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Who's the producer in Y/your scenes? - 8/22/2005 10:26:18 PM

subversiveone

Posts: 332
Joined: 4/20/2005
From: Daddy's Lap
Status: offline

Do Y/you discuss what goes into the scene beforehand? and if so, how???
i find it unusually difficult as of late to explain what it is that i desire, because it's often just a 'state of mind', feeling, emotion. i wish it were as simple as "i want to feel used" or just "allow me to serve You"... What i want borderlines on humiliation, but i can't seem to explain it well enough.

Also it's so much more erotic for my Dom to control the flow and content, otherwise i feel less 'subly' about the whole thing. i guess im looking for ways to come up with 'material' to run by Him because not only am i shy about the discussion, i have 'writers block' and don't read a lot of erotica. He desires this input, actually expects it, but i seem trapped in my persona of 'littlegirl' who's not big on talking.

Thanx for any suggestions on how Y/you communicate intimate desires or fantasies!

_____________________________

[img]http://www.sloganizer.net/en/style4,de-spc-de-spc-dee.png[/img]

Post #: 1

RE: Who's the producer in Y/your scenes? - 8/23/2005 5:09:33 AM

JohnWarren

Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: subversiveone

Do Y/you discuss what goes into the scene beforehand? and if so, how???
i find it unusually difficult as of late to explain what it is that i desire, because it's often just a 'state of mind', feeling, emotion. i wish it were as simple as "i want to feel used" or just "allow me to serve You"... What i want borderlines on humiliation, but i can't seem to explain it well enough.

Also it's so much more erotic for my Dom to control the flow and content, otherwise i feel less 'subly' about the whole thing. i guess im looking for ways to come up with 'material' to run by Him because not only am i shy about the discussion, i have 'writers block' and don't read a lot of erotica. He desires this input, actually expects it, but i seem trapped in my persona of 'littlegirl' who's not big on talking.

Thanx for any suggestions on how Y/you communicate intimate desires or fantasies!

To me a scene is like a jazz dance. I know where I want to start and where I want to end up but in between I move though a "library" of activities prompted by the energy of the moment between my partner and me.

_____________________________

www.lovingdominant.org

(in reply to subversiveone)

Post #: 2

RE: Who's the producer in Y/your scenes? - 8/23/2005 5:15:02 AM

imtempting

Posts: 1280
Joined: 2/11/2005
Status: offline

You need to be open I think.

I kinda actually agree with JohnWarren.

If you read it again. Hey JohnWarren.. Im still after the smoking gun :P

(in reply to subversiveone)

Post #: 3

RE: Who's the producer in Y/your scenes? - 8/23/2005 5:20:27 AM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

Ya know; MrT,

Tenacity is very often considered a desirable trait. How are ya?

LOL,
Ron

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to imtempting)

Post #: 4

RE: Who's the producer in Y/your scenes? - 8/23/2005 5:25:40 AM

fastlane

Posts: 2159
Joined: 5/26/2005
Status: offline

I too think John Warren nailed it. I too know where to begin and how I want it to end, but the inbetween is based on a lot of improv. This is where a Dom with a good imagination can have sooooooooo much fun!

_____________________________

Just because it hurts, doesn't necessarily make it a bad thing.

(in reply to mnottertail)

Post #: 5

RE: Who's the producer in Y/your scenes? - 8/23/2005 5:43:15 AM

Oumae

Posts: 911
Joined: 1/4/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: subversiveone

Do Y/you discuss what goes into the scene beforehand? and if so, how???
[

I discuss it but indirectly.

I may have an idea in my head when starting a"scene" with a sub of what I might want to do but whilst playing I go with the flow and follow what feels right by reading the sub's body language and how I am feeling myself.

I talk lots to subs beforehand about their likes, dislikes and things they think they'd like to explore or limits they might have. I don't tell them exactly when it may happen as I like the element of surprise.

If you are more comfortable with writing maybe try and write out some fantasies/scenarios and get an idea that way.

Have fun.

Oumae

_____________________________

Is cuma le fear na mbrog ca leagann se a chos.
( The man with the boots does not mind where he places his foot)

(in reply to subversiveone)

Post #: 6

RE: Who's the producer in Y/your scenes? - 8/23/2005 6:13:42 AM

EmeraldSlave2

Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: subversiveone

Do Y/you discuss what goes into the scene beforehand? and if so, how???

