quote:

ORIGINAL: PsyVamp

You bring up an interesting concept. 


I read your question to say that the emotional distance was being utilized as a punishment for something done wrong or not done at all, which would be different than you being unhappy when he was upset because his boss sniped at him.
And that care needs to be taken with this type of punishment because as a hard whipping will leave physical scars, an emotional withdrawl can leave emotional scars.

Lady Jag

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP
But actually, it depends. Some subs like emotional sadism, having their moods go back and forth in response. They find that dealing with this sort of thing makes them stronger, like humiliation play. For them it's a good thing.

quote:

oh wow a poppi culture term  lets see NOT  no healthy human being on this or other  planet likes mental abuse or negitive put downs how stupid is that
unless they  have some kinda of childhood abuse  NO WAY

quote:

ORIGINAL: LATEXBABY64

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP
But actually, it depends. Some subs like emotional sadism, having their moods go back and forth in response. They find that dealing with this sort of thing makes them stronger, like humiliation play. For them it's a good thing.

oh wow a poppi culture term  lets see NOT  no healthy human being on this or other  planet likes mental abuse or negitive put downs how stupid is that
unless they  have some kinda of childhood abuse  NO WAY

quote:

ORIGINAL: geishagurl

I think Dominants sometimes do not realize how MUCH power they have over their submissive, emotional wise. If he is happy, she is happy. If he’s unhappy, she is unhappy. If he’s disappointed in her, she’s even more disappointed in herself. If he withdraws from her for punishment, she withdraws even further. If his withdrawal from her lasts too long, she can go into depression. I think sometimes Dominants forget or are unaware just how sensitive submissives are to their Dominant’s satisfaction and/or acceptance of them.

What’s your take on it, anyone?

quote:

ORIGINAL: Owner4SexSlave

OK, I'm going to make the codependency call on this one as well.  However...

I tend to look at codependency in both healthy and unhealthy ways.  People tend to form relationships with a codependency upon one another. 

It's a two way street, communication works wonders, so does understanding and seeing problems for what they really are.   Codendent Healthy or Unhealthy is the real issue here.   A relationship is a commitment, and everybody has their own Fucked up behaviors and bad habits.   Face it, nobody is really perfect.  The thing is if it's a good or bad relationship for both people.

Yes, I agree, that when a Dom is disappointed in a submissive, the submissive is even more disappointed in themselves.   This deep understanding I learned a long time ago and I'm very aware of.   All and All I tend to agree with your posting.

In terms of depression, that can be a double edge sword for both Dom and subs. A Dom can suffer from depression and you bet it will effect the sub, a sub can suffer from depression and it will effect the Dom.

A sub or a Dom can withdrawl with one another at any point, and it will effect the other person.  We are all human, withdraw in any relationship has the same effect.

Withdraw is not good.   Sure, perhaps a timeout is a good effective punishment tool.  It places somebody into a state of silence and having to think about things.  I have explained the nature of one's offense, and gave them some quality timeout to reflect upon my words, their own actions.  But this is not withdraw.

Withdraw can actually kill a relationship....

There are times when somebody get wrapped up in work, home improvement projects or something else.   This is not the same as withdraw, it's basically where the other person is overloaded or has become preoccupied with some other thing. This something that can happen to both Dom and sub alike.   What is important is that people see things for what it really is, talk and communicate. 

Any relationship requires one on one time to make it work. 

quote:

ORIGINAL: LATEXBABY64

oh what twisted web you weave. yet with all manner of idealism stuffed in its neat little pocket of life the universe and such some people just do not get it. for addition there must be a subtraction to the question of what is or is not. It is in that  you should find the true answer of your purpose for being where you are and where you are headed  YEP

quote:

ORIGINAL: LATEXBABY64
oh wow a poppi culture term  lets see NOT  no healthy human being on this or other  planet likes mental abuse or negitive put downs how stupid is that
unless they  have some kinda of childhood abuse  NO WAY

quote:

ORIGINAL: geishagurl

Hi JuneCleaver...

I'm talking about his being sad, disappointed, upset or angry with "your" actions... not something he's going through out in the world. When he is upset with you, does it not affect you emotionally?  If he were to withdrawl from you for days because of his disappointment in you, how does that, or would that affect you?

Thanks.. 

quote:

ORIGINAL: SirJmes

quote:

ORIGINAL: geishagurl

Hi JuneCleaver...

I'm talking about his being sad, disappointed, upset or angry with "your" actions... not something he's going through out in the world. When he is upset with you, does it not affect you emotionally?  If he were to withdrawl from you for days because of his disappointment in you, how does that, or would that affect you?

Thanks.. 

When I get upset or disappointed with my sub it does cause emotional distress with her.  I do not withdrawl from her but deal with the behavior right away, talk and correct.  I only use punishment as a last resort and withdrawl for days is not one of them.