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I am finding it hard to meet.... - 1/6/2008 5:07:10 PM

Winkinggoddess

Posts: 1
Joined: 5/28/2007
Status: offline

Hi All -
I am a submissive female - not new to the scene - but I have always played within a community - and mostly with one Top. I would like to find a local play partner - but as a submissive - I am very concerned about going to a hotel or someone's home to begin. I live in the NYC...and would like to meet a man that would be willing to have initial play sessions in a public play space such as Paddles. It would make me feel safter - and more able to surrender. I am finding that so many people are reluctant to play in public...what is a girl suppose to do???
Kate

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RE: I am finding it hard to meet.... - 1/6/2008 6:15:08 PM

AMaster

Posts: 814
Joined: 8/4/2005
Status: offline

You make me sorry I left New York.

(in reply to Winkinggoddess)

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RE: I am finding it hard to meet.... - 1/6/2008 6:21:20 PM

Lena7

Posts: 2
Joined: 12/19/2007
Status: offline

I am right there with you. It is not easy just to trust anyone while you are being a sub. A couple Dom's that wanted to meet were not confortable in the public eye. I would not compromise and stay with going to a place like Paddles to play at first.

(in reply to Winkinggoddess)

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RE: I am finding it hard to meet.... - 1/7/2008 12:04:00 PM

Verdelet

Posts: 148
Joined: 8/2/2007
From: Central WI
Status: offline

I'm one of those who are not comfortable in the public ONLY because I am high profile within the U.S. Not a good thing if people knew I strung up girls or caged them. Of course I meet at restaurants and such, but playing in public is a huge no no for me. However, as Lena stated, trusting is not easy and is hard to come by these days.

_____________________________

"The Masochist desires to experience stronger sensations, but desires that it should be inflicted with Love. The Sadist desires to inflict stronger sensations, but desires that it should be felt as Love." - Unknown

(in reply to Lena7)

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RE: I am finding it hard to meet.... - 1/7/2008 5:48:41 PM

CelticPrince

Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline

kate,

relax, you will be flooded with offers here.

Good fortune,

CP

(in reply to Winkinggoddess)

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RE: I am finding it hard to meet.... - 1/7/2008 5:53:37 PM

lilabbotsfordgrl

Posts: 140
Joined: 1/4/2008
Status: offline

I'd never play in public personally, ESPECIALLY with someone I wasn't comfortable with. That would just ruin the entire experience. In fact I doubt I could even do it at all to begin with. Playing is private for me and I want security of knowing I'm alone with him. Even if I was meeting someone new, I'd want it to be safe but semiprivate, like at a quiet restaurant, and then in his place. Somewhere he's in control of, where he can do what he wants with me. After all, that's my desire. :)

But I do share with you the trouble of meeting anyone. I'm in Vancouver BC, young and horny, and there's literally nobody else in the area looking someone like me. Disturbing and upsetting!

(in reply to CelticPrince)

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RE: I am finding it hard to meet.... - 1/7/2008 6:06:29 PM

SoCurious2Feel

Posts: 38
Joined: 6/28/2005
Status: offline

I think it's hard to meet anyone anywhere. It's hard to be safe and meet someone, especially because so many seem to expect to play when first meeting. If I don't know you, how can I be expected to submit with no trust?

(in reply to lilabbotsfordgrl)

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RE: I am finding it hard to meet.... - 1/7/2008 7:43:28 PM

SeraphimsPhoto

Posts: 10
Joined: 1/2/2008
Status: offline

Hello Winkinggoddess, This being my 3rd post here in the forums please take anything I say with a grain of salt. Treat an encounter with a possible new Dominant partner as you would any other encounter with a new person. Go on a dinner date. Talk to the person. Feel them out for that “I will stab you when you are helpless” twitch. Talk to them about what is acceptable and what is not with you. Communication is the key to any good relationship. Be it a one night spanking to something more permanent. Because you have met a person “paddle in hand” in no way means bend over and take it now. Good Luck in your searches.

(in reply to SoCurious2Feel)

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