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Poachers... - 12/28/2007 9:40:53 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		This question has been on my mind for a while. Moreso lately since I have seen more of these over the holidays.
Poachers... thats what Fox calls the Dominants who contact him asking or demanding that he serve them when it is so glaringly obvious that he is taken. There are also the ones who make comments such as"Well, if and when things between you and she dont work out, keep me in mind." So, being rebound is OK, I guess, as long as they get some attention.

Personally, I just see it as pretty sad and clueless. I know when I get subs who offer themselves, I just point them to the profile and suggest they read up before they contact someone.
Depending on how the email is phrased, Fox tends to get fairly snarky in his replies to the ones who demand his service, especally if they say anything about me not being the best fit for him. He has free reign to answer as he pleases, since they werent respectful enough to read his profile and know I already own him they havent given him a reason to respect them.

Angel left the site becasue of comments like these. He couldnt handle the fact that every email he got was the same, badmouthing me and trying to poach him.  Fox handles them better, they are funny to him rather than frusterating.

So, my question is... for those of you owned now or who dealt with this when they were if they are not at the moment...

How did you deal with people like this? Did you direct the mail to your Dominant and let them deal with it? Were you allowed to respond on your own or did they have some say in what you replied back? Did you get nasty, stay polite, block and ignore without a reply?

DV




_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Poachers... - 12/28/2007 10:16:19 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		My profile is clearly marked that they should email him, and if their intention was honorable and innocent they would email him and not me...

I have protocol set up on how to deal with these individuals...

I cut and paste this into the email

From my profile  
I have been instructed that I am not to respond to any offers of friendship or otherwise from Dominants or switches in Top mode without the approval of my Daddy,  Sinergy. Feel free to email him with any and all queries.  
Thank you, Julia


If they continue to email me, I tell my Daddy and he politely emails them that they should desist from bothering me... so far no one he has ever emailed has bothered me again.




< Message edited by juliaoceania -- 12/28/2007 10:17:09 PM >

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Poachers... - 12/28/2007 10:16:39 PM   
AAkasha


Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline
I have to wonder if there's a certain psychology at play here - the idea that since a submissive is already "collared" or taken by another femdom (in a real life relationship, no less) that means he's sort of got a seal of approval and he's considered quality goods (sorry to be so objectifying, but hey, based on the thread about that, seems like most men don't mind it).  In other words, femdoms might think - hey, this guy obviously is three dimensional, real, and SUBMITS to a woman and she found him worthy enough to want to keep him - he's already 10x better than some of the cyber guys here that promise the world and then vanish.    And, it shows that he's a work in progress, he has experience and is getting more experience, and he's not jerking you around, so therefore, he's got to have some good qualities.

I think submissives are a dime a dozen, but "quality" submissives are harder to find - and those that have shown they can stick around and are not just kind of breezing through a cyber fantasy and in a few days will be gone.  A man in a real relationship with a real femdo has a certain level of credibility.

I would take it as a compliment - to both you and to him - that others are envious and want a part of it.  You aren't threatened and he's not interested (and is merely amused) so that's a good thing.  I am terribly possessive of my husband and don't like him "out there" for others to see and want a piece of.  He's also not that interested in the kinky communities online anyway.  I've had submissive partners in the past that got hit on at parties and whatnot when they were with me, and that got old fast. But men do love the attention!

Akasha


_____________________________

Akasha's Web - All original Femdom content since 1995
Don't email me here, email me at [email protected]

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Poachers... - 12/28/2007 10:25:39 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		I find it extremely offensive that anyone might think I would possibly even glance at another Master like that.  I know it's just ignorance and arrogance, but I find it outrageous, especially if it's someone I know from here.

I just got a "canned" email the other day from some guy.  It was clearly a pre-written form letter.  I don't bother my Master with these things.  He knows I am well equipped to handle it myself.  If it was someone who I know - say a friend or something - then I tell him, because he might wish me to cease conversing with the person.  With the canned one I just received, I asked what part of "owned"girlie did he not understand, and good luck in his search.  He replied with an apology, he sent it on accident, "...but here's my personal email, I'd like to get to know you."  Bah.


(in reply to DiurnalVampire)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Poachers... - 12/28/2007 10:32:23 PM   
rubberpet


Posts: 1743
Joined: 4/6/2006
From: The Land of Voodoo
Status: offline 		I usually get one or two of those kinds of letters a week.  Mistress knows about every one of them because I tell Her about them.  But I'm a lucky one, I guess, because She lets me respond in my true form, like only I can...LOL.  A reply from me often includes very unsublike attitude and language.  It's never the same exact words, but it certainly involves mockery and ridicule in some way, shape, or form.  After my reply, I never get a follow-up letter because I always mention that Mistress is being alerted of their intention and She will know very shortly who to look out for.  It's kind of like saying, "I'm telling on you!!!"  LOL 

Besides, I'm with a Ferarri, why would I want anything else?

