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How many are -really- that fast? - 1/2/2008 7:51:52 AM

RoughFN

Posts: 197
Joined: 7/26/2006
Status: offline

I'm curious about something...

I see a certain class of subs on here that basically fit the following pattern - they open up a new account, usually professing a complete and utter lack of experience with BDSM, but that they've always had thoughts, are eager to learn, etc.

And then within a few days they update their profile to announce that they're newly collared to a great master and look forward to eagerly serving him forever and ever and ever.

Their profiles tend to stick at that point for a while. Some come to their senses and realize it won't work, but as for the rest I wonder. Are those people just getting scared off and never bothering to update their profile again?

Or are they really finding their true perfect dom in the first 2 emails and then living happily ever after? I suppose that the odds are just as good of that happening as meeting somebody some other way - two people in the right place at the right time and all, but it sure sounds odd to me.

Anybody out there have one of those instant click things that actually worked? Or should I just chalk them all up to clueless n00bs?

Post #: 1

RE: How many are -really- that fast? - 1/2/2008 7:56:52 AM

childoftheshadow

Posts: 458
Joined: 8/2/2006
From: London UK
Status: offline

Personally, I've never really thought about it. I suppose it's none of my business what other people do.

(in reply to RoughFN)

Post #: 2

RE: How many are -really- that fast? - 1/2/2008 8:00:47 AM

grlneedstolearn

Posts: 728
Joined: 1/29/2007
Status: offline

Like childoftheshadow said, i don't really care what other people do in their own time. But like for me, it was an instant click with my Dom and we've been very happy since.

(in reply to childoftheshadow)

Post #: 3

RE: How many are -really- that fast? - 1/2/2008 8:10:58 AM

childoftheshadow

Posts: 458
Joined: 8/2/2006
From: London UK
Status: offline

Holy Hell! Someone actually agrees with me . . . that never happens :)

OP, why are you so concerned?

(in reply to grlneedstolearn)

Post #: 4

RE: How many are -really- that fast? - 1/2/2008 8:23:20 AM

RoughFN

Posts: 197
Joined: 7/26/2006
Status: offline

I'm not concerned, I just got curious on the matter. It truly doesn't matter to me one way or the other.

Well, I guess insomuch as I get to say, "Huh, good for you." but that's about it.

I suppose it's more a matter of separating the genuine from the people who really don't know what they're doing so I can adjust my internal filtering. Right now, I frankly assume that most of those "relationships" don't last and they people entering them don't know what they're doing. If it turns out they actually are lasting, then I'll adjust my assumptions as appropriate.

Just curiosity, really.

(in reply to childoftheshadow)

Post #: 5

RE: How many are -really- that fast? - 1/2/2008 8:29:52 AM

hardbodysub

Posts: 1654
Joined: 8/7/2005
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My guess is that most of the new-and-quickly-collared ones are just doing online play. They probably accept one of the first offers they get, and jump into a virtual relationship. Quick and easy. And phony, IMO, but if that's what they want, it's easy to find.

(in reply to RoughFN)

Post #: 6

RE: How many are -really- that fast? - 1/2/2008 8:30:00 AM

childoftheshadow

Posts: 458
Joined: 8/2/2006
From: London UK
Status: offline

It can, and does happen. It happened for grlneedstolearn. For me, it took a fair amount of time, but that was mostly due to distance. Had we been closer together, it would have happened a hell of a lot faster.

I wouldn't assume that people who seem to move faster than you would "don't know what they're doing".

(in reply to RoughFN)

Post #: 7

RE: How many are -really- that fast? - 1/2/2008 8:34:18 AM

childoftheshadow

Posts: 458
Joined: 8/2/2006
From: London UK
Status: offline

I don't think I'd class those who carry on a relationship online as "phony". My partner and I were only online for nearly a year, it turned out to be pretty real in the end, considering we've been married for more than 6 years.

(in reply to childoftheshadow)

Post #: 8

RE: How many are -really- that fast? - 1/2/2008 8:45:43 AM

hardbodysub

Posts: 1654
Joined: 8/7/2005
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Of course you're right, childoftheshadow, online can lead to real life. And to some people, online can seem real. But I don't think that many of the quickly-collared people referred to by the OP are actually moving on to real life situations. I could be wrong, but I picture most of them either having a good time pretending on their computer, or, if they take it very seriously, getting sucked into a virtual life similar to those who get so drawn into roleplaying games like WOW that they start losing the distinction between reality and virtual reality.

