RE: Why Dommes judge people based on grammar? (Full Version)

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MissLily -> RE: Why Dommes judge people based on grammar? (1/26/2008 6:53:51 AM)

I always look at the grammar and the language in general, and I do juge based on this. I mean, a few mistakes is fine by Me when we chat, and not being English, I do make a few Myself, but one of the things I require from a sub is education and culture.
 
That's what I look for, because I love making conversation. So you'd have to have something interesting to say on something that interests Me. That's why culture is important to Me, more than grammar. But the language used have to be good. Not teenage level.
 
Then again, if you make more mistakes than I do, and I'm not English, I'll get annoyed and lose patience with you.
 
It's just something that annoyes Me personnaly. I don't think it should be taken as a reflection of what the other person is. It has maybe little to do with the other person's real intelligence. It's just a criteria used to make a choice.
 
Miss Lily



PairOfDimes -> RE: Why Dommes judge people based on grammar? (1/26/2008 2:52:58 PM)

Yes, for many people, it's difficult to write good letters. I sympathize especially with people for whom English is a second language.

Nevertheless, if I can't understand your proposal to me, or if I have to work very hard to understand your messages, I won't be inclined to find you attractive. If we met on a site like this, most of our early correspondence would happen via email, so if you couldn't adequately communicate your good qualities to me in writing, I would be hard-pressed to understand what I would gain from continuing to talk with you. Would it help to think of it like a bad cell phone connection? You might be explaining some really interesting ideas to me, or telling a very funny story, but if our cell phone connection was filled with static and I heard one word in ten, I wouldn't be able to enjoy our conversation, and I might not even be able to process the information imparted. The medium would obscure the content.

You don't need to be Faulkner to catch my attention--although elegant prose is always nice to read. You just need to be clear. I won't be bothered if you use or fail to use the Oxford comma, or mess up the use of the semicolon, and I won't disqualify you based on a small spelling error, like "recieve." But I'm going to have a tough time reading a message in which the thoughts are not well organized, and in which grammar and spelling are so bad that I can't ascertain the central ideas quickly. I'm also less likely to be persuaded that it's worth my time to respond. In many respects, I agree with KindLadyGrey's points here.

Additionally, I've noticed that I tend to get along best with people who are reasonably good at expressing thoughts in words. It's a correlation I've observed, probably because I do reasonably well with written communication, and all other things being equal, it's often easier to get along with people who share your communication style.

Finally, if you know you're not a very good writer, and you're not willing or able to get much better, yet you think you make a better impression in person, perhaps you should try to get more involved in your local BDSM groups. That way, you would be able to communicate a medium that is better suited to you.



MsSimone -> RE: Why Dommes judge people based on grammar? (1/27/2008 5:58:35 PM)

If you do not take the time to practice basic grammer in your posts and emails ,how can I expect you to serve me properly and with style and grace as well? Taking the time to use proper grammatical  structure shows an effort on the submissives aprt, plus it is basic courtesy.



fluffyswitch -> RE: Why Dommes judge people based on grammar? (1/27/2008 6:03:02 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: falccon

Grammar=Intelligence
 
I noticed alot of reponses from people who equate the two.If the grammar,punction and spelling are poor,the person is illiterate.Give me a break.True some responses are ill conceived and poorly structured,but a little leeway should be exercised.
 
Has it come some of the people's attention there are brilliant people,but are poor at English.Surprise,surprise. I'm famaliar with a university math professor who admits his weakness,grammar,but he is superb in math.I'm not the greatest in English either,I'm a math nerd,love calculus,but that doesn't make me any smarter or dumber than anyone else.
 
The condemnation I see is abhorant and all too famaliar.One of my favorite authors is William Faulkner, a great in the literature world.I haven't seen anyone on these posts come close to his mastery of writing, but these same people are the biggest critics of English structure.
 
I feel that some of the subs should be given a chance to impress and show some of their other fine qualities and strengths.


i may be in the minority, i haven't read the whole thread but i tend to cut people some slack if there seems to be at least a hint of deeper thought going on behind the scenes. both my partner and my father are dyslexic and can't write for crap. they can't spell and their grammer sucks to the point that spell check isn't going to do much for them. in fact my father had to have everything dictated out for him when he did his degree after getting out the navy. he graduated with a 4.0 and still has to have everything written for him and 'basic' words spelled for him when he does things like google searches. but your mileage will vary.



hands0n0knees -> RE: Why Dommes judge people based on grammar? (1/28/2008 11:57:08 AM)

Ok, that does it.

