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RE: questioning motives - 1/5/2008 8:00:08 AM

magicone

Posts: 53
Joined: 10/28/2006
Status: offline

hello serisa,

i do personally question a lot ,-)) just gives me the feeling of security - safety. it becomes much better over time.
and of course i have learned so far it depends on the right moment to do so. - smile -
some moments just better to ask....
but i have learned one thing so far - i have to get it out of my chest, especially i may do not understand, confuses me or just give me a feeling of discomfort.
like everything else - there is a progress... and we all are not mind readers....
even you may trust someone - trust grows like everything else too and we need to water and shelter it.
if my Daddy would be mad just cause i question about his motives - definitly he would be not the right for me.
you have to be true to yourself....
sometimes he tell me - i will not give you an answer yet cause there may is a surprise....
but at least i always get an asnwer when the time is right...
he take care of me... and i am still a human, still a mother, still a woman.....
all the best

magicone

(in reply to serisa)

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Post #: 21

RE: questioning motives - 1/5/2008 10:00:37 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

Anyone who believes shit they read online over what I've taught them about how we work together isn't the person for me.

And I know- that's dangerous right? I mean what about the dom who says "You are never to question me" and then online all these bitches say "OMG you need to question him!"

Luckily, that's not who I am. They are not to assume what they can and cannot ask about- they are trained in what and how they can ask. Withholding information and insight to me is definitely detrimental and certainly a form of control and manipulation. I remove it whereever possible.

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Post #: 22

RE: questioning motives - 1/5/2008 10:02:53 AM

girlygurl

Posts: 6973
Joined: 8/5/2007
From: in the palms of His hands
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: serisa

if You suspected something He said was not true would You trust Him and ignore it or point it out? perhaps it would depend on how often it happened?.

If I suspected something He said wasn't true I'd ask Him about it, maybe ask Him to clarify it for me. If I felt that He was telling me something untrue and it was happening often, well then that's a whole different issue.

quote:

if He told You something was going to happen, could be anything, something He said He would do, something You would both do together... anything at all... and it didnt happen... without any word or explaination from Him... would You ask why it didint happen or trust there was a good reason for the fact it didint happen.... again perhaps it might depend on how often you were let down?
thanks

First of all, my Sir wouldn't do that. If we had plans and something came up He would communicate that to me. If you're saying, the two of you had a set plan and he didn't contact you to communicate something had come up, or whatever... well that's just rude.

IMO If this happens often I'd say something in a respectful way of course. Blowing off plans that you two have made without saying a word to you is not a trait I would find appealing.

girly

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Post #: 23

RE: questioning motives - 1/5/2008 5:10:47 PM

Maya2001

Posts: 1656
Joined: 8/22/2007
From: Woodstock ONT,CANADA
Status: offline

quote:

Unaddressed trust issues rapidly develop into terminal relationship cancer. I don't always explain the choices I make, esp as many are simply what pleases me, but that's not the same as the trust issues you're describing.

Focus is very much right on this point, you should ask in a respectful manner, if he refuses to give answers on important issues that affect your trust or tells you you are challenging him and being disrespectful for and showing lack of trust because you asked and therefore disciplines you for asking ...... think seriously if this is the kind of relationship you want ..... because it only tends to get worse

< Message edited by Maya2001 -- 1/5/2008 5:12:34 PM >

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Post #: 24