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calling all dominants - 12/30/2007 5:00:17 AM

Prinsexx

Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline

Why is it that Doms never seem to let their submissibes know they fall apart without the submission?
I quit three months ago and all he could say in a recent phone call was....~I hope I am not giving too much of my power away here but I begin to miss 'em~......them? who? another or was he trying to say he was a human being afterall and missed ME?
PS myanon closed the thread that wrote from a Dom's heart and there was a post there where a Dom confessed to having fallen apart without her. And yes I know i could go to 'ask a Dominant' but that would only be one person's opinion.
So: calling all you slave owners, old guard, new guard, leathermen, real-timers and strictly come sadists and any other dom types.....have you hearts? and did you miss her? the one? the first one? the only one? or do you miss one of many? when she is gone?

< Message edited by Prinsexx -- 12/30/2007 5:01:51 AM >

Post #: 1

RE: calling all dominants - 12/30/2007 5:06:07 AM

Suleiman

Posts: 1127
Joined: 9/9/2004
Status: offline

They're all the one. I don't play with people I'm not willing to get attached to. And yeah, when things fall apart, it hurts like hell. I've never been afraid to admit it. Then again, I'm secure enough to admit that I adopt orphan teddy bears.

_____________________________

Think of my verbosity as a sort of litmus test for our relationship. I write in a manner identical to how I speak and how I think. If you can not cope with what I have written here, it is probably for the best if we go our separate ways.

(in reply to Prinsexx)

Post #: 2

RE: calling all dominants - 12/30/2007 5:10:17 AM

Sexynmentalinkc

Posts: 132
Joined: 4/14/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Prinsexx

have you hearts? and did you miss her? the one? the first one?

In a word - yes.

In more words...

Yes, it hurts horribly - excrutiatingly.

Some of the only pains that I could imagine to be worse would be loss if a child, parent or a devasting life change (like those that lost everything in Katrina).

I think any Dom that puts up that machismo, I-never-hurt-emotionally sort of wall is a fool, a liar or in denial.

*tips his hat*

- Mr. S

_____________________________

"I think all right-thinking people in this country are sick and tired of being told that ordinary, decent people are fed up in this country with being sick and tired. ...I'm certainly not. And I'm sick and tired of being told that I am..."

(in reply to Prinsexx)

Post #: 3

RE: calling all dominants - 12/30/2007 5:18:02 AM

Prinsexx

Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Suleiman

They're all the one. I don't play with people I'm not willing to get attached to. And yeah, when things fall apart, it hurts like hell. I've never been afraid to admit it. Then again, I'm secure enough to admit that I adopt orphan teddy bears.

Oh so sweet and it's a pity I am not an orphan teddy bear but jolly good I can read 12pt red type (bold of course).
Thank you for the insight.

(in reply to Suleiman)

Post #: 4

RE: calling all dominants - 12/30/2007 5:21:35 AM

Prinsexx

Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sexynmentalinkc

quote:

ORIGINAL: Prinsexx

have you hearts? and did you miss her? the one? the first one?

In a word - yes.

In more words...

Yes, it hurts horribly - excrutiatingly.

Some of the only pains that I could imagine to be worse would be loss if a child, parent or a devasting life change (like those that lost everything in Katrina).

I think any Dom that puts up that machismo, I-never-hurt-emotionally sort of wall is a fool, a liar or in denial.

*tips his hat*

- Mr. S

Is tipping a hat a displacement activity? (Only joking). Thanks for sharing and being human..
Maybe I could try being nice to him then?

(in reply to Sexynmentalinkc)

Post #: 5

RE: calling all dominants - 12/30/2007 5:22:56 AM

topcat

Posts: 1675
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Tidewater, VA
Status: offline

there have been those I missed actively, everyday, for years, and some that I miss as much as a cigarette I smoked to the butt.

most fall somewhere in the middle.

regardless, I won't bare my soul to them, for the most part. If they cared, they'd still be here.