I've got to upload the picture of me with my Oxford English Dictionary yo-yo, which I won in a grammar quiz.

And ladies, I'm single.



Dnomyar -> RE: Why Dommes judge people based on grammar? (1/28/2008 12:13:41 PM)

The reason that your single hands is because most of the women dont know what your talking about. Grammar majors turn off a lot of people. You come across as being to snobbish.



hands0n0knees -> RE: Why Dommes judge people based on grammar? (1/28/2008 12:22:34 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

The reason that your single hands is because most of the women dont know what your talking about. Grammar majors turn off a lot of people. You come across as being to snobbish.


*too



DelilahDeb -> RE: Why Dommes judge people based on grammar? (1/28/2008 4:02:02 PM)

When you are communicating in print, all you have are your words.

I'll overlook the odd misspelling or transposition (teh, for instance) in a message that has actual content and thought in it.

But, dammit, y'all oughta have 'nough sense to recognize when to use English and when to use slang. And I don't care whether you are (Goddess, I *really* miss correct usage of apostrophes!) a dom, a domme, a fleabitten grey ponygirl, or an over-age sub-boy.

Mind you, I've been singing this song ever since I hosted a weekly chat on AOL in 1993-94 (before it had more than half a million subscribers and didn't have Internet access). According to the psychologists, first impressions are ~70% visually based, 20% auditorially based, and only 7% (that's seven percent, less than one-tenth) based on what is actually *said*. And that's when meeting in person, face to face.

So, now. You are meeting someone online, and where is all that visual attention going to go?

Delilah Deb

fewer people, more trees



Speissgurl -> RE: Why Dommes judge people based on grammar? (8/24/2008 7:57:02 AM)

On the other hand, I will not pursue a domme who has grammatical and spelling errors in their ads or postings. If you don't have the attention to detail or can't take the time to run spell check, how much time and care to safety can I expect in the relationship?
quote:

so



thishereboi -> RE: Why Dommes judge people based on grammar? (8/24/2008 8:07:57 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: VeryCurious07

quote:

ORIGINAL: slavekal

I am a sub male, and that is a sore spot for me.  I can accept informal languge, but some people write like they never went to school at all.   And use a dictionary.  The original poster used a word that he didn't know how to spell.  Why didn't he look it up?  The word is ABHORRENT, not ABHORANT.


While I agree with the spirit of your post, I don't agree with the idea that one should have perfect spelling and grammar. I believe it is important to have coherent and comprehensible usage of the language, but this is, after all, a message forum, not an institution of higher learning. What I was referring to was not the mis-spelling of a word like abhorrent, but when people type in l33t or completely chaotic gibberish. By the way, if you don't know what l33t is, consider your IQ to be raised 20 points for the blissful ignorance.

Look, there's a huge difference between firing off a message board post which is moronic drivel and one with a mis-spell here, an imporoper comma or semicolon there, a few too many adverbs or other common mistakes. My point is that this is a forum for entertainment and community, not  a NASA or MENSA proving ground with a shit load of pedantic grammar police ready to pounce on your casual post with the fervor of your twelfth grade teacher. ;)


On WOW l33t is elite, does this mean my IQ is dropping?



thishereboi -> RE: Why Dommes judge people based on grammar? (8/24/2008 8:10:29 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: TheShadoeFox

Bah, skip the definitions. Go read Megatokyo. Asside from being somewhat entertaining as a webcomic it's darn near a primer for L33T speak.

Now why you'd NEED a primer for such an annoying thing, is beyond me, but it's actually entertaining in the context of the comic.



Honestly, I think this "internet speak" is just an excuse for people who are to lazy to learn how to spell. Now if I screw up something, I can just claim it is "internet speak" and I meant to spell it that way.



thishereboi -> RE: Why Dommes judge people based on grammar? (8/24/2008 8:17:10 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

What the other ladies (and Kumasan) said!  :)  It is not only submissives who are guilty of Evil Grammar:  I have seen some dominant profiles pop up that just alarm me.  What self respecting woman would submit to someone who can't even spell-check his profile?    I used to have a sig line, "If you can't spell it, don't ask for it!"

