Psychology of Male submission...

Psychology of Male submission... (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress

Message

AllforFun -> Psychology of Male submission... (1/1/2008 8:41:02 PM)
Being the great ponderer I am, I often think about this and wanted to get your guy's(and Mistresses) opinion on this. The question is really simple, Why do we do this? ( I know this has to have been asked a million times before.) I know there is the obvious reason that pleasure is derived by submiting and/or expierencing some level of pain with this, but why? Why have our brains been wired to perceive this erotically/pleasureably? Is it because we have commited a cardinal sin in revealing a softer side to women, so in the back of our heads we think we should be punished for this? Is it simply a biological urge to mate at all costs even if it means surrendering? (I doubt this one, but could be plausible) Is it simply taking the load off from our "normal" roles in society? (I think it is deeperr than this.) I guess I am wondering if the whole act is instinctual,or psychological, r perhaps both. Freud hypohesizes that there are stages of sexual development, Is it possible that at a critical moment in our sexual development there was an event that is commonly shared among other submissives that determines a desire for BDSM? ( think this is likely) IF so, what could it be?

darchChylde -> RE: Psychology of Male submission... (1/1/2008 9:18:44 PM)
i submit; because, in my life, there have been women that i have met where i simply didn't consider there to be an alternative

Aimtoplease101 -> RE: Psychology of Male submission... (1/1/2008 10:07:04 PM)
I'm sure there's a good deal of real academic literature on this topic, so I wade in with some trepidation. I know for me that part of what drives my submissive side is the fact that I personally derive a great deal of satisfaction from seeing a Domme pleased, enjoying herself, because of something I'm doing or giving. I don't think this is a terribly unique characteristic. I know, for instance, that a lot of positive enforcement-- sometimes consisting of little more that praise-- is used in educational theory and animal training, among other areas. Some beings really want to please, and if submitting to another's will creates that pleasure, then that is the course that will be pursued. There's also a linkage here to masochism, although I acknowledge that not every submissive is a masochist. If, however, you are, one path to getting your beating, so to speak, is to submit to someone who has a compatible sadistic streak in her. Finally, I think that for many of us who are burdened by responsibility and authority in our professional lives, or other endeavors, submitting in our interpersonal or sexual relationships is a form of balance for our pysches, a release and compensation in some manner. Regards, ATP

AllietheKitten -> RE: Psychology of Male submission... (1/1/2008 10:13:47 PM)
I guess I am wondering if the whole act is instinctual,or psychological, r perhaps both. Freud hypothesized that there are stages of sexual development, Is it possible that at a critical moment in our sexual development there was an event that is commonly shared among other submissive that determines a desire for BDSM? I agree with this to a point. I am by no means a Freudian (most of his theories on development have been pretty well discounted) by I do believe that it is a difference is sexualization, perhaps caused by an experience in childhood (I hesitate to say "trauma" because I don't consider submissives to be damaged). My sub had a pretty normal childhood-parents that are still married, regular friends..he just fantasized about being controlled from a young age and doesn't really know why. My childhood was less "normal" and a lot more painful. I know for me, my need to be a Domme is a natural offshoot of my need to control a the things in my environment and to be self-determining. But I don't see my sexuality as a trauma I'm working through either (though that is sometimes the case as well) because I believe it goes deeper than that. This is an interesting question.

slavekal -> RE: Psychology of Male submission... (1/1/2008 10:15:26 PM)
It is my opinion that almost every hetero male has submissive feelings toward women. It's just that some of us feel them more often and more deeply than others. What is a strip club but a place where men can go worship women, be teased and denied, and give women our money as tribute? How many songs are out there about "I'd crawl on my knees, drink your bathwater, do anything for you......"? Male submissiveness is just an extreme form of chivalry. http://slave2catwoman.blogspot.com/

AAkasha -> RE: Psychology of Male submission... (1/1/2008 10:22:19 PM)
Deep down, I think all mean have a secret desire to be fucked in the ass and forced to wear panties. It just takes some a little longer to come to terms with it. Akasha

slavekal -> RE: Psychology of Male submission... (1/1/2008 10:27:08 PM)
While I do have a strong need to submit, I actually do not want to be fucked in the ass or wear feminine clothing. (Too bad really, because milady loves the strap on). My submission is a masculine thing. I have no desire at all to be made into a sissy.

darchChylde -> RE: Psychology of Male submission... (1/1/2008 10:27:10 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AAkasha Deep down, I think all mean have a secret desire to be fucked in the ass and forced to wear panties. It just takes some a little longer to come to terms with it. Akasha Ma'am? Have you seen my Ma'am, i know She's around here. Ma'am!!! Please come help me, the mean woman's scaring me. -great response AAkasha, i don't know how much of it was serious and how much not; but it seriously made my testicles do double duty as extra adam's apples

dcnovice -> RE: Psychology of Male submission... (1/1/2008 10:28:19 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AAkasha Deep down, I think all mean have a secret desire to be fucked in the ass and forced to wear panties. It just takes some a little longer to come to terms with it. Akasha That might help explain the ferocity of homophobia.