Sometimes yes, sometimes no. The Owner never plans out a scene beforehand unless he's got to get supplies for it. Otherwise it's just hoist me up and go to the pain.

With my other partners I might have a specific idea I want to explore with them and want to discuss it with them first, or sometimes we just spontaneously start something up.

quote:

i have 'writers block' and don't read a lot of erotica. He desires this input, actually expects it, but i seem trapped in my persona of 'littlegirl' who's not big on talking.

Thanx for any suggestions on how Y/you communicate intimate desires or fantasies!

Just remember that doms also have "writers block" and a lot of times they really DO want a good scene for you and want to make sure their vibes are working with your vibes. If you're in the headspace for a slow paced sensual scene, then a zipper or high intensity TENS scene might not be good for you. As you gain more experience yourself, and as you gain more experience together, you will be able to identify and communicate your moods better. It's perfectly fine to say "I"m feeling passive here, just take me" but then you have to accept that they might not take you exactly how feels "most good" at that time.

Like most things, just takes time, exposure, and practice.

(in reply to subversiveone)

Post #: 7

RE: Who's the producer in Y/your scenes? - 8/23/2005 6:16:00 AM

lonewolf05

Posts: 830
Joined: 6/21/2005
Status: offline

no prior discussions. Mistress plays everything on the spur of the moment. i have no idea and neither does She. She reacts and acts to my reactions of whatever She is doing or just did. or She invents things at the moment to do and try.........

wolfie

_____________________________

"there is no gravity, life sucks!"

(in reply to subversiveone)

Post #: 8

RE: Who's the producer in Y/your scenes? - 8/23/2005 7:02:52 AM

JohnWarren

Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Oumae

If you are more comfortable with writing maybe try and write out some fantasies/scenarios and get an idea that way.

Have fun.

Oumae

Readers also have an advantage. I often recommend to people who have my Safe, Sane, Consensual and Fun (a collection of scenes) that they mark the ones that turn them on with post-'em notes and then give the book to their partner. The same sort of thing can be done with any book, for example, Nancy Friday's collections.

_____________________________

www.lovingdominant.org

(in reply to Oumae)

Post #: 9

RE: Who's the producer in Y/your scenes? - 8/23/2005 7:21:38 AM

imtempting

Posts: 1280
Joined: 2/11/2005
Status: offline

Thank you I am desirable I mean ive never been told that before.

Im good thanks. Im over my self imposed ban and ready to put my imput back into the forums.

How you be?

(in reply to mnottertail)

Post #: 10

RE: Who's the producer in Y/your scenes? - 8/23/2005 7:43:04 AM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

I have permission to bring to his attention things that I desire during a play session. This doesn't mean that I get them, it just means that he knows what is in my head. The only other time we will discuss a scene is if he plans to bring someone else into it.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to imtempting)

Post #: 11

RE: Who's the producer in Y/your scenes? - 8/23/2005 8:28:30 AM

RiotGirl

Posts: 3149
Status: offline

Cant help ya sorry. i'm at the completely opposite end of the spectrum. When, where and if we have a scene, i've no clue about. When he decides he wants to play i'm usually notified by "go get the ropes" or some such thing. Asking what will be doing is usually greeted by silence or simply "you will see" He produces, directs, ends, starts, ect ect ect.

< Message edited by RiotGirl -- 8/23/2005 8:30:41 AM >

(in reply to OsideGirl)

Post #: 12

RE: Who's the producer in Y/your scenes? - 8/23/2005 8:31:22 AM

daveW

Posts: 2
Joined: 8/20/2005
Status: offline

I don't actually belive in "scenes". It flows, it happens. It is not planned or orchestrated. W/we live, W/we are.

D

(in reply to OsideGirl)

Post #: 13

RE: Who's the producer in Y/your scenes? - 8/23/2005 8:48:34 AM

ProtagonistLily

Posts: 1222
Joined: 12/27/2004
Status: offline

He is. We've shared our limits and discussed things, but we don't negotiate scene to scene. When he's ready to play (this is at a club setting, home's much more impromptu) he takes my hand and asks, "Do you trust me?" I do, so I say "Yes" and off we go.

With this process, we've had one touch and go scene amidst the fabulous ones. We tried soemthing new, and it didn't work so well. We discussed it afterwards and made adjustments.

