quote:

ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx

So now how did it finally come about that the 'other sub' found out? I saw you posted that in another thread, and I'm very confused. (uhm...ok...usually confused! *lol*)

~Christina

quote:

ORIGINAL: parttimehotty
Thank you all.  Camille65, you've struck a chord w/me, i am being selfish in this whole scenario. i do want more time w/Him. i thought i could handle being the fb when He needed one, but unfortunately for me, i've fallen hard for Him.  i must step back and reevaluate my thoughts on this "relationship" because if it continues, i can only see further distress for Him.& heartache for me.

quote:

ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx

(sheesh my mouth needs rinsed with soap, huh?)

~Christina

i have seen that done at a CAPEX demo...not a pretty site and combined with face-slapping, became pretty traumatic for my sesitivities!

quote:

ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx

Nah; I still think this guy was a lying....****
AND, think about this, how do you know it was even her who sent you those last nasty tm's?
I think this 'dom' was afraid of getting caught, and called it off, but was too much of a **** to say so.
(sheesh my mouth needs rinsed with soap, huh?)

~Christina

quote:

ORIGINAL: parttimehotty

quote:

ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx

So now how did it finally come about that the 'other sub' found out? I saw you posted that in another thread, and I'm very confused. (uhm...ok...usually confused! *lol*)

~Christina

i don't know exactly.  She sent me a tm stating that her "husband" tells her everything and that she knows what i've been doing.  i suspect in actuality that she read thru his tm's and saw my pics/nasty grams :(  i was actually "chatting" w/her via tm and invited her to call me.  i tried to be civil thru the whole exchange. She hasn't called and she probably won't, but i extended the invite to show her she has nothing to worry about, but i understand that she's still angry/hurt over his betrayal. But is it betrayal if she gave him the go ahead?  Or did she???

quote:

ORIGINAL: Maya2001

quote:

ORIGINAL: parttimehotty

quote:

ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx

So now how did it finally come about that the 'other sub' found out? I saw you posted that in another thread, and I'm very confused. (uhm...ok...usually confused! *lol*)

~Christina

i don't know exactly.  She sent me a tm stating that her "husband" tells her everything and that she knows what i've been doing.  i suspect in actuality that she read thru his tm's and saw my pics/nasty grams :(  i was actually "chatting" w/her via tm and invited her to call me.  i tried to be civil thru the whole exchange. She hasn't called and she probably won't, but i extended the invite to show her she has nothing to worry about, but i understand that she's still angry/hurt over his betrayal. But is it betrayal if she gave him the go ahead?  Or did she???

LOL  she states she is his wife likely  vanilla, though could be sub but no permission wasgiven  and is likely perfectly healthy, finds your photos , gets hold of  you angry as a wet hen ... and you invite  her to prove she has nothing to fear from you......LOL....priceless ..... is he in the dog house big time!!!! ....Damn it sounds like the senario that unraveled with some guy I know in NC who I use to chat with  months earlier, who has been messing around on his new live in sub and just got caught LOL he contacts me to talk about and for advice ---and than tells me he is coming up this way next month wants to take me  out for supper  .... and then play LOL  ---- umm  me  "NO Thanks!!!!!!"  at least with me he was honest enough to admit he is a dog...too bad he could not have been more with his  partners


My advice next time some guy states he has a sub partner who is saying it is okay to play around ...make sure you hear it from her mouth ...before you get involved

quote:

ORIGINAL: parttimehotty

Indeed i am the sub sub and it would be nice to have a Dom i can acutually CALL as opposed to TM'ing all the freakin time. i have to tm permission to call :(  He said in the beginning that she said to find His "release" elsewhere since she can't partake in the edge play.  i've suggested a meeting but He became quite angry about it, saying that i was already told she didn't want to know. How can you know, yet not know?  Denile (denial) is not just a river in Egypt, right?

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: parttimehotty

Indeed i am the sub sub and it would be nice to have a Dom i can acutually CALL as opposed to TM'ing all the freakin time. i have to tm permission to call :(  He said in the beginning that she said to find His "release" elsewhere since she can't partake in the edge play.  i've suggested a meeting but He became quite angry about it, saying that i was already told she didn't want to know. How can you know, yet not know?  Denile (denial) is not just a river in Egypt, right?

I can completely understand her not wanting to know. It's one thing to know that your partner have mutiple partners. It's another thing to hear about it and meet them. I can even understand TMing to call - she may not want to answer the phone and hear your voice or maybe he doesn't want the ring to disturb her.

Sadly, it does put the call of if he lying and cheating or telling the truth and respecting her wishes in your hands. You will have to make that call, but I strongly advise not pushing for a meeting because if he is telling the truth... well, I couldn't sleep easy that night knowing that I had upset her and the agreement they had. I don't think I could be part of that sort of situation because I couldn't disrespect her wishes but I would need an assurence for myself that this was all kosher.

quote:

ORIGINAL: parttimehotty
i'm not pushing for a mtg. i just extended the invite if she actually wanted to speak w/me.
i thought it might just be the civil thing to do considering the circumstances.  i even mentioned in my tm that i thought she was a strong woman/i had hoped that this would lead to a poly situation where i would serve them both.  She declined that suggestion, of course.

quote:

ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx

I understand that Cali; but this sounds to me like a convenient lie to get a part-time subbie.
Another big red flag is the fact that she has to tm him for permission to call.
(that can be hot in certain circumstances but not just when someone is using it to avoid being caught.)

