RE: Dom/Domme needing their own space?

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RE: Dom/Domme needing their own space? - 1/3/2008 12:07:33 PM

YourhandMyAss

Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
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Daddy has never not come over due to wanting to be left alone. If he can come he's always here every week. Now if work interfeared or there was a family emergency then he wouldn't come or would try to come after the problem was dealt with. Visits to me are just as important to him as to me, and he's never decide on a whim not to come. And he's never not explained why he isn't coming. And honestly I would expect a reason why other than cause, or cause I said so and he knows that and respects it.

quote:

ORIGINAL: grlneedstolearn

i'm asking if anyone's Dom/Domme has told them that no they weren't coming over and leave it at that when usually they let you know why the day/time isn't good for them,etc.

< Message edited by YourhandMyAss -- 1/3/2008 12:09:09 PM >

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RE: Dom/Domme needing their own space? - 1/3/2008 7:05:26 PM

sakidorei

Posts: 65
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AnimusRex
Sometimes the most loving gift a girl can offer is to simply let a Man be still and in His own thoughts.

i think that is a most profound truth that is very hard to learn ... sometimes Master needs His space and time and my pushing to be -in- that space only alienates me ... it does not endear me to Him. He is a very busy Man with many committments and His time NEEDS to be His ... doesn't mean He doesn't care ... that He doesn't want me any more ... it means that He NEEDS to be able to trust that i am ok and solid when He is taking His time alone. He doesn't need questions or demands for explanations and answers ... He just needs me to -be-. Sometimes that's the best thing i can give Him in my service.

~saki
Property of Master D.

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RE: Dom/Domme needing their own space? - 1/4/2008 10:56:51 AM

meticulousgirl

Posts: 969
Joined: 2/20/2007
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Well trust definitly has a lot to do with the majority of this topic, people need their own space, Dom, sub, slave we all need it. Now i would say it the space is for a long period of time, there is something wrong somewhere but, maybe He is not ready to discuss it, and it's not your place to push it out of Him either as much as you may want to.

~meticulous~

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RE: Dom/Domme needing their own space? - 1/4/2008 11:17:35 AM

Leatherist

Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sakidorei

quote:

ORIGINAL: AnimusRex
Sometimes the most loving gift a girl can offer is to simply let a Man be still and in His own thoughts.

i think that is a most profound truth that is very hard to learn ... sometimes Master needs His space and time and my pushing to be -in- that space only alienates me ... it does not endear me to Him. He is a very busy Man with many committments and His time NEEDS to be His ... doesn't mean He doesn't care ... that He doesn't want me any more ... it means that He NEEDS to be able to trust that i am ok and solid when He is taking His time alone. He doesn't need questions or demands for explanations and answers ... He just needs me to -be-. Sometimes that's the best thing i can give Him in my service.

~saki
Property of Master D.

And you won't be serving him if he has to worry you are imploding emotionally, from selfish motives. One example of why one must be "strong",or things just don't work.

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RE: Dom/Domme needing their own space? - 1/4/2008 9:47:55 PM

sirrandpolyfam

Posts: 138
Joined: 5/20/2007
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Master and I have been living together for 2 years now and we do most things together so privacy isn't really an issue. Masters rule is that we have no secrets from each other. I thought it would be hard to be with someone where I didn't have "me time" but it really isn't. We both have some "me time" at least an hour or 1 a day but we always tell the other what we were doing during that hour or 2. Master and I just enjoy being with each other so much that we don't need much privacy.

Before I met Master I needed a lot of "me time." I think the reason I needed "me time" so much was because I was always thinking about something... something that I wanted to learn or some situation that was going on in my life and I needed "me time" to think and figure things out by myself. Now that I have a Master I always talk it out with him and he can always give me great advice. I still use my own head and come up with my own thoughts, but its great to have someone you can trust to give you another point of view. If your with someone that you really enjoy being with "me time" isn't that big of a deal.

I do think that the Master/Mistress should tell there sub/slave what is going on. Another thought is maybe the sub/slave could help there Master/Mistress out with whatever issue they are having.

I also agree with sakidorei "i think that is a most profound truth that is very hard to learn ... sometimes Master needs His space and time and my pushing to be -in- that space only alienates me ... it does not endear me to Him. He is a very busy Man with many committments and His time NEEDS to be His ... doesn't mean He doesn't care ... that He doesn't want me any more ... it means that He NEEDS to be able to trust that i am ok and solid when He is taking His time alone. He doesn't need questions or demands for explanations and answers ... He just needs me to -be-. Sometimes that's the best thing i can give Him in my service. "

If your insecure you should talk to your Master about it after he has had his "me time." You should always be able to communicate your thoughts, feelings with your Master/Mistress at an appropriate time. I'm wondering how long you 2 have been together? I have lots of thoughts on this but I feel as if I'm just babbling if I don't know more information. So I'll just stop now and see if anyone has anything to say about what I just wrote.

pyrobabe

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RE: Dom/Domme needing their own space? - 1/4/2008 10:25:40 PM

TemptingNviceSub

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I guess to me..I would need to know how much "alone" time is enough..and how much would be simply "not time"...for me?....Tempting

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RE: Dom/Domme needing their own space? - 1/5/2008 6:03:44 PM

Surrenderwithin

Posts: 368
Joined: 10/8/2006
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Since this is a specific problem I find it difficult to give a general answer. It sounds to me like there may be a lack of communication with said Dominant. Perhaps the submissive needs to ask for an explanation or choose to just trust said Dominant. There could be several reasons that he is unable to leave the house, but he still wishes to converse with the submissive. COMMUNICATE, rather than assuming the worst.

Maggi

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