Are there things I'd like that he hasn't done? Yes and they are on the list that I've shared with Sir; but those are things I can wait for, as they are things that he needs to get a better skill level in order to do. I don't think I should say "Sir, I know you have never done this, but if you read this sheet, it tells you all you need to know about Fireplay," and then assume he'll get it right and I won't end up in Emergency. In my opinion there are just certain things that need to be taught by someone else compentent, and although I've bottomed to knives, fire, etc, I don't feel I'm in any capacity a knowlegable teacher.

I enjoy being taken into a scene with very little pre-negotiation. Sir and I are in a committed relationship, and I would not be playing like this with others in a random context.

For me, with Sir, it's all about trust and I enjoy where the trust takes us.

Lily

_____________________________

"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"
~Dr. Seuss~

(in reply to subversiveone)

Post #: 14

RE: Who's the producer in Y/your scenes? - 8/23/2005 9:47:20 AM

NakedOnMyChain

Posts: 2431
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: Indiana
Status: offline

We usually don't discuss what will go on in a scene before it happens. I'm interested to read how other people respond to your question, though.

_____________________________

"Oh, it's torture, but I'm almost there."
~The Cure

"I ask for so little. Just fear me, love me, do as I say, and I will be your slave."
~The Labyrinth

(in reply to subversiveone)

Post #: 15

RE: Who's the producer in Y/your scenes? - 8/23/2005 9:47:34 AM

subversiveone

Posts: 332
Joined: 4/20/2005
From: Daddy's Lap
Status: offline

Thanx to E/everyone thus far, good answers, good info.
For further readers i should just mention that this is new to us as a couple, and we've discovered that while D/s is important to us, it doesn't rule every move. So i have a lot of freedom i suppose when it comes to requests. SM hasn't produced very well for Him, He loves the look of typical scenes but my reactions to pain haven't been as stimulating.
For the tops out there, with 'writers block' so to speak, if pain wasn't an option but You wanted to still scene and take your subs to 'other places', would it simply become a 'mind fuck' at that point?

_____________________________

[img]http://www.sloganizer.net/en/style4,de-spc-de-spc-dee.png[/img]

(in reply to ProtagonistLily)

Post #: 16

RE: Who's the producer in Y/your scenes? - 8/23/2005 11:01:55 AM

lonewolf05

Posts: 830
Joined: 6/21/2005
Status: offline

quote:

that they mark the ones that turn them on with post-'em notes and then give the book to their partner.

=======================
Mister Warren<----

lol giggling chuckling.....
what turns them on? ah jeez. am i in trouble. there is no book anyway written by anyone that has a clue.
i don't get into play with Mistress coz it turns me on........it is SOLELY for MY de-stress use.
not for sex.
not for those hormone things that my meds have blocked, endorphins? is that it? not in ME.
not for any fetish i may have.......
it is ONLY for my stress..............AND ----------HER entertainment at my jumping around and squealing........

wolfie

< Message edited by lonewolf05 -- 8/23/2005 11:02:37 AM >

_____________________________

"there is no gravity, life sucks!"

(in reply to JohnWarren)

Post #: 17

RE: Who's the producer in Y/your scenes? - 8/24/2005 1:56:40 AM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

Upright and taking nourishment.

Ron

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to imtempting)

Post #: 18

RE: Who's the producer in Y/your scenes? - 8/24/2005 2:01:54 AM

imtempting

Posts: 1280
Joined: 2/11/2005
Status: offline

Did you miss me? I missed you.....

(in reply to mnottertail)

Post #: 19

RE: Who's the producer in Y/your scenes? - 8/24/2005 3:15:18 AM

ElektraUkM

Posts: 309
Joined: 2/19/2005
Status: offline

Master does all the imaginitive stuff where we're concerned.

He asks me all the time what I've been wondering about, wanting to do... but what I want to do most is what HE wants to do! (and I worry that's a drag!). But if I've actually mentioned something I've been thinking about it does tend to turn up at some time or other... so I know he's listening (even though that's not exactly what I 'want').

Basically, he's the one with the imagination. haha.

For subversiveone: if you're not really into pain (it's not my particular pleasure), then there are lots of things to try. Restriction of movement, for example, either by being tied or ordered to stay in a particular position (oh... but then that gets very uncomfortable too...). I'm sure there are threads on painless 'punishment' all over the site ~ good luck!

~ Elektra

(in reply to imtempting)

Post #: 20

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