AM

marieToo

Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
Status: offline

I'm just a loud-mouth broad from Jersey. I've never pretended to be anything but.

_____________________________

marie.

I give good agita.

(in reply to TallDarkAndWitty)

Post #: 9

RE: BDSM deception...how much will you admit to? - 12/28/2007 11:05:50 AM

TallDarkAndWitty

Posts: 1893
Joined: 6/12/2004
From: Rochester, NY
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SL4V3M4YB3

Once I pretended to be a goat but I'm sure you don't want to know why.

Sounds like an interesting story...try me!

_____________________________

A most rewarding compliment is an insult from the ill-informed.

My slave: Kat (RainaVerene on the other side) and her website: RainaVerene.com

(in reply to SL4V3M4YB3)

Post #: 10

RE: BDSM deception...how much will you admit to? - 12/28/2007 11:07:42 AM

SL4V3M4YB3

Posts: 3506
Joined: 12/20/2007
From: S.E. London U.K.
Status: offline

Damn now I'm going to have to make something up on the spot.

I once pretended that I pretended to be a goat.

_____________________________

Memory Lane...been there done that.

(in reply to TallDarkAndWitty)

Post #: 11

RE: BDSM deception...how much will you admit to? - 12/28/2007 11:11:31 AM

TallDarkAndWitty

Posts: 1893
Joined: 6/12/2004
From: Rochester, NY
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SL4V3M4YB3
I once pretended that I pretended to be a goat.

Liar! *laughing*

_____________________________

A most rewarding compliment is an insult from the ill-informed.

My slave: Kat (RainaVerene on the other side) and her website: RainaVerene.com

(in reply to SL4V3M4YB3)

Post #: 12

RE: BDSM deception...how much will you admit to? - 12/28/2007 11:35:37 AM

cuffnspankme

Posts: 2812
Joined: 6/14/2007
Status: offline

I do not see the point in making things up or in telling a lie. If you keep it up you will eventually get caught. And you have to keep track of what you have told to whom. What you haven't told them. And pray that people that you know don't get together and talk about you, especially if you have told them different stories.

Tis much easier to just be truthful about things. Now if you want to hide your real name, job, where you live, etc...thats fine up to a point. That point is usually meeting in real life. I do know some, in my local BDSM group that I know as their "scene" name. I do know their real name but would not think of calling them anything but the "scene" name.

This lifestyle we lead is filled with enough secrets and deceptions for most, why make it worse and make up some story. Be honest, its the only way to go.

_____________________________

I do not know why it is, but the condition of slavery makes a woman very beautiful. It removes inhibitions to the manifestation of her femininity and her deepest needs.

(in reply to TallDarkAndWitty)

Post #: 13

RE: BDSM deception...how much will you admit to? - 12/28/2007 11:44:16 AM

CreativeDominant

Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline

I haven't lied about my BDSM & D/s experiences. When I was new, I stated that I was new and as I have gained experience, I have told about what led me to the point I am at...if I felt that the person needed/deserved the whole story at that time. Let's face it...it is not deceptive to not tell someone you have just met or have only been talking to for awhile everything about how you got here. As sexyred noted, it is a choice that we are all faced with and to reveal all for the sake of "honesty" to someone who barely knows you or who hasn't even begun to understand your basic motivations and desires yet, let alone your deeper, darker, more complex ones is taking a huge risk. But...that does not mean you have to lie about it by either making stories up about experiences you have never had OR about not having had experiences that you HAVE had.

(in reply to cuffnspankme)

Post #: 14

RE: BDSM deception...how much will you admit to? - 12/28/2007 11:47:01 AM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

If your name ain't either ownie or yout, you sure as fuck ARE going to hell.

Vinny

It's both.

~Mona Lisa Vito

(in reply to mnottertail)

Post #: 15

RE: BDSM deception...how much will you admit to? - 12/28/2007 12:55:25 PM

NorthernGent

Posts: 8730
Joined: 7/10/2006
Status: offline

Admittedly, in my youth, I did use a few tricks of the trade - such as telling prospective girlfriends that I'm the only white, 5'7, non-American member of the Harlem Globe Trotters - youth eh.

Mind you, if you're going to tell her some lies, tell her you've got a cock like the Eiffel Tower or something - by the time she realises, it'll be a case of 'yeah, I over-estimated the situation slightly, never mind, let's just crack on regardless'.

In terms of experience, I haven't told lies, nor have I told the truth. Of the two women I've met from this site, neither of them asked, and both were interested in one of the few areas in which I do have some solid experience, so no further questions asked.

_____________________________

I have the courage to be a coward - but not beyond my limits.

Sooner or later, the man who wins is the man who thinks he can.

(in reply to TallDarkAndWitty)

Post #: 16

RE: BDSM deception...how much will you admit to? - 12/28/2007 2:20:41 PM

RazorJAK

Posts: 821
Joined: 8/5/2006
From: Manistee
Status: offline

Regarding BDSM, I've never told falsehoods of experiences I've had etc etc etc ...

Regarding my youth, of course I've told lies.

"I won't cum in your mouth."
"I'll call you."
"Damn, that was fantastic."

_____________________________

"Are all men from Michigan such loud-mouthed braggarts?"
"Just me baby. Just me."
~ Evil Dead - the musical ~

(in reply to TallDarkAndWitty)

Post #: 17

RE: BDSM deception...how much will you admit to? - 12/28/2007 2:34:12 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

What's a back story?

I've put things on my profile that weren't true but that was for my benefit. Listing myself as 100 years old and from Point Barrow was to keep people from contacting me, not to lie to them.

Most of them I never got far enough to talk to in depth. I did tell The Man the truth, but bit by bit as I felt comfortable doing so. I don't call refusing to answer lying.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to RazorJAK)

Post #: 18

RE: BDSM deception...how much will you admit to? - 12/28/2007 2:35:56 PM

Kirei

Posts: 146
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

I've always been truthful when it comes to bdsm, you need too there are just too many dangers. I have learned though even when you are telling the truth and can prove it...if people do not like you in this lifestyle they will do, and use whatever they can to dis-credit you or make you look bad towards others.

Koneko

(in reply to TallDarkAndWitty)

Post #: 19

RE: BDSM deception...how much will you admit to? - 12/28/2007 2:39:36 PM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

Well now I guess it depends on what someone considers a lie. If it is by omission and on here, then yes. I don't blab my whole life story and so forth online. Now if someone has a reasonable chance of being someone I might be interested in meeting......then they get the straight scoop.

As far as experience doing specific physical acts that fit within BDSM, I've said many times that I am quite inexperienced.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to TallDarkAndWitty)

Post #: 20

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