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Am I A Lesbian? - 1/1/2008 3:05:55 PM   
summerblossom


Posts: 145
Joined: 11/17/2007
Status: offline 		I will tell you my thoughts and feelings and hopefully someone will be able to give their opinions.

I have gone by the 'bisexual' label for many years now. I have much more experience with men than with women. In fact, I have very very little experience with women. The other day in my group I go to, my female friend who identifies as a Lesbian told me that I'm gay because when I was talking about relationships I told everyone I am never feeling emotionally and physically fufilled by a man. There are other things too. For a very long time now I do not enjoy male/female sex and have really never felt emotionally or sexually fufilled by a man. 99 percent of my sexual fantasies are about women, I save many photos of women on my computer, and when looking at tv, magazine, or other things I will always admire the women before the men. Emotionally I also prefer being around women and find them to fufill my needs better.

The thought of pleasing a man sexually usually makes me want to throw up, while the thought of pleasing a woman is very arousing and a turn on. I think in my folder where I keep and collect photos, I have thousands of pictures of ladies and I think one stuck in there of a nude male. It is only on very rare occasions that I find some male tv star sexually attractive and can imagine doing things with him but the fantasy stops there because if it came right down to it I know I would not enjoy actually having sexy with him.

So...does this make me a lesbian? Should I be identifying with that title from now on? And if you are a lesbian can you still have an ocasional attraction to the opposite sex?
There are times I would think about this on a more serious level, like how could I see myself getting married? I do want kids in the future but I don't know if I could ever really be happy with a man unless he was really something special, more on the feminine side, more sensitive etc...

All my life unlike many other women, romance novels and romantic movies always made me sick and I thought it was just something I didin't like because they seemed so fake but recently I saw a couple of romantic lesbian movies and was very moved by those and really loved them. I would appreciate anyones info alot male/female whatever. Ty for your time.
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RE: Am I A Lesbian? - 1/1/2008 3:09:27 PM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline 		I, too, am a lesbian.

Oh, from what you say, you sound like you're bi..... even if the man-love feelings are rare, they happen, so....

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to summerblossom)
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RE: Am I A Lesbian? - 1/1/2008 3:10:51 PM   
seeksfemslave


Posts: 4011
Joined: 6/16/2006
Status: offline 		yes lol

(in reply to summerblossom)
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RE: Am I A Lesbian? - 1/1/2008 3:16:22 PM   
abytchgoddess4u


Posts: 268
Joined: 10/17/2004
Status: offline 		My only advice would be to release society's judgment and live your own life...however that may occur. Don't allow others to label you...even if it seems to be in a helpful way, like your friend.

I just...literally just; like 5mins ago, had someone who I originally considered as a sub reveal to me that he is gay. I knew when we first started communicating and knew he wasn't appropriate for me, but I didn't say anything to him about it. Just now, he asked me why I didn't tell him what I thought...I said it wasn't my place, he had to own his own life. He's still got a lot of adjusting to do, but he's on his way to feeling happy and fulfilled.

Best of luck to you on your path of growth...:)


_____________________________

"Everything in the Universe Is within you.
Ask all from yourself." Rumi

"The world will know and understand me someday. But if that day does not arrive, it does not greatly matter. I shall have opened the way for other women."
George Sand

(in reply to summerblossom)
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RE: Am I A Lesbian? - 1/1/2008 3:19:08 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline 		FR~~~

My sister, who identifies as lesbian, says that every lesbian lusts after Brad Pitt.  So I wouldn't let an occasional attraction to a man change you.

Cali


_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to abytchgoddess4u)
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RE: Am I A Lesbian? - 1/1/2008 3:19:23 PM   
faerytattoodgirl


Posts: 5824
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: summerblossom

99 percent of my sexual fantasies are about women,


UM...this is not a bad thing you know :)

(in reply to summerblossom)
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RE: Am I A Lesbian? - 1/1/2008 3:21:36 PM   
faerytattoodgirl


Posts: 5824
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

FR~~~

My sister, who identifies as lesbian, says that every lesbian lusts after Brad Pitt.  So I wouldn't let an occasional attraction to a man change you.