(in reply to childoftheshadow)

Post #: 9

RE: How many are -really- that fast? - 1/2/2008 8:51:27 AM

sweetnurseBBW

Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: RoughFN

I suppose it's more a matter of separating the genuine from the people who really don't know what they're doing so I can adjust my internal filtering. Right now, I frankly assume that most of those "relationships" don't last and they people entering them don't know what they're doing. If it turns out they actually are lasting, then I'll adjust my assumptions as appropriate.

Just curiosity, really.

And you can decipher who is genuine and who is not by words on a profile? I am impressed. Usually I have to talk to the person and talk face to face before someone gets labeled non-genuine in my world. Whose to decide who is genuine and who is not? Sometimes inexperience is the problem.

_____________________________

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(in reply to RoughFN)

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RE: How many are -really- that fast? - 1/2/2008 8:55:04 AM

childoftheshadow

Posts: 458
Joined: 8/2/2006
From: London UK
Status: offline

Even if they are just "having a good time pretending on their computer", I don't see anything wrong with that if it fullfills their needs. Granted, blurring the line between real and pretend isn't a great idea, it's up to them really. I think, as long as you're not hurting anyone else, then go for it.

Of course, there are those young girls who think that the first Dominant who emails them is going to be "The One", and they will more likely than not be very let down in the end. However, we all kind of go through that, be it online or anywhere else. It's all part of the learning process.

As for the ones who seem to jump into a relationship, then never return . . . they may have found their "One", or they could have changed their minds about what they want, or (and I'm sure it happens often) they were finished playing their games and went somewhere else.

I'm babbling now and someone needs to shut me up :)

(in reply to hardbodysub)

Post #: 11

RE: How many are -really- that fast? - 1/2/2008 9:09:37 AM

TMaster2

Posts: 194
Joined: 2/25/2006
Status: offline

I know I met my wife online (in an irc forum, not here, but still) and we didn't really talk that long before we were convinced we were right for each other. That was 12 years ago and I couldn't be happier, and I dare say the same goes for her. She is missfit on CM, btw. So I think it has to do with what you are looking for, your and their honesty and perception, and luck. Sometimes it works fast, sometimes it takes a long time.

My first slave met through CM -- we talked here for over a year, even though we only lived 40 miles apart, before we kinda realized we were what the other was looking for. (She eventually asked for release due to health concerns.) I have met another couple here, and been talking with them since last October, I think it was, and things are getting close there, so this may be a bit quicker, but again, we kinda know better what we're looking for and being honest and up-front with each other. That makes the decisions easier, one way or the other.

And of course, many you are talking about just kinda forget about their profile here and move on to other things, leaving it up as is. I've probably done that somewhere and can't even remember where or how to get back to change it.

_____________________________

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(in reply to RoughFN)

Post #: 12

RE: How many are -really- that fast? - 1/2/2008 9:55:52 AM

sunshinemiss

Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline

*listens intently... nope.. no clicking in my world... yet. But there is always hope.

I always think that life, in most ways, is a bell curve. So, the context being your question, I would presume that a very few do in fact click right away and a very few never click, while most fall somewhere in the middle.

peace

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to TMaster2)

Post #: 13

RE: How many are -really- that fast? - 1/2/2008 11:00:49 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

I'm one of them. And we're still together four years later so I guess it can work.

The difference is that I had already figured out the hard part. I had already realized what I needed in a partner. I had a list of qualities I just wouldn't compromise on and a list of qualities I wouldn't get near with a ten foot pole. I knew what I was looking for.

Having that made it real easy to read an email, and label the writer as not compatible. I got an awful lot of noncompatibles and very few possibly compatible, just judging by their profiles and lists of preferred activities. And of the possibles, I could confidently decide they weren't compatible by the second email.

