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LadyPact -> RE: I finally figured it out (1/1/2008 12:51:05 PM)
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Here was the inspiration for the OP.......
Getting ready to go out New Year's Eve for a small get together. I do the normal shower routine, undergarments, thigh highs, long skirt with slit up the side. My husband gets the job of lacing up the corset. Once I'm dressed, I go about the business of putting on My face, etc.
Me, "Honey, I have an issue with My hair spray."
Him, "What is it Dear?"
Me, "I think I need My spare hair spray out of the travel bag."
Him, "Ok."
Me, "But I can't bend over."
Him, "Where is it?"
Me, "It's in one of the side pockets."
(Searches the front pockets.)
Me, "It's not in the front pockets."
Him, "I'm checking everywhere."
Me, "Ok."
(Doesn't find it in front, pockets and searches the side pockets with the same result.)
Him, "It's not in here."
Me, "Try the shower bag." (More demanding.)
Him, "Where is it?"
Me, "Isn't it out there?"
Him, "I don't know."
Me, "Isn't that your job"
Him, "No, you have a boy for that."
Me, "But you're the one here."
Him, "I understand that, Dear."
(Both look for shower bag, and realize it's two feet away from the first bag.)
Me, "You didn't see that earlier?"
Him, "No, I wasn't looking for it then."
(Opens shower bag. Still no hairspray.)
Me, "Try the make-up case."
Him, "It's not the one you want."
Me, "My hair is dry. I'll take what I can get. That sprits will work."
(I spray My hair. The delay is making Us late to leave.)
Me, "Honey, find My boots."
Him, "I already know where they are. They are in the closet."
Me, "Ok. Well, you could be doing something. Put the toy bag in the car."
Him, "I can do that on Our way out."
Me, "I'll get the boots. You get the cats out of the room."
(The boots are tall, so I'm able to get them without bending over.)
Him, "Dear, the cat's under the other side of the bed."
Me, "Yes, I see her."
Him, "Well, if I come around to get her, she'll just go back under the bed."
Me, "But I've got one boot half on."
(I hop over, and with great difficulty, capture the cat.)
Me, "Sure. Tell the person in the expensive leather to catch the cat with claws."
Him, "She can't stay in here while We got out. You said so."
(I actually manage to put the boots on and zipper them up. I look down at the high boots mixed with the long skirt.)
Me, "Hon. These boots really don't go. I think I'd rather have My shoes."
Him, "Ok."
Me, "You have to take them off of Me."
Him, "You got them on."
Me, "That's different."
(He comes over, unzippers one boot, then unzippers the other.)
Me, "No Dear. I don't just need them unzippered. I need them taken off."
Him, "I'm doing that. I'm just unzippering them both first."
Me, "Who does it like that?"
Him, "Obviously, I do."
Me, "Ok, but I'll need My black shoes after this."
Him, "Where are they?"
Me, "In the travel bag. The one with the pockets."
Him, "There were no shoes in the pockets."
Me, "Not in the pockets, Dear. In the main part."
(He goes back to the bag, and pulls out one black strapped sandal.)
Him, "There's only one in the bag."
Me, "No, they're both in there."
Him, "Dear, here's your hair spray."
Me, "I already used hair spray."
Him, "Well, I found the one you were looking for when this started."
Me, "I don't want hairspray now. I want shoes so We can go."
Him, "So let's get them on."
Me, "You didn't say you had both of them yet."
Him, "I've got them. You have to sit down for me to put them on."
Me, "Ok, I'm ready otherwise. What are you doing?"
Him, "Getting my glasses. These little straps are small."
Me (laughs) "You're getting old, Hon, if you can't even get on My shoes without putting on glasses to see the buckles."
Him, "Oh, I'm old because I can't see these?"
Me, "Yes....... Not that I've been able to accomplish anything for Myself this past half hour."
Him, "When's clip coming home?"
Me, "I think he's back tonight."
Him, "What are you doing now?"
Me, "I'm posting this crap on CM. It's funny."
Now you see where the post came from. And why I have a tendency to be late.
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