Op; there are lots around who are just looking for play, but it sounds as if you want your 'very own' dom. I just think this guy sounds like a schemer...

quote:

ORIGINAL: parttimehotty

Good morning, All:

This question is addressed specifically to the Dom's who engage in edge play....but of course, anyone is welcome to answer ;)
If your sub, whom you claim to love more than anyone before her is stricken w/a terminal illness, unable to participate in the edge play, the kinky sessions that you desire 90% of the time, would you find another sub to satisfy you in this manner w/o telling your ill sub?  You ill sub has said that she knows she can't satisfy you in this way and to look elsewhere, however she has no desire to be privy to your actions.  The substitute sub is into everything you are, you enjoy her company yet you live about a 45minute drive from her.  Telling her to come to you is not an option unless you rent a room therefore you must visit her. Your schedule is extremely tight w/kids, taking care of ill sub during her down times, running her home based business and your regular day job for the income to take care of her medical expenses that insurance doesn't cover.  You are extremely tired most of the time trying to juggle all of these duties. 
Despite the fact your sub has asked NOT to be privy to your extracurricular actions, would you tell her about the substitute sub in order to make YOUR life easier, thus creating a poly situation?  i know that your sub is ill, but you are the Dom, in charge, what would you do?

Respectfully,

quote:

ORIGINAL: christine1

quote:

ORIGINAL: parttimehotty

Good morning, All:

This question is addressed specifically to the Dom's who engage in edge play....but of course, anyone is welcome to answer ;)
If your sub, whom you claim to love more than anyone before her is stricken w/a terminal illness, unable to participate in the edge play, the kinky sessions that you desire 90% of the time, would you find another sub to satisfy you in this manner w/o telling your ill sub?  You ill sub has said that she knows she can't satisfy you in this way and to look elsewhere, however she has no desire to be privy to your actions.  The substitute sub is into everything you are, you enjoy her company yet you live about a 45minute drive from her.  Telling her to come to you is not an option unless you rent a room therefore you must visit her. Your schedule is extremely tight w/kids, taking care of ill sub during her down times, running her home based business and your regular day job for the income to take care of her medical expenses that insurance doesn't cover.  You are extremely tired most of the time trying to juggle all of these duties. 
Despite the fact your sub has asked NOT to be privy to your extracurricular actions, would you tell her about the substitute sub in order to make YOUR life easier, thus creating a poly situation?  i know that your sub is ill, but you are the Dom, in charge, what would you do?

Respectfully,

i think you should make up a name for this "soap opera".

quote:

ORIGINAL: darkpassenger434

I'm not sure I would even put myself in that situation. If someone that I "loved more than anyone" was preparing for egress I am reasonably certain I would have a lot more on my mind than getting off. I also wouldn't feel right not telling her, and if her wish was not to know I would probably realize that the only way I could be in control and not dishonor the dying would be to dominate MY OWN ACTIONS and not give in. I suspect that when it was all over I would hardly remember those months I couldn't have my kink on demand, but I would probably remember standing by my sub until the end, without compromising my own honor in the process. I would also have serious reservations about the person that was willing to submit to this. I would have to ask "why? What could they possibly get out of this." Just my opinion.
-R

quote:

ORIGINAL: darkpassenger434

I'm not sure I would even put myself in that situation. If someone that I "loved more than anyone" was preparing for egress I am reasonably certain I would have a lot more on my mind than getting off. I also wouldn't feel right not telling her, and if her wish was not to know I would probably realize that the only way I could be in control and not dishonor the dying would be to dominate MY OWN ACTIONS and not give in. I suspect that when it was all over I would hardly remember those months I couldn't have my kink on demand, but I would probably remember standing by my sub until the end, without compromising my own honor in the process. I would also have serious reservations about the person that was willing to submit to this. I would have to ask "why? What could they possibly get out of this." Just my opinion.
-R

quote:

ORIGINAL: darkpassenger434

I'm not sure I would even put myself in that situation. If someone that I "loved more than anyone" was preparing for egress I am reasonably certain I would have a lot more on my mind than getting off. I also wouldn't feel right not telling her, and if her wish was not to know I would probably realize that the only way I could be in control and not dishonor the dying would be to dominate MY OWN ACTIONS and not give in. I suspect that when it was all over I would hardly remember those months I couldn't have my kink on demand, but I would probably remember standing by my sub until the end, without compromising my own honor in the process. I would also have serious reservations about the person that was willing to submit to this. I would have to ask "why? What could they possibly get out of this." Just my opinion.
-R

edit note - I missed some of the posts regarding the other true partner finding out. I have to tell you. This sounds to me like a load of shit and he sounds like an asshat. Have you EVER been in a situation where you have known this guy to do something out of consideration for others? We Doms do occasionally do that.