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RE: Mistakes I've made - 1/5/2008 6:19:46 AM   
darbyib6ub9


Posts: 18
Joined: 3/7/2004
Status: offline 		Mistake # 6
 Beating yourself up over it,takes however, we dont always have to look at mistakes as negitive. View it as a learning experince and know that others will be sure to follow. Just keep in mind that each time we end up in this comman trait of being human, that with each encounter we become not only more knowledgeable, but stronger in preperation for the next round. I have faith in you and my heart does go out to you. I wish you nothing but the best for the future. Take care and grow strong. 
Darby

(in reply to MTsLightning)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Mistakes I've made - 1/5/2008 6:32:30 AM   
MissMorrigan


Posts: 2309
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline 		Dear MTsLightning,

I know it hurts, it will for a while. Part of the process when a relationship concludes is coming to terms with the realisation that it has concluded and the loss, it's a kind of grieving that takes place. Right now, you are heaping the world and its problems on your own shoulders, you're human and fallible, we all are. We all make mistakes, however, there were TWO persons in your relationship and I am quite sure BOTH of you will have made mistakes. You've learned some hard lessons, Lightning, if you can have a girlfriend to come over and spend some time with you, do it, and more importantly, the most important man in your life will walk through the door to reaffirm that you are a great mother so focus on that and go do something goofy together.

(in reply to MTsLightning)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Mistakes I've made - 1/5/2008 7:17:02 AM   
vampchick88


Posts: 346
Joined: 4/10/2007
Status: offline 		  I'm sorry that your going through a rough time.   Falling too quickly...it happens. You find someone you believe loves you and always will. You want to be trusting and in turn find people who will love you and never hurt you. Its not your fault that you kept giving and it wasn't enough. It was HIS problem that he never gave back. I'm a Domme but I've discovered that without both partners (or however many) giving at least 50 percent to one another it will never work.
  Being burnt out because your giving your all is an awful feeling, especially when none is returned. I might be a Domme but I've had a hard life where I've done just such. The biggest part that will help you feel better is realizing its not your fault. I know its hard to say, and it might be for quite a while. I did not see a single thing on your post that was a mistake. It was his mistake for not giving you what you needed. Subs and Slaves have needs too.  I agree....eat chocolate, chick flick and crying might help too, then pick yourself back up, becoming better and stronger than ever.

_____________________________

Proud owner of rubberpet, the best investment of my time, trust, and heart that any Domme could ever dream of.

(in reply to MissMorrigan)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Mistakes I've made - 1/5/2008 8:27:07 AM   
GoddessTeaze


Posts: 1125
Joined: 10/14/2006
From: The Netherlands
Status: offline
Dear MTsLightning,

One other thing to add here,
Don't run, don't delete your account, don't be on your own, focus on your son, and still count your blessings.

A relationship is based upon 2 people, and from what I've read in your thread is that you gave, almost more then yourself..
That's never ok.
No one can keep on doing that, so take a look at that point.

Give what you can, but don't go beyond.

One should be happy with you, because you're you, and not because you're walking on eggs, in order to be that perfect slave/sub.
No one is perfect...
Wwe're all humans, and have Oour good and less good sides.
Which is alright.

The fact your best wasn't good enough for Him..
says all about him...
I'm sorry he didn't apriciate you the way he should.

There is a soul out there, who will hon.
It just takes time.
So embrace yourself, and know that you did all you could.

So that's never gonne be an issue..
you tried.


A relationship still takes 2 to tango.

I wish you enough.

Big warm huggg.

Warm Greetingz

GoddezzT`


_____________________________

~* The only disability in life is a bad attitude. ~Scott Hamilton*~

~*Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart. ~Kahlil Gibran*~

(in reply to vampchick88)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Mistakes I've made - 1/5/2008 9:20:55 AM   
batshalom


Posts: 1990
Joined: 9/17/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3

Everyone makes mistakes, the true measure of a person is not the mistakes they make but what they learn from them.


