Loosing the Collar

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FangsNfeet -> Loosing the Collar (8/22/2005 3:20:59 PM)
Out of all our BDSM experiences, I was wondering what has happen between couples when the collar had been lossed or misplaced. What happen when the sub was told to find it but it ended up being the dom who found it? I would like to hear about these experiences or what you would do in this hypothetical situation.

pinkpleasures -> RE: Loosing the Collar (8/22/2005 3:34:39 PM)
Snorts soda on the PC laughing. i thought You were posting about being released; but it's about losing the jewelry? Thank the lucky stars she loves You, is what. Would You rather lose the submissive woman and be left with an empty collar? <This is an example of a "high class problem"> pinkpleasures

ragdoll -> RE: Loosing the Collar (8/22/2005 3:39:30 PM)
i'm not in a "bdsm" relationship... but....... i think maybe it's alright for me to respond anyways. i'm thinking (if you are "considering" punishing your submissive) that the situation really ought to be evaluated. i mean... you didn't give all the information here, so it's hard to give advice. How was the collar lost? Where was it found? Was it thrown in a closet or under the sofa in the living room? Is it possible that your submissive's "vanilla" friends came over and your submissive saw the collar still out and quickly stuffed it someplace...? And then maybe your submissive forgot where it'd been stuffed..? ~ Was the collar found down behind a bookcase (where you usually keep the collar on top of while your submisive's not wearing it)? Do you have cats or dogs or a train nearby that might have "knocked" the collar behind the bookcase (or cabinet or wherever)? Is it possible it's "no ones" fault that it got lost? Is it possible you misplaced it? Did you perhaps hide it because you were adding something to it, or... i dunno, something like that... and so it was only natural that you'd be the one to end up finding it first... rather than your submissive? Did you go on vacation...? Was the collar lost in a luggage bag it wasn't suppose to be in? Were you two in a rush to check-out of the hotel and didn't really pack you things neatly... so it sorta got misplaced in the shuffle? ... and... even most importantly i wonder if it's your "submissive's responsibility to know where the collar is at all times"? .. Is that the rule you and your submissive have? That it's your submissive's job to be aware of where the collar is stored... and it's your submissive's job to put it away... and make sure it's quickly accessible? i suppose if it's your submissive's responsibility than i guess it doesn't matter how it got lost... the circumstances, i suppose.. might not matter........... Then again, maybe you and your submissive like to find little things to punish your submissive for. i've heard of couples like that before... and there's nothin' wrong with that. ^_^ anyway... my response and thoughts don't mean to much since i'm not really bdsm-experienced at all. ~ but.. your question sparked some thoughts inside of me.. so i decided to respond.

sub4hire -> RE: Loosing the Collar (8/22/2005 3:40:38 PM)
It never happened to us. How can one lose a collar in the first place? The idea is that it never comes off. So, did it break and it is so light it was not detected? Just curious is all. The only time my collar has ever come off was one the play collar went on.

Focus50 -> RE: Loosing the Collar (8/22/2005 3:50:14 PM)
The collar(s) generally has two places; either she's wearing it or they have their own specific place in the wardrobe.... Removing and placing the collar is an informal ritual usually only done by me but she can in emergencies such as an unexpected knock on the door etc. Yeah, it can still get misplaced if there's a series of unforseen circumstances but I can't say as I've ever had one lost altogether. Main thing is to find it and it's irrelevant how it got misplaced.... As I'm mostly responsible for removing it, it's not really a punishment scenario for it getting lost. Besides, even if she did lose it, that'd be the worst punishment of all for her. Focus50.

Mercnbeth -> RE: Loosing the Collar (8/22/2005 4:00:17 PM)
quote: What happen when the sub was told to find it but it ended up being the dom who found it? I would like to hear about these experiences or what you would do in this hypothetical situation. I'd be preparing to attend beth's funeral. Because the only way it would be lost, would be that she was out without me, was robbed at gunpoint, and told to take it off. Would I want beth to "fight to the death" for that symbol of our relationship - NO, but the result would be that anyway. beth's neck has never been sans collar since she and I became us. she has a variety of "collars" from formal necklaces, to leather with a variety of rings. When one is removed to be replaced by another, appropriate for our activity, there is a ritual. (YEAH I Know, I know, - We have a "ritual" for everything - SO SHOOT US!) Only I have removed her collar since the first day I put it on. So baring that event described it just couldn't happen.

OsideGirl -> RE: Loosing the Collar (8/22/2005 4:36:54 PM)
I do not wear my collar 24/7 and because master leaves for work before I get up, I'm frequently the one that takes it off. It is my responsibility to know where my collar is and to be able to locate it quickly. For this reason, my collars (I have 2) go in my nightstand drawer. Me losing my collar would be akin to me losing my wedding ring. If it was done out of a lack of me paying attention, he'd be quite disappointed in me. He would view it as a lack of respect for his property.

