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How did it happen? - 1/6/2008 2:32:18 AM

darkpassenger434

Posts: 138
Joined: 1/1/2008
Status: offline

As a single Dom/Master getting rapidly disillusioned I am just curious. For all the Doms/Masters out there. How did you meet your other? I'm curious if there are ANY success stories for DM, or are munches and local stuff the way to go usually? All people are different, but if something like 90% of them achieve their goals in a certain way, I think thats quite telling. Curiously awaiting information.
-R

_____________________________

"The man who says it cannot be done should not interrupt the man doing it."

Post #: 1

RE: How did it happen? - 1/6/2008 2:34:49 AM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

Valyraen met me at a college party that had nothing to do with BDSM.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to darkpassenger434)

Post #: 2

RE: How did it happen? - 1/6/2008 2:37:12 AM

trainedobedients

Posts: 56
Joined: 1/30/2006
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

I met my slave online via Collarme. We had email/ phone/ skype contact for 9 months before we met and we are a couple for two years now. It took some time and I also was about to leave the scene because of all the frauds and liars. The only advice I can give you is hang in and be honest, it worked for me.

Master JohnnyV.

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Post #: 3

RE: How did it happen? - 1/6/2008 2:55:54 AM

MsLadySue

Posts: 2254
Joined: 12/18/2004
Status: offline

I met my sub on a dating site. He remembered seeing my picture on alt.com a couple of years before so he wrote an introduction email that included some d/s information.

_____________________________

In order for you to insult me, I would first have to value your opinion.
I love it when someone insults me. That means I don't have to be nice anymore.

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Post #: 4

RE: How did it happen? - 1/6/2008 5:12:24 AM

TreasureKY

Posts: 3032
Joined: 4/10/2007
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

FirmhandKY and I met here on CM, but not on the personals side. Because of my posts here in the forum, he looked at my profile and placed me on his favorites list. I noticed him being on my admirers list and knew I had enjoyed reading his posts in the forum so I read his profile and journal, then wrote to him. Nine months later I moved from Texas to Kentucky to be near him. It will be two years in April and I couldn't be happier.

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Post #: 5

RE: How did it happen? - 1/6/2008 5:29:28 AM

antipode

Posts: 1787
Joined: 4/19/2004
Status: offline

Percentages don't matter, life is not a calculation of chance. Maybe you're achieving what you're looking for in a way that nobody else has - that is as valid as the 90% question. If something hasn't worked for you, try something different, what works for me happens because I am me.

---------------

Trixie: That's right Ralph, Carlos is teaching us the mambo.
Ralph Kramden: Ohhhhhhh, Carlos is teaching you the mambo... that puts a different light on everything... when I first came in here, I didn't know what you were doing... now I know, Carlos is teaching you the mambo... that makes a world of difference... One of these days, one of these days... POW! RIGHT IN THE KISSER!

(in reply to darkpassenger434)

Post #: 6

RE: How did it happen? - 1/6/2008 7:17:35 AM

daddysliloneds

Posts: 1351
Joined: 6/28/2006
Status: offline

i'm a submissive/bottom and have met every dominant the same way; they contact me via e-mail through one of the various sites i'm on and then we met for coffee.

(in reply to darkpassenger434)

Post #: 7

RE: How did it happen? - 1/6/2008 7:39:38 AM

BabyDollVanIsle

Posts: 103
Joined: 10/27/2007
Status: offline

Hi Darkpassenger,

if you want to meet someone, you have to put yourself out there. I put myself on Alt.com (useless for me for some reason), Collarme. com (love it) and a smaller local site for the area i live in.

I corresponded with several interesting prospects on Collarme, but things never felt right enough to meet.

I was eventually contacted by someone closer to me for the local BDSM site, and we just clicked because of true compatibility in what really matters... values, degree of sincerity, truly compatible personalities.

when you meet that special person with whom you have true deep compatibility, it is unmistakable, and scary. you suddenly realize what the stakes are, if it doesn't work out, or it it does.

i also really beleive in taking time. i find a lot of people involved in BDSM have very limited concentration spans. if you delay meeting for at least a month, a lot of them won't be able to maintain their focus and will drop away.

Did i follow this rule with the person i am seeing now? Nope.. he was so clearly of interest and clearly so different than anyone else i had been contacted by, I went for it.

Anyways, hope that is of help.

also, i would also say throw away a lot of restrictions about age, appearance, etc etc.

i would have screened out my love in Collarme for age alone (over 20 year age difference), and never met him. but the local site was so casual, they didn't have that kind of approach. if someone liked your intro or post, they just emailed you directly, no auto sorting and screening.

the right person is so gripping emotionally (at least for me) that age, appearance, height.. a lot of things became completely irrelevant.

baby doll

(in reply to daddysliloneds)

Post #: 8

RE: How did it happen? - 1/6/2008 7:53:54 AM

Sexynmentalinkc

Posts: 132
Joined: 4/14/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: darkpassenger434

How did you meet your other?