pixelslave -> RE: Psychology of Male submission... (1/1/2008 10:43:54 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AllforFun Being the great ponderer I am, I often think about this and wanted to get your guy's(and Mistresses) opinion on this. The question is really simple, Why do we do this? ( I know this has to have been asked a million times before.) I know there is the obvious reason that pleasure is derived by submiting and/or expierencing some level of pain with this, but why? Why have our brains been wired to perceive this erotically/pleasureably? Is it because we have commited a cardinal sin in revealing a softer side to women, so in the back of our heads we think we should be punished for this? Is it simply a biological urge to mate at all costs even if it means surrendering? (I doubt this one, but could be plausible) Is it simply taking the load off from our "normal" roles in society? (I think it is deeperr than this.) I guess I am wondering if the whole act is instinctual,or psychological, r perhaps both. Freud hypohesizes that there are stages of sexual development, Is it possible that at a critical moment in our sexual development there was an event that is commonly shared among other submissives that determines a desire for BDSM? ( think this is likely) IF so, what could it be? First, all kinds of pleasure from giving to others can be eroticised. Cardinal sins and punishment? I think not. This implies a great deal of guilt which one hasn't dealt with and religious overtones that likely don't apply to many of us. I'll add though that certain kinds of scenes and impact play in particular *can* be very cathartic at times. I doubt it's related to biological urges, unless psychological in nature, which IMO, would make them deeply convoluted. I have little faith in Freud and won't go further into the additional pain he's caused many who were already in emotional pain and trying to sort their problems out. I'm of the opinion that it's the culmination of various things largely related to one's environment and perhaps some genetic disposition as well. More than anything, it goes against the grain of society, making it difficult for many to accept about themselves; releasing themselves into it for their enjoyment and the enjoyment of their partner. It's found in other cultures, not just our own. Even native american indian tribes had the equivalent of submissive males as well as transvestites in various forms. From my point of view, we're all spiritual beings having a human experience. So what is the nature of that spiritual being within us? For me, it's realized as a submissive male. Some people have the need to be in control of everything around them, others don't. Some can surrender that control to another and release something deep within themselves in doing so. The latter would be a description of me. There's something deep within me at the core of my being that desires to submit to the will of another. Part of that is "the submissive slut" as I refer to it, that seeks a woman who knows how to push the right buttons to release it and bring it out, then wants to play with it for both our enjoyment. Not every woman can do that. It's takes a special woman who identifies as a Domme to appreciate and accept that part of me. In time, I hope to find that woman and show her how special that part of me is along with all the fun we can have with it together; as we enrich each other's lives. - pixel

AllietheKitten -> RE: Psychology of Male submission... (1/1/2008 10:52:28 PM)
ROFL! Thank Heaven I found a sub who was as into sissification as I am!! If I didn't get to sneak in and "rape" him occasionally... shivers at the thought! quote: ORIGINAL: dcnovice quote: ORIGINAL: AAkasha Deep down, I think all mean have a secret desire to be fucked in the ass and forced to wear panties. It just takes some a little longer to come to terms with it. Akasha That might help explain the ferocity of homophobia.

TNstepsout -> RE: Psychology of Male submission... (1/2/2008 5:45:50 AM)
I do not believe that it is some kind of deep seated psychological or genetic flaw. I believe that it's natural for humans (as with all other animals) to arrange ourselves into a heirarchy and to feel more comfortable when one has found his/her place. The difference with people is that we have to do this many different times in all of the various groups we are a part of. A relationship is one area, and some people prefer to be in the dominant spot and others the submissive. I think it's true that feminine sensuality and sexuality has long (always) had a power over men. Some seek to control (dominate) that which makes them weak and others seek to surrender to it.

AFlyInYourWeb -> RE: Psychology of Male submission... (1/2/2008 6:12:08 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AAkasha Deep down, I think all mean have a secret desire to be fucked in the ass and forced to wear panties. It just takes some a little longer to come to terms with it. Akasha You are most likely right about that. :) To the OP: I spent two years in therapy twenty years ago trying to find for myself the answer that you seek. What I discovered was that the "why" didn't matter; what mattered was appreciating how it added to my life.