_____________________________

Collared and devoted property of Mistress Lorelei (vampchick88) as of 3/26/08.

Rubberpet - The Resident Anti-Subby and mysterious shadowy figure known as Voodoo, proud hitman and wiseguy for the Subby Mafia.


(in reply to DiurnalVampire)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Poachers... - 12/28/2007 10:34:55 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		I am defiantely not threatened.  What I find most amusing is when they get angry at him for saying no. He has only sent one email to me to "handle". Everything else he has done pretty well on his own. I wonder if these Dominants consider that if Fox (or anyone else) would leave their current owner for them... that they would turn around and leave them for someone new at the drop of a hat too.

I hadnt considered having Fox put that things have to be cleared through me. He is alowed to talk to anyone he wishes... however he does need permission to move to yahoo. Anyone who makes it that far, im sure isnt trying to get his attention in an innapropriate way.

DV


_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to ownedgirlie)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Poachers... - 12/28/2007 10:40:29 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		There was one I sent to my Master.  A man emailed me asking me to propose to my Master that they swap girls for a "scene", for fun.

My Master had me quote his response to the man, which went something like, "Send your girl to my slave and I to enjoy, and then I can determine if she is anywhere near as entertaining to what I am currently receiving...although it is doubtful.  If she is, then I will consider a temporary swap."

As my Master predicted would occur, I never heard from the guy again.

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Poachers... - 12/28/2007 10:44:30 PM   
Emperor1956


Posts: 2370
Joined: 11/7/2005
Status: offline 		This is in the nature of a Fast Reply, tho it is directed to DV's original post.

I'm a bit surprised to see this discussed by DV, Julia, OwnedGirlie among others, because it seems that you otherwise intelligent women wouldn't waste so much thought on this trivial issue.  In essence, you are complaining about a specific type of rude email.  Well....Duh.

It is the anonymous Internet, ladies, and it is essentially a sex/hookup site.  Of course the clueless "poach".  They probably tried to do it to their buddy's girls in  in junior high, and they probably would do so in the real world, if they weren't afraid of getting a well-deserved bust in the chops.  But on here, it is like taking the proverbial candy from a baby.  What's the consequence?  A snide email from Fox, or a stern one from Sinergy?   I'm sorry -- I doubt the dissuasive power of those replies.  (Of course maybe its a twist on the obscene phone call quirk -- they really WANT a tongue lashing from DV or Sinergy).

And, keep in mind, on some level, they wouldn't keep doing it if it didn't work for them. 

This is the quintessential time to use the delete key, and then if you are REALLY troubled, block.  To discuss and debate?  There MUST be something more important to talk about.  Dryer Lint?

E.

_____________________________

"When you wake up, Pooh," said Piglet, "what's the first thing you say?"
"What's for breakfast? What do you say, Piglet?"
"I say, I wonder what's going to happen exciting today?"
Pooh nodded thoughtfully.
"It's the same thing," he said.

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Poachers... - 12/28/2007 10:53:10 PM   
peppermint


Posts: 5169
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline 		I see it this way.  They can read my profile and know that i'm collared.  IF they think they can get me to cyber..or meet them without my Dom...well.....i don't really give a sh*t.....their problem...not mine.  I just laugh and think it's kinda funny. 

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Poachers... - 12/28/2007 10:55:06 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		Hi Emporer,

Well we all have those little things that rub us wrong.  While I let lots of things roll off my back anymore, someone who thinks he can outdo Mr. Wonderful is just...well....insulting to me. 

But you make a good point.  :)

And my dryer is lint-free at the moment....heh.

(in reply to Emperor1956)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Poachers... - 12/28/2007 11:17:21 PM   
junecleaver


Posts: 1145
Joined: 4/6/2005
Status: offline 		I don't reply to 97% of my e-mail even if it's just a polite compliment.  Many men will send a compliment as a way to get their foot in the door, so to avoid any confusion I ignore them all.  (Even though I have and still do receive completely innocent compliments.)  Being snarky requires too much energy. 

No random internet pervert can hurt my feelings or insult me or my Dominant.  It's just not possible because as far as I am concerned they are not real.  No one would come up to my Dom and I in a bar and hit on me...unless they wanted to be punched in the face.  So that kind of behavior just isn't 'real' to me and has no effect on me.


_____________________________


"No one will ever win the battle of the sexes; there's too much fraternizing with the enemy. "
--Henry A. Kissinger

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Poachers... - 12/28/2007 11:18:50 PM   
Wildfleurs


Posts: 1650
Joined: 9/24/2004
From: Connecticut
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DiurnalVampire

So, my question is... for those of you owned now or who dealt with this when they were if they are not at the moment...