When I have the answer to this question, perhaps I'll come back and add 2 cents.

In the past, most of my connections have been via an acquaintence.

- Mr. S

_____________________________

"I think all right-thinking people in this country are sick and tired of being told that ordinary, decent people are fed up in this country with being sick and tired. ...I'm certainly not. And I'm sick and tired of being told that I am..."

(in reply to darkpassenger434)

Post #: 9

RE: How did it happen? - 1/6/2008 7:58:04 AM

SirMIkeSD

Posts: 613
Joined: 3/16/2007
From: San Diego, Ca
Status: offline

I meet my boy localy at a party, the internet can work but with the distances involved I think for me it is better to look localy, even online I try and only talk with those close by (100-150 miles or so) so that the chance of meeting is high.

Mike

(in reply to BabyDollVanIsle)

Post #: 10

RE: How did it happen? - 1/6/2008 7:59:54 AM

slaveluci

Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline

Master and I met here on CM. He contacted me and we chatted online and via phone calls for about six weeks. I then took a week-long vacation and drove from WV to AR to spend a few days with Him. It was a glorious week and I made several trips back to AR for a week or two at a time over the next year or so. I finally moved to AR to live with Him full time last year. In late spring, it will be two years that we have been together and.....on our two-year relationship anniversary.....we are going to be back in WV tying the knot in front of friends and family

.

Munches and one's local community are great if you like that sort of thing. I do not. However, CM afforded us the opportunity to find each other from 800 miles away and it's the most wonderful relationship either of us have ever had. It's absolute bliss, I tell you, bliss

. Best of luck to you, darkpassenger...........luci

_____________________________

To choose a good book, look in an inquisitor’s prohibited list. ~John Aikin

(in reply to darkpassenger434)

Post #: 11

RE: How did it happen? - 1/6/2008 8:02:17 AM

sambamanslilgirl

Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline

i met Daddy on AFF after sending me very long and detailed email. we have been together over a year.

i met SO here and we're planning an Aug wedding.

_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...

...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

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Post #: 12

RE: How did it happen? - 1/6/2008 8:32:25 AM

RoughFN

Posts: 197
Joined: 7/26/2006
Status: offline

I've met one past slave on collarme, and couple of subs a few years ago on bondage.com when they were still free for contacts. One long term sub and a few brief encounters that didn't work out for various reasons.

Incidentally, all of the girls that I'd met on the BDSM sites contacted me first. I don't know if the girls just get too buried in emails from all the oh so very domly guys on here, or if I just write a better profile than an opening letter. But they always found me first. Exchanged some emails, went out to eat, got to business.

But babe is a different story - I knew her back in high school and we were pretty good friends. Never did anything (dammit), but good friends. Since then I'd been trying to get back in touch with her intermittently over the years. I finally tracked her down again last June, but we never successfully made a lunch date for a few months.

Then towards the end of August she sent me a joking email saying that she almost hit on my wife (they're both bi). So that opened the door to talking a bit more and lo, she's also in an open relationship. Then she sent me a link to her favorite porn site (sexandsubmission.com). And wow, it turns out she's extremely submissive but never found anybody to do anything with. A few domly guys who really didn't know what they were doing and weren't in control of themselves and that's it.

So we struck up our friendship again and quickly progressed past that until we were both quite quite sure that we were going to stick with each other as a long term thing and I collared her.

No bdsm dating sites involved at all. And hell, had we gotten together for lunch at some point earlier than when we finally did, we might not have ever gone anywhere. Standard catch up conversation, vow to keep in touch, fail to do so, and never see each other again. So the timing for this to happen was just amazing. Total serendipity.

(in reply to daddysliloneds)

Post #: 13

RE: How did it happen? - 1/6/2008 8:59:22 AM

takenbyjohnr07

Posts: 787
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline

i met my Owner here on CM. After ten years f actively searching. The first several E-mails as well as the phone calls were vanilla. i was grateful for that because i had no real time experience. Anyway, we have been together ever since and unless something changes. We will be moving in together within the next few months. i don't think there is a special or best way to meet someone. It just happens when it's suppose to, which can be very frustrating, but also very worth the wait. Good luck

_____________________________

i am the sole property of Johnr. He is the love of my life and the greatest Owner and i will live to serve and, please him only every day of my life.

(in reply to RoughFN)

Post #: 14

RE: How did it happen? - 1/6/2008 10:39:21 AM

xxblushesxx

Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

Master contacted me here on CM. I told Him I didn't think we would be compatible in the D/s lifestyle, but that we could be friends. He told me that friends were fine, but that when He really wanted something, He usually got it. We corresponded over a period of months, and I began to become attracted to Him. (His personality), and then we began talking on the phone. When I heard His voice, I was smitten. (He has a really HOT accent! *g*), then we made plans to meet, and eventually I relocated from Indiana to KY to be with Him. We've been together close to two years now.

