|
BostonGuy -> RE: Grrrrrr.... (9/2/2005 3:53:00 PM)
|
On the basis of this thread, there are a number of key points that have been touched upon that are not only of relevance but are reflective of our wish to connect with another person at something other than a superficial level. These were put quite well by John Warren and have also been added to by Sandi. The take home message is that whether you are hoping to "reel in" a submissive or to attract a dominant woman, it is far better to approach them as people than as a persona and to be open enough to allow the other person to learn about you as a person.
A dominant woman is a woman (an obvious though often neglected point) and a person (also sadly neglected by some men) who has hopes, interests, and wishes that are reflective of her as an individual. In order to establish something far deeper than a "scene" it is important to know each other and to be attracted emotionally, intellectually, and physically. The way that vanilla people get to know each other over the course of time may well be short-circuited at a site such as Collarme, where specific D/s and BDSM interests take precedence over other interests. Does the other person enjoy going to used bookstores, sitting outside and "people watching", going to comedy clubs, watching a DVD at home and snuggling with the person that is so very special, going to an upscale restaurant on occasion (or for no special occasion!), receiving flowers, and have parents, brothers, sisters, or children?
Warmth, the ability to learn about each other, and ultimately falling for the person is very different from meeting someone and having a "collaring ceremony" the following week. For this to last -- a truly long-term loving relationship -- there has to be love of the person. In effect, John Warren's post noted the importance of what forms much of the basis of initial vanilla romantic attraction, something that those in the BDSM community may well understand but so rarely voice given the emphasis on play parties and other means of immediate gratification in the absence of an emotional connection.
|
|
|
|