That sums it up nicely. ~smiling~

(in reply to laurell3)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Mistakes I've made - 1/5/2008 9:48:07 AM   
MTsLightning


Posts: 9
Joined: 9/26/2007
Status: offline 		To all of you, with your wisdom, your compassion, your hugs . . . I thank you from the bottom of my heart.  So much truth here, and so much empathy . . . I just can't tell you what it has meant to me over the past 12 hours to feel so supported.  Last night He called and obviously regrets leaving here, is coming to talk this morning, my job now is to get clear on what has to happen in order for me NOT to end up right back where I was.  When I was known here as "Ownerless" I used to peruse these message boards occasionally, but I really had no idea what a wonderful group of people there are here on CM.  Thank you again  . . .

lightning

(in reply to batshalom)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Mistakes I've made - 1/5/2008 2:56:00 PM   
girlygurl


Posts: 6973
Joined: 8/5/2007
From: in the palms of His hands
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3

Everyone makes mistakes, the true measure of a person is not the mistakes they make but what they learn from them.


I agree!

I'm very sorry for what has happened.  As I read your post, I really felt your pain.  I know there's two sides to every story, but it really sounds like he was tearing you down, and chipping away at your self esteem.  You do not need anyone in your life that does that.  As laurell said, "learn"  take from this experience that you won't allow someone to have that kind of power over you. 

I wish you much comfort and sending many hugs!

girly


(in reply to laurell3)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Mistakes I've made - 1/5/2008 5:18:56 PM   
HaveRopeWillBind


Posts: 514
Joined: 7/15/2006
Status: offline 		Seems to me that your only real error here is in not being more selective in choosing your dominant. Knowing a dominant has left/hurt others before you should have been an automatic red flag unless there were very compelling extenuating circumstances.

Pull yourself together and when you feel ready resume your search. This time take it slow and easy and don't allow yourself to be rushed.

(in reply to MTsLightning)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Mistakes I've made - 1/5/2008 6:08:20 PM   
Daddysredhead


Posts: 23574
Joined: 11/6/2005
From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
Status: offline 		Bless your broken heart, sweetie.  I have no magical words, but I - like the others in the "sisterhood" here - would hug you if I could, and give you a shoulder to cry on.  However long it takes, and whatever you feel, it's ok, because it's your grief to process.  You will be ok, you will smile again, you will laugh with wild abandon...  but until that time, be good to you and your heart.

DRH

_____________________________

Founding Member, Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's

Do not challenge me to a battle of wits & come to fight unarmed.

Are you really that stupid? ~ Bless your heart

13th doughnut


(in reply to HaveRopeWillBind)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Mistakes I've made - 1/5/2008 6:12:22 PM   
whenstarscollide


Posts: 90
Joined: 11/24/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Daddysredhead

Bless your broken heart, sweetie.  I have no magical words, but I - like the others in the "sisterhood" here - would hug you if I could, and give you a shoulder to cry on.  However long it takes, and whatever you feel, it's ok, because it's your grief to process.  You will be ok, you will smile again, you will laugh with wild abandon...  but until that time, be good to you and your heart.

DRH


*nods* what she said...

(in reply to Daddysredhead)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Mistakes I've made - 1/5/2008 9:10:09 PM   
Surrenderwithin


Posts: 368
Joined: 10/8/2006
Status: offline 		I can empathize with your pain and wish there were some words of wisdom or comfort that I could speak. Take time, do something for yourself and reflect on the advice that has been given here. Let me give you a bit of hope in saying that sometimes quickly loving and trusting someone can work out. I know it did for me. I am sure that you will find that special one when the time is right in your life. Take time to heal and one day step out and love again and things will fall into place. Each pain we face is an experience from which we can learn and grow. Embrace the lessons and live dear girl!
Maggi

(in reply to TemptingNviceSub)
Profile   Post #: 31
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