Don't give up if you think someone is a really good match. If someone wants to be friends now, accept it with grace, and let her see you at your best. The very worst that could happen is you make a few new friends. And the best...well...you know!

Good luck!

~Christina

(in reply to takenbyjohnr07)

Post #: 15

RE: How did it happen? - 1/6/2008 10:58:51 AM

BlindDescent

Posts: 113
Joined: 9/26/2006
Status: offline

What is the vibe you send? What is the expectation you seek? Is your agenda transparent? Do you represent yourself/your intended as a list to be checked off?
It seems most successful pairings begin as conversations that have the time to breathe without pressured overtones. When I have been given an opportunity to write with someone; I view myself as a guest. The energy you send reveals who you truly are. If you are evolving. Be honest. Most ladies can dissect confidence from experience from actuality of self. I never promise more than I can provide. I clearly state who I am and how I perceive my place and role within the context of this realm. Say what you mean and mean what you say.
Remember meeting doesn't imply lasting...but it's a beginning. Zen aspects work wonders for me. Avoid a tight grip on expectations while embracing the possibility at hand. There is far less frustration should things not become the perfection of the mental picture we all wish to manifest.
Hope at least a few words were helpful; if only for pondering.

_____________________________

Reality is what you create; not what others leave behind.

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Post #: 16

RE: How did it happen? - 1/6/2008 11:07:10 AM

Evility

Posts: 915
Joined: 12/19/2007
Status: offline

I met my submissive online on IRC in a fetish channel a little over two years ago. Before that I met three other people online that I had both short and long term real life D/s relationships with. Come to think of it, everyone I have ever been involved with in real life in some fetish relationship has originated from meeting online. I really don't venture out all that often into the local bdsm community mostly because it's so difficult to do so and keep a straight face. It's all like a bad fetish version of "This Is Spinal Tap".

Having said that I don't think that one method is any better than another for meeting people. I've just had more luck online. No matter what - you must be patient. That much I have learned.

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Post #: 17

RE: How did it happen? - 1/6/2008 11:28:14 AM

completenz

Posts: 315
Joined: 1/10/2007
Status: offline

We met here
C sat down and wrote a very detailed profile stating exactly what He was seeking. It was funny and warm as well as being detailed. When He first emailed me i was talking to another so we began as friends. He was never pushy, just friendly and easy to talk to. The first time we spoke on the phone i felt so drawn to Him, He has the most amazing sexy laugh . When we were both free to meet, well.......the rest is history.

The wedding is the 23rd of next month and neither of us have known such happiness before.
Hang in there and dont rush into anything
c

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Post #: 18

RE: How did it happen? - 1/6/2008 11:33:27 AM

Daddysredhead

Posts: 23574
Joined: 11/6/2005
From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
Status: offline

Daddy and I met outside my office in June 2003. He worked across the street from me. (We were in the same career field.) I was outside crying because my then husband and I had were discussing our divorce proceedings over the phone and ended up having a huge argument. I was trying to "not be seen" by anyone as I bawled my eyes out behind a little partition attached to my building. He was on the second floor of his building and could see me from above, and came outside to talk to me. We spoke for a long time about what was bothering me and how my marriage came to an end. I told him that I wish I could find a man that I respected enough to trust with decision making and all. He asked me to elaborate. I said, "You know, like Biblical sumission of a wife to a husband? She defers to him and he protects her and does his best to help her grow as a person, but they both love each other enough to not take advantage of the arrangement. That's what I wish I had." I remember he smiled at me and said, "Yes, I know exactly what you mean." (giggles as I think back to that conversation) I had never heard of BDSM until several months later when he explained it to me and had me read several books, websites, etc. to see what I thought.

So, for us, we started out as friends, turned into lovers, then he brought in the D/s aspect which I agreed to. Almost 5 years later, we're still going strong. I wish you well as you seek the one to make you happy.

~ DRH

_____________________________

Founding Member, Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's

Do not challenge me to a battle of wits & come to fight unarmed.

Are you really that stupid? ~ Bless your heart

13th doughnut

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Post #: 19

RE: How did it happen? - 1/6/2008 12:00:55 PM

takenbyjohnr07

Posts: 787
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline

i just read Your profile and throughout it You state that You are only looking to get to know people and to make friends. If i were looking i would not contact You, because i would feel that You are not looking for a serious relationship. We women don't need any more friends we have enough. Also You talk of Your pickiness. To me that is a real turn off. Everyone has their standards so to me there is no need to say that You do. To me it's insulting as if You wrote no fat chicks or anyone who isn't perfect. Maybe i'm wrong? Has anyone else read his profile? What is your opinion? Thanks

_____________________________

i am the sole property of Johnr. He is the love of my life and the greatest Owner and i will live to serve and, please him only every day of my life.

(in reply to darkpassenger434)

Post #: 20

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