RiotGirl -> RE: Loosing the Collar (8/22/2005 5:07:31 PM)
Never lost it, always been on my neck. Curious to as the circumstances Fangs

Leonidas -> RE: Loosing the Collar (8/22/2005 5:11:23 PM)
Oh, you fell for that one? Well, "finders keepers" is one of the essential tenants of BDSM, you know. So, guess what? You're the slave now, until you can trick her into taking the collar back. Oh well, you'll know not to fall for it next time.

warlok762 -> RE: Loosing the Collar (8/22/2005 5:16:21 PM)
quote: So, guess what? You're the slave now Hmmm I don't get that how can one be a Master one day and the slave the next?

ragdoll -> RE: Loosing the Collar (8/22/2005 5:24:54 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: warlok762 quote: So, guess what? You're the slave now Hmmm I don't get that how can one be a Master one day and the slave the next? smiles warmly i think Leonidas was just being silly/funny ^_^ i'm sure there's nothing to "get" except a little humour.......... :) Or at least that's how i took the comment that Leonidas made.

Mercnbeth -> RE: Loosing the Collar (8/22/2005 5:25:52 PM)
quote: Hmmm I don't get that how can one be a Master one day and the slave the next? You need to read the "Ask a Switch" section. Actually, if I were a switch, it sounds like a great, fun way to put an element of chance into deciding who's who. Ideally you could train the dog or cat to hide it to keep it fair. [;)]

RiotGirl -> RE: Loosing the Collar (8/22/2005 5:42:33 PM)
lmao i LOVE IT, you've answered a question i've heard a few times. "how do they decide whose top and bottom" Oi VEY, so if i hid my collar on Master and have him find, i unexpectedly OWN him?? That would be soooooooooooo cool. LOL Good golly what kind of evil, little rebellious thing i could think up. Have ya tried it lately Merc n beth? How'd it turn out?

MsPurrmeow -> RE: Loosing the Collar (8/22/2005 6:08:35 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: FangsNfeet Out of all our BDSM experiences, I was wondering what has happen between couples when the collar had been lossed or misplaced. What happen when the sub was told to find it but it ended up being the dom who found it? I would like to hear about these experiences or what you would do in this hypothetical situation. From the real world... things get lost, things get found. Pick it up, pat off the dust, and put it back on when the time is right. Am I missing something here, or do you think there NEEDS to be a major protocol for something so simple. It's not a holy relic fer cripes sake. If it comes off the neck, it's an object just like any other. What it MEANS between two people varies, but all-in-all, the piece of leather/metal/ropes or whatever is just an object. If you have a ritual for putting it on, then do it, if you don't, then don't. Why make a big whoopteedo out of simply picking something up and putting it where it belongs? Is there more to this question? Purr

JohnWarren -> RE: Loosing the Collar (8/22/2005 6:43:31 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RiotGirl lmao i LOVE IT, you've answered a question i've heard a few times. "how do they decide whose top and bottom" Oi VEY, so if i hid my collar on Master and have him find, i unexpectedly OWN him?? That would be soooooooooooo cool. LOL Good golly what kind of evil, little rebellious thing i could think up. Have ya tried it lately Merc n beth? How'd it turn out? We have some friends who are traditionalists. They switch and indicate it by who is wearing the biker cap so people who meet them know what orientation they are in.

EmeraldSlave2 -> RE: Loosing the Collar (8/22/2005 7:02:46 PM)
Uhh mark a specific place to keep it so you don't lose it again? I think making it a big deal shows that you care more about the physical collar than you do the relationship.

EmeraldSlave2 -> RE: Loosing the Collar (8/22/2005 7:03:41 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sub4hire It never happened to us. How can one lose a collar in the first place? The idea is that it never comes off. So, did it break and it is so light it was not detected? Just curious is all. The only time my collar has ever come off was one the play collar went on. Not everyone uses a collar like that, or even has just one collar.

mnottertail -> RE: Loosing the Collar (8/22/2005 7:09:51 PM)
I kinda like that idea, throw the collar in the ring and may the best switch win. Ron

o0kitten0o -> RE: Loosing the Collar (8/22/2005 7:35:03 PM)
This happened to me once. I went to go put on my collar one afternoon and couldn't find it anywhere. I don't remember exactly why it was off in the first place but my master was upset I couldn't find it. He kept telling me to look for it and I looked and looked but couldn't find it. After some time I started getting really upset and crying because I couldn't. It meant so much to me and I felt so stupid for losing it. I remember he took me aside, told me we'd probably find it later, gave me a big hug and asked me what the worst thing was that could have happened to my collar. I told him "we might never find it." He told me it was okay and we could always get a new one. At first I was mad because I thought he didn't care but what he made me realize is that really it's just a symbol. It's not as if our love or my submission exists solely in my collar. Lesson learned. The next day, he found it hiding in the laundry. And, we all lived happily ever after.

IronBear -> RE: Loosing the Collar (8/22/2005 9:06:31 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: FangsNfeet Out of all our BDSM experiences, I was wondering what has happen between couples when the collar had been lossed or misplaced. What happen when the sub was told to find it but it ended up being the dom who found it? I would like to hear about these experiences or what you would do in this hypothetical situation. G'day Fangs, Ok lets immagine I have my kajira 24/7. She will wear a collar 24/7 except for showering. However she would have a "Night Collar" for safety. There will only be two keys to her collar, I have one and my Wife/Free Companion (Mistress of slave pens) has the other. Only we can remove the collar so if it is lost then it will be one of us who lose it and it is up to us to find it. The collar not being worn will be in my safe and locked. When it is remived for showering and unless I am showering with her (like she is in the shower or bath and bathing me) it will be on my belt.

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