Cali



Judging from where your located that isnt surprising...but i lust for Angelina Jolie!! especially when she was in hackers.

(in reply to CalifChick)
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RE: Am I A Lesbian? - 1/1/2008 3:21:58 PM   
popeye1250


Posts: 18104
Joined: 1/27/2006
From: New Hampshire
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

I, too, am a lesbian.

Oh, from what you say, you sound like you're bi..... even if the man-love feelings are rare, they happen, so....


Yup, me too!
A lesbian trapped in a man's body!
(Ouch, these nuts are killing me!)

Liz Hurley in that school girl outfit in a movie I can't remember the name of *really* brought up the Lesbian feelings for me!
One lady I know spells it, "Lesibian." lol

< Message edited by popeye1250 -- 1/1/2008 3:28:22 PM >

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"But Your Honor, this is not a Jury of my Peers, these people are all decent, honest, law-abiding citizens!"

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RE: Am I A Lesbian? - 1/1/2008 3:22:36 PM   
bipolarber


Posts: 2792
Joined: 9/25/2004
Status: offline 		How you define yourself is ultimately your decision. From what you've written, I's say that you lean pretty heavily toward gay. But, you also say guys are not entirely out of the picture. So, I'd say you have a pretty good bead on who you are, and what you like.

I think you'd still be bisexual, with a preference for women.

And that's okay. :)

(in reply to abytchgoddess4u)
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RE: Am I A Lesbian? - 1/1/2008 3:27:18 PM   
dcnovice


Posts: 37282
Joined: 8/2/2006
Status: offline 		How do you feel about potlucks?

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No matter how cynical you become,
it's never enough to keep up.

JANE WAGNER, THE SEARCH FOR SIGNS OF
INTELLIGENT LIFE IN THE UNIVERSE

(in reply to bipolarber)
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RE: Am I A Lesbian? - 1/1/2008 3:33:21 PM   
Raechard


Posts: 3513
Joined: 3/10/2007
From: S.E. London U.K.
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: summerblossom
So...does this make me a lesbian? Should I be identifying with that title from now on? And if you are a lesbian can you still have an ocasional attraction to the opposite sex?
There are times I would think about this on a more serious level, like how could I see myself getting married? I do want kids in the future but I don't know if I could ever really be happy with a man unless he was really something special, more on the feminine side, more sensitive etc...


Sounds like you already know you are but are worried about the social implications for yourself.

You don't have to be married to a man to have kids, you can do all these things you speak of and at the same time be happy in a relationship with a woman.

I could be wrong it wouldn't be the first time.

_____________________________

えへまにんへえや
Nobody wants to listen to the same song over and over again!

(in reply to summerblossom)
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RE: Am I A Lesbian? - 1/1/2008 3:34:15 PM   
Daddysredhead


Posts: 23574
Joined: 11/6/2005
From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

I, too, am a lesbian.



Wow, Level.  I didn't know you were into labels for yourself.     I think you're wonderful no matter if you are a lesbian or straight. 

quote:



My sister, who identifies as lesbian, says that every lesbian lusts after Brad Pitt.



Well, I have no attraction towards Brad Pitt, so I guess I'm not a lesbian.     Damn, I can't find a label for myself anywhere! 

~ DRH, generic unlabeled switch


_____________________________

Founding Member, Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's

Do not challenge me to a battle of wits & come to fight unarmed.

Are you really that stupid? ~ Bless your heart

13th doughnut


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RE: Am I A Lesbian? - 1/1/2008 4:12:01 PM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Daddysredhead

quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

I, too, am a lesbian.



Wow, Level.  I didn't know you were into labels for yourself.     I think you're wonderful no matter if you are a lesbian or straight. 

quote:



My sister, who identifies as lesbian, says that every lesbian lusts after Brad Pitt.



Well, I have no attraction towards Brad Pitt, so I guess I'm not a lesbian.     Damn, I can't find a label for myself anywhere! 

~ DRH, generic unlabeled switch





Have a good New Year's day, red?