rubberpet -> RE: Psychology of Male submission... (1/2/2008 6:46:50 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: slavekal While I do have a strong need to submit, I actually do not want to be fucked in the ass or wear feminine clothing. (Too bad really, because milady loves the strap on). My submission is a masculine thing. I have no desire at all to be made into a sissy. I'm with you on that one. My submission is a masculine thing, but I do hunger to be ass fucked by Mistress and Her strap-on. I don't look at it as a sissy thing, though, like wearing panties or feminine clothing. That's just something I'm not and thankfully Mistress isn't into it, either. She wants a man to be Her slave, not a sissy. As far as Her strap-on goes, I enjoy it because it feels really good. Plus, it has a little humiliation behind it. It is so fun to bend over and offer myself to Her like that. It is a great feeling to feel lubed fingers prepping me to be taken by Her. Feeling Her grip my hips as She slowly slides into me is enough to send me right into major subspace. Like I said, it feels really good, too! [:D] Why do I submit? It is just who I am. My total submission is a very precious gift that I choose to give to only one specific and very special person. She is the only one who has the strength to take it if She wishes, yet She is the only one I trust to never abuse it. I may be Her slave and property, but I am treated with infinite love and unlimited respect. I can be myself around Her at all times, whether it's playful, goofy, silly, serious, Her rubber-clad playtoy, or Her boot-lickin' slut who hungers to be below the very ground She walks on. I do my very best to cater to Her every wish and desire, and obey Her every command. It is like a knight serving his queen. She comes first in my life and I do everything I can to show Her that everyday and be the man She's never had in life. My submission makes me feel complete when bowing down to Her. I'm a very strong and focused person in my everyday life, but I hunger to relinquish control of things to Mistress. It's not because I'm not capable of taking care of things myself, but because I want and need to feel the freedom of slavery where all I have to worry about is pleasing Mistress. Through the scent of slavery, I taste true freedom. Plus, it is the ultimate display of trust. I open myself completely to Her and She has never done anything to betray that trust. She works just as hard to take care of me as I do to take care of Her. I never thought it would be possible, but with Her, I believe I've found my true happiness! [:)]

LadyEllen -> RE: Psychology of Male submission... (1/2/2008 8:09:03 AM)
The ritualisation of the sexual psychodrama associated with devoting one's self wholeheartedly and completely - all that one is and will be, all that one has and will acquire, all that one can do and will do, to her disposal and purposes in the seeking of a pair bonding for mating, whether or not mating is on the agenda. The rest is just a matter of degrees and personal accents. E

Badboy2006 -> RE: Psychology of Male submission... (1/2/2008 8:23:59 AM)
I believe that all men are submissive weather they admit it or not. The guilty pleasure of S/M is that the sub male has the beauty of admitting it and does not mind that eveyone else knows. See I believe that our mothers instilled this in us from a young age, weather we see it or not. and to feel wanted or loved the submissive side of us males welcomes truth (weather it comes from pleasure or pain) with humiliy. thats why a good mistress will not beat the daylights out of you for being bad because she feels we need to learn psycologically from our mis doings and the pleasure of pain is a reward for wanting to feel that way with no psycological hang ups. Pretty deep this subject goes with great conversation. So keep that in mind next time you have nothing to say to your Superior one! peace happy new year! badboy2006

idroolchicksrule -> RE: Psychology of Male submission... (1/2/2008 11:57:48 AM)
In my opinion submission is not a gender issue, its a human one. It would be interesting if this question were asked on the Master form. I'm sure there would be just as many "I think all women are submissive deep down" as there are "...all men are" on this board. If all women (according to Masters) and all men (according to this board) are submissive deep down then all humans are submissive deep down. Well that's not true. I think its just a matter of perspective. You can't know the true sexual nature of everyone you see, just the ones that happen to enter that aspect of you life or offer that information. After a while you start to look for it in others and perhaps, jump to conclusions or see what you wish was there instead of what is. To be honest I don't know what its like to be anyone else but me. I can guess and sometimes think I'm right, but really never know. As far as my own inexperienced and warped perspective submission provides an answer. Which is comforting. An authority, in every sense of the word. It also allows vulnerability, something squashed in everyday life. Thanks for reading.

chiaThePet -> RE: Psychology of Male submission... (1/2/2008 12:19:41 PM)
Well, I'm just sitting here in my panties waiting for a Domme to come and fuck me good with a big ol' strapon since it's my anointed destiny. Well? tap tap tap chia* (the pet)

ShaktiSama -> RE: Psychology of Male submission... (1/2/2008 12:30:59 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: chiaThePet Well, I'm just sitting here in my panties waiting for a Domme to come and fuck me good with a big ol' strapon since it's my anointed destiny. Thanks SO much. I guarantee you have just supplied the four next newbie subs who send messages to me with their ingenious profile names. I can't wait to hear what sittingherenpanties, waiting4straponDomme, fuckmegood and anointeddestiny have to say... [8\|]

Shawn1066 -> RE: Psychology of Male submission... (1/2/2008 12:31:17 PM)
I'm of the belief that the "why" isn't any more important for us than for anybody else who looks for a relationship for somebody in this world of ours. If I found out that it was the product of some chance happening in my childhood, it wouldn't mean anything less to me than if I found out it was something based entirely in genetics. I don't think it's a gender issue either. I don't believe in gender, persay. I personally believe gender is, for the most part, imaginary. Don't get me wrong, there is sex(male and female), but I don't think there's really gender(what a male -should- be and what a female -should be-).

Page: [1] 2 3 4 next > >>

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.03125