Francine, Grammardomme


That is so true, there is one Domme that pops up on the home page from time to time. Her profile starts off with -

"Im sitting here Reading these profiles, I have to ask myself how dumb or these slave/submissive. "

Every time I read it, I laugh. What a way to present yourself to others.



thishereboi -> RE: Why Dommes judge people based on grammar? (8/24/2008 8:24:07 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: darchChylde

just wondering, ladies; i've been posting here on CM in general and the mistress board in particular for a good shake now, while i'm not looking, i was wondering exactly what others here think of my writing style... i know that according to most, it would be horrid; as it is lacking on proper capitalization and punctuation (i also have an attrocious tendency to rely heavily on ellipses)

ok, i know the faults in my presentation; but is it a major issue so long as my points were clear and concise?  if i were to be looking for a dominant, do you suppose this lack would be anything more than a minor hindrance or actually a major issue which would need to be immediately rectified?



I don't remember ever having a problem with your english. I can understand what you say and I don't have to go back and reread it a couple times to do so.



Leatherist -> RE: Why Dommes judge people based on grammar? (8/24/2008 8:25:31 AM)

I'd hazard a guess in my usual non pc way.

Because bad grammar makes people look retarded.




thishereboi -> RE: Why Dommes judge people based on grammar? (8/24/2008 8:32:34 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LRODANDMASTER

I THINK ITS TOTALLY FREAKIN UNFARE THAT PPL JUDG U ON THE BASES OF UR GRAMMER.  JESUS FREAKIN CRIST WERE NOT ALL ENGLISH TEACHERS.  AL LTHAT MATTERS IS LIKE HOW ACRRUATELY I CAN WHIP UR ASS.


LMAO...now that was funny.



You were kidding, right?



MsStarlett -> RE: Why Dommes judge people based on grammar? (8/24/2008 8:38:37 AM)

*giggle*  How did I miss this thread?

I get all panicy when I type from work and don't have a spell checker!



silkenfire -> RE: Why Dommes judge people based on grammar? (8/24/2008 8:40:37 AM)

Well, I've made it through that thread... wow. And I just wanted to share... I'm not a Mistress, I'm a sub, but my profile essentially says not to message me with bad grammar and spelling. And it works! I did not have the on my profile the whole time I've been here, and before I put that up, I got many lame responses that I don't want to read. Now I at least get mostly semi-intelligent conversation starters.

However, if you have poor grammar and typing skills, maybe online is not the right place for you. Perhaps you SHOULD use the audio feature and record yourself talking. For typing is the way we are getting to know each other and I cannot respect you. I am looking for a Dom. If I cannot respect you in our initial back and forth chatting -- I will never respect you in the long term.

I assume that Dominas prefer to respect their subs as well.

If you meet me in person and we get along great and then I find out you can't write -- that's different. But here, it is how I am meeting you.     



Chrisdeb7478 -> RE: Why Dommes judge people based on grammar? (8/24/2008 8:41:14 AM)

Reads the above quoted remark and runs like hades to the bathroom before i wet myself from laughing so hard. I may not always have perfect spelling or grammer but over chatspeak or intentional stupidity drives me bonckers. Spell check may not pick up everything so if you can't spell it use a word you can. But being a grammatical smartass wanting everything 100 percent perfect 24/7 is also a downer. I take people mostly how they act though being able to understand what saying is needed



thishereboi -> RE: Why Dommes judge people based on grammar? (8/24/2008 8:42:30 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsStarlett

*giggle*  How did I miss this thread?

I get all panicy when I type from work and don't have a spell checker!



Well it was started in January, so that might be part of the reason. I didn't notice the dates until I came upon a post from myself using my old name.



MySweetSubmssive -> RE: Why Dommes judge people based on grammar? (8/24/2008 8:54:13 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: PairOfDimes

Yes, for many people, it's difficult to write good letters. I sympathize especially with people for whom English is a second language.


Ironically, in my experience ESL writers tend to do better than folks whose first language is English, which is part of why I tend to be intolerant.  It's not a lack of skill that produces a bad letter.  It's a lack of effort, care and/or desire.  We all know that sentences begin with a capital letter and end with some form of punctuation.  Folks who won't bother with details strike me as lazy and careless.  Given that I'm looking for a service-oriented person and a pleaser (and that I stress that I have a bee in my bonnet for langugage), I view a poorly constructed letter as a way to self-select out.

It's not simply an issue of laziness, though.  I get a lot of pleasure of out language.  With letters, we can create beauty, order, structure, power, courtship.  We can flirt.  We can flex our mental muscles.   That's incredibly appealing to me, sexy, erotic.  I look for people who play that way.

Mss



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