RE: Baaaaaaaaad, Bad Bad

Well, i suppose there were bound to be some gullibable believers...*sigh*.

pinkpleasures

Yet another one gullible enough to believe what suits. My private life has been just that -- private. Just like any other member, i am entitled to respect from P/pl here; flaming me is as unacceptable as flaming A/anyone else. i do realise that there are cliques and such, but that does not obviate the need to speak with respect to another member.

As for online drama, i am truely amazed that a dialogue about ideas or questions is so difficult to conduct here. So many seem poised to "pounce" anytime T/their opinion is not supported. If Y/you're so sensitive Y/you cannot abide disagreement, whatever makes Y/you post on a public message board?

As i have said before, i think personal conflicts should be the subject of email, not the message boards, and there is no person on the boards blocked from reaching me by email. i have listened and learned as P/pl have attended to personal conflicts in email or IM, and yet these resolutions seem to fail in short order. i am truely amazed at P/pl who gave T/their word to handle such matters in private, as T/they discard T/their word -- T/their honor -- to return to flaming. What is about flaming that is so desirable? Is there some reason Y/you need an audience to air a personal grievance? Are Y/you fearful that without an audience Y/your voice is not heard? Do Y/you ever keep Y/your word?

i know i have lost my temper and been guilty of insulting a person or persons on the message boards myself. When i realised what i was doing was wrong, i approached the person(s) in question privately and sought an accord. And i cannot count how often i have apologised to S/someone one the boards as T/they have objected to my posts. i realise now that such apologies are useless; and i will stop making them as of today, unless i feel i have violated my obligation to be respectful.

i realise the Mods do regulate flaming; one of my first posts was on a thread pulled for flaming...involving TempestsPet as well as others. i felt better knowing that harrassment etc. was not tolerated by the Mods.

Lately it seems that S/some P/pl try to test the limits of the Mods' patience by flaming using an oblique reference in such a way that S/someone reading the thread will recognise the object of derision. That only adds cowardice to flaming.

There are times i agree and times i disagree. There are subjects i would like to see discussed. That to me is the purpose of a message board. However, i watched as the insecure and immature flamed a highly respected Dom on another post. It is apparent that S/some P/pl feel flaming is the purpose -- or one purpose -- of the message boards.

Y/you might refresh Y/yourselves on the Forum Guidelines, as well as the collarme Terms of Service.

http://www.collarchat.com/General_BDSM_Discussion/forumid_20/tt.htm

http://www.collarchat.com/Search/m_13127/tm.htm

http://www.collarme.com/bdsm/register.htm

pinkpleasures

i respect your wishes to "stay out of it", but you have been flamed as well, and i always want to hear what you have to say...as i am sure others do.

pinkpleasures

Yet more insults, TempestsPet. There's not one single ridiculous thing i said in my post regarding flaming. There's nothing "inane" about what i posted. You withdraw now because owning up to what you have done is apparently beyond you. You have never sent me an email so far as i recall since the day you gave your word; and i certainly do respond to all my email. You cannot accuse me of not listening if what you mean is, i should accept insults, etc., without a word of complaint.

As for "approval"; i will always need the approval of my friends; my family; my community. When/if i find my One, i am not going to misbehave behind His back and say "no opinion counts but His". MY opinion of MYSELF matters; and i try hard to keep my word.

If you did not "want to put people through this crap", then why did you break your agreement to handle personal grievances privately and return to flamimg? Perhaps you have no grasp of what "flaming" is. From the Forum Guidelines and the TOS, you can clearly see that harrassment, insults, amd hate speech are amoung the types of things regarded as "flaming"". Was it acceptable to say:

What purpose did this post serve, other than to harrass me and attempt to lable me a "cyber member" whose ideas and opinions etc. thus do not matter? It's apparent from the post that you have some grievance with me; yet you broke your word to keep such things off the boards. No one forced you to give your word...but once given, no one forced you to break it either. And in so doing, you lost some of my respect.

pinkpleasures

Yes, i hijacked Riot Girls's post a bit; and i am sorry. i am not prepared to begin a new thread on flaming at this time. i don't know that Riot Girl is that annoyed, but if so, i'm sure i'll hear about it. When a thread is begun, hijacking is always a possibility. i can surely point out others. It is not done out of disrespect for the Op; these things happen.

pinkpleasures

i suppose i care some; but it seems obvious you have not delved into the situation enough to know why i felt pushed beyond my tolerance by Emerald. This is a message board; it should be a place to exchange ideas and opinions.

What i posted above was NOT on flaming ME; it was on FLAMING. Frankly, brightspot, your post is also out of order. Why did you hold your tongue all this time? The quote you used is from a post i made on 8/22/05, and you said nada about it then. Seems fishy to me.

Seems more as if you felt annoyed and went looking for a post of mine to use to bolster/hide your new post about being annoyed, without being honest as to why you had such feelings. Also, once again, seems like the sort of personal insult prohibitted on the message boards, which ought to have been handled by email.

pinkpleasures

Riot Girl, it finally dawned on me i had not posted on what happened to you. Gawd knows nothing is more frightening than any threat to take your child, and i am so terribly sorry for you and Master and the child that any of this happened.

Yes, i know it will take time to recover emotionally from the massive betrayal by your friend. i just hope you do not lose the ability to trust those whom you know and respect.

As for how you handled it; once again, i am very impressed. i am not sure i could have kept the hysteria out of my voice. You are indeed a woman of substance.

i have only one piece of advice: if you feel the cops where you live are untrustworthy, hire a criminal lawyer for a modest fee, and in return, get his/her agreement to represent you 24/7 in the event you need a lawyer immediately.

Later in this thread i posted on flaming; hijacking the thread. i think it returned to your Op post, but i want to say i am sorry about the hijack. i guess this thread contains the insulting post that was the "straw that broke the camel's back".

pinkpleasures

The 'net version of this just happened to me. *sigh*

pinkpleasures

i fail to see how Riot Girl "found out quickly" as she was speaking of a friend of three years' standing. i believe her purpose in posting was that even people who maintain normalcy for long periods can go off the rails and hurt you in the process. Bear in mind, the person who betrayed Riot Girl tried to have her child removed by the state. There just is no threat more chilling to a woman than one directed at her child.

My comment about "the net version happened to me" meant i had also experienced a betrayal and a couple of weeks of dealing with someone who apparently wigged out. i never said -- or meant -- that my suffering was comparable to Riot Girl's. i was trying to empathise; to let Riot Girl know that betrayal is not unique to her.

So now that i have explained myself in excruiating detail, i will await the responses. If P/pl post further on this thread, it should be to help Riot Girl; it should not be about me.

pinkpleasures