How did you deal with people like this? Did you direct the mail to your Dominant and let them deal with it? Were you allowed to respond on your own or did they have some say in what you replied back? Did you get nasty, stay polite, block and ignore without a reply?

DV





The last thing my owner's interested in after a long day is looking at trolling emails directed towards me.  I don't bother to respond to the emails, hell I'm bad about doing emails in general, but I don't even bother to answer IMs or emails that seem like they are trolling for my affections or attention - I just don't have enough time or interest to bother. 

C~


_____________________________

"Just because you've always done it that way doesn't mean it's not incredibly stupid." -despair.com

~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The heart of it all - http://www.wildfleurs.com
~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Poachers... - 12/28/2007 11:24:52 PM   
Vendaval


Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline 		One of my slaves is on this site and tells any trolls that all contact has to be approved by me.
I have only had to confront a few individuals.  He blocks most of them right away and they move on to their next target.
 
DV, I am sorry that one of your subs became so frustrated that he left CM.
A sense of humor is vital to maintaining your sanity in cyber-space.

_____________________________

"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE


http://KinkMeet.co.uk

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Poachers... - 12/28/2007 11:58:17 PM   
sambamanslilgirl


Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline 		i used to direct all messages for me to Daddy ...even stated something to that effect in my profile - it never worked and He's hardly ever here so i handle them.  i find it's more fun to squash the poachers and then tell Daddy who contacted me.

one poacher from my area asked to me to "run away with him to paradise and fulfill my lifelong fantasy yadda yadda because people like us (black women and white men) cannot met under normal circumstances in society" - i guess he hasn't left the bomb shelter recntly ...others wanted to replace Daddy or asked if Daddy shares me.




_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...


...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Poachers... - 12/29/2007 12:37:24 AM   
NakedGirlScout


Posts: 370
Joined: 1/10/2006
From: Toronto
Status: offline 		We switched to a couples profile for that reason, and all bothering emails have stopped. If one is ignorant enough to write to us, frequently my owner sees the message before I do. We don't usually respond, unless we're in shitty enough moods to want to verbally bonk someone on the head and the hapless perv is handy. We don't really care what some guy we've never met, and never gonna meet, thinks of us or anything else.

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Poachers... - 12/29/2007 1:48:55 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		It never bothered me to get those sort of emails.  Some people will try anything.  I also would not respond to those emails.  Why be bothered by silly internet behavior?

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Poachers... - 12/29/2007 2:00:06 AM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		Emperor... perhaps you misread my intial post.
I am not complaining about the existance of the emails. I expect them and they amuse me greatly. They bothered Angel enough for him to run off the site but I dont worry about real life people hitting on Fox... online certainly wouldnt.
The majority of the poachers people replied about on here are male. Fox is male, and his poachers are mainly female.

I was asking how others dealt with the emails. Not how should I, not how to get rid of them... just what sort of leeway submissives have with their Dom's blessings to tell people off if they get messages like that. Fox is quite wel spoken and rather enjoys being able to tell someone where to get off if they cant take the time to read his profile.

This isnt a whine and cheese party, its just curiousity for curiousity sake.

DV


_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Poachers... - 12/29/2007 2:02:45 AM   
Hergirl0824


Posts: 119
Joined: 10/2/2007
Status: offline 		unfortunately this happens all too often...because i identify as Bisexual, i have actually had male Doms and male subs use the old line that my Mistress "doesn't have the right equipment" to keep me satisfied..i just laugh and respond that She does indeed, all of it bought and paid for and it doesn't wear out.....Mistress gives me free reign to deal with these types of emails as i see fit. if they become nasty or a problem for me then i block the person and forward everything to Her to deal with

_____________________________

collared to Mistress Sizzlynn

When i let go of what i am, i become what i might be

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Poachers... - 12/29/2007 2:45:59 AM   
adoracat


Posts: 1779
Joined: 2/16/2007
Status: offline 		~~fast reply~~

i got that type of email for a while after Daddy and i were first together, and before i changed my picture.  my profile states that i'm with him...and yet i would get the "you know i could do you SO much better than he can!" emails.

and most of them from non-local D-types.  my response would be "thank you, i'll let Daddy know you feel that way" and rarely got a second email.  i've not gotten any email of that sort in a couple of months now, and that's JUST fine with me.

kitten

(in reply to Hergirl0824)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Poachers... - 12/29/2007 3:07:40 AM   
batshalom


Posts: 1990
Joined: 9/17/2007
Status: offline 		~fast reply~

Aba had access to my account. He didn't tell me how to reply and read what he wanted to read. When I spoke with him, frustrated with other Dominants writing inappropriate messages, he said "yaldah, it is up to the sub to respond or not respond. They can do nothing without your consent." It put things in perspective.

(in reply to adoracat)
Profile   Post #: 20
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