That left one man who hit all the right spots for me, who didn't hit any of my deal breakers. The important thing is that I did the weeding out before I started looking. And I was a total newbie, but that didn't stop me from knowing what I wanted, just meant that whoever took me on had to know to go slowly enough for me to learn. And that ability of him to have patience was one of the things on my list.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to sunshinemiss)

Post #: 14

RE: How many are -really- that fast? - 1/2/2008 11:33:56 AM

toservez

Posts: 1733
Joined: 9/7/2006
From: All over now in Minnesota
Status: offline

I think the answer is that it can be any of the three reasons. A person found the person they fell for and forgot about their profile, got scared or disillusioned away or the profile was a diversion out of boredom.

The thing I cannot judge is which reason for which profile and the percentage of which.

Personally for me my Master turned out to be about the tenth person who wrote me so technically I could have done that and nothing in my wonderful life would have changed.

If you think anyone on here cannot be finding their other and that like all other things in human nature timing of this covers the spectrum of the rainbow then that is your issue. Personally I jdo not udge either way when coming across something of this nature.

< Message edited by toservez -- 1/2/2008 11:34:32 AM >

_____________________________

I am sorry I do not fit Webster's defintion of a slave but thankfully my Master is not Webster.

"Anything that contradicts experience and logic should be abandoned." - H.H. The 14th Dalai Lama

(in reply to RoughFN)

Post #: 15

RE: How many are -really- that fast? - 1/2/2008 11:52:31 AM

sambamanslilgirl

Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline

this might sound crazy however i have instantly clicked ...not once but twice with my respected Dominants. it was our interests/love for music/hobbies outside the kink that made me compatiable to them separately. though their style of domination is quite unique from the other, they perfectly fit in what i need in my life.

edited to add - Daddy and i been together for over a year ...my SO and i are getting married in Aug. 2 dominants 2 separate relationships - i'm quite happy

< Message edited by sambamanslilgirl -- 1/2/2008 11:54:27 AM >

_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...

...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to RoughFN)

Post #: 16

RE: How many are -really- that fast? - 1/2/2008 11:56:06 AM

adoracat

Posts: 1779
Joined: 2/16/2007
Status: offline

i joined last febuary i think. and i met my Daddy within a month. he presented me with my permanent collar in august. i just dont update my profile/journal often.

i guess its cause i'm busy talking with him, and planning for the next visit, whatever....to worry a whole lot about what my profile does or doesnt say.

kitten

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)

Post #: 17

RE: How many are -really- that fast? - 1/2/2008 11:57:11 AM

batshalom

Posts: 1990
Joined: 9/17/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: childoftheshadow

OP, why are you so concerned?

Sounded suspiciously like a jab at someone to me. ~shrug~

(in reply to childoftheshadow)

Post #: 18

RE: How many are -really- that fast? - 1/2/2008 12:41:51 PM

Onmyknees4YouSir

Posts: 7
Joined: 11/4/2007
Status: offline

I would have to say that it appears I fit into that catagory. I am somewhat new to the lifestyle also and have recently met a Dom online that lives close to me. We talked online and then IM and finally met. We have been together for a little over a month now and we have clicked very well. He has been in the lifestyle for quite awhile and I wear his training collar. I consider myself his slave as does he. We have talked about the meaning of a slave over a sub and both agree its a matter of mostly limits. I love what i am experiencing and have grown to care for him very much and because I want very much to please him I have set no limits. I don't feel that it is crazy because i still have my safe word which he fully respects and if need be he stops and we discuss it and then move on. So i believe things can move pretty fast and still be good! It is not online play!

(in reply to RoughFN)

Post #: 19

RE: How many are -really- that fast? - 1/2/2008 12:52:10 PM

NakedGirlScout

Posts: 370
Joined: 1/10/2006
From: Toronto
Status: offline

~quick reply~

I'm slightly notorious, to those who know me, for having married my Dom just 1 week after we met in person. Which we did as soon as possible after we started chatting on here; due to long distance it took all of 1 month to arrange time off, plane tickets, etc. In fact, we had already planned our wedding before ever having met in person.

I *know* that's cuckoo! Yes I am a lunatic!

But 2 years later we're both happier than we've ever been in our lives and each is the other's "The One".

I can't speak for everyone else but I'll bet what you are seeing when you browse those profiles is a mixture of all possible outcomes. Good and bad and flaky and what-have-you. You just never know.

(in reply to Onmyknees4YouSir)

Post #: 20

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