RE: Is it always wrong to pay, even if it is by returning a favour?

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All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> RE: Is it always wrong to pay, even if it is by returning a favour?

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RE: Is it always wrong to pay, even if it is by returni... - 12/31/2007 10:41:59 AM

sirguym

Posts: 318
Joined: 8/10/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sirguym

perhaps give me a hand with some aspect of my business, we could talk more?'

Quote
Does this mean something like, "You have to add to the houshold and be part of the household. One of the things you could do to help me and make my life easier is to come in and do some filing twice a week for two hours at my business. This is a form of service that I want and need and would very much enjoy you offering. We will set up time as well to explore these things that you are curious about. I will give to you my time and effort, and I expect you to give to me your time and effort... yadda.. yadda."

OR does it mean, "There is a price for my services. This is the price. This act costs this. This act costs that. yadda yadda."
Unquote

Very much the former; it was stating that I was willing to negotiate a win/win situation for us both if it could be achieved; but that a 'he wins by getting what he wants, I lose by doing stuff that I don't enjoy much when I'd rather be doing something else', outcome would never be in prospect.

Though we never got to that stage; it appears my suggestion of any consideration of reciprocity meant I was morally repugnant to him.

I have several girls come here for that former type of service; I must assume they enjoy it as they keep coming back. Each does different things, according to their different abilities and preferences. (One or two highly qualified girls prefer really boring work like envelope-stuffing, as a 'junior office girl', in contrast to their everyday career.) It is real work, and if what they do is a net asset to us. they will get real rewards in terms of goods (maybe school or maid uniform) or services (chances to attend school, be a pony) in return, things that others pay good money for. In some cases where the work is directly valuable and 'mission critical' I will pay them money, 'a labourer is worthy of their hire'. I don't exploit people.

Yes, I play the 'old-fashioned male chauvinist boss' and they play the 'submissive office-girl'; we enjoy the game, but there is mutual respect.

(in reply to WillowRain)

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RE: Is it always wrong to pay, even if it is by returni... - 12/31/2007 2:46:31 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
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While I understand your logic, I rather disagree that he is somehow believing in Santa Claus because he thought a dominant might help him for free. All the help and training either of us have ever received has been free and done for the joy of helping others in the lifestyle.

Other than things that, as you said, you normally charge people for, I'm not sure you should have offered to help him real time if you just wanted to trade services. I would baulk at such an "offer", regardless of how it was presented. Unless it was an organized, formal classroom where I paid my lab fee the same as everyone else, someone would have to be teaching something pretty damn special for them to contact me and want to teach in exchange for services.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to sirguym)

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RE: Is it always wrong to pay, even if it is by returni... - 12/31/2007 3:06:56 PM

sirguym

Posts: 318
Joined: 8/10/2007
Status: offline

I too like to help people for free. I have done so many times over 20 years at great cost to myself, individually and at workshops at dozens of events over the years; usually without even receiving expenses.

I would have been prepared to talk, probably to help, had he been prepared to travel 2 hours to come and see me, but though he claimed to be well-off he was not prepared to make the effort come and see me.

My financial and time position remains that I just cannot afford to drive half-way across the country to indulge somebody who appeared to be only prepared to take and not to give in return.

If I was so profligate with my time I could fill my diary to bursting point from now until next Christmas - or whenever I go bankrupt!

I am not querying his right to refuse; only the logic that he uses to justify being gratuitously and needlessly offensive.

(in reply to AquaticSub)

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RE: Is it always wrong to pay, even if it is by returni... - 12/31/2007 3:16:37 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sirguym

I am not querying his right to refuse; only the logic that he uses to justify being gratuitously and needlessly offensive.

I dunnno but perhaps it's like when I e-mail a dominant back going "Sorry but I'm not interested" and they fire back with abuse. You can see where they got annoyed but there isn't any excuse for the abuse.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to sirguym)

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Post #: 24