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to Daddysredhead)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Am I A Lesbian? - 1/1/2008 4:15:49 PM   
Estring


Posts: 3314
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Take Dramamine before sex with a man. If you still throw up, you are a lesbian.

_____________________________

Boycott Whales!

(in reply to summerblossom)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Am I A Lesbian? - 1/1/2008 4:22:56 PM   
Daddysredhead


Posts: 23574
Joined: 11/6/2005
From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Level




Have a good New Year's day, red?



Yes, I did.  Thank you.  And yourself?  I hope all is well...

_____________________________

Founding Member, Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's

Do not challenge me to a battle of wits & come to fight unarmed.

Are you really that stupid? ~ Bless your heart

13th doughnut


(in reply to Level)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Am I A Lesbian? - 1/1/2008 4:31:36 PM   
Gwynvyd


Posts: 4949
Status: offline 		Speaking as someone who identifys as a lesbian who falls off the wagon now and then...

Only you can determine who you are. Many in the gay community feel the need to slap labels on each other so we all fit in tidy lil boxes. Esp. lesbians for some odd reason. When I lost my mind and fell in love with a man for a short bit there, they just about rioted, and wanted me to turn in my lesbian card.. LOL I refused.. glad I did.. because that romance is over.

Sexual Identity can be a very fluid thing.. and only you can determine what yours is.. if you really feel the need to have a professed one.

Most men with the thought of coupling with them turns my stomach too.. but there are a couple I actualy dont mind.. and enjoy. Does that make me Bi... yeah maybe.. less of a Les? not in my book. *shrugs* but then I dont care what folks think about who I love, and how I chose to love.

As for Marriage and kids... I have my girlfriend of 6 years, and our son... We could go through the commitment ceromonies.. but even if we were to tie the knot some place else our state ( Florida ) is one of the most restrictive states against all things gay. It wouldnt count legaly.. or in benifits.

I think maybe looking less at society, and more at your feelings will clear things up. Also get some F2F experiance under your belt in realtionships and see how you feel then.

Look at this and use it as refferance.. I am about a 4.9 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kinsey_scale 

this may also help: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Klein_Sexual_Orientation_Grid 

Good luck!

Be attracted who you are attracted to, and love who you love.

Gwyn

_____________________________

Self avowed Geek-Girl~
Come for the boobs, stay for the brains.

Be the kinda woman that when your feet hit the floor in the morning the Devil says "Oh shit, shes awake..."
~ Softandshy's "Shiney"

(in reply to Estring)
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RE: Am I A Lesbian? - 1/1/2008 4:46:51 PM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Daddysredhead

quote:

ORIGINAL: Level




Have a good New Year's day, red?



Yes, I did.  Thank you.  And yourself?  I hope all is well...


Yes, the day went well ; it's back to work and Gumpland tomorrow, though!

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to Daddysredhead)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Am I A Lesbian? - 1/1/2008 4:49:38 PM   
Daddysredhead


Posts: 23574
Joined: 11/6/2005
From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
Status: offline 		Me, too...

All hail the Gump!  ~ snickers and rolls around like a dervish ~

_____________________________

Founding Member, Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's

Do not challenge me to a battle of wits & come to fight unarmed.

Are you really that stupid? ~ Bless your heart

13th doughnut


(in reply to Level)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Am I A Lesbian? - 1/1/2008 4:53:32 PM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Gwynvyd

Be attracted who you are attracted to, and love who you love.

Gwyn


Nicely said, Gwyn.

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to Gwynvyd)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Am I A Lesbian? - 1/1/2008 5:03:02 PM   
MisterNstockings


Posts: 3
Joined: 12/27/2007
Status: offline 		Just be who you are.  I am attracted to both, sometimes more one than the other.  I don't really think it is so much about who I want to have sex with, as much as who I want to share my life or time with.  I sort of just let myself fall in love or lust, then worry about the detail of their gender after all of that is out of the way.

You don't have to define yourself under anyone's terms but your own. 




_____________________________

"I realized love won't obey our expectations, it's mystery is pure and absolute."

(in reply to Level)
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