_____________________________

-there is no remission without blood-

(in reply to Sexynmentalinkc)

Post #: 6

RE: calling all dominants - 12/30/2007 5:26:09 AM

Suleiman

Posts: 1127
Joined: 9/9/2004
Status: offline

You may not be a teddy bear hon but I'm sure there's someone who'll love (and beat) the stuffin' out of you.

_____________________________

Think of my verbosity as a sort of litmus test for our relationship. I write in a manner identical to how I speak and how I think. If you can not cope with what I have written here, it is probably for the best if we go our separate ways.

(in reply to Prinsexx)

Post #: 7

RE: calling all dominants - 12/30/2007 5:26:36 AM

Prinsexx

Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: topcat

there have been those I missed actively, everyday, for years, and some that I miss as much as a cigarette I smoked to the butt.

most fall somewhere in the middle.

regardless, I won't bare my soul to them, for the most part. If they cared, they'd still be here.

Whew it's exactly that though....I want to be the one he misses every day....but although I know there's a soul....he's not going to bare it and keeps on doing that Dom thing...but you are right, if I cared (enough) I would still be there......

(in reply to topcat)

Post #: 8

RE: calling all dominants - 12/30/2007 5:28:52 AM

Prinsexx

Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Suleiman

You may not be a teddy bear hon but I'm sure there's someone who'll love (and beat) the stuffin' out of you.

I am not a toy or a teddy bear but I'm sure there's someone who'll love me (and beat) the stuffin' out of me.
Might I put this on my profile?

(in reply to Suleiman)

Post #: 9

RE: calling all dominants - 12/30/2007 5:33:12 AM

Suleiman

Posts: 1127
Joined: 9/9/2004
Status: offline

Sweetie, it's your profile. I just assembled some words. Use the ones you like. I'm partial to Xymurgy myself.

_____________________________

Think of my verbosity as a sort of litmus test for our relationship. I write in a manner identical to how I speak and how I think. If you can not cope with what I have written here, it is probably for the best if we go our separate ways.

(in reply to Prinsexx)

Post #: 10

RE: calling all dominants - 12/30/2007 5:34:13 AM

julietsierra

Posts: 1841
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline

wow... I want to be the one he never ever misses - cause I'm always there...yes, I know, that's a different thread. But just hearing of how difficult it is makes me want to rush on over just to let him know I'm not going anywhere.

I guess I'm just saying this cause I had a bomb of sorts dropped recently (not by him, but it affected me badly and therefore, affected him as well.) It's been difficult... not impossible, but difficult and very painful. I've learned lots of things from it though, so I guess ultimately, it's not all bad, but this was one lesson I wish I'd never had the "pleasure" of learning.

juliet

< Message edited by julietsierra -- 12/30/2007 5:35:58 AM >

(in reply to Prinsexx)

Post #: 11

RE: calling all dominants - 12/30/2007 5:35:23 AM

topcat

Posts: 1675
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Tidewater, VA
Status: offline

Prinsexx,

Exactly! if you don't care enough, why should he expose his vunerablitiy to you? for your amusement? ego boost?

It's different for men (duh). If you're in, you're in (maybe), but if you're out- you are way out....

Stay warm,
Lawrence

_____________________________

-there is no remission without blood-

(in reply to Prinsexx)

Post #: 12

RE: calling all dominants - 12/30/2007 5:37:30 AM

topcat

Posts: 1675
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Tidewater, VA
Status: offline

M.Suleiman-

How the hell are you, My long gone brother?

good to see your pixels, sir...

Stay warm,
Lawrence

_____________________________

-there is no remission without blood-

(in reply to Suleiman)

Post #: 13

RE: calling all dominants - 12/30/2007 5:41:09 AM

Suleiman

Posts: 1127
Joined: 9/9/2004
Status: offline

I'm unemployed, sleeping in a friend's damp and drafty basement, and my cat has a chronic condition that will eventually lead to his painful demise. This is the best year I've had since we last spoke.

_____________________________

Think of my verbosity as a sort of litmus test for our relationship. I write in a manner identical to how I speak and how I think. If you can not cope with what I have written here, it is probably for the best if we go our separate ways.

(in reply to topcat)

Post #: 14

RE: calling all dominants - 12/30/2007 5:53:28 AM

Wisenlilminx

Posts: 56
Joined: 2/11/2007
Status: offline

I don't fall apart. But I miss them.

(in reply to Prinsexx)

Post #: 15

RE: calling all dominants - 12/30/2007 5:54:42 AM

topcat

Posts: 1675
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Tidewater, VA
Status: offline

M. Suleiman-

SHeesh. Here's hoping for a better new year. this was a rough one for a lot of us.

Still, it's grand to see you back.

Stay warm,
Lawrence

_____________________________

-there is no remission without blood-

(in reply to Suleiman)

Post #: 16

RE: calling all dominants - 12/30/2007 6:16:44 AM

jesiul

Posts: 111
Joined: 7/16/2005
Status: offline

Just tossing in my two cents worth, I can tell you that the two Dominants that I have had long term relationships with; are and shall always be my friends. Once we got passed the pain of the relationship not working out we where able to come together as friends and have openly admitted that we miss the feelings that brought us together as a couple.

A dominant friend of mine once said “All submissive’s are perfect, just not perfect for every Dominant.” In other words, there is nothing wrong with neither the Dom nor me; we just didn’t fit well together as a couple.

~jesi~

_____________________________

*When others asked the truth of me, I was convinced it was not the truth they wanted, but an illusion they could bear to live with.*

(in reply to topcat)

Post #: 17

RE: calling all dominants - 12/30/2007 6:16:58 AM

Maya2001

Posts: 1656
Joined: 8/22/2007
From: Woodstock ONT,CANADA
Status: offline

I would not necesssarily say fall apart but the first I know does me and still phones once in a while to see how I am doing, even offered to train me as a domme. The most recent I believe does as well we have had a on/off before but he came across as an uberdom and I backed away then and found someone else for a while, once he see I was searching came back a bit milder but recently the uberdom attitude came back again and when I expressed my concerns they were brushed off as unimportant and he asked me to write an assignment as to that effect, well I did the assignment expressing how I honestly felt instead and wrote I had to end the relationship if his way was the only way it could continue, still waiting for his reply, I expect his pride will be hurt and things will end again as a result, he will miss me but he likely won't admit it as it conflicts with the image he is trying to portray to him it would be an expressions of weakness, I won't beat him up over that or feel hurt or angry because of , that is part of his makeup the person he is. All it means is we are not compatible, I need someone who is comfortable expressing their feelings and admit that possibly their way of approaching isn't working and will listen to some of my input how it can be changed to make it work, if I tried to force or say he wrong because of I would be guilty of the "one twue way mentality" when the reality is we are simply incompatible, his methods/attitude will suit other subs just fine

_____________________________

Lead me not into temptation - I can find the way myself

(in reply to Suleiman)

Post #: 18

RE: calling all dominants - 12/30/2007 6:19:22 AM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

I don't fall apart. I have a husband, I have students, I have family and friends who rely on me. They can also help me but I do have to keep going.

My heart has been broken sure in the past by a sub or slave but I grieve and I move on -- it is not easy but hey, I'm still here aren't I?

It depends on why things ended frankly. It was a mutual decision or a necessary mundane issue -- that will hurt but life happens. Perhaps you stay friends. You can indeed miss activities or interactions hopefully as friends you are able to say that without it sounding like pressure or blame.

If it ended because of lying or jealousy or other negative reasons that can hurt even more because it can trigger self-doubt. "How did I ever believe this person was genuine?" But later (perhaps years later) you've learned some things and you grow. In my experience thus far, I don't miss anything from those relationships. A bad ending taints the memories for me.

So I don't fall apart. Do I miss? Maybe depends on the circumstances.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to Prinsexx)

Post #: 19

RE: calling all dominants - 12/30/2007 7:17:21 AM

anowner

Posts: 24
Joined: 10/26/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline

Sometimes I have a heart, sometimes I don't, and sometimes when I do I don't show it.

The ones I tend to miss the most are the ones I met in vanilla circumstances.

(in reply to thetammyjo